Well this is my frist attempt at a FF, so dont hate me if it sux.

"All mortals BEWARE" said Harry, as he wiped the dust off the ancient tome. As the writing seemed to shimmer and disappear only to reappear and fizzle as if etched with acid.

"Harry don't touch it, I've heard about those kinds of books, squeeled Hermione, the pages hold powerful, long forgotten magics which have been known to cause the owners to vanish." Hermione clearly agitated gave Ron a death stare as he egged on Harry.

"Come on Harry, Sirius wouldn't have mentioned it if he thought it would be dangerous for US" pleaded Ron.
"Besides, think of how fun it will be to pay back Malfoy or even Snape!"

"Yeah, Ron's right Hemione, don't tell me you wouldn't mind a little pay back after Snape made you drink Nevile's potion for correcting his pronunciation.
The way your hair turned into octopus tenticles, that was pretty embaressing, not to mention when Malfoy shot you with that spell to make you say, 'Either I'm having a REALLY bad hair day or someone spiked the pumpkin juice'" said harry.

Hermione said nothing and silently fumed, but admitted to herself that they had a point.
Later on, the three of them flipping through the book come across a page which unlike the other pages had writing which someone recognised.

"Are you lot up to mischeif again?" said an resonate voice. "Hello Harry".
"Hello Myrtle" said harry.
Ron sniggered under his breath, and Hermione give a sigh.
"Why dont you come to visit me anymore? I would think after all the help I've given you, you might feel obliged to come see me more often.
But I havent been all alone, I've got someone I'd like you to meet. Harry this is Anita, she drowned in the lake and we just now bumped into each other."
"Hi, H-Harry." anita said blushing
"Um yeah, hi."said harry reluctently as Ron bursts into giggles and Hermione elbows him.

Hermione all of a sudden short tempered, snaps "Look Myrtle we're busy, could you and your friend find something else to do."
Myrtle puffs up going blue and screams, "Why should I leave, I was the one who died in here."
Before Myrtle could continue her tirade Harry cuts her off. "Myrtle, Hermione didn't mean to be rude but we are kind of busy. Now you have a friend, maybe you two could go do something."

She softens, "Well maybe we could go see if any of the other male prefects are washing. You remember Harry when we were in the prefects bathroom together, don't you?" blushing profusly.

Ron practicaly exploded with laughter, and Hermione spluttered indignantly, "You whaaaattttttt?! You and her were in the bath together!!"
"It was not like that." proclaimed harry
Myrtle grinned in satisfaction at hermione's outburst, then Anita glancing at the book recognised some of the runes on the page.
"Hey, I know those. It says
'All mortals beware,
those who wish thy will, be done
must first ask what web will be spun,
for each action taken a recourse has begun,
eye's that cannot see will be needed by three's,
root one to the spot of wormwood and rot.....'

"Of course, Aramaic Runes, why didn't I see it before!" said hermione recovering her composure. "And these are the ingredience we'll need."
Snatching the book off harry she read more mumbling to herself.

Harry and ron exchanged looks of confusion then shrugged. Mean-while myrtle and anita were whispering to each other, let out a few giggles, pronounced they were off to make their own fun and left.

All reply's would be apreciated, even if it's a critisism.
Thanx :flowersmile:

I am no mortal. I am an evil ff dare! FEAR ME! *evil pose* It's good. Don't freak out or quit.

Thanx Zy, and I d-do f-fear you. :unsure:
Don't worry I won't quit untill at least the dare is completed.

How come no one wants to post? I wont bite, I promise!

In a spare classroom while Hermione was preparing some of the ingredience and talking absently to herself, Ron and Harry were contemplating what they would do first.

"I think we should start with turning malfoy into a ferret or something," says ron.
"No, that's already been done," harry replys
"Right, well you come up with something then."

At that point Hermione drifts in and out with her nonsenceicall jibberish. "If I combine the poly...... and use the sirum........ to facilitate transmogrification and the....... VWALLA!"
"What are you going on about Hermione?"asked the one or the other.
"It's finished, thats what I'm going on about."
"Well why didn't you just say that, honestly you would think that even you would get tired of listening to yourself once in awhile."ron said rolling his eyes.
Hermione continuing on as if he said nothing. "Ok, we have everything we need. But there is one thing, the poultice needs to be applied on the users bare skin."
"Which means what?"
"We will have to strip down and rub it in from head to toe." Don't ask me why, thats just the way it's done.
"We can use those three closets over there."

And with that she shoved a jar full of goo into their hands, strode off to the far closet and climbed in. Leaving harry and ron utterly bewildered. After a few seconds they did the same as she.
Once they were all in, hermione called,
"Now look in the mirror if you have applied it correctly after you should see a greenish shine in your eyes that only you can see."
"But- isn't that a little erm... stupid? I mean, we ARE in the closet Hermione." said harry.
"Oh...well I can't think of everthing can I!" snapped hermione. "If you get dressed, theres a mirror in my bag."

Minutes later they went off to class, eager to have their will be done on some unsuspecting, but well deserving, canidate.


Harry already late and was the last through the door, then the first to fall flat on his face.
"Hey, how about you get your stupid.......", he looked up and discovered to his horror that professor Snape was picking himself up off the floor in front of him.
"POTTER, you imbesile not only do you arrive late but your so stupid you don't even look where your walking, or did you think it would be funny to knock a professor down. Well you are sorely mistaken if you think you can get away with that, is it that you ego is so swollen you think you can do as you please."
Harry burned inside with fury at the shock of hitting the ground and then being isulted. He turned away so as not to attack Snape, but instead was facing Draco who was not even attempting to disguise his joy and was clutching Goyle so he wouldn't fall over with histerics.
Snape still in his own state of rage, grabed Harry and all but dragged him into the staff room.

"80 point from Griffindor, and you will attend detention every evening for two weeks. Now, I'm sending you to Filtch, you are to tell him who sent you and why. LEAVE!" And with that Snape strode out of the room.

After Harry had finnished listening to Filtch tell him how if he had his way Harry would be spending time in an Iron Maiden (like a cupboard with lots of spikes, very ouch!).
Harry trudged off to detention and had completely forgotten about having his will be done. As soon as he got there Snape through an apron and toothbrush at him with a smile, and said, "You are to scrub clean that mess Mr Longbottom left in front of my desk."

Harry was surprised that it was as simple as that, even though he noticed there were no gloves and that the mess Nevile had left was his entire cauldron of potion which was most likely to be wrong and therefore have it's own side effects.
He had only just put on the apron which was frilly with big purple flowers when.......Malfoy, Crab, Goyle and three other Slytherins walked in.

"What are you doing here?" harry demanded.
"Professor Snape inivted me to observe him brewing a quite unique potion, but oh, I didn't realise you had become the Hogwarts janitor. Later you could come clean out my fire place it's could do with a clean." said malfoy ginning smuggly
Pansy brushed past Draco to comment, "Ooh don't we feel pretty in our ruffled, purple apron. He does look the part though dosen't he."
"Just one thing missing," and with Harry frozen in his horror, Draco drew his wand.......

*points finger accusingly* You DARE to leave someone as evil as I am, on a cliffhanger!? DIE! DIE! *jumps up and down in rage*

Sorry had to go and it was a good a time as any to stop. Besides, I wasn't sure if anyone was still reading it. But I spose you are sort of oblidged to read it cause it was your dare that started it.
Now where was I.......ok.

Draco drew his wand, pointed it at Harry and with a zap, a feather duster was magicked into Harry's hand. The group of slytherins collapsed onto the floor in fits of laughter so hard they were all crying. Barely able to see, a few of them looked up and Harry, unable to control the duster was going back and forth dusting everything in sight.
Some of the onlookers were in hysteric's so bad they couldn't breathe.

Harry couldn't stop dusting, swung this way and that, he was dragged along as the duster swepped over the paralized people, which caused more fits. Finally, Harry reached the wand in his pocket tapped the duster and it disapeared.

Snape who had been unnoticed at the door walked in, "Potter what are you doing? If you wish to play around you can stay here all night and clean. Now get to work!"
Harry was tempted to refuse but was left with little choice.
"Professor," said Draco as soon as he had recovered, "If Harry wont co-operate I know just the spell to change he attitude." Beaming with malicious intent.
"No, thats not necessary." said harry quickly and begun scrubbing the floor with the toothbrush.

"Fine, Draco if you come over here we'll get started on the ingredience."
Malfoy followed Snape over to the desk while the rest of his crew left, muttering and giggling.
Snape was openning the pots, jars and vials spread out over his desk.

As Harry was stewing in his own rage, a clear and perfect thought popped into his head. He must find a way to humiliate Malfoy and the only way to do that is if he could show Draco's inermost thoughts.
Just as the thought apeared so did something else...............
A thought bubble which had bloomed above Draco's head :arg: , in it contained words, they said. "This is stupid who cares if Trelawney has a crush on the professor, why is it so important we brew this Anti-love, Forgetfulness potion. I spose I could use it on pansy, oh god that one has a face not even an ogre could like. But I wish instead we could be doing a Love potion, for Hermione,"

Snape, seeing what was going on, grabed four of the different types of ingredience, and believing he might be under the same spell, put them all in his mouth and started chewing furiously.

Back in the bubble: "Maybe the professor could finaly use a love potion of his own, on........."
Snape, realising his mistake, crammed the same ingredience into Draco's mouth, thereby breaking off his train of thought. But in Harry's mind the seeds had been planted.

Snape oblivious to the idea that Harry might have something to do with this, for a change, ordered Harry to leave so he could work out exactly what happened.
"And I will expect you here tomorrow 7:00 sharp."
With that, Harry skidadled out of there, unsure what to do now. He made his way to find Ron, but what to tell him?

"Hey Ron you'll never guess what happened in detention.............."

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!

very good, please keep posting, you're soo talented!

Yay, Lotus! Nice work. These ff dares are so hard, but you've put together a really enjoyable story! I would have read and responded sooner, but I've not been on and then I didn't know the name... glad I found it!

WooHoo! People responded and now I wil PM you with your prize.
I got so excited to see comments. *Jumps up and down with joy*
Thank You!!

Probably post more tomorrow.

thanks, so when are you gonna update?

*falls over laughing* Ha ha ha!

This is the finnal part of the dare Zymurgy bestowed on me. At the conclusion I shall be free of Zy's evil spell.
Not to worry the story will not be ending quite so soon.

".....and thats when he kicked me out. I think it has something to do with that spell we cast." said harry as he finnished telling his story in a flurry of words.
But Ron, who had smuggled some pie out of the kitchens for Harry and himself was eating it as Harry told his story. And when he got to the part about Draco's wanting to make a love potion for Hermione, he swallowed the spoon along with the pie.
Harry who was so involved in the story to notice, finnaly looked up and saw Ron smacking the table and fidgeting.

"Ron are you ok, what is it?
Ron made the international sign for chokeing. Which is to say he stood up and smacked Harry up the back of the head. :smack:
"Ouch! oh, your chokeing!" with that he turned Ron around to perform the Hiemlich manover. And the spoon came flying out across the room and hit Pigwidgion (Ron's over excitable owl), which cause him to....well....get excited. Zooming around his cage, that was not entirely secure, he got out and began smashing into every maner of things until he wore himself out and fell on the table, exhausted and dazed.

Ron, irritated at being ignored by the author for so long, butts back in.
"DRACO....LIKES....HERMIONE!?! He- he-, he wants to make her a love potion!" Ron took several strides, Harry caught him by his robes, but Ron was ever so slowly dragging them both towards the door.

"RON! You can't just go.....wait, where are you going?" asked harry
"I'm going to tear Malfoy a new......"
"RON! You know the author wont allow you to say such naughty things."
"Right, sorry. Well I have some very stern words for him, when I find him."
"Look, Malfoy may not even know he said it, I mean thought it." With a puzzled glance from Ron, he clarified.
"Ok, well Snape's not the kind of person to talk so freely about his feelings, unless he had a few too many butter beers in him. So if thats the case he would not want to remind Draco of the fact that he had a crush of his own, would he?" Harry surpressed a fit of giggles, waiting for Ron to respond.

"Alright, no harsh words....for now. And besides if we use this information correctly we could pull off the prank of the decade, even beat Fred and George.

The End............for now.
Dare completed. I'm free of the spell!!! :sorcererdragon:
The original dare.
Zymurgy: GOOSE! (Because you're evil!)
Now... write a ff with the following things!
1) Harry must say, "But- isn't that a little erm... stupid? I mean, we ARE in the closet...."
2) Someone must say, "But I made it myself!"
3) Hermione must say, "Either I'm having a REALLY bad hairday, or somebody spiked the pumpkin juice."
4) Ron must swallow a spoon for a very good reason.
5) Snape must eat his potions ingrediants to prevent Draco from saying something.
*laughs insanely*

*cracks up* Congratulations!
P.S. Watch. Your. Back.
P.P.S. *evil pose*
P.P.P.S. *cackle*

E-E-EVIL! ^
No, you can't catch me i'm the Ginger bread man. :adminchase:

Aww... over so soon? Sad day! Anyway, great story... you're part of the dare ff elite now, with Zymurgy. I should do some scouting and figure out who else is in it. Then there can be a group name and badges and meetings with ice cream and... can I come too? I won't talk, I'll just scoop the ice cream and clap whenever you tell me to. It'll be fun, I swear!

Ok, thus I begins my next ff dare.

Dedicated to Zymurgy.
"You's be wicked and tricksy!"

Harry had decided not to tell Hermione about Draco's.......shall we say, interest in her. But he did tell her about all the rest.
Hermione's mouth hung open.

"Say something." urged harry.
"I...um....it..it actually worked? I can't believe it, I will have to look at that book a bit more. See if any of the other pages can be deciferred.
Have you got it on you?"
"Ah, no it's up in my room."
"Lets go!" she said turnning and striding of in the direction fo the common room.
"Hermione?"
"What?!"
"It's time for charms, we havn't got time to get it now."If I'm late again they will send me to McGonagall." said harry pleedingly.
"Oh fine, as soon as it's over we'll go get it." resigned hermione

The class was split up into pairs, but boys with boys and girls with girls.
Ron was with Harry and Hermione was with Parvati.
Ron spent most of his time watching Hermione giggle away in her conversation, to pay any attention to his charms, which left Harry fighting off a chair that had sprung to life.
Ron was now trying to eve's drop on the girls.

Hermione managed to say to Parvati, in between giggles, "I thought it was the most adorable thing i've ever seen. They looked so cute in those outfits. And do you see it when they did the pyrimid?"
Parvati was the colour of a tomato when she said, "Oh, male cheerleaders are the sexiest! Shame we don't have any here, I could really go for one."
"Yeah, me too. But didn't you see the notice board outside the Great hall, they are asking if anyone was interested in a unisex cheer squad for their house teams."

"You four!" called professor Flitwick to the distracted pairs, "You need to perfect this spell before the next class or I will deduct points from your final mark."

After class Hermione herded Ron and Harry back towards their rooms.
"Hermione, we have to practice charms for tomorrow. The book will have to wait." said harry
"What's your problem? It's just school..." she replied and continued herding them back to Gryffindor tower.

But halfway there Ron stopped short, and nearly tossed Hermione over his shoulder.
"I forgot, there was something I have to do." With that said, he bounded off in the other direction.
Hermione, about to call after him, sighed looking to Harry, who just shrugged and walked away.

An hour later Ron stepped through the portrait hole.

....... you know what I mean!

"Finally! Where did you go to?" asked harry as ron sat down in the chair next to the fireplace.
"I had to go see about something."
".........Well, what was it?"

Ron paused looking for a distraction. To his luck Hermione chose then to decend the stairs into the common room.
She had been up in the boys room going over the Harry's magical tome. He had been up there with her before, but was bored out of his brain by her endless chattering on things he knew nothing about.

"It's no good I can't work it out, it's like it wont let me understand. As soon as I get close to something, the symbols change." she sighed and plonked to the arm of ron's chair.
Ron shifted uncomfortably, and Harry remembered what they were discussing.
"Ok, Ron, where did you go?" he repeated his question. "Tell me!"
"Yes, Ron, tell us!" hermione chimed in.
"I went to practice."
"What practice?"
"eereedin" ron mumbled with his head down
"Huh?"
"Cheerleading." ron said with a wimper.

The stunned silence lasted about 4 seconds, before the author got bored and broke it by nudging Hermione off the chair.
She fell with a thump, then started to giggle quietly. She got gradually louder and louder, till everyone in the common room turned to look.

"Shhhh! I don't want everyone to know." said ron urgently
"They will find out soon enough, the next game isn't that far off. But why would you do it?" asked harry, since hermione was currently incapacitated.
"My mum thought I should participate more in school activities."
"But why.." he paused and glanced around, "cheerleading?"
"Ginny told her about it." he lied.

Hermione sobered up, and gave Ron a serious look.
"You do know, what you will have to do don't you? It's not just dancing and lifting, but singing too."
"What's that mean?!"
"Well I've heard you sing Ron. I think we might need some help..........you know who we need.
"No, I wont do it! It's too embaressing."

Harry was lost, looking from one to the other.
"Huh? What? Who are we talking about?"
"He is the only one who can help." said hermione
"Who? Who can help? Help how?" harry danced on his toes like a 5 year old, too impatient to wait for an answer.:bouncepea:


You lot will just have to wait to find out more.
Mwwaahaahaa!!

OH! You are evil and you shall be punished! No ice cream for you until you finish that cliffhanger.

Love it... you rock. Really funny... "The stunned silence lasted about 4 seconds, before the author got bored and broke it by nudging Hermione off the chair." You're into character abuse like me, I see.

I love the bubble idea. Wish Draco had finished that sentence about who Snape could brew the potion for(Hint, Hint).

Yes Cass, it's so fun to be cruel! Hahahaha..cough..cough.
Thanx for posting. :flowersmile:
OK, back to the story.

Hermione led Ron off to the only person who could help him. But Harry whinned so much, the Author made him go to his room.

"Hello, Harry's Wheezy and Miss Her- Her-......Minny." guessed who it is yet?.......It's Dobby!
"Um, right. Hi Dobby, but my name is...." ron started to say before he was cut off.
"Never mind that. Dobby we have some work to do and we need your help."
"I is always ready to help Harry's friend." said dobby
"We need you to teach Ron to sing."
"Hmm, Dobby is going to be trying his best, Her- Her-....." dobby was cut off also, how rude.
"It's ok Dobby if you just call me Minny." she said a little exasturbated.
"Very well, we start now Minny, you go." dobby said as he was pushing her knee's.

Minny. (ha, thats much easier to write. Though I still might call her Hermione sometimes.)
Minny thought a stroll around the grounds would be pleasant, so off she went.

She walked out the front doors and turned toward the lake. As she got close she realised there was someone swimming in the lake. It was Harry.

"Harry, I thought the Author told you to go to your room!" yelled Minny
"She did, but I snuck out. So don't tell her." he called back, but more quitely.
The Author's voice booms over, "Too late now, Harry march yourself upstairs this instant. And no pie for you!"

Harry picked up his stuff, then groaned and swore under his breath all the way up the front steps and out of sight.
Turning around Minny continued on her walk. She thought about lots of thing on her walk and was almost at Hagrids hut when she heard a noise and someone's voice.

"Pssssssst. You girrrl, over hhhhere."
The voice came from the edge of the trees. So Minny trotted over to see who it was.
Author note: Kid's this was not the best idea, but Hermione needs to be reckless once in a while.

A great big hairy leg emerged from behind the tree. Then 2,3,4, well a whole bunch of legs. And attatched to them was a body and a head, with lots of big black shinny eyes.
Frozen in fear Hermione felt her head swirling, then she collapsed.

Wizzzzz.(the sound of some time passing)

Her consciousness returning, she could feel herself swaying gently. And hands, under her knee's and behind her back. She opened her eyes and saw she was being carried, her head over this persons shoulder. Looking up, there was that huge spider following her.
She gave a strangled gasp, then tried to turn and run, but of course someone still had hold of her.
Once again her head was swirling, she managed to look up at the person carrying her. But all she could tell was they had a pale face and sunlight in their hair, before she passed out again.

Can you guess who it was? Go on give it a try.

Meanwhile. Harry trudged up another staircase. And was met head on by some dark slimey creature, which turned out to be Mr Snape.
"That's professor Snape to you missy." he said to the ceiling.
"What ever you say Snapeykins." the Author called down

"What's this?" snape said as he bent down to pick up somthing.
Harry used that as an opportunity to run, leaving wet footprints on the floor behind him.
Snape turned to go after him when the Author stepped in.
"Oh, no you don't. Let him go, or I'll turn you into a :turnip: turnip.

Snape tried to act cool as he walked off, but after a few steps he jogged all the way back to his office.
When he got there he sighed relief, then took a look at what he picked up.
"Hmmm, a book." he flipped through it.
"Danm I can't read it! Why didn't I study Runes? WHY!?"

Just then Peeves ducked out from under the desk, snatched the book and zoomed out the door.
"PEEVES! Gimme that back it's mine, you can't have it." snape stamped his foot and took off after peeves, yelling.
"Gimmeeeee!" >

*dies laughing* AHHH!

Dare completed.
This is what it was:

1) Harry must go swimming.
2) Aragog must arive.
3) Snape must say: "Why didn't I study runes? WHY!?"
4) Hermione must say, "What's your problem? It's just school..."
5) and Dobby must try to teach Ron to sing.

Ha, finaly finished it Zy.
And you did, what was it, three in the same time?