Whoopsee! Forgot the dare requirements.
Cassirin's dare:
*Someone must say, "There's something about the green ones."
*Someone discovers they have a hidden talent.
*A male character must be seen carrying/ playing with a Barbie.
*Someone must say, "How... precious?"
*Harry is allergic to the author.
*Someone must decide that all chickens should be called snarfles.

By the way all the rhyming was because I popped into Cass's FF without my invitation, and so she vowed revenge, by making Hermione talk in rhyme.

Very enjoyable Cass, Thanx!

wow... i love that you guys are taking my randomness and turning it into profitable humor! and the talking in rhymes... i was going to make it a dare component in the future, but i'll just retire it with you and zy.

my favoritest parts: Let alone the monkeys trying to stuff Mrs Norris into a sock, which squeeled and and ran off saying some very rude things in sockish.
"Well, tell him to stop."
"I wish I could, but I don't speak peacock."
"You call yourself a Linguistic's Chicken, Ha!"

Ra-Ra, Lotus. You are a shining example of Evilness. You deserve a theme song. Wanna buy Sponge Bob off of me? PLEASE...!

:wub: *blushes*

I've never heard of sponge bob.
How does it go?

Erm... I don't know. I've never heard it either... rather awkward as theme songs go. Right now, all I can think of is "Larry Boy..." and if you know that one, you're really random.

Zy gave it to me... I'm getting a new one, I hope .

Atlest Zy gave you a theme song, I just got silence.........*cricket chirp*

Hey Cass what do you think about, "If I only had a brain." as my theme.
Although, it's not very Evil inspiring song.

Maybe I'll work on it for a bit.

I'm sorry. To tell the truth- I have never heard Sponge Bob. But I heard an elderly aunt of mine sing that- and it left me rather scarred. Besides... here was this one really cool ff where everybody had a theme or thunder except Harry. Draco's was ... spongbob. *squirms* But that didn't influence my choise. It's sort of shouted- not really sung. Like a chear. And Lotus... I hereby grant you with a sizzlewam lighting crackle!
And Cass- you can have... DUN DUN DUN!

Thanks Zy.
Lotus *Sizzlewam :storm: crackle* is grateful.

Sorry I havn't posted my dare yet, but the computer is going phycho. So I will do it soon, I promise.

Here it is, the next edition of All mortals BEWARE!

"Ron, what are you WEARING?!" screeched Her-Minny
"Huh? Oh, these? Harry gave them to me as an early christmas present, he says they are called doxies." said ron, with a big grin.
"Not doxies, boxers. But why are you wearing them over your robes."
"Um, some mysteriously beautiful lady floated out of the sky and told me I should to wear them this way. Then she change them from blue, to orange and green polka dotts, she said it suited my eyes." he confessed blushing.
The Author giggled almost hysterically, *ahem* "Sorry."
Her-Minny glared malevelently at the unseen Author.
"I think she was playing a joke on you Ron. No one wears them like that."
"The Lovely Lady Lotus, (not Wicked) said it would start a trend and make......" he paused, looking nervous and red, "make all the *cough* girls see what a stud I was." with that he dashed out of the library in complete embaressment, and almost plowed into, non other than the person in my avatar.

Yes, Lucius Malfoy. Who apparently been up at the school to complain about something or other, no one realy gives a rats, when he spotted the red haired boy in some bright silky shorts, strolling into the library, and decided to follow.
He remained hidden behind some of the book shelves until he nearly got bowled into.
The boy looked so utterly horrified he didn't even wait to be told off.
The Twisted cogs in Lucius's head were turning, from what he overheard. There was no need to tell the boy off now, he would just destoy his life a little later. *sinister music*

Harry was so excited, Christmas eve already, strange considering it was mid june a couple of chapters ago. Anyway, that night Griffindor had a party, for what few people were there, Harry ate too much candy and went to bed early.
And as most parrents will tell you, too much candy before you go to bed gives you nightmares.
When Harry slipped off into the land of Nod, he found himself running naked through a field of wildflowers singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow while being chased by underpants gnomes.
At this point your Author whistles * :whisle: *, "all that fighting evil gives you a nice.... *ahem* excuse me."
Back to the story, recap: Harry naked :wub: (with bits blurred of course ), running and singing.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, sky's are blue-oooo.
And the love that your dreaming, dreams really do come true-oo-ooo.
Someday I'll wish apon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind......."
blablabla, you know how it goes. What's important is that Harry is naked, blurred but naked. And being chased by uderpants gnomes, when he has no underpants.

To be continued soon......

yay... you updated! I"ve been waiting and waiting and...

Why did you put poor Ronnie in those hideous boxers? You evil, evil child... they would have looked good as a hat as well... OH! Sparks of evilness!

And naked Harry... hmm... shall we kick you with our pointy shoes over the nudity?

It was the dare, the dare made me do it! *giggles*
And he was blurred anyway. They show blurred streakers on the news, so I should be allowed to do the same in my fic.
Well, thats my way of thinking anyway.
It's a good thing the gnomes didn't catch him, they might have thought the blurry parts were underwear, then i'd be in trouble.

Mwahahahhaa!!!! Funny lotus!!! heheheheheheh!!!!!!!!......Okay................... ...............
.................................................. ............................
..................................... :unsure: ...........................
Hahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahaahahhaha!!!!!!!!!

whew! Okay, I'm done...doxies....you LOVELY person you....

ROTFL

i thought he was blurred?

i wanna know what happens after harry finishes his song
i hope the underpants gnomes dont get him
just out of curiosity; what is an underpants gnome?

Jolly good work! Keep it up!!
BUT:
Spongebob Squarepants!! How does it go??

Here:
C (Captain= )Are ya ready kids?
Kids (K)= Aye, Aye captain!
C= I can't heeeaaar yooouuu!
K= AYE, AYE CAPTAIN!
C= oooooooooooo.........
C= Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
K= Sponge Bob Square Pants!
C= Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
K= Sponge Bob Square Pants!
C= If nautical nonsense be somethin' ya wish.
K= Sponge Bob Square Pants!
C= Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.
K= Sponge Bob Square Pants!
C= Ready?
C&K= Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Booob Square Paaants!
C= Ah Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha, hArgh wh..arire..Ha arrrigh.

Link to the actual song SONG

Enjoy! :flowersmile:

Thanks guys. Sorry me4ron, no nudeity in this one, maybe next time.
Underpants Gnomes came from South Park. Shhh, I took them.
They mostly come at night, and steal underpants, while singing a little song. I can't remember it, something like, "We work all day to steal underpants." something, something, etc.
Thanks Hoiq for the sponge bob song.

Somewhere very white and snowy :snowman: , little people are running around frantic. These little people might also be called christmas elves. (Christmas elves are the house elves cousins, and also have magic of their own, how else would you explain all the stuff they do.)
"Oh no, sick he is. What will we do?" said the head elf who wore specticals. And apparently all christmas elves talk like Yoda.
"Get Dumbledore we must, help us he would, yes!"

So the elves ran to the wall at the far back of their workshop and picked up a large rectangle of wood off the floor, and set it against the wall.
Then the head elf pulled out a bronze key from his vest pocket and turned it in a nott of the wood. With a click the rectangle swung out, revealing a corrodoor behind it, the little people stepped through and walked along the passage until they happened on a girl with bushy hair who was about to walk down some stairs.

"Find Dumbledore, we must. He is where?" said the head elf
"Um, who are you?" her-minny said as politely as she could
"Ribbonwrap Boxtop, am I. Urgent it is, that Albus we see. Sick is Christmas Father, deliver presents he cannot, a christmas without them there will be."
"Oh no!" cried minny, "Up to the left, Dumbledore's office is....I mean, His office is up one flight and to the left."
"Greatful we are. You we thank." and the small group of little people hurried off.

Her-Minny was miserable, no presents would she get......grr....I think what she ment to say was, she would get no presents. She walked through the common room on the way to her dorm, when Lavender paraded her new hat that her family sent her.
"What do you think Hermione? Isn't it beautiful!"
In a very pouty voice Minny said, "Nooo, it's looks stupid, like you!" and ran the rest of the way up to her room.

Later the night Ron got a call through the fireplace, from his distressed father.
"Son, I don't know what to do. Your mother has left me, she gave me devorce papers this evening." mr weasley wimpered, but ron was speechless.
"She said she is leaving me and running away with Lucius Malfoy! After she saw him yesterday in some ridiculus shinny shorts, she would not even look at me!"
"What? What colour were the shorts? Cause I also saw him yesterday, actually I bumped into him. Come to think of it thats the time my doxies, I mean boxers went missing.......He must have overheard me, then stolen them to use their powers on mum!" shreiked ron.
"So, he's bewitched her! Well, we'll see about that! Thanks son, don't worry I'll fix everything." pop, and he was gone. Leaving ron to agonise over what happened.

He thought about talking to Minny about it, so he wandered up to her room.
Don't ask me how he got past the charms, maybe it was because his intentions were purely honourable, or because he was so upset that the charm felt sorry for him, who knows?
He knocked on the door, heard come in, and walked into the room.
"What do you want?" said minny, still in her pouty voice.
"Me mum and dad might be getting a devorce."
"They could at least deliver my presents." she said without even listening to ron. But he didn't even notice, lost in his own thoughts.
"It would break up the whole family."
"I'm allways good, but Lavender is the one who gets the presents."
"Dad, would fix it, he said so himself."
"I'll still get some presents though, I guess it wont be that bad."
"Everything will work out. Thanks Hermione."
"Yeah, thanks Ron."
Ron left, walked to his own room and fell right asleep, and so did Minny.
All was well even the mouse.

Dare complete.
Elizabeth Wood's dare:
1. Santa Clause gets sick and cannot give out presents on Christmas and Hermione pouts throughout the whole fanfic about this.
2. Ron's mum must give Mr. Weasley divorce papers for Christmas and run away with Lucius Malfoy.
3. Ron must have a sudden obsession with orange and green polka-dotted boxers
4. Harry must run naked through a field of wildflowers singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow
5. You must appear in the story and be (what else?) EVIL! MWAHAHAHAAAAA!

Sorry Hermione was pouting for only half of it, I hope thats ok. I forgot about it.

Congratulations, Lotus!!!! You made my evil dare.......EVEN MORE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Oh, my! That story had me laughing SO hard, I had tears in my eyes! Here, have an EVIL(!)flower! And an EVIL(!) hug! *HUG*

Beth

Lotus, I apologize... of course the dare made you do it. And you did blurry things up... good work! Very, very funny... I hope the Weasleys don't have to go to family counsling for this - although now that I think of it, that would be an incredibly funny fic!

Nice work, evil one!

I the Great and Terrible Zymurgy *thunder* have read you fic. Deal.

teehee....I liked it... ....right now i'm laughing...hard.

Hogwarts Talent Quest
All talents welcome. Please write you name and talent on the list.
Dumbledore

"Uh streuth, I'm gonna sign up for it. And do my great Steve Irwin impression." proclaimed harry.
"Who?" asked ron.
"Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter!" said harry crouching down and spreading his flayling arms about.
"Flamin 'ell, you don't know about steve?!? *dodging and weaving* He's the best crocodile hunter there is, he owns a wildlife park in Austraila. Look i'll show you." glancing around he spotted the storage closet and dashed in.

A couple of minutes later he burst open the door.
"Crikey!" harry cried wrestling the hose of a vaccuum cleaner.
He was wearing the end of mop on his head, a khaki shirt, short shorts and some old boots.
The Author took one look and rolled her eyes. Being a Australian herself, she, like the rest of her country think he's a bit embarressing.
"Keep back, he's mighty dangerous! One wrong move and i'd be dead! They've got a nasty bite."
Harry slammed the hose to the ground, jumped high into the air and fell on top of it, rolling around. His sharp exagerated movements and calling at the top of his voice was drawing a crowd. They watched as he dived and rolled with the inanimate vaccuum hose.
"It's ok, your right mate! I'm not gonna hurt ya. Isn't he beautiful....off you go mate."
He puts the hose down and backs away slowly. "Your right. Good bloke."

The audience applauded, while Harry crouched and jumped from side to side, looking like he was going to tackle someone.
"You get it now?"
"Ahhh..........Nope, got no clue." ron confessed looking sheepish.
"Baaa!"
"Who let that sheep in here?" asked mcgonagall as everyone disspersed.

As Ron and Harry walked to class, Seamus joined them.
"You guys entering the talent show? I'm going to sing Dany boy." he said.
"Harry is, but I'm not, I haven't got any talents." replied a forelorn ron.
"Oh, well I heard Professor Flitwick is going to tap dance." seamus said as flitwick walked into class.
"Is that true Professor?" asked harry
"Oooh, yes. I'm pretty niffty on my toes, watch." he jumped up on the edge of a sink, performed his tap dance beautifully until nevile squeeled, then the small man tumbled off and hit the floor hard.
"Owwww, my Glutemus Maxiumus!"
"Huh?"
"My BUM!" cried flitwick as some of the students helped him up and toddled him off to pomfrey.
"Man, I could really go for some peanut butter." said seamus, looking through his bag he found a jar that he uses to dip the end of his quill in, for taste. Stuck two fingers in and promptly shoved them in his mouth.

When Professor Flitwick finally made it to Madame Pomfrey, she came rushing to his aid, only to be of no use at all.
Apparently some of Hagrid's Skrewts had gotten in and destroyed everything. No one knows who put them in there. *sneeze*-Peeves-*sneeze* excuse me.

The night of the talent quest came, but a number of accidents had befallen the would be enterants, including falling off a sink. So the only people left were Dumbledore, Seamus and Harry.
Seamus was first, but when he didn't come, someone went to look for him, they found him with jars all around him and his face covered in peanut butter.
"I don't eel so ood." he said, and that left him out of the running.
Then I was Dumbledores turn, he did an inspired Rap performance on a staff table.
And last was Harry, the beginning went well, all crikey's and streuth's and mate's, but after 3 minutes a slight woosh filled the hall, then a trap door opened under Harrys feet.
"Bugga!" was all he got a chance to say before he fanished.

Dumbledore made an anouncement.
"Well it seems there can be only one winner.....ME!"
People applauded with confused looks on their faces. While Dumbledore bowed, then made a 'West side' sign with his fingers, at the crowd and crossed it over his chest.
And said, "4 real!"


This was the dare by Hoig the Kahndee:
*Someone (NOT RON) must talk like an Aussie, just say Mate, Streuth, Crikey, Flamin Hooligan and Bugga alot
* Dumbledore must Rap at a Staff Talent Quest
* Another Teacher must Tap Dance, and fall off the sink, get hurt.
*Madame Pomphrey cannot mend their bones/bruises and broken body parts
* Someone must start having cravings for Peanut Butter, usually at odd times.

hehehehehe that was very good Lotus. We New Zealanders think Steve Irwin is a bit OTT too

Nice work, Lotus... it's a lot more natural for you to put some Australian jargon in there than for me to. Felt very... right? Anyway, I love that Seamus got sick off peanut butter. Did Dumbledore fix the show? *gasp* Sounds just like the barmy old codger

Thanx guys.
Kristie, I didn't know you were a New Zelander.

I have to admit this dare took me awhile to write, I was tring to get Harry...I mean Steve just right, my mum even helped a bit.
I hope it wasn't too painful to read.

i don't think i've made it a widely publicised fact, but yeah i'm a NZer.

BTW, my name is Kirstie, not Kristie.

Oh sorry KIRSTIE, my brain is not always switched on.
Hopefully I will be updating today.
A BIG thankyou to all my devoted readers and here, Ice Creams for all. :superchoc: :superchoc: :superchoc: :superchoc:
Just don't go dripping it on my story.........only i'm allowed to do that!

Mmmm... ice cream. I'll try not to drip.

*all the characters and eliters suddenly realize they have ice cream in their hair* Er, sorry... I'm a bit of a mess. Always have been. Here, let me clean you up. *licks napkin and dabs it at several eliters who run away*

Fine, be sticky.