Thanks for the 'plug', Edge!

What bird? A ferret is a small weasel-like critter.

Great dare, Edge! Nice way to reveal the reason behind Snape & Harry's absences near the end... tag! Very funny!

For real???
I didn't know that a ferret is not a bird...
*cries*
Thanks for the info, evlpez!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ok, I don't care if that was on purpose or not - that was just too funny

Super funny, Edgebert! I like when the Pigs "gratify?" the thestrals... but what's FMD? Oh, and someone else did this dare, but they had someone "grafiti" the thestrals... which is entirely different. And that's why spelling is so important.

Anyway... MWA!

Why wasn't I in this one? *cries, but then realizes she's being a dummy head and stops*

yay! go you!
hahaha, i loved that ferret, it was very cool
<--- me

cool dare keep up the evil-ness

Lupin’s search for Lotus was put all in vain. He was feeling very confused and frustrated, mainly because he lost one of his clever experiment, or maybe because he felt something for Lotus. He nearly broke into tears, so Hermione and Ron tried to console him.
“There, there, Remus. We’ll help you find her.”
Ron said to Hermione, “Now, don’t go playing Harry’s part just because he’s not here!” He then asked Remus, “What does she look like, assuming that she’s a girl?”
“A girl?! Why…” Lupin looked at Alcide, who looked just as confused as he is. “yes she is. ‘She’ is Australian and got this obsession for wicked queens and underpants gnomes.”
A random light bulb suddenly lit up and Ron exclaimed, “I met ‘her’, during that time when I was wrongfully abducted by b2m.”
Hermione raised an eyebrow and twirled her hair, then said, “That alibi again. Would you stop telling lies? I guess that’s the reason why I don’t get attracted to you so much!”
“Fine! If you don’t believe me, maybe you will after you see this.” He brought out videotape from his pocket whilst Alcide brought in the room a random TV.
Hermione was puzzled with this whole scenario, so she asked how they got stuff like this.
Alcide replied, “Duh! I’m a Muggle too, you know, not just a werewolf. And haven’t you heard of this thing called the ‘internet’? ‘Tis pretty helpful, you know.”
“Guys, guys, could we just get on with this, or the author wouldn’t finish his story.”
“Right you are, Remus!” I said while sitting in a random chair and eating popcorn that popped from out of nowhere. The video played, and we find Ron on the screen.


ooc: More after a few short breaks.

Hey! I remember abducting Ronnikins!!! That was fun! Thanks for reminding me Edge!!! I'm gunna have fun tonight! *hint hint*

Toodles!

Hahahahahahaha!!! Good job EJ! PAMS!

Cool, EJ!

I just joined, check out my fic, The Characters Confuzzled

The Great and Terrible Zymurgy has read your fic and liked it. Deal.

Woot! Finally, the continuation of the previous bit is here!

ooc: This part is inspired by the great “Chris”… It contains lots of smilies and most of the characters here are non-HP. And I forgot to say thanks to all your wonderful replies. The abduction that I’m talking about is in my fifth story with CatDGame’s dare…

Ron: *is sleeping*
B2m: :hack:
Ron: What the? Where am I?
B2m: You’re in the forest, silly!
Ron: Why did you abduct me?
B2m: For no reason. I just want you to come with me.
Ron:
B2m: Uh-oh. Something wicked this way comes.
Hagrid: *wearing a strainer on his head and waving a spatula* Ahoy there, b2m and Ron!
Ron: Hagrid, what’s up with the costume?
Hagrid: Don’t I look pweety. :wub: *regains composure then whistled* Come here my preciousnezz…

-=Skrewts appeared, dressed in kilts and holding maracas=-
Ron: :whisle:
Zy: *sprang out from behind the bushes, pounces Hagrid*
B2m:
Ron:
Hagrid: *got up* Sheesh, Zy, don’t go scaring me like that!
Zy: Why are you trying to command my evil army? Why did you so blatantly ridiculed them? Why do I feel more for you than for Snape?
Hagrid: *looks at the author* Ask him.
Edge: :whisle:
Zy: :crack_whip:
Ron: Run Edge Run!
Edge: :adminchase:
Zy: I’ll be back later for you and your, I mean, my army, Hagrid. *blows a kiss and stalks Edge*
Hagrid: Well, best be off. And b2m, you can use one of my, or Zy’s, skrewts to travel to wherever your hearts desire.
B2m: :bouncy: Come on, Ron!
-=b2m and Ron rode on a skrewt and went to Australia.=-
random person: banana_wtf
Ron:
Lotus: That’s a llama! Welcome to Australia, mate! Crazy people live here.
Cass: *passes by* I just want to make an appearance, after not being here the last time. *runs out*
B2m: *hugs Lotus* Good to see you!
Lotus: *is hugged* Yesh… you too! How’s life treating you?
B2m: Super-busy. I had to delete my fic about Rastaban because of it. :/ I hope you take good care of Ron.
Ron: *le confoosed* You're leaving me here?
B2m: Sorry, can’t explain! *drops a penny* Take Philip!
Secretive_Phoenix: *lurks* Has anyone seen George?
Lotus:
Ron: Were you talking about my brother, or someone else? *le confoosed*
Secretive_Phoenix: Nope. My purple chicken. :sad:
Lotus: :petpet: Ask Cass. She just passed by.
Secretive_Phoenix: Sure! *runs after Cass*
Lotus: :whisle:
Ron:
Lotus:
Ron: :bouncy:

-=Lotus and Ron traveled around Australia on the llama. They stopped by the Sydney Opera House=-
random group: :music_band:
Ron: Cool! What’s your name?
random lead singer: We’re the *bus honks* *points somewhere* He's our manager, Hungry.
-=A dwarf made an appearance=-
Hungry:
MI: *appears holding a banner which states, “I :heart: Coldplay!”*
Ron:
Hungry: Duh! The name of the band is Coldplay!
Lotus:
MI: *screams, gasps, and dies*
Lotus: *revives MI* Get a hold yourself mate!
MI: *is alive, looks at Hungry* Noooo!!!
Ron:
MI: He’s gonna eat me! *throws socks to Hungry, runs out*
random group a.k.a. Coldplay: *follows MI*
Hungry: *dies because of the thrown socks*
Ron: *looks at Hungry* That looks like one big chunk of toffee!
Lotus: *slaps Ron* He’s a dwarf, you silly!
Ron: My, my! What a lovely piece of licorice!
Lotus: *casts a spell on Ron*
Ron: :zzz:
-=Lotus dragged Ron… to somewhere… like the next scene=-
Edge: *shouts* Hey Ya!
Ron: *wakes up*
Edge: Come on down! Join the party!
Ron: *follows Edge*
Lotus: *holding a tray* Glad you’re awake! I was getting worried that it wouldn’t come off. Want some? *offers cookies*
Ron: *gets some cookies* Thanks! Haven’t eaten for quite a while…
Edge: *goes to the middle of the room* Welcome, one and all, to my first Tubberware party, *points at some containers at the corner* If you happen to fancy some of the stuff, feel free to ask me for a discount!
-=People started perusing the containers. Lotus zigzagged her way through the crowd while giving drinks and cookies. Ron sat quietly in another corner, starring somewhere random=-
Edge: *wearing a floral-pink apron* What’s bothering you, Ron?
Ron: *stood up* Bother, bother, bother, bother, bother…
Edge:
Ron: *sat back down* I want to go home! :sad: To Hogwarts, that is!
Edge: *brought out a pair of ruby slippers* Try it on. Click the heels three times while saying, “There’s no place like home!”
-=Ron tried it and it worked, but not after he got side tracked to Kansas, where Dorothy tried getting back her slippers=-
Epilogue: The video received 4 stars from famous critics. Hermione finally believed Ron’s alibi. Remus and Alcide went on a quest to find Lotus. Coldplay and MI lived happily ever after, as well as Zy, Hagrid and the skrewts. As for Harry and Snape, I guess they’ll appear more on my next fic, along with Cass, o’course…


Medraut's dare:
1. Secretive_Phoenix must go on a search for her lost purple chicken named George
2. Hagrid must wear a strainer on his head and carry around a spatula which he uses to command his army of skrewts or flamingos
3. Some EEFFD member must fall in love with Hagrid and his army *cough* Zymurgy *cough*
4. The dwarf "Hungry" must make an appearance and a character in the fic must spaz out and be afraid "Hungry" is going to eat them
5. Someone (not Hungry) must start seeing people as candy
6. Edge must host a tubberware party (wearing a very feminine apron )to which Ron attends, Lotus must serve refreshments
Due date: 15th Feb.

Haha! Edgey you're so funny! Yes, life is super-busy for me...*sigh* Great job! You always make me laugh! teehee (see?)

Toodles with Noodles! :sorcerer:

great EJ

ROTFL

its really good
go you!

I like my random appearances. I also like the script format. i think I'm feeling a... inspirational moment coming on... Nevermind. It was a burp. LOL... wow. I crack myself up today.

*runs away*

Harry hopelessly tried to flatten his hair whilst looking at the mirror. He had received an invitation to “Professor Snape’s Annual St. Patrick’s Day Luau”. Actually, this was Professor Snape’s first time to throw a party. Who would ever imagine Snape hosting a party? I would, of course. Yes, that would be good times, good times.
Ron entered the dormitories, stood beside Harry and tried to fix his bow tie. “Say Harry, why are we going to Snape’s party?”
“I have a couple of reasons. One, we get free food! Two, most of the students are there, and it would be bad for my image if I didn’t mingle with my fans. And three, who would ever resist Snape?!”
Ron eyed me menacingly, I don’t know why, then he shrugged. “Mmmkay… You the boss, I’m just the humble sidekick.”
The two went down to the common room, and saw Hermione putting something on Neville’s shoulders.
“Gasp! ‘Mione, are those wings?”
“Faerie wings to be exact! Neville wanted to stand out amongst the crowd.”
“I feel pretty, pretty like a butterfly!” Neville said in a singsong manner, whilst running around in circles, trying to flap his wings.
Harry then interrupted. “Um… ‘tis not a Secret Fairy Convention we’re attending… It’s the St. Patrick’s Day Luau!”
“Whatever… well, follow me, my pretties!” and with that said, Neville flew out of the portrait hole, with Hermione right behind feeling oh-so-happy, and Harry and Ron, who both shook their heads and wished that they could’ve done the same thing.
As they walked out of the oak front doors and towards the grounds, a lovely sight greeted them. The area near the lake was enchanted to look like the beach. It seemed like even Professor Dumbledore did this feat himself, because we see the Headmaster trying to overcome a 50-feet wave, riding his skateboard. On the beach were hut-like kiosks, and because of the theme, they were adorned with shamrocks and were run by leprechauns.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville the faerie decided to go to the main tent were all the food was placed. On the way, they saw Professor Flitwick being prodded on by Professor McGonagall to dance with the newly cooked roasted pig which was doing the boogie. Flitwick promised that he would, but only if Professor McGonagall would kiss a tiki torch that was burning red hot. And so they shook hands, and after a few minutes, Madame Pomfrey rushed into the scene with stretchers, muttering something as March being the Fire Prevention Month whilst bringing the professor to the hospital wing for second-degree burns.
The students finally got the time to approach the food table after the incident. Neville picked up a plate and filled it with pineapples, pineapples and more pineapples. Oh, did I say pineapples? Anyways, Harry gave him an odd look and tried putting some barbecued pork into his plate. But Neville the faerie gave Harry a menacing look and puffed, “I’m on a diet. Buzz off!” And he flew on top of a coconut tree.
Meanwhile, Ron was frantically searching for a particular, or maybe a random delicacy. Hermione was getting dizzy by just looking at Ron’s raucous behavior, so she held him by his collar to stop, and then she inquired. “What are you so worried about?”
“The pies.” He sighed. “Who ate all the pies? There must be at least a groundhog pie here! Even if not, any kind of pie would do.”
He turned over a large punch bowl hoping there was some pies underneath, but there aren’t any, and the bowl fell on Mrs. Norris.
Hermione pointed out, “Why don’t you ask Snape? He threw this party, you know. He must’ve some kind of explanation.”
“Yeah. Speaking of the sexy angel, where is he?” Harry added. He got no answer, so he decided to look at a rock-shaped garbage can, but no Snape there, only a gooey Mrs. Norris.
After a few moments, our host finally arrived, wearing a rather gorgeous… tatatara-tada… green cross.
Sounds of disgust, awe and admiration were heard from the crowd. And in a blink of an eye, they went back to whatever they were doing, particularly frolicking on the beach.
“Yo Professor! Whaddup wit da get-up?”
“Now, now, Draco. Talk nicely. As you can see, I’m just trying to fit in with the occasion. I’m wearing green, because I don’t want anyone to pinch my delicate skin. My dress is shaped like a cross, be cause St. Patrick is a saint, you get the picture. And…” He pulled something from behind him, and put it around his waist. “I wouldn’t call it a luau if I didn’t get the opportunity to dance the hula now, would I? Oh, girls!!!”
He whistled and clapped his hands, as if he was calling somebody. And out came from a random hut, five EEFF darers. Cass lead the pack, who looked so stunning in her skirt, she could’ve stolen the show from Snape. There were also Zy, Kris and Emma, who were all desperately trying to cover their mouths with their hands, hoping no one could see them drool. Lastly, we have Lotus, wearing a bushranger’s hat and a gerbera on her ear, proudly representing Australia.
Out of nowhere, the theme song of “Lilo and Stitch” played, and the six people began swaying their hips. I might describe it a bit more, but I got lazy/busy watching, so just imagine it.
As others, *cough*especiallyme*cough* were watching the show, Harry suddenly hugged Ron. “There’s something about you that’s causing me to hug you. It’s like I don’t have a will of my own.” Ron replied, in a voice which is reminiscent Potter Puppet Pals, “I love you, Harry.”
Neville swooped down from the coconut tree wherein he was perched a while ago and yelled, “Slash! Slash!” I think he was trying to get Zy’s attention, but she was to busy doing her thing on the dance floor that she forgot to summon the Slash Monster. Neville tried to take matters in his own hand so he took his wand, pointed it to Harry and Ron, who have separated from each other, and Neville muttered Agadi Agudu.
Neville forgot that he was a faerie at that moment, and he also forgot that faeries who do harmful things to others would find that their plans wouldn’t work, but would backfire to them. So instead of Harry and Ron being hexed, the spell hit Neville back and he was blown up to the sky by a big rocket, which turned out to be an enormous fireworks. The crowd below watched in awe as the rocket blew up to pieces and produced different colors, and also sending Neville to a nearby cloud.
At last, the party ended, everyone was happy, Snape didn’t dare to drive because he was drunk. Furthermore, they forgot that Neville the faerie was still somewhere there up the sky.

Marcella_Riddle's dare:
The fic must include the lines:
"Who ate all the pies?"
"I feel pretty, pretty like a butterfly."
It must also include:
*Snape cross-dressing.
*Someone kissing an inanimate object.
*A charmed dancing item of food.
*A spell backfiring that has funny consequences
Due date: 23rd March.

Biochemkris's dare:
1) Snape throws a party- any occasion you want.
2) Someone must say, "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own."
3) Two characters hook up at the party- you choose.
4) The Evil Elite make an appearance at some point.
Due date: 20th March.

Teehee. Have I mentioned how evil you are? That was great! So evil in pink tights! Mwahahaa!

toodles with noodles,
b2m

p.s.- I've kidnapped my Ronnikins again!

Thanks, b2m. And you're so naughty!
I think I'll make another story about that... we'll see...
I'll be following what others might have done and post my MOAFF entry here. I didn't even think that it's verrrrry long!

One day…
Michael Jackson went to prison. No, no not because of his deeds, but because he had to. His number one fan, whose identity is withheld and wishes to be called Medraut, participated in an “I-will-defend-Michael-Jackson-with-my-whole-life-and-anyone-who-is-against-me-I-would-fight” fight, and Michael wants to thank her personally for her good deed.
As he entered the prison, he was greeted by multiple banners, including “We love you, Michael, but not our kids!” and “The longer you stay, the longer you stay.” Amazingly, no media was present, it seems that they opted to cover the Lotus-Lucius wedding. Any who, as he was being ushered towards Medraut’s cell, a very tall person with long, silver beard called upon him.
“Yoo-hoo! Jackie, is that you?” And Michael turned his head and screamed a little.
“Dumbo? What’re you doing here?” <span style='color:blue'>[Weird pet names, me thinks.]
“I’ve been caught drinking while driving. So, came here to join me?”
“Not this time, old pal. I’ve got some visiting to do.”
“Oh, goody. So, you can get me out?”
“Sure.” And with a wave of his hand and a pinch of his nose, the guards opened Dumbledore’s cell and ushered him out.
“Come on. We’ve got lot of ground to cover. How’s Grindy?” “Don’t you read Choco Frog Cards anymore? I defeated him once in a very gruesome battle of Gobstones, and ever since that, he retired and decided to open a club on top of Mt. Fuji.”
Michael shook his head and sighed, while Dumbledore continued, “Hey, want to visit Hogwarts?”
“Sure,” and they left, leaving Medraut who never got even a one-line speech.

The next day…
Dumbledore and Mr. Jackson arrive at Hogsmeade, and Michael’s eyes and mouth started to water. What could the reason be?
I looked from him to where his attention is. I knew it. The latest styles of robes and scarves are already out, but I think that’s not it. I then looked to the right, and found a big onion surrounded by something random. That would sure make eyes and mouth water but I doubt it. I still searched the entire place and spotted Dobby carrying a very big Parmesan cheese. I decided to ask him what it’s for but I was distracted by something and apparently, this is the REAL reason for Michael’s misbehavior.
Three persons, me thinks, were walking towards our direction, carrying a very large ring and singing, “We’re off to see the Wizard… The wonderful Wizard of Oz.” I was surprised as this trio moved closer, and recognized them as Harry, Ron and Hermione.
“Goodness, what happened to you three?” Dumbledore questioned.
Hermione moved forward and said boldly, “We are the Fellowship and we’re on our quest to rid this town of evil.” And she took out a sexy, but short sword from her scabbard.
“Calm down, dearest,” Michael said, and he turned his attention to the ring-bearer. “Hello Scar-boy. My, my, who’s your hairstylist?” He asked while examining Harry’s long hair.
“Unhand me, Sir Nose-a-lot. I’m ‘Sorry Rumble’, the Lord of the Onion rings.” And he swiped Michael’s hand away from his hair and pointed to the large onion. “There it is, Mount Doomonion! ‘Tally ho!”
And the three charged forward where the onion is, but was halted by Dobby, using the cheese as a barricade.
“Young misters and miss, thou shalt not pass! Face the wrath of Lord Sauerkraut and his trusted servant, ME!”
The cheese began to move and produced seven holes. Green gases were emitted from the six holes, and the largest and middle hole became the “Eye.” People from around began coughing and fainting as effects of the abominable smell. Then suddenly, a white horse appeared, and riding on it was a hooded figure wearing a sombrero and carrying maracas. The rider stepped down and began to hum. He then shake his maracas, bumped and grinded, and afterwards began to dance and sing.
“La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha, enchilada, blah, blah, blah;
“La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha, el burrito, el salsa!”
The one-eyed cheese let out a shrill sound and Dobby covered his eyes and muttered, “The horror!” The cheeses melted, so everybody took some nachos and began to eat.
‘Sorry Rumble’ approached the hooded rider and said, “Oh thank you, Vandalfart. That was a nice save.”
Vandalfart took down his sombrero and revealed his’ snakey eyes. “I guess I win the ‘Enticing Eyes’ award, now that the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy has ended.” He then shakes Harry’s hand, rode on the horse and set of to the sunset. Finally ‘Sorry Rumble’ placed the ring on top of the large onion, and a blinding, white light engulfed the premises.
After the dilemma, we find everybody changed back to normal, and we see Michael scratching his nose so hard it nearly fell.
Michael and Dumbledore then decided to visit the Three Broomsticks. As they walked toward the door, an announcement scroll called their attention. Dumbledore read it loud, so I can share it to you folks.
“Are you made to hog the mayor ship of Hogsmeade? Then enter at your own risk and sign-up as a candidate.
“For those who are not concerned, don’t you dare read this!!! Comprende? Good!”
Dumbledore sighed and said, “If only I’m not the Headmaster, I would join this shindig.”
“Well, I’m not! So, I’ll accept this dare.” Michael then went inside, with Dumbledore behind, looking puzzled.
“Uh, can you? Number one, you’re not a wizard and number two, you don’t live here.”
“Neither does she.” And he pointed at Cassirin, who was looking quite maleficent. He then added, “Besides, I can be magical if you want me to.” [The author doesn’t want to know.]
They approached the registration table to find out that Snape was the head of the election committee. After sipping some coffee, he looked at them coldly and said, ”Who dares to enter the dragon… er, I mean… to run for the race?”
The author entered the scene carrying a sack and exclaimed, “A race? Where? Is it a sack race? Count me in!” And he put the sack on his head.
MI suddenly passed by and poked the author with a stick. She then ran out after doing the deed. The author removed the sack and exclaimed, “Who did that? I’m not dead yet! Gah!” And he decided to search for the culprit.
Michael approached Snape in a slashy-forbidden manner and muttered, “I do, you greasy git.” Snape suddenly spewed liquid from his mouth, which traveled all the way to Zonko’s Joke Shop. He then eyed Michael menacingly and said, “Back off, you slashy-forbidden fiend! I’m secretly married; to someone so secret I don’t even know who that secret person is. But anyway,” he wrote Michael’s name on the parchment and they shook hands, “you’re now a candidate. No need to fill up forms. Congrats!”
A man wearing a turban on top of his hooded face approached them and commented. “That’s why we don’t get good leaders. Because of people like you, and maybe those who elected that uber-person. Anyways, why are you drinking coffee? Don’t you know that it has caffeine and causes nervousness and insomnia?”
“Well, well, someone decided to be Mr. Know-it-all!!! And, excuse me… It’s a known fact that coffee decreases the risk of diabetes. And don’t you have some terrorizing to do?”
“I know, I know, but I must follow the requirements, so, I guess I’ll be off.” He went out and flew off on a magic carpet.
Dumbledore approached Michael after all of this shenanigans and congratulated him. Michael then asked Dumbledore, “Do you think I could stay for awhile in your castle, for old time’s sake?”
“Oh, sure. But I’m afraid that the staff dormitory has no vacancy, especially since Firenze redecorated that area and put up a garden. But you can stay in any dormitory that you want, provided that the sorting hat picked it for you.
“Okay, then, I can’t wait!” And they headed up to Hogwarts.</span>

That night…
We find them at the Headmaster’s office while Dumbledore was placing the Sorting Hat on top of Michael’s head. The tear near its brim opened and gave out the most horrible sound ever before it broke into a song:
“This person I refuse to choose,
a house where he can go and peruse,
I’m afraid his mind is too polluted,
but what can I do, a wish must be granted.
The Slytherin house is not for you,
‘cause they don’t need your money,
Neither does Hufflepuff, who’s known to pick
the general crowd, refuses your company.
The Ravenclaw bunch, denies your entrance,
to their humble abode, of smartness and intelligence,
Without a doubt, there’s only one left,
I hope they’re brave enough, and they can accept.”
GRYFFINDOR!
And when Dumbledore removed the hat, he noticed that it was wet. “Hmmm… It seems that old Sortie cried. That’s odd!”
Michael jumped up and down, and moved it all around, and exclaimed, “I’m going to Gryffindor! I’m going to Gryffindor! But where is that? In Norway or something?
“Silly you. Come on, follow me!”
And Dumbledore led Michael to the Fat Lady who was confused of the whole situation. When Dumbledore said the password, the Fat Lady had no choice but to let Michael in, too.
As they enter, they spotted the Famous trio hanging out near the fire. Dumbledore said, “Hem, Hem.” And the trio looks up, especially Hermione, who looked like someone splashed cold water to her.
“My dear students, you have a visitor. His name is Michael Jackson and he’s temporarily sorted to your House. I accept all of you to respect and accept him, ‘cause he’s a dear friend. That’s all.” And after patting Michael and waving at the students, Dumbledore left.
“Oh my God!!!” Screams were heard from the girls’ dormitories as Angelina, Alicia, and Katie went down, carrying a quill and parchment, and jumping like mad misses. “Can we have your autograph? We’re your number one fans.”
Michael obliged and then Angelina asked him, “Can I have a kiss? But can you please lower your face. I maybe tall but unfortunately I have a large head and a very small neck.”
“Sure dear. But careful with the nose.” And she did, and afterwards was followed by Katie and Alicia. After the small session, the three Quidditch chasers left, quivering, shrieking and fake fainting.
Michael motioned to join Harry and Ron, but they looked at him piercingly and they were hiding something, so he had no choice but to join Hermione. He sat beside her, and noticed the incredible amount of books and parchments lying on the table. He looked at her, made a discontented sound, before finally asking, “What’s bothering you, my dear?”
Hermione eyed Michael very menacingly, it’s like she’s going to use ‘heat vision’ to burn him. Then she exploded, “Would you leave me alone!!! My hands are currently full and I don’t need to feed another mouth!!!”
“Huh? What are you talking about, sweetie?”
“You and your codswallopness, that’s what. I leave you for one minute and then, you run off with someone. Imagine that.”
Michael wasn’t able to take it anymore, so he slapped Hermione. Hermione’s eyes went back to focus and then shook his head.
“What happened?! Oh my gosh! Michael Jackson in here, right now. I can’t believe this!” Hermione grabbed a quill and parchment and asked and autograph from Michael, who looks confuzzled.
“Didn’t you know what happened?” he asked.
“Um… no. And why are my cheeks hurting?”
Michael realized that she was getting delirious because of the heavy workload and maybe stress. He replied, “I’m sorry but I kinda slapped you because,” he lingered for a while and continued, “you had a spider on your face.”
“Spider?!?! Where?!?!” It was Ron, and he jumped on top of a chair and a crunching sound was heard.
“Ronald Weasley!!!” Harry exclaimed. “Look at what you’ve done?” He motioned Ron to get off the chair and picked up a bag. “You know too well she doesn’t like crushed Skittles!”
Ron huffed and replied, “Neither did she liked that grass-stained shirt you made her wear!”
“Oh yeah? Well how about that time when you made her a wig of Milicent Bulstrode’s hair. That was the worst!”
“Ooh…” Ron’s face was already red, and so was Harry’s. They both shouted, “Dobby!” and afterwards the house-elf arrived, and amazingly, is still carrying a big ball of cheese.
I asked, “Wasn’t that supposed to be melted?” And Michael nodded for approval.
“Young storyteller, I’m afraid that you were talking about the bad cheese. Now, this is the good cheese and the ugly one is with Winky.” Then he turned to Harry and Ron and asked, “What is it this time, misters?”
They said in unison, “Take Barbarella and hide her. Don’t ever let that,” they pointed at each other, “person see her ever again.”
“As you wishes.” And Dobby picked the ‘Barbie Doll’ that was sitting in a custom-made chair, and then he left. Harry and Ron harrumphed at each other and stormed up to the dormitories, while Hermione fell face first on her pile of books and started to snore.
Suddenly, Sirius’ head popped out of the fireplace, and he had a sock up by his mouth. Michael was surprised by this, but didn’t think twice and removed the sock.
Sirius said, “Who are you? But anyways, where’s Harry?”
“I think he’s already sleeping.”
“For real? Well then I guess I’ll just do it for you.” He cleared his throat and sang:
“And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we've got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest?
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best.”
Michael applauded whilst Sirius said, “Thank you! You’re too kind.” And he popped out.
Michael decided to tell Dumbledore what happened, but I released some pixie dust, and he fell asleep.

The next day…
Michael was awakened by some screams. As he opened his eyes, he saw Hermione ranting while looking out the window.
“What’s the problem?” he asked.
“Look… there!” And he did. He saw a huge tent pitched on the grounds, and there were also lots of animals and stalls. “I didn’t know they’d come now! Gah!!!” And Hermione messed up her hair and nearly began to weep.
“Well, that’s good… isn’t it? There’s a fair outside.”
“Oh yeah? Well lucky you, you don’t have anything to worry about. But look at me!” And he did. Hermione is looking very… odd. She got lines on her forehead, she smells like she rolled in the mud, and Michael spotted some grayness on her bushy hair.
“My, my! What’re you doing with your life, dear? I say, ease up a bit and let’s go see what’s going on below!”
“Ohh! You never understand a word I just said. “ And Hermione set off, I think towards the library.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Girls. No wonder...” And he decided to find what’s really going on.
As he was about to go out of the front door, a young man with the same long, unruly hair halted him. That young man brought out a lei and put it on Michael. He then sang:
“It's the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life.”
“Bravo, bravo! You’re the same guy as last night, right?” I wonder why you’re here and what’s up with this lei?”
“Yes, yes, I am. I’m here to look after my godchild, Harry. You know him? I was tipped by someone that Lordy Voldy is here, so I signed up for the Welcoming Committee.”
“Yeah, I do. Well that’s good. See you around.”
And Michael walked up to where everyone is, but he was still confused on the goings on, so he asked the author.
I replied, “I don’t really know, too. I can’t think of any event so I just made-up this very random fair.”
Michael understood and tried to pat me in the shoulder, but I ran away, just in case Slashy appears and bops our heads.
Michael perused from one kiosk to another, which were mainly supervised by Hogwarts’ students and staff. He stumbled upon Harry’s kiosk, which bears the sign “Dolls ‘R Us.” Ron also had a kiosk next to Harry, with the sign “It’s Dolls ‘R Mine!” Harry looked at Ron then to his’ sign, then to his own sign. He took out his wand and pointed at his own sign. The letters changed to “Don’t Trust the one on my left.” Ron changed his sign too. It now reads “Liar, liar, Plants for Hire.”
Harry redid his sign. “It’s Pants on Fire.”
Ron did that too. “You Would Know… Liar!”
Harry looked Ron straight in the eye, while Ron wears a smudged face.
“Why you?!?!” Harry began to charge at Ron. Luckily, a hooded figure wearing a pirate’s hat approached them and interfered. “I shall approve to no fighting, this fair promotes camaraderie and I believe you haven’t followed that.”
He glared at Harry and Ron, and then from out of nowhere, Sirius arrived with his wand out.
“What’s this? Lordy Voldy, what’re you going to do!” Sirius was ready to strike but Harry stopped him.
“Don’t, Godfather. He didn’t try to kill me. He just stopped me and Ron from fighting.”
“Hmm, that’s better.” Sirius the faced Michael and began to sing:
“It means no worries, for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!”
Michael responded with a moonwalk and his rendition of “Thriller.” But the others, including the author, were too busy with random stuff that Michael felt ignored and just walked away. He walked upon a small stable with the sign “DE Rules.” As he went inside, he saw more hooded figures tending to the horses, and he noticed one particular stable where a lot of people were gathered. He tried to find out what was all the commotion. But before he could, the stable opened and out comes the pinkest pony you could ever imagine… with Snape as its rider. A boy with perfectly gelled hair was ranting to a tall hooded person, which obviously is his father.
The boy cried, “I want to ride the pony, Father. Pwease!”
“Now, now, Draco, play nicely. You know that Snape has made a bargain with us. He’ll put a stop to our bad reputation if we let him ride the pony.”
“But I wanna!” And Draco ran after Snape and the pony, with Lucius not very far behind. Michael thought to himself, “I want the election day to come. Maybe right now…” And so it did.

The Election Day…
Michael was very pumped up while he entered the Gryffindor Common Room. To his surprise, people there waited for him and wished him luck.
A random person would give something to Michael as a sign of support. After some time, someone old looking approached him, and he was dumbfounded.
“Uh, aren’t you too old to be a Gryffindor, ma’am?”
“No, she isn’t. She’s Hermione, and she only looks old because of the wrinkles and gray hair. But she’s still…” And Hermione poked Ron and said, “It’s impolite to tell a woman’s age.”
Ron replied, “As you wish, Grey-mione.”
Ron ran away and Hermione followed him. It seems that there wasn’t really any problems with her body, her face just matured.
Anyways, Dumbledore came in and took Michael to Hogsmeade. The students followed because they wanted to, so what can Dumbledore do? They came upon a stage built in the middle of the High Street, where the other candidates are all waiting. When Michael approached them, Snape exclaimed, “Why are you very late? We’re supposed to start 2 hours ago! Never mind!” He took out his wand and pointed it to his nose… err… I mean, throat and muttered, Sonorus. He then said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever election for Mayor of Hogsmeade. I want to tell everyone that voting is open to all, even babies. But first, you must all meet the candidates to decide the winner.
First to walk, more like float, on stage is Professor Binns. He talked and talked but no one seems to listen, so he just floated away. Next up was Sirius, who sang “In the Mighty Jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight,” and after his performance, Harry shouted, “Sirius is my man!!” <span style='color:blue'>[‘Tis not Slashy-forbidden. I promise.] Next up was Lordy Voldy who made a litany about being good. I personally don’t believe him, especially with his hat that has the description, “Once a thief, always a thief.”
Cassirin then went up and a group of people was cheering for her. As I looked, I saw Lotus and Zy holding up a banner and shouting, “Go, Maleficent!” Cass began to make her speech, “Magandang umaga. Ako si Cassirin Louise Douhickey, ay nag-uutos sa inyong lahat na iboto ako bilang Alkalde ng Hogsmeade. Ngayon, sumayaw kayong lahat ng ‘Otso, Otso’!”
She brought out her wand and waved it at the crowd, She then began to sing:
“Tayo’y mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!
Mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!!!”
The crowd really liked her and danced to her song. Suddenly, gnomes with parachute fell from the sky and nearly scared the whole crowd. Luckily, Flitwick, who was wearing a banana-muffin costume that the author picked himself, ran up to the stage and said, “No, no, no! you were all supposed to parachute down Hagatña, not Hogsmeade! Where’s Gnarvin?” And a gnome with a big head, he must be the ‘head’ gnome or something, approached him. “We’re sorry, King Gnitwit, Gnoel lost the map and Gnelson said that this is the place, so…”
“Ano ito? Flitwick, bakit ka nandito?!” Cassirin said while removing a gnome in her cape. “Alis!!!” She then ordered everyone to degnome the whole place, and she personally took Flitwick away.
Finally, Michael Jackson went up the stage. He made a speech about many things and the crowd sucked it all up. They also thought that he would do best, considering that he’s a Muggle. So they voted for him unanimously.
Michael searched for Snape to thank him for his help. He found Snape hiding in a corner drinking coffee and munching on jelly doughnuts. He thought that this wasn’t right so he banned these foods at Hogsmeade.
After a few days, we find Michael in his new office. He was playing with a random thing when the door burst open suddenly. Two dementors in pink tights, we call them Bill and Bob, went in. Since we know that they can’t speak… or do they… they we’re holding up a placard and it reads, “Why did you ban coffee and jelly doughnuts? Now we’re out of stock and forced to eat these!” They took out biscuits and milk and threw it at random places, and they moved closer to the desk, but because they don’t have eyes… or do they… they didn’t realize that Michael fled and decided to, finally, visit Medraut.
And as story ends, Harry approached me and said, “Why am I not present in the whole story? I’m supposed to be famous!” He decided to throw a tantrum but I ignored him and locked this topic.</span>

hello, writer of the longest MOAFFD, i am the wirter of the shortest! Anyway, keep up the brilliant storytelling. i just have one question for you - did Flitwick dance with the roasted pig at snapey's Luau?

Oh how I laughed!
Shame on you....it's 1:30am and I might have woken the house for the laughing I did!
Hahaha I was spot on there.

W00T for the Hula! And I'll have you know I look pretty darn good in hats, especially Acubra's. (bushranger hats)

Anyway, Just a note to say how much I cracked up on reading all that I missed.
You evil boy.....look I'm all cracked and broken now.
Hehe you'll pay, oh you'll pay.

Edge- your evilness rocks my world!

Thank you, your Evilnesseses!
I'm very sorry that i can't write anything as of the moment... My computer at home is broken...
So I have to limit myself to this free internet access in our mall, but I have to stand the whole time! :o
That's it... but I'll still be writing...

HA!
I told you, Otus.
I am a great stalker!