Edge - EEFFD Dare... To Be Different - Sa13+
 

Hello, all… This is my first fanfic… Hope ya’ll enjoy it…

Harry and Hermione spent their last days of summer in the Burrow. Before returning to Hogwarts, they had to visit Diagon Alley to buy supplies. As usual, their means of transportation is the Floo Powder. Harry was not taken to the idea and suggested that they get there by riding on Cassirins' chickens.
"Oh no, not them," said Ron. "Remember last time, I don't want to feel the Almighty Cassirin's wrath once again." He went to a corner, sat down and looked terrified.
Harry still didn't want to travel by Floo Powder. Finally, after a lot of convincing, which involved Fred and George pulling down Harry's pants and Hermione pulling down Ron's pants (for no reason), they gathered by the fireplace.
Harry was about to get some Floo powder when Mrs. Weasley stopped him and produced a begging hand.
"Wha...?" Harry said.
"One galleon, please," Mrs. Weasley said matter-of-factly.
"Wha...?" Harry said.
"Floo powder is becoming very expensive now. Either pay or stay here..."
"Wha...?" Harry said while taking out a galleon from his pocket.
Mrs. Weasley snatched it from him and said, "Thank you. Have a nice day."
Harry finally got some powder. He was about to step inside the fireplace when a person suddenly appeared in it.
"Hey, where am I?" the person asked.
"You're in the Burrow," said Ron.
"Oh really??? Well, I thought this was Sbarro. Oh, anyways. I'm Another_Weasley... Nice meeting ya'll. And sorry." After that, he disappeared.
The children stared at Mrs. Weasley. Finally, George asked, "We have a sister named 'Another'?"
Mrs. Weasley was shocked. "I don't know. Maybe she's from America or something..." she said stuttering.

--------------------

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley finally reached Diagon Alley. Fred and George just apparated because they said they still have to do something (which is researching about 'Another_Weasley')...
As they entered the Leaky Cauldron, they noticed a bunch of people drinking. The odd thing is, you normally wouldn't see this group of people together and happy. A man with long purple robes, long beard, long fingers, and a long, pointed hat greeted them.
"Hello, my dear students. Want a firewhiskey, perhaps???"
A hooded man replied, "Now, now, Albus... You know children aren't allowed to drink."
"Well, Tom. You wouldn't really be allowed to say that. I remembered you when you were fifteen. I caught you and your gang in the Hog's Head. Now, what do you have to say for yourself, 'Lord You-Not-Who???"
"How dare you insult me? I'm the great Voldemort!"
Dumbledore replied, "If you were, and I mean 'were', so great, then how come little baby Harry defeated you."
A large man, who was sitting with them, gave a horrible, loud laugh. "Right yeh're, Professor." Afterwards, he gulped a giant barrel of firewhiskey and fell asleep right on the spot.
Tom replied, "Why you!!! Avada Kedavra..."
Dumbledore disapparated before the spell hit him, so the spell hit Pettigrew who was right behind Dumbledore.
"Wormtail, you're such an idiot..." Tom muttered before disapparating, too...

--------------------

"That was kinda odd," Ron told Harry after leaving Leaky Cauldron. "Ain't it, Hermione??" But she wasn't there.
"Now, where could she have gone?" Harry asked.
"I'll tell you!!!" It was Draco Malfoy... He jumped in front of them wearing... a 'Superman' costume!!!
Ginny said, with hands on her chin, eyes looking dreamily, "My hero!!!"
"What's wrong with you, Draco?" Harry asked, looking shocked but trying to suppress a laugh.
"Who's Draco? I'm Clark Kent a.k.a. Superman. But there's no time to loose. We must act now before something bad happen to her. Come on!!!"
He did a sort-of flying style with one hand up in the air before running.
They were frozen for a moment before Ron said something, "Who's this Superman???"
"Oh, he's a muggle superperson. But no time to explain, I think he really know something."
They followed him until they reached a garden. Draco said, "I'll call for back-up," and left. When they entered, they saw Hermione, sitting on a chair in the middle of the garden, and there was another guy with blond hair, who was wearing an Elvis' suit, and singing Elvis' songs.
"Wise men say, only fools rush in...
But I can't help falling in love with you...
Shall I stay, would it be a sin...
If I can't help falling in love with you..."
Harry and Ron approached Hermione. Ron said, "What's wrong with you?"
Hermione said, "Isn't he great?"
Harry replied, "Yeah... if you're 40 years old or something."
Draco returned with her mother dressed like 'Catwoman'. She shouted at the singing guy, "Lucius, what are you doing??? Get here this instant."
Lucius, the Elvis' suit guy, was still singing...
"Oh my love, my darling
I hunger for your touch
A long, lonely time...
"When time, goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you, still mine...."
Narcissa was already very mad so she took matters in her own hands. She went to Lucius, grabbed his' ear and pulled him away from Hermione and out of the garden. Draco then shouted, "The day is saved, thanks to Superman!!!" And he ran after them.
Hermione shooks a little, like she was waken up, then she asked, "Where am I?"
Ron replied, "You're in a garden, and Lucius Malfoy was serenading you..."
Hermione's face looked like she was going to vomit. "Really? Well, it's because I found out that Draco had a nervous breakdown and he did a spell that affected us both."
Harry said, "Glad you're OK... Now, let's go home before the craziness sinks in on us, too."
They found Mrs. Weasley and Ginny inside Flourish and Blotts carrying a lot of books. Ron put more stuff on top of the pile of books that his mom was carrying, and said, "Come on, Mom. Move quickly. Let's go home." That night, Ron received the best beating of his life...



BTW, This was inspired by Medraut’s dare…
>Lucius must serenade Hermione
>Narcissa must find out and get jealous
>Draco must have a mental breakdown and start insisting that HE IS superman (complete w/costume)
>The newest member (another_weasley) of the EEFFD must make an appearance
>And..... Hagrid must get VERY VERY drunk

Well done Edge!!!

I thught the serenading bbit was funny... *imagines Lucius as Elvis* :lol: :lol: :lol:

And NArcissa as Catwoman? Nice touch.... :flowersmile:

THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE ZYMURGY *thunder* WELCOMES YOU! Deal.

Deliciously evil.

^ This made me sad though.

:flowersmile: *sets exploding flower-bomb*

Welcome, Edge, as our first male member! Excellent story... well steeped in randomness and evilness. The beating of Ron also made me sad, but I figure the costumes and the de-panting of several key characters made up for it.

Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

funny! well i'm glad to see ron enjoys his beatings

lol that was hilarious!

Teehee!!! That was great Edge!!! Yay!!! Guess what I get to do? Sing a song!!!! here's my band V

:music_band:

a one...a two...a one two three four...

Welcome to the EEFFD Edge!
Luckily we wont make u recite a pledge!
Accept more dares please, I can't wait til you do!
Congratulations to YOU!!!
EDGE!!!

Tada!!! (okay..It didn't have all my usual evilness in it...but hey! I'v been doing a lot of rhyming lately!) Toodles!!! :sorcerer:

thanks, all for appreciating it...
:shifty: :shifty:
i'll be doing my next one in a coupla days so "hang ten"...

Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I like that you referred to my "wrath." It is well and good that I am feared. Carry on!

PAMS!!!!! it was :lol: :lol: :lol: :monkey: :monkey: :moon: :music: :upsidedown: :read: :read: :up: :up: ^_^ .

Glad to see y'all likey...
OOC: This is a continuation from my first story.

Harry woke up with a nasty feeling. Could it be his scar? He decided to run his fingers on his forehead and rested it on top of his scar.
"What's this? Why I can't feel my scar anymore?" he thought.
Suddenly Hermione entered the room. "Guys, get up. It's September 1, and we have to hurry or we'll miss the train. Har--," she stopped and forgot to close her mouth. "Have you tried looking at the mirror lately, Harry?"
With this, Harry stood up and went to the talking mirror. The mirror laughed hard which made Ron wake up.
"What the..?" Ron muttered. He looked at Harry, "What's wrong, mate?"
But before Harry could say something. Ron went into a fit of laughter, later being joined by Hermione. For Harry, famous for his scar, didn't notice that dirt accumulated in it, which made the scar, not only unnoticeable, but also looked ugly and disgusting.

Edge brilliant work. :sorcerer:
Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I could give you a bunch of fake excuses.....ah but who wants that anyway. :rolleyes:
Welcome! And I hope I can call on you to keep some of the unruley boys in line. >_< :D

hehe that was brilliant.... love the (for no reason) bit :)

good fic :P

:shifty: cool story! hello Evil Eliter Darer

WOW!
Very good ED! Cool! :flowersmile:

As they went down, Harry with a washcloth, rubbing it very hard on his forehead, Ginny, holding up her wand, ran upstairs and met them.
"Hello, wanna see the new spell that I learned?" she said.
"Not right now, Ginny. I'm busy," Harry replied.
"Well, I don't care." She pointed her wand at Harry and began to say, "Scratcha...", when Mrs. Weasley's voice echoed from below.
"All of you come down here this instant. If not, I won't let you eat anything and I'll just give it all to Snuckums... And Ginny, don't you dare use that 'Itchie Undies' hex to anyone!"
Ginny hastily obeyed her mother, who was instantly followed by Ron. As Harry and Hermione went down, they wondered who's Snuckums...
They found out as they entered the kitchen. A badly, shave poodle is being held by Mr. Weasley, who was trying to feed it. Then he exclaimed, "Isn't he beautiful? I found him on one of my raids, being mistreated by his Muggle owner. Oh, If only I don't like Muggles, I would (kettle whistles)."
Mrs. Weasley interrupted, "Who wants tea?"
After eating breakfast, which involved the poodle showing its dull tricks, they prepared their things and went outside.
Mr. Weasley announced, "We'll ride on the Knight Bus."
Ron said, "But we'll miss the train if we take it."
Mrs. Weasley replied, "Not to worry, m'dear. Everything's gonna be all right." With that she raised her right hand and a 'BANG' was heard...

The three-decked, purple bus appeared, and surprisingly, there were a dozen helium-filled balloons tied on the roof. Stan Shunpike went out, "Where to fellas? Oh 'ello, 'Arry!"
Mrs. Weasley replied, "To the King's Cross, please."
They climbed aboard whilst Stan, with the help of Mr. Weasley, loaded the trunks inside. The trio decided to sit on the top deck and was greeted by some pictures posted on the walls.
"Who's he?" Ron asked.
"Oh my God!!! It's Pauly Shore, but why's his picture here?"
Stan suddenly appeared and said, "I put 'is pictures 'ere. I'm a big fan, yeh know. Check this out..."
He got from his pockets some pieces of parchment, "These are my fan letters and his replies---" and an orb thingy, "---And this is a memorabilia of his best movie ever, 'Biodome...'" He told them, looking dreamily.
"Riiiight," Harry said, sarcastically.
They settled down on a seat, and when Ron looked out the window, he exclaimed, "We're flying!!!"
"Yes, that's what the balloons are for. Well, stay put, and don't try jumping out of the window," Stan said this while leaving.
"Yeah right," Harry mocked.
After what seemed like forever, they felt that the bus was becoming slower, so they went down.
"King's Cross!" Stan shouted, and he was wearing a dress, with matching wig, make-up and jewelries.
Hermione looked disgusted, then she asked, "Why are you dressed like that?” while she thought, "What an awful sight to see."
"Pauly Shore is in London today. And he asked me out for a date, because I told him I'm a girl," he said while giving out small squeals and jumping a little.
"Come on haven't got all day. And can you take care of your things. I don't want to break a nail and all."
As the group went down they took a final look at Stan, and laughed really, really hard.

They entered the barrier to Platform 9 3/4 with enough time to put their belongings in the luggage’s' compartment, and say good-bye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who disapparated afterwards.
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were about to board the train when three guys riding skateboards approached them.
"Hey dudes and dudettes!!! What's the dealie-o?" It was Malfoy.
Ron muttered to Harry, "But what about that time in the shower?"
Harry was puzzled and muttered back, "That made no sense!"
Hermione spoke, "So, still crazy Malfoy?"
"Who's Malfoy? The name is Hawk. Tony Hawk and this are my groupies (Crabbe and Goyle). Wanna see my wicked moves???"
He did a kick-flip ollie and nailed a 360° before wall-riding and doing a nollie.
Crabbe, Goyle and some others applauded. Even Hermione exclaimed, "That's amazing!" before getting dirty looks from Ron and Harry.
Ginny said. "That was awesome. You got yourself a reward."
"Righteous," Draco said. Afterwards, Ginny pointed her wand to Draco and enunciated, "Scratcharus Undus!"
Draco suddenly twitched and begun scratching his (train whistles). [The narrator was annoyed by the interruption. He had a quick word with the train engineer before continuing.] He said, "Oh, major problem... Diaper change... Later!" He then left with his groupies who where trying to support him, while everyone was howling with laughter and giving Ginny high fives and encouragements.
After all the trivialities, the train left the station. Ron and Hermione had to go to the Prefect's Compartment, so Ginny and Harry, who was very careful, not to do anything displeasing or even close to her, searched an empty compartment. They found one in the middle, not really empty, but with a boy wearing a big sombrero.
"Hola mis amigos!!! Como estas!!!" It was Neville.
Harry gaped at him and asked, "Is it really you, Neville?"
"Si, signor! Fui de vacaciones a Mexico.”
Ginny didn't understood a word that Neville said, [Neither did I] so she pointed her wand at him and said, "Scratcharus Undrus!"
Neville stood up, twitching and did the "Mexican Hat Dance." Ginny joined him and they danced 'till they can dance no more.

OOC: I'm not much of a skateboarder, so pardon my terms. *bows* And thanks to a friend who helped me with my Spanish. *gives her evil balloons as token of appreciation*

ComaDoll's dare:
-Story must include a major character learning the "itchy undies" hex and using it on another major character
-Someone has a secret addiction to Pauly Shore movies that is revealed.
-A male character wearing a muggle dress
-A member of the trio must say "but what about that time in the shower"
-Also these items should be mentioned: helium filled balloons, a skateboard, a sombrero, and a shaved poodle.
Due by Jan 1st.

dude this is long, but bloody good :lol: :lol: :shifty:

The Great Zymurgy would like to applaud your evilness! *applauds* She would also point out that she adored the train whistle as a way to reduse prophanity. (take a look Cool_L15! She can do it, you can!)

Edge. Edgey. Ed. Excellent dare. I didn't think it was long... I thought it was perfect. Good use of the train whistle, as Zy said. You are our first male member... that's a lot to live up to, but you are doing an excellent job.

I thought the Spanish (and Spanish-speaking Neville) were spot-on, and the skateboarding terms seemed all right to me. But why did Draco think he was Tony Hawk? And why was Harry's scar so nasty? Just my own questions... feel free to ignore me.

I appreciate the admirations of my supreme Evilnesses... *bows*

Draco thought he was Tony Hawk, like in my first FF when he thought he was Superman... He's always crazy, sorry if it upsets you...
And Harry's scar looks nasty because I just want it to look nasty, isn't it to much to ask for a guy like me to have fun sometimes??? *begins to mope, but looks happy in front of her*

I hope all was clear, and thanks again...
*exits facing backward, eyeing the chickens who are sharply looking at him*

No, I like continuity... so Draco having a personality disorder works for me :). Besides, it keeps him from being mean to everyone else. As for wanting Harry to be nasty... that's cool. Afterall, you are the daddy of this fic and you get final say. I was just curious about whether there was a REASON that happened that I missed somewhere.

Fearing me is nice... but you can also think I'm terrifically nice. You're in my next FIC!

Don't worry about the chickens... they are perfectly harmless. *notices a toe hanging from a beak* OH! Um... that's... rather disgusting *backs up* That belongs to... Snape.

*runs away*

OOC: Read my first stories for further understanding...

Amidst Ginny and Neville's dancing, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas entered their compartment.
"Cool, can we join?" Dean asked.
"Sure, but do you want some boost-up first?" Ginny was about to hex them when Harry looked at her very piercingly, it's as if Ginny's scar would hurt, so she stopped right away.
And so all of them, excluding Harry who was staring into nothingness, were dancing the Mexican Hat Dance. After sometime and when Ginny's curse finally wore off, Neville dropped to his knees and muttered, "Ay! Caramba!!" This prompted the others to stop too, and Ginny never dared to use her wand for any hex again...
After a few hours, the food trolley lady came by and asked, "Care to have a few bites, my dears?"
Seamus answered, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!!!" The lady was startled but did as she was told. [The narrator tried to stop them but he was relieved that it was on the forehead]. After getting food from her, the food trolley lady left, with a feeling that she's the queen of the world.
Hermione and Ron finally made an appearance in the story. Hermione suggested, "I think we should picket."
"Pick it? Pick what?" Harry replied. It seems like he returned back to the story.
"Oh, nothing. It's just that Hermione's getting tired of being a prefect. She just want some attention, is all..."
"I'm not!!!" Hermione told Ron. She then put her hand inside Ron's pocket and pulled out something.
"Ew... what's this..." She was holding a piece of round metal, but a very wet one... She decided to clean it on Ron's robes, and was surprised with the outcome...
"Aww, looky Ronny... It's your lucky penny..."
"Oh, no... Phillip..." Ron said, looking terrified. "Give it back, please..." He went down on his knees and started begging...
"Catch me if you can!!!"
And so Hermione ran out with Ron hot on her trails, trying to redeem his prized possession...

OOC: In "Fairly Odd Parents", Cosmo also had a nickel named Phillip... It could be some kind of connection, or not... Anyways, it was funny!!!


born2mugglz's dare:
*Seamus Finnigan must say and/or wear a shirt that says: "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!"
*Someone (A girl, please.) must do just that.
*(I know the whole strike thing is old, but oh well, I'm evil!!!) Someone must say, "I think we should picket."(<Picket as in signs...)
Someone replies, "Pick it? Pick what?"
*And Ron's penny Phillip must make an appearance (I luv tha guy...)
*Due on the 3rd of January

Hey!!! you caught it! Yup, yup! That's where I got the idea for Ron's new friend!!!! hehehe, btw, the dare was very evil!!! :sorcerer: :shifty:

The Great and Terrible Zymurgy has read your update. Deal.

Edge. Edgey. Ed. Nice work... and I like the continuity from one story to another. What I really like is that you WERE so inappropriate... people reaching into other people's pockets!? Shocking.

How in the world have you learned the fine art of short and sweet after only about 3 ffs? I'm massively jealous.

*bows*
Thanks for all the compliments... And Lady Cass, it's easy to make it short and sweet, no need to be jealous on your humble servant...
*bows*

That's cool that's very nice!

The train finally arrived at Hogsmeade. Instead of hearing the usual gruff voice of Hagrid, they heard a squeaky voice calling from afar.
"All students!!! Please report here, quickly!!!" Professor Flitwick called. Behind him are the other Hogwarts' professors, and surprisingly, Elite Evil FF Darers.
"What's going on here, Professor?” Harry asked, making the others equally puzzled.
"We're going on a camping trip as suggested to me by Zy. I couldn't refuse her Highness." Professor Dumbledore replied, while curtsying to Zy.
[Thunderclouds appeared and lightning struck a nearby tree.] "I'm the Great and Terrible Zymurgy. Deal." The other Elite Evil FF Darers bowed unto her. Then Lotus asked, "Explain to me again, why we are doing this?"
"Because I told you to. Deal"
Flitwick took a jump rope and began jumping, "Follow me!!!" They walked for a few minutes until they reached a clearing that was occupied by a quadruple-decked bus. "Climb aboard!!!" Flitwick ordered, after drinking coffee from his canteen.
Snape wondered, "How could we fit in such a small bus, all of us???"
"Oh, quit blubbering and come with me." Cassirin said and she tugged Snape with him.
Lotus replied, "Wait for me..." Zy followed. "Cass, leave some of him for me. Deal."
Others begin to ride on the bus. They were all crammed in it that some of them are sitting on another person's lap. [The narrator noticed that Jennifer_w and MusicGirl87 both wanted to sit on Draco's lap. The only problem is they can't, 'cause Ginny's hex on Draco hasn't come off yet.]
[The narrator whispered something to Flitwick and sneeringly switched Flitwick's coffee canteen with a bubble-filled canteen.]"All right, let's go." Flitwick sat on the custom-made driver seat and began to drive. After what seemed like forever, they reached their destination. They arrived on Mt. Makiling, located in the Philippines. "Due to Edge's request, he missed his hometown dearly, we'll be camping here." Flitwick then drank in his canteen and began coughing up [The narrator was ashamed that he didn't follow the requirement that he must blow it, but well, it's just the same] soap bubbles...
"I suggest you take a swim on one of the hot springs here to remove the soapiness on your throat." I was trying to suppress a laugh. Flitwick suddenly disapparated after heeding on my suggestion.
People started to get down, all feeling tired from the long ride. Draco exclaimed, after slapping his face, "Ewww... There are a lot of mosquitoes here... I don't want anything to bite my "handsome" [The narrator would like to stress out on the quotation marks] face..." Jen_w and MusicGirl87 suddenly surrounded him and said, altogether, "Don't worry, my love. I'll sacrifice mine for you." Then they looked at each other menacingly.
Cool_L511 said, "I'll take care of it..." She summoned a very big mosquito repellant and sprayed the entire place. After the smoke of the spray subsided, and everyone had stopped coughing, she then exclaimed while wearing big sunglasses that made her look like a fly, "In Memory of Rita Skeeter."
Dumbledore then waved his hand, and lots of tents and a huge bonfire suddenly appeared. He then said, "If anyone needs me, I'll be on my tent."
McGonagall suddenly splurted out, "Oh, yeah!!! I need you!!! Read this, right now!!!" She hands him a letter and noticed a flock of chickens passing by. "Ooh... goody... food." She changed into a cat and followed the chickens, which were all trying to run away.
Cass tried to run after McGonagall and tried to say, "Don't hurt my babies!!!" She then realized that her chickens were safe at home, so she went back to Snape.
Flitwick came, wrapped in a towel and doing the hula-hoop. "What's that, Headmaster?"
"Well, I was about to read it... Alone... 'Till you showed up... Oh well... Here goes..." He opened it and showed it to Flitwick, "Alas... Short and sweet..."
Flitwick looked at it and saw the word "EVIL" written so big that it occupied the whole sheet. "Hmm... Curious... Very curious... Ah, wait, you forgot to check the back."
"Your so smart, Flitwick!!! What would I do without you!!!" Dumbledore began to read...
Dear Evil Mr. Evil Dumbledore,
I'm Evilly pleased to Evilly inform Evil you that Evil I have Evil been Evilly accepted to Evilly Evil School of Evilly Evils.
Evil You may Evilly choose to Evilly bring an Evil new teacher Evilly because Evil I Evilly Resign.
Sincerely Evil,
McGonagall
Dumbledore, instead of feeling sad, was delighted. "Wow, this is the first time that someone gave me a love letter... I'll forever cherish it..."
He then left Flitwick, who got disorganized for a minute...

A small group of people, who includes the Narrator, B2M, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville, were sitting in a corner of the bonfire... B2M said, "I brought marshmallows... Who wants some???"
She put the marshmallows in sticks and gave it to each one of them. Ron asked, "What's this for?" And he began playing with it... "It's for eating, did you know?" Hermione replied.
"Oh, yeah?" The marshmallow fell down to the ground but Ron still picked it up and ate it. "Hmmm...yeah...'tis good."
They were all trying not to look disgusted as the three founders along with Snape approached them.
"What's with the ruckus? Deal."
"Nothing, your Evilness. We just had a funnily evil moment, is all."
"You four, git..." Snape said coldly to the students.
"Aw... Come on now, Snapey... They're harmful wittle children... Let it be," Lotus said.
"Yes, yes... You know what, darlin'? Why don't we just play a game," Cass suggested.
"Okay... What? Not Quidditch, please... I don't want to lose my clothes again!!!" He looked at his robes and thought about his previous experience at the Teacher-Student quidditch match. The thoughts made him shudder.
"It's simple, my love." And Cass held Snape's hand. "Ooh... your hands are so soft... What do you use?"
"Jergen's, of course"[How did he know that???]
"We are gonna do thumb wrestling."
"Ooh... wrestling... Where???" Flitwick appeared riding on a pogo stick. "Ooh... s'mores... can I have some???"
"Sure," B2M gave him one.
Any who... Cass and Snape fought... It lasted for about an hour... Snape put up a pretty impressive fight for a beginner, and he eventually won...
"Whoopee... I won... I won... It's my birthday... It's my birthday..." Snape jumped up and did the funky chicken.
"Aww... my s'mores were burnt... Who wants some???" When Flitwick saw Snape, he felt bad, so he glanced at the students and winked. "Come here, Severus."
Snape bowed very lowly to reach Flitwick... Suddenly, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville grabbed Snape while Flitwick force-fed him with Burnt s'mores... Afterwards, they all ran away...
"Why you little?!?!" Cass exclaimed while Lotus began to break into tears. "Oh... Snapey... what have they done to you???"
"Come on. Let's get them. Deal." And the Elite Evil FF Darers [The narrator went along] went after the students and Flitwick, altogether forgetting about Snape who pretended that he fainted.
Colin Creevey then appeared and tried to wake up Snape. "Uncle, you okay? What happened?"
"Not to worry, Herman, I'm fine. I really enjoyed burnt s'mores, been eating them since I was a slimy kid. Did I say "slimy"? Anyways, I did that act so I can get away from them for a bit... We better leave now before they return, I have to save what's left of my dignity!!!"
Snapey got a happy ending. Not the same for Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville who, that night, knew the real power of the Evil Elite.

Zymurgy's dare:
1) Colin Creevey must suddenly reveal that his real name is "Herman," and that he's Snape's nephew.
2) Flitwick must jump rope, swim, do the hula hoop, blow soap bubbles, drink coffee, burn some marshmallows, use a pogo stick, and drive a muggle car of your choice.
3) Snape must be force fed s'mores.
4) McGonagall writes a letter of resignation to Dumbledore, full of the word "Evil."
5) Cassirin must teach Snape how to have a thumb war. Snape must win. Lotus must say, "Explain to me, again, why we are doing this?"
6) And FINALLY, it must all be set at a camping trip, and someone must curse all mosquitoes into oblivion, "In memory of Rita,"
Due date January 20th.

Edge. Edgey. Ed. I'm enjoying doing that... DEAL. Anyway, loved the fic. Just for your info... Snapey-pants belongs solely and totally to Zy, although for creative license, this is fine. Just... may I? Thank you.... ZY! IT WASN'T ME! I DIDN'T TRY TO STEAL HIM!

I really liked Snape's victory dance. Oh, and thanks for taking us to your hometown. It was lovely :).

My sincere apologies to Her Evilness, Zymurgy...
*gives back Deal*
It's solely intended for the story... Not meant to steal it from your Highness... *bows*

Really great Edge, Zy loves all that, "Her Evilness" stuff.
Apparently I care more about Snapey than I let on. Well with the exception of 'Snape is my man'.
I want to see more Evilness against Flitwick, that nasty little man drugged our Cassirin.
Write more soon, your stories are great!

Chiller Kickens!!!
I still love that. :lol:

Her evilness would like to inform you that contrary to popular oppinion she does not use "deal" at the end of every single sentance. Deal! :rolleyes:

Loved it! Just lived Flitwicks soap bubbles... and your the only one that actually used "in memory of Rita!" I bow to your throughou evilness... *bows*

EdgeEdgeyEd... your siggy! AHHHHH hahahahaha. Please explain to me (in short words) what exactly a chiller kicken ship would be. And... carry on.

Maybe he wants the chiller kickens to get to gether with the swan/screwts or the hedgehogs... or the underwear gnomes... or maybe the chillers are supposed to get together with the kickens...

Maybe that disturbs me. Please refer to the avvy... I'm making that face.

*reads the posts of other Eliters*
Woohoo!!!
:lol: :lol: *does the funky chicken* :lol: :lol:
Anyways, it was Cass who mentioned "chiller kickens"... My siggy meant I'm a follower of the Chiller Kickens, like Draco/Hermione shipper, Harry/Hermione shipper, stuff like that which I don't really understand if it's right or not... But i think I'll just go with Zy's idea...
*ponders on the meaning of life*

:yoshi: is here for your pure delight.

weird. but i like it! post more soon! a.s.a.p!

Disturbing........
:scarejulie: but very funny!

Too funny!!!!!
gee, i hope he didn't break a nail.

Don't I always think of everything? I guess i'm just evil like that! :lol: Marshmallows are yummy. 'specially with hot chocolate! Yum!!!

These are wonderful Edge, I like how you've continued them on too. :)
I can't pick a favourite part, they were all good!

Keep em coming Edge!

very evil.

i liked flitwick's pogo stick
what colour was it?
might it have been hot pink and sparkly?
it would look ever so nice if it were-
that way it would match me!

but i dunno if i want him matching me.....
:lol: :lol:
i thought you captured Zy very accurately
and i liked the bus too :shifty:
it was especially cool how dumbledore went 'on' his tent instead of in.
just the sort of thing he would do :shifty: i susspect him of sitting on my tent and forcing me to replace it's place inside my wardrobe with a poster of him..... i always wondered how that happened >_<

keep up the Evilness
and (late) welcome to the Elite.
its good cuz now we're not just a bunch of evil ladies with wack senses of humour-
now we're a bunch of evil ladies-with-one-Edge with wack senses of humour :shifty:

ei EJ!!!! your ff is really great (though iive only read your first post...sorry) nweiz...this ff is sure funny...keep it up...
see yah!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

(have to read your story more... :lol: :lol: )

Yeah, Edge... we love you.

Let me clarify, me4ron, Edge... whoever... I am not and never was married to the quite evil Filius Flitwick. He drugged me and tried to marry me, but I quite brilliantly escaped (or actually, Lotus rescued me). We can punish Flitwick. We can mock him. But we can NOT say he married me, because then he'll win. And he mustn't win.

Have a great day.

Cass is right. He didn't get away with it.
Although, it was more that Hoig's army of hedgehogs rescued her.......oh, and Charlie of course, rather than me.

I should never have let it get that far, it the first place, *bows and shakes head* I'm sorry Cass.

oh, sorry guys
i'd better go finish reading everybody's dares, ive only read about 7 of them so far :unsure:

The return to Hogwarts was uneventful. Snape took over Flitwick's job as driver of the bus, and he was not doing it as what is expected. They nearly ran to the edge of a cliff before Dumbledore said, "Hold on to the bus! Portus Omnibus" All of them felt like they were grabbed by their ears [Yes, ears. Not navels.] and after counting to ten, they arrived inside the Quidditch field.
While they were going down the bus, each of them sporting a reddish ear, Harry began to blabber. "Quidditch field... Seeker, Beater, Chaser, Keeper, Snitch, Quaffle, Goal Post, Bludger, etc. etc."
Cho passed by, stood in front of Harry and afterwards, a loud SMACK was heard. Harry fell to the ground while Hermione charged to Cho.
"Why did you do that?!?!"
"Nothing, I just wanted to touch him... in an evil way!"
As Cho went away, Hermione went to Harry and helped him to stand up. Harry began to blabber away, again... "Thanks, Hermione, friend, Gryffindor, Muggle, Witch, Prefect, Miss Know-it-all, etc. etc."
Luna passed by, stood in front of Harry, and slapped him once more.
But this time, it didn't affect him. Luna then asked, "What happened to him?"
Hermione replied, "It seems like Harry was hexed by the Evil Eliters, because we angered them yesterday. Apparently, nothing has happened to me, yet."
And when she turned her back, Luna tried desperately not to laugh as she saw feathers protruding out of Hermione's...[Okay... next Scene...]
Everybody was too tired to attend the Start of Term feast so the elves decided to go on strike when no one ate their prepared food. Fred and George, hoping to sneak some food, learned about this and became devastated. They then decided to just do a prank.
"Let's put dungbombs in McGonagall's office," George suggested.
"But she's resigned!"
"Oh, yeah... But anyways, all the more reason to do it there."
Peeves just happened to pass by. He bowed down to them and said, "Good evening, my masters. Now, what would two fine gentlemen be doing in such an odd place?"
"We were just talking about some things, is all..." George said. He then began to think while Fred summoned a candle and put it on top of George. When Fred lighted the candle, George exclaimed, "I got it!!! Could you do a bit of favor for us, Peeves? We want you to put dungbombs on McGonagall's office..."
Oh, no, my masters. I must decline..." But before he could continue, the twins went down on their knees and begged. And then Peeves continued, "Nothing that you say would persuade me. I have given up on my bad ways since I promised Poppy that I’d marry her. Sorry, you have to do it yourselves. Good day." And he left the distraught twins who just decided to go back to their commons.
As they reached the corridor that lead to the portrait hole, they met Malfoy, who was wearing "Spongebob-Squarepants” pj’s .
“Hey, you little git, what are you doing here?”
“Yes, my dear…” Draco replied.
“Huh? What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s yours is mine, pudding…”
“He’s so mental!!! “Chiller Kickens” Fred said. [The narrator was pleased by the password.]
Fred and George entered, and because they were in deep conversation, whilst the Fat Lady is eagerly listening, they didn’t realize Malfoy had entered.
Draco climbed the stairs to the girls’ dormitories and since he climbed by tiptoeing, the stairs didn’t realize his presence and thought it was another girl.
He entered the room to find Ginny awake and reviewing FF’s made by other Eliters. He went near her and said, “Miss me, my love?”
“Huh? Malfoy?!?! How did you?!?!”
And suddenly, Draco moved forward and kissed her. It was so loud that Hermione decided to wake up.
“Ewww… Gross…” Ginny wiped her mouth with a piece of parchment. [Oh, no!!! That’s my story]
“Well, I wouldn’t recommend it anyway…” she said.
[“Alright, that’s it… This is the last time for you to appear on my story. I’ll include you again if the dare needs you.]
“Fine!!! Suit yourself!!!”
Hermione replied, “Hello!!! The story!!! [Okay, it’s you now. But then, I also wonder why I’m in the girls’ dorm…] Hermione said, to Ginny, “But I thought you liked Malfoy and wanted to marry the scumbag?”
“Me??? No way??? Who gave you that idea." She then pushed Malfoy as she was looking at me suspiciously. Malfoy fell down and stood up a few minutes, puzzled.
“Where am I? Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Hello!!! This is our dorm!!! How come you don’t know where you are???” Hermione raised an eyebrow, [Kinda like Cass’ former Cinderella avvy] then she said, “Aha, You were sleepwalking, not only that, you were sleep talking, too!!! I’m telling on you!!!”
“Don’t you ever say a word, Hermione. Hmm… Perhaps your just jealous that it wasn’t you who I kissed.”
“In your dreams, Draco.”
Afterwards, Draco stormed out of the dormitories and went to wherever he belongs. Hermione thought to herself, even though I heard it, “It was not in your dreams, it’s in my dreams…” And she quivered, much like Helga from “Hey! Arnold!”

The next morning, Hermione went to the Great Hall and decided to tell everyone what happened last night.
“Guys, guess what!!! Draco sneaked into our common room last night!!! He also…” But someone distracted her. She saw Ron, in front of the Staff table, kneeling in front of that huge girl from Slytherin, Milicent Bulstrode. He took out a ring and exclaimed, “Mili, will you marry me?”
Gasps, applauds and disgusted sounds were heard from around. Suddenly, b2m rushed in and approached the couple.
“You cannot marry this blunder head. He’s mine!!! Pure and simple!!! And more importantly, no one can share my dear Phillip with anybody!!!” And she dragged Ron out of the Great Hall.
Harry began to blabber away. “That was amazing, fun, awesome, exciting, suspenseful, wonderful, etc. etc.”
[The narrator is getting tired of Harry’s nonsense so he decided to take him out of this story.]
Hermione sighed. “Thanks, Edge. He was getting pretty annoying.”
[No problem, Herm…]
As she sat down, she noticed that there were only donuts and coffee on the table. “Huh? Where’s breakfast? I mean, real food?”
Neville said. “Elves on strike. Dumbledore had no choice but to put dementors as temp cooks. Horrible, I tell you…”
Just then, two dementors in pink tights entered the Great Hall carrying butterbeer. Neville stood up, feeling bold, while others began to faint. He said, “Oy! What are you two doing here? Get back to the kitchens! Expecto Patronum” And a herd of pink flamingoes with tacky leg warmers [A perfect match to the pink tights, don’t you think? And I personally believe that silver is so last season.] shot out of his wand and scared Bill and Bob away.
Dumbledore stood up from the staff table and applauded, “Very good, Neville. I was about to take care of them myself without using hostility but as you see, Snape and I are in a gruesome battle of thumbs. As for your noble deed, I grant you a trip to the Caribbean.”
So Neville went to the Caribbean and he chose Harry and Hermione to go with him. During their stay, they met Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann on a local drugstore. And for Harry and Hermione, they were fortunate enough to find a voodoo witch who got rid of the curses inflicted upon them. [Questions? Refer to my last story.]

Ooc’s: Bill and Bob are not mine, even though they rock, because they belong to “Her Evil Dealy-ness” Zy. Pictures are courtesy of b2m; check it here...
The trip to the Caribbean belonged to another dare, I can’t remember whom, and I just added it for happy endings.
Thanks again to Cassirin for my “Pink Flamingoes in Tacky Leg Warmers” army. I’m touched by how evilly kind you are.


CatDGame's dare:
1. A main character {male} must give a wedding ring to a girl from Slytherin.
2. Someone must then object to this marriage by saying " You cannot marry this Blunder head.
3. Malfoy must sleep walk into Gryffindor girls’ dormitory and kiss Hermione or any other Gryffindor girl on the lips.
4. Dementors must come to Hogwarts and Neville must perform a full Patronus {animal of your choice}
5. Cho slaps Harry for no apparent reason while talking about Quidditch
6. The Weasley twins must persuade Peeves to put Dung Bombs in McGonagall's office.
7. And last but not least some one must say " I thought you liked Malfoy and that you wanted to marry the scumbag" { this must be said to a girl of course}
Due Jan. 9th

Ooc: This is my first double dare… I hope it meet everyone’s expectations.

Harry, Hermione and Neville returned from the Caribbean. While on the way, Hermione was humming, “Weasley is our King.” Harry then asked, “How come I don’t have a theme song? I’m more popular than Ron, where’s mine?”
“Elementary, my dear Watson,” Hermione replied.
“Elementary? Watson? What? Your name is Watson?” Neville asked to Harry.
“Oh never mind that. All I want is a theme song!!!” And Harry broke into a tantrum. He started stomping aloud and crying. Hermione, who was wearing a quizzical but serious face, finally answered by singing something. [To the Tune of “A Farmer in the Dell”]

“Oh, Harry is my Man,
Oh, Harry is my Man,
Yes, I can’t doubt it,
Oh, Harry is my Man.”

“His scar made him famous,
Although it looks ridiculous,
He got rid once of Voldy-poo,
But he must again to battle ‘You-Know-Who.’”

“Goody, goody!” And Harry began dancing the Funky Chicken. He did this until they reached Hogwarts.
As the new Trio [Ron is temporarily absent due to his abduction by B2M] entered the Entrance Hall, they saw Hagrid posting something on the wall.
“What’s that Hagrid?” Neville asked.
“Try-outs, for ballet. Professor McGonagall was supposed to teach it. But since she resigned, and Snape said he’d rather teach ‘Cartoon-Drawing,’ whatever that is, I got the job. Hope to see you there, okay? Outside my hut, this afternoon…”
While Hagrid left, Professor McGonagall emerged from the front doors.
“Oh Professor! So nice to see you!!! Back to teach, I hope?” Hermione said.
“I’m evilly afraid not, evil Granger. I evilly went here to evilly get my other evil things.”
Suddenly Dumbledore emerged from a broom closet door. [The one where Harry and Hermione hid in PoA.] He was wearing see-through robes and leg warmers. He went to McGonagall, wrapped his arm around her and said, “Where were you my love? I was waiting for you.”
“Geroff evil Me!!! You’re evilly drunk, evil Albus.”
Dumbledore suddenly kissed her, and then he howled and began acting crazy. He t hen ran off outside the grounds and Professor McGonagall stormed to her office.
“Where’s Professor McGonagall? What just happened?” Harry asked.
“Oh, don’t worry, all’s well…” I said. [I distracted them by showing my pink flamingoes and asked them to feed my army with shrimp. The pink flamingoes emitted smoke when I asked them to flap their wings, so the new Trio didn’t see it all.]
“Thanks Edge, for showing us your cute army. Well, we’re off to the commons.” Hermione said and they took off.

Ooc: So, how about it??? My next post is purely unrelated to this story, but meets the dare requirements, especially Cass’ special request… Watch out!!!

EDGE! I can't wait for the rest of this story... it's great. Especially the flamingoes (who are very happy they are in your siggy and have been bragging around the animal army locker room and now my chickens are jealous). An extra special dare req... I know! I know! Can't wait...

*shivers as she is greatly disturbed by vision of Dumbeldore in see-through robes*
I'm very jealous of your flamingos *sigh* I;ve always wanted one.
*Trys to sneek over and grab a Flamingo while Edge is distracted by a shiny object*

Patience, my dear Cass...
And Medraut, Cass was the one who gave me the flamingoes, so don't try getting one!!!
*barricades the way to the flamingoes' camp with shopping carts*
:cart: :cart: :cart: :cart: :cart: :yoshi: :yoshi: :cart: :cart: :cart: :cart: :cart:
Now you'll never get them, because you have to out-dance Yoshi first!!!

You are fantastic Edge! Your work is briliant and sooo funny!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh, BTW: neither Cass nor I were angry at you, trust me, you would know it if we were angry.
People would start screaming, "the sky is falling".

I'll give him back! I promise...*cough cough splutter* No...I'll try...but he's so...Oh who am I kidding, I'm only using him to get to Phillip! (hehe, aren't I evil!) toodles! :lol:

Very funny! I can't wait to see Hagrid teach ballet classes

Absolutely brilliant, Edge! In the embellished and very much fiddled-with words of Ron Weasley, "He's funny. EVIL , but funny."

Ooc: It's here... read on...

Flitwick had a bad day today. It all started with his dream. He dreamt that he was replaced as Charms’ professor, with none other but me!!!. He tried to “reconcile” with his “wife”, Cassirin, but all he got is a raised eyebrow. Then, in his dream, he went to Candy Land to wipe away all of his tears. But then, Giant Gumdrops appeared and said that they were following orders from someone to eat him. Flitwick began to run away from the menacing lemon-flavored Gumdrops when chocolate candy canes made an appearance and tried to rescue him. But the efforts of the candy canes were in vain because a new group, the Chugging Cupcakes, helped the Gumdrops and stuffed Flitwick in their mouth, not in their hand. Whilst Flitwick is being digested, he could here an eerie voice, complete with evil laugh, eerie music and undesirable crowing, “You’ll never take me!!! Never!!!”

He woke up afterwards, regretting that he had “drugged” Cass and not just let nature make its course. He then heard noises, looked up and found an owl tapping the window. Since the windows too high, he needed a ladder to reach it. He finally opened the window after falling a dozen times. The owl game him a rude peck before leaving.
Flitwick opened the parcel and found a nice, big, fat, Greek, pink hat with glittery and confetti-like stuff in it. He also read the accompanying letter. [Guess from whom!!!] It states, “To my “beloved”. A gift, which is the symbol of our once “happy” relationship.”
He put it on, looked in the mirror, and it cracked, but he didn’t care, so he decided to go to Diagon Alley that day.
Upon reaching Diagon Alley, he noticed a group of children crying and a pack of dogs scurrying into every direction away from him.
A man said, “What’s that you’re wearing?”
He said, “Don’t you think it looks good?”
A woman replied, “Oh, yeah… NOT!!!” And people started laughing and pointing at him, so he went away.
Out of the blue, dark clouds began to appear from above. A lightning came hurling all the way and struck something. Alas… it hit poor Flitwick and his hat.
Flitwick, who now smells like burnt tires, began yelling and shouting words that are “unspeakable” and “unbecoming of a professor”. He muttered loudly, “Why is this happening to me?”
And in a corner not very far from him, we see Cass and the Narrator exchanging high-fives and congrats and then said, “Mischief Managed!”

Ooc: I highly emphasize all quotation marks.

Ooc: Thanks for reading my intermission, excerpt, whatever… Now, back to the story…

That afternoon, the new Trio went down to Hagrid’s Hut and was surprised to see a lot of people turned up. Professor Binns was also there.
Neville said, “Professor Binns! Why are you here?”
He replied, in his usual monotonous and droning voice, “I’ve just been informed by the Ministry that I would take over the Headmasters’ job until… ah… he gets sobered. The reason why I’m here is because I’m a former ballet dancer meself and I would like to see or participate on the occasion.” He then snapped his fingers when he saw Neville’s head lopsided and he was drooling.
Neville woke up. “Huh… What??? Sorry, Professor, could you repeat what you just said.” [The professor obliged, but I’m too tired to write it again, so I give now the mic to Hagrid.]
“Okay people, look there to your right!!! It’s Orlando Bloom!!!” The crowd did as what was told. Meanwhile, on their left side, Dumbledore run up to the castle stripped of his clothes and catching the warm breeze. Hagrid and Fang, who saw this, shook their heads, let out a heavy sigh and pondered on the meanings of life. Draco then said, “Where’s he???”
“Oh, never mind that. I just saw “Return of the King” yesterday and I can’t get him out of my head. Now, everyone, I want all of you to pick a costume in this box.” Hagrid brought out a box and all rushed in and began picking up clothes.
Harry and Neville were fortunate enough to get mime costumes while Hermione got a pink tutu with laces and trimmings, don’t forget the confetti!!!
“Now, the leads are chosen by their costumes. The girl, I hope, who got the tutu and the lad in purple tights, please come forward.”
Hermione did, but only after Harry pushed her forward. Her partner is unsurprisingly, Draco. [Snapey could’ve looked good in it, but, I have to follow the dare, so…]
“Looking good, Malfoy!!!” and Hermione whistled.
“Oh, shut up!!! If it weren’t for Medraut, I wouldn’t do this!!!” He then looked in the crowd and saw Medraut smiling, waving and taking pictures with her Polaroid camera.
“Now then, follow me!!!” Hagrid started with an Arabesque, and he nearly fell down. He then did a Jete, and after completing it, the ground trembled and a big crack emerged.
“Allow me!!!” Professor Binns stepped into the limelight and he started twirling, hopping, tiptoeing, stuff like that.
I commented, “Good show, Professor. But I suggest you do that when THEY are watching!!!”
He saw the crowd lying on the ground and sleeping. Professor Binns, who never had a care in the world, danced the night away.

Ooc: I got the ballet terms are from an encyclopedia, in case you’re all wondering…

Medraut's dare:
* Someone must have dreams where Giant Gumdrops attack him or her and try to eat them
* Candy canes must come to the rescue
* Dumbledore must have a little too much butterbeer kiss Mcgonagall and then streak through Hogwarts
* Hagrid and Fang must see it all
* Umm..... I need one last thing.... Draco must be seen practicing a ballet in purple tights (since it seems tights are very popular in Dares)
Due: Jan. 15th

Cassirin's dare:
* Someone wears an ugly hat that could frighten small children and dogs.
* Harry demands a theme song... from someone.
* Hermione says, "Elementary, my dear Watson," to which someone else responds to that person, "Your name is Watson?"
* There must be purple smoke, lightening, and glitter.... but not all at once.
* An under-appreciated professor must play an important role.
* Get revenge for me on Flitwick for THE WEDDING (see Lotus's dare)
Due: Jan. 10th

Hahaha....*breath*...Hahahahaha!!!
That was Greatness!! Woohoo for the dare FF!!!
OVERLOAD.....Too many exclamation marks :smileybomb:
Sure you did Edge.....sure you did.........Edgey does Ballet, Edgey in tights.
Sooo.......what colour are they? :wub: :lol:

Yay! *does a little dance that ends with a high five to Edgey* Sah-weet! Wait... what? Edge does ballet? :ermsmile: Erm... cool.

:) Just kidding! I totally support your ballerina tendencies. Long live Edgey, King of the Ballerina Flamingoes in Leg Warmers. I have this mental picture of you dancing Swan Lake with a line of flamingoes in tutus behind you.

But... I was a ninja with my ninja chickens, so...

I totally agree! i was just thinking along the same lines......dancing with the flamingos.

Great story!

lol that was funny narciuses(sp) as catwoman? now that would be a scary sight.

Edge - when did you fight with Ginny and why? You wrote that at my fic and I've been wracking my brains. i think the whole Weasley clan is plotting against you. Go read Medraut's and you'll see what I mean.

hehehe

:lol: :lol: LOL, this is soooo funny
i love your fic, its so..... hilaroius :lol: :lol: :lol:

and i think its totally cool that you *cough* do *cough* ballet ; ) :shifty:
I did... for a month... then i got sick of skipping around in circles waving scarves, so i went back to jazz dancing.....


here's a flower :flowersmile: for you, and one for your flamingoes to share :flowersmile: dance pretty.

Whooot whoooot!! I wish they had both been in tights!! I can just see Snaoe (you're right, he could have looked good in them)...quite a change from the grey knickers. *snaps fingers* Darn!

You've got some genius for this Edge!! :lol:

hehe good work Edge. i just read all your dares and i think it's great how they follow on from one another, and how you include bits from other ppls.

Wierd but realy funny :lol: I give you :up: on it :flowersmile:

Thanks for all the evilly good comments... I'm in temporary hiatus and gonna be writing my next fic after this MoAFF shindig...
Okies!!!

Okay, hiatus over!!!
Continued from the last scene...

We find Ron in the Great Hall next morning eating breakfast, which mainly consists of groundhog pudding. Harry, Hermione and Neville joined him afterwards, all having pieces of grass and ant bites on their skin.
“Where did you all go? I was worried!” Ron said while munching on his third helping.
“I should ask you the same question.” And all the lights faded away except a spotlight that shone directly above Ron. Harry moved to him slowly and surprised him when he said, “Where were you on the eve of September 9th?”
“Um… I was abducted?”
“You liesss!!! You liesss!!!” Hermione spoke in a Gollum tone while pointing to him. “I sawsss you by the lake, with someone, yes it is!”
“How did you… never mind.” Ron was kinda shaking when Harry continued. “Do you have any proof of your alibi?”
“Yes, I have! Here’s Philip… he’ll testify for me!” And when he put his hand in his pocket, he brought out a ferret.
“Eww… Gross… Sorry, Harry, that’s not it.” He looked around and found no Harry in sight. He questioned Neville, who was trying to nick some of the groundhog pudding.
“Hey! Don’t…” Ron swiped away the pudding and put it all in his mouth. He then continued. “Seen Harry?”
Neville replied, while trying to fight back tears. “All I saw was Snape passed by and Harry followed him. I don’t understand why, really.”
And so after finishing breakfast, they all went to the front doors, where Filch was waiting. I decided that this day is Saturday, so they get the chance to visit Hogsmeade. As Filch searched for his pocket for the list of students, he brought out, yet again, the ferret.
“Oy… Who’s behind all of this?” and he eyed me menacingly.
“Don’t look at me! I’m just the humble writer. I don’t direct these things!”
“I’m not judging! Sheesh!” And he let the ferret loose and read the list.
Ron and Hermione made their way to Hogsmeade. Neville was nowhere to be seen, maybe because he isn’t allowed to go, or maybe I’m just too lazy to put him in the story. On the way, they met Harry, who’s going back up to the castle.
Hermione said, “Hey, Harry. How come you…” But he’s gone already.
Hermione didn’t see Snape who passed by at the same time, and they collided. She fell down, stood back up without getting help and said, “I’m sorry, Profes…” and he’s gone too.
“Oy! Everything’s so inconsistent today.”
“You tell me!” Suddenly, Hermione motioned Ron to stop and she looked to her right. “Do you smell something?”
Ron sniffed and said, while holding his nose. “Oh, yes. Something stinks. It smells like a mixture of mud and blood and whatnot.”
They decided to look, just for fun. When they found out what it was, they can’t decide how to feel or act. A group of pink pigs, with wings, were all huddled up in a corner, and they seem to be looking appreciative at something. When Ron looked closer, he nearly fainted ‘cause he found out that the bloody smell is coming from a dead cow’s carcass. He also noticed that it was getting smaller by the minute, so he deduced the existence of thestrals in the area.
Hermione motioned towards the flying pigs and found a note attached to someone. It reads,
Dear someone:
“Whosoever read his, Thank you!!! I needed to make a temporary leave of absence because someone told me to do it. *cough*edge*cough* I’m really sorry for leaving my army there, but it must be done. So, I just thank you for taking good care of them.
Xoxo, Secretive_phoenix.
Hermione closed the letter and began pondering. “Hmm… these just reminded me of something. Leaving without telling anyone, people who disappears quickly, cow’s carcasses… I think that these are some of the clues in “Revenge of the Blueberry Pancakes.”
“The what?” Ron was le confoosed.
“Honestly, don’t you ever read ‘Hogwarts, pre-History’? In the year 986, Klesandra the Tardy wrote a book called, ‘Revenge of the Blueberry Pancakes.’ She said that when things like this…” Hermione glanced around, “happens, then surely the Blueberry Pancakes would come and attack us all, covering us in sweets and making us diabetic!”
“Oh pshaw… That’s just codswallop!”
“Oh, yeah… Well, I don’t. That’s why I’m cutting on my sweets now and eating unsweetened sugar cubes.” She put her hands in her left pocket to show it to Ron, but alas, the same ferret came out.
“Ok, no comment,” she motioned to let the bird go but she noticed a piece of paper tied in its leg, so she took it and read the note.
Dear Miss,
Please inform the thestrals that we thank them for saving us from the cow. Apparently, the cow wanted to give us the Mad Cows’ disease but since we already got the FMD, we’re not keen to the idea. That’s all.”
Love, the flying pigs.
And Hermione looked at the carcass, which was still getting smaller, and decided to leave the note near it, hoping the thestrals would notice… or that they can read.
Finally, they reached Hogsmeade. Once again, Snape passed by and not so long after Harry. This time, Ron was able to take a hold of Harry and asked him, “Goodness, mate. What are all the shenanigans that you’re doing?”
“If you must know, me and Snape are playing Tag. Now, gotta catch him!” He pulled out from his pocket his… err, not a wand, but a ferret, and threw it to Ron’s face. This distracted Ron, and when he removed the ferret, Harry had had disappeared.
Ron and Hermione wanted to go to Madam Puddifoot’s, but when they stopped right outside, the sign that they read says, “Werewolves ‘R Us.” Confoosed, they went inside and found Lupin, along with some random persons and creatures.
Lupin called to them. “Ron! Hermione! Good to see you two. Where’s Harry, by the way?”
“Oh, never you mind, maybe he’ll drop by later. Anyways, you own this joint, Lupin?”
“Why, yes I do, m’dear! Like it?!”
The place was some kind of bar, which also sells school stuff, clothes, just about anything. They walked up to the counter where a big hairy man was behind the cash register.
“Ron, Hermione. This is Alcide Herveaux, my partner. Alcide, these are the kids that I’m talking to you about, remember? Except one’s not here…”
“Nice to meet you two.” Alcide then turned to Lupin. “Hey, why don’t you give them a brochure about our shop?”
“You’re right. Hold on.” Lupin pat his hand in a pocket inside his robe and brought out, unsurprisingly, the bouncing ferret. He released it and began to redden. He then said, “Lotus, you’re playing with my ‘Project Ferret’ again.” And Lupin ran out and searched for Lotus whoever that is… :P


Oh, yeah… I found out who she is… She’s the one who gave these dare requirements:
*someone refers to the book, "Revenge of the blueberry pancakes."
*Another animal army gratifies CatD’s thestrals.
*Lupin opens a shop, "Werewolves R us."
*The Harry and Snape disappear for most of the fic.
*I let a ferret loose in Hogwarts, and people keep finding it in their pockets.
And it was supposes to be due today… Woot, I did!!! :shifty:

PAMS!!
I love the Evilly evil letter Evil McGonagol gave to the Evilly evil Dumbledore! Lol

lol, lmao, lol

Thanks for the 'plug', Edge!

What bird? A ferret is a small weasel-like critter.

Great dare, Edge! Nice way to reveal the reason behind Snape & Harry's absences near the end... tag! Very funny!

http://members.shaw.ca/zapplor/smili...lie_zauber.gif

For real???
I didn't know that a ferret is not a bird...
*cries*
Thanks for the info, evlpez!!!
:shifty: :shifty: :shifty:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ok, I don't care if that was on purpose or not - that was just too funny :lol: :lol:

Super funny, Edgebert! I like when the Pigs "gratify?" the thestrals... but what's FMD? Oh, and someone else did this dare, but they had someone "grafiti" the thestrals... which is entirely different. And that's why spelling is so important.

Anyway... MWA!

Why wasn't I in this one? *cries, but then realizes she's being a dummy head and stops*

yay! go you!
hahaha, i loved that ferret, it was very cool :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: <--- me

;) cool dare :shifty: keep up the evil-ness

Lupin’s search for Lotus was put all in vain. He was feeling very confused and frustrated, mainly because he lost one of his clever experiment, or maybe because he felt something for Lotus. He nearly broke into tears, so Hermione and Ron tried to console him.
“There, there, Remus. We’ll help you find her.”
Ron said to Hermione, “Now, don’t go playing Harry’s part just because he’s not here!” He then asked Remus, “What does she look like, assuming that she’s a girl?”
“A girl?! Why…” Lupin looked at Alcide, who looked just as confused as he is. “yes she is. ‘She’ is Australian and got this obsession for wicked queens and underpants gnomes.”
A random light bulb suddenly lit up and Ron exclaimed, “I met ‘her’, during that time when I was wrongfully abducted by b2m.”
Hermione raised an eyebrow and twirled her hair, then said, “That alibi again. Would you stop telling lies? I guess that’s the reason why I don’t get attracted to you so much!”
“Fine! If you don’t believe me, maybe you will after you see this.” He brought out videotape from his pocket whilst Alcide brought in the room a random TV.
Hermione was puzzled with this whole scenario, so she asked how they got stuff like this.
Alcide replied, “Duh! I’m a Muggle too, you know, not just a werewolf. And haven’t you heard of this thing called the ‘internet’? ‘Tis pretty helpful, you know.”
“Guys, guys, could we just get on with this, or the author wouldn’t finish his story.”
“Right you are, Remus!” I said while sitting in a random chair and eating popcorn that popped from out of nowhere. The video played, and we find Ron on the screen.


ooc: More after a few short breaks. ;)

Hey! I remember abducting Ronnikins!!! That was fun! Thanks for reminding me Edge!!! I'm gunna have fun tonight! :eyebrows: *hint hint*

Toodles! :hello:

Hahahahahahaha!!! Good job EJ! PAMS!

Cool, EJ!

I just joined, check out my fic, The Characters Confuzzled :lmao:

The Great and Terrible Zymurgy has read your fic and liked it. Deal.

Woot! Finally, the continuation of the previous bit is here!

ooc: This part is inspired by the great “Chris”… It contains lots of smilies and most of the characters here are non-HP. And I forgot to say thanks to all your wonderful replies. ;) The abduction that I’m talking about is in my fifth story with CatDGame’s dare…

Ron: *is sleeping*
B2m: :hack:
Ron: What the? Where am I?
B2m: You’re in the forest, silly!
Ron: Why did you abduct me?
B2m: For no reason. I just want you to come with me.
Ron: :huh:
B2m: :eyebrows: Uh-oh. Something wicked this way comes.
Hagrid: *wearing a strainer on his head and waving a spatula* Ahoy there, b2m and Ron!
Ron: Hagrid, what’s up with the costume?
Hagrid: Don’t I look pweety. :wub: *regains composure then whistled* Come here my preciousnezz…

-=Skrewts appeared, dressed in kilts and holding maracas=-
Ron: :whisle:
Zy: *sprang out from behind the bushes, pounces Hagrid*
B2m: :shifty:
Ron: :huh:
Hagrid: *got up* Sheesh, Zy, don’t go scaring me like that!
Zy: Why are you trying to command my evil army? Why did you so blatantly ridiculed them? Why do I feel more for you than for Snape?
Hagrid: *looks at the author* Ask him.
Edge: :whisle:
Zy: :crack_whip:
Ron: Run Edge Run!
Edge: :adminchase:
Zy: I’ll be back later for you and your, I mean, my army, Hagrid. *blows a kiss and stalks Edge*
Hagrid: Well, best be off. And b2m, you can use one of my, or Zy’s, skrewts to travel to wherever your hearts desire. :eyebrows:
B2m: :bouncy: Come on, Ron!
-=b2m and Ron rode on a skrewt and went to Australia.=-
random person: banana_wtf
Ron: :huh:
Lotus: That’s a llama! Welcome to Australia, mate! Crazy people live here.
Cass: *passes by* I just want to make an appearance, after not being here the last time. *runs out*
B2m: *hugs Lotus* Good to see you!
Lotus: *is hugged* Yesh… you too! How’s life treating you?
B2m: Super-busy. I had to delete my fic about Rastaban because of it. :/ I hope you take good care of Ron.
Ron: *le confoosed* You're leaving me here?
B2m: Sorry, can’t explain! *drops a penny* Take Philip!
Secretive_Phoenix: *lurks* Has anyone seen George?
Lotus: :no:
Ron: :mellow: Were you talking about my brother, or someone else? *le confoosed*
Secretive_Phoenix: Nope. My purple chicken. :sad:
Lotus: :petpet: Ask Cass. She just passed by.
Secretive_Phoenix: Sure! *runs after Cass*
Lotus: :whisle:
Ron: :eyebrows:
Lotus: :evil:
Ron: :bouncy:

-=Lotus and Ron traveled around Australia on the llama. They stopped by the Sydney Opera House=-
random group: :music_band:
Ron: Cool! What’s your name?
random lead singer: We’re the *bus honks* *points somewhere* He's our manager, Hungry.
-=A dwarf made an appearance=-
Hungry: :hello:
MI: *appears holding a banner which states, “I :heart: Coldplay!”*
Ron: :huh:
Hungry: Duh! The name of the band is Coldplay!
Lotus: :yes:
MI: *screams, gasps, and dies*
Lotus: *revives MI* Get a hold yourself mate!
MI: *is alive, looks at Hungry* Noooo!!!
Ron: :huh:
MI: He’s gonna eat me! *throws socks to Hungry, runs out*
random group a.k.a. Coldplay: *follows MI* ^_^
Hungry: *dies because of the thrown socks*
Ron: *looks at Hungry* That looks like one big chunk of toffee!
Lotus: *slaps Ron* He’s a dwarf, you silly!
Ron: :drool: My, my! What a lovely piece of licorice!
Lotus: *casts a spell on Ron* :shifty:
Ron: :zzz:
-=Lotus dragged Ron… to somewhere… like the next scene=-
Edge: *shouts* Hey Ya!
Ron: *wakes up* :huh:
Edge: Come on down! Join the party!
Ron: *follows Edge*
Lotus: *holding a tray* Glad you’re awake! I was getting worried that it wouldn’t come off. Want some? *offers cookies*
Ron: *gets some cookies* Thanks! Haven’t eaten for quite a while…
Edge: *goes to the middle of the room* Welcome, one and all, to my first Tubberware party, *points at some containers at the corner* If you happen to fancy some of the stuff, feel free to ask me for a discount!
-=People started perusing the containers. Lotus zigzagged her way through the crowd while giving drinks and cookies. Ron sat quietly in another corner, starring somewhere random=-
Edge: *wearing a floral-pink apron* What’s bothering you, Ron?
Ron: *stood up* Bother, bother, bother, bother, bother…
Edge: :huh:
Ron: *sat back down* I want to go home! :sad: To Hogwarts, that is!
Edge: *brought out a pair of ruby slippers* Try it on. Click the heels three times while saying, “There’s no place like home!”
-=Ron tried it and it worked, but not after he got side tracked to Kansas, where Dorothy tried getting back her slippers=-
Epilogue: The video received 4 stars from famous critics. Hermione finally believed Ron’s alibi. Remus and Alcide went on a quest to find Lotus. Coldplay and MI lived happily ever after, as well as Zy, Hagrid and the skrewts. As for Harry and Snape, I guess they’ll appear more on my next fic, along with Cass, o’course… ;)


Medraut's dare:
1. Secretive_Phoenix must go on a search for her lost purple chicken named George
2. Hagrid must wear a strainer on his head and carry around a spatula which he uses to command his army of skrewts or flamingos
3. Some EEFFD member must fall in love with Hagrid and his army *cough* Zymurgy *cough*
4. The dwarf "Hungry" must make an appearance and a character in the fic must spaz out and be afraid "Hungry" is going to eat them
5. Someone (not Hungry) must start seeing people as candy
6. Edge must host a tubberware party (wearing a very feminine apron )to which Ron attends, Lotus must serve refreshments
Due date: 15th Feb.

Haha! Edgey you're so funny! Yes, life is super-busy for me...*sigh* Great job! You always make me laugh! teehee (see?) :lol:

Toodles with Noodles! :sorcerer:

great EJ
:lmao:
ROTFL

its really good
go you!

I like my random appearances. I also like the script format. i think I'm feeling a... inspirational moment coming on... Nevermind. It was a burp. LOL... wow. I crack myself up today.

*runs away*

Harry hopelessly tried to flatten his hair whilst looking at the mirror. He had received an invitation to “Professor Snape’s Annual St. Patrick’s Day Luau”. Actually, this was Professor Snape’s first time to throw a party. Who would ever imagine Snape hosting a party? I would, of course. Yes, that would be good times, good times.
Ron entered the dormitories, stood beside Harry and tried to fix his bow tie. “Say Harry, why are we going to Snape’s party?”
“I have a couple of reasons. One, we get free food! Two, most of the students are there, and it would be bad for my image if I didn’t mingle with my fans. And three, who would ever resist Snape?!”
Ron eyed me menacingly, I don’t know why, then he shrugged. “Mmmkay… You the boss, I’m just the humble sidekick.” ^_^
The two went down to the common room, and saw Hermione putting something on Neville’s shoulders.
“Gasp! ‘Mione, are those wings?”
“Faerie wings to be exact! Neville wanted to stand out amongst the crowd.”
“I feel pretty, pretty like a butterfly!” Neville said in a singsong manner, whilst running around in circles, trying to flap his wings.
Harry then interrupted. “Um… ‘tis not a Secret Fairy Convention we’re attending… It’s the St. Patrick’s Day Luau!”
“Whatever… well, follow me, my pretties!” and with that said, Neville flew out of the portrait hole, with Hermione right behind feeling oh-so-happy, and Harry and Ron, who both shook their heads and wished that they could’ve done the same thing.
As they walked out of the oak front doors and towards the grounds, a lovely sight greeted them. The area near the lake was enchanted to look like the beach. It seemed like even Professor Dumbledore did this feat himself, because we see the Headmaster trying to overcome a 50-feet wave, riding his skateboard. On the beach were hut-like kiosks, and because of the theme, they were adorned with shamrocks and were run by leprechauns.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville the faerie decided to go to the main tent were all the food was placed. On the way, they saw Professor Flitwick being prodded on by Professor McGonagall to dance with the newly cooked roasted pig which was doing the boogie. Flitwick promised that he would, but only if Professor McGonagall would kiss a tiki torch that was burning red hot. And so they shook hands, and after a few minutes, Madame Pomfrey rushed into the scene with stretchers, muttering something as March being the Fire Prevention Month whilst bringing the professor to the hospital wing for second-degree burns.
The students finally got the time to approach the food table after the incident. Neville picked up a plate and filled it with pineapples, pineapples and more pineapples. Oh, did I say pineapples? Anyways, Harry gave him an odd look and tried putting some barbecued pork into his plate. But Neville the faerie gave Harry a menacing look and puffed, “I’m on a diet. Buzz off!” And he flew on top of a coconut tree.
Meanwhile, Ron was frantically searching for a particular, or maybe a random delicacy. Hermione was getting dizzy by just looking at Ron’s raucous behavior, so she held him by his collar to stop, and then she inquired. “What are you so worried about?”
“The pies.” He sighed. “Who ate all the pies? There must be at least a groundhog pie here! Even if not, any kind of pie would do.”
He turned over a large punch bowl hoping there was some pies underneath, but there aren’t any, and the bowl fell on Mrs. Norris. ^_^
Hermione pointed out, “Why don’t you ask Snape? He threw this party, you know. He must’ve some kind of explanation.”
“Yeah. Speaking of the sexy angel, where is he?” Harry added. He got no answer, so he decided to look at a rock-shaped garbage can, but no Snape there, only a gooey Mrs. Norris. ^_^
After a few moments, our host finally arrived, wearing a rather gorgeous… tatatara-tada… green cross.
Sounds of disgust, awe and admiration were heard from the crowd. And in a blink of an eye, they went back to whatever they were doing, particularly frolicking on the beach.
“Yo Professor! Whaddup wit da get-up?”
“Now, now, Draco. Talk nicely. As you can see, I’m just trying to fit in with the occasion. I’m wearing green, because I don’t want anyone to pinch my delicate skin. My dress is shaped like a cross, be cause St. Patrick is a saint, you get the picture. And…” He pulled something from behind him, and put it around his waist. “I wouldn’t call it a luau if I didn’t get the opportunity to dance the hula now, would I? Oh, girls!!!”
He whistled and clapped his hands, as if he was calling somebody. And out came from a random hut, five EEFF darers. Cass lead the pack, who looked so stunning in her skirt, she could’ve stolen the show from Snape. There were also Zy, Kris and Emma, who were all desperately trying to cover their mouths with their hands, hoping no one could see them drool. Lastly, we have Lotus, wearing a bushranger’s hat and a gerbera on her ear, proudly representing Australia. ^_^
Out of nowhere, the theme song of “Lilo and Stitch” played, and the six people began swaying their hips. I might describe it a bit more, but I got lazy/busy watching, so just imagine it. :P
As others, *cough*especiallyme*cough* were watching the show, Harry suddenly hugged Ron. “There’s something about you that’s causing me to hug you. It’s like I don’t have a will of my own.” Ron replied, in a voice which is reminiscent Potter Puppet Pals, “I love you, Harry.”
Neville swooped down from the coconut tree wherein he was perched a while ago and yelled, “Slash! Slash!” I think he was trying to get Zy’s attention, but she was to busy doing her thing on the dance floor that she forgot to summon the Slash Monster. Neville tried to take matters in his own hand so he took his wand, pointed it to Harry and Ron, who have separated from each other, and Neville muttered Agadi Agudu.
Neville forgot that he was a faerie at that moment, and he also forgot that faeries who do harmful things to others would find that their plans wouldn’t work, but would backfire to them. So instead of Harry and Ron being hexed, the spell hit Neville back and he was blown up to the sky by a big rocket, which turned out to be an enormous fireworks. The crowd below watched in awe as the rocket blew up to pieces and produced different colors, and also sending Neville to a nearby cloud.
At last, the party ended, everyone was happy, Snape didn’t dare to drive because he was drunk. Furthermore, they forgot that Neville the faerie was still somewhere there up the sky.

Marcella_Riddle's dare:
The fic must include the lines:
"Who ate all the pies?"
"I feel pretty, pretty like a butterfly."
It must also include:
*Snape cross-dressing.
*Someone kissing an inanimate object.
*A charmed dancing item of food.
*A spell backfiring that has funny consequences
Due date: 23rd March.

Biochemkris's dare:
1) Snape throws a party- any occasion you want.
2) Someone must say, "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own."
3) Two characters hook up at the party- you choose.
4) The Evil Elite make an appearance at some point.
Due date: 20th March.

Teehee. Have I mentioned how evil you are? That was great! So evil in pink tights! Mwahahaa!

toodles with noodles,
b2m

p.s.- I've kidnapped my Ronnikins again! :evil:

Thanks, b2m. And you're so naughty! :evil:
I think I'll make another story about that... we'll see... :shifty:
I'll be following what others might have done and post my MOAFF entry here. I didn't even think that it's verrrrry long! :D

One day…
Michael Jackson went to prison. No, no not because of his deeds, but because he had to. His number one fan, whose identity is withheld and wishes to be called Medraut, participated in an “I-will-defend-Michael-Jackson-with-my-whole-life-and-anyone-who-is-against-me-I-would-fight” fight, and Michael wants to thank her personally for her good deed.
As he entered the prison, he was greeted by multiple banners, including “We love you, Michael, but not our kids!” and “The longer you stay, the longer you stay.” Amazingly, no media was present, it seems that they opted to cover the Lotus-Lucius wedding. Any who, as he was being ushered towards Medraut’s cell, a very tall person with long, silver beard called upon him.
“Yoo-hoo! Jackie, is that you?” And Michael turned his head and screamed a little.
“Dumbo? What’re you doing here?” <span style='color:blue'>[Weird pet names, me thinks.]
“I’ve been caught drinking while driving. So, came here to join me?”
“Not this time, old pal. I’ve got some visiting to do.”
“Oh, goody. So, you can get me out?”
“Sure.” And with a wave of his hand and a pinch of his nose, the guards opened Dumbledore’s cell and ushered him out.
“Come on. We’ve got lot of ground to cover. How’s Grindy?” “Don’t you read Choco Frog Cards anymore? I defeated him once in a very gruesome battle of Gobstones, and ever since that, he retired and decided to open a club on top of Mt. Fuji.”
Michael shook his head and sighed, while Dumbledore continued, “Hey, want to visit Hogwarts?”
“Sure,” and they left, leaving Medraut who never got even a one-line speech.

The next day…
Dumbledore and Mr. Jackson arrive at Hogsmeade, and Michael’s eyes and mouth started to water. What could the reason be?
I looked from him to where his attention is. I knew it. The latest styles of robes and scarves are already out, but I think that’s not it. I then looked to the right, and found a big onion surrounded by something random. That would sure make eyes and mouth water but I doubt it. I still searched the entire place and spotted Dobby carrying a very big Parmesan cheese. I decided to ask him what it’s for but I was distracted by something and apparently, this is the REAL reason for Michael’s misbehavior.
Three persons, me thinks, were walking towards our direction, carrying a very large ring and singing, “We’re off to see the Wizard… The wonderful Wizard of Oz.” I was surprised as this trio moved closer, and recognized them as Harry, Ron and Hermione.
“Goodness, what happened to you three?” Dumbledore questioned.
Hermione moved forward and said boldly, “We are the Fellowship and we’re on our quest to rid this town of evil.” And she took out a sexy, but short sword from her scabbard.
“Calm down, dearest,” Michael said, and he turned his attention to the ring-bearer. “Hello Scar-boy. My, my, who’s your hairstylist?” He asked while examining Harry’s long hair.
“Unhand me, Sir Nose-a-lot. I’m ‘Sorry Rumble’, the Lord of the Onion rings.” And he swiped Michael’s hand away from his hair and pointed to the large onion. “There it is, Mount Doomonion! ‘Tally ho!”
And the three charged forward where the onion is, but was halted by Dobby, using the cheese as a barricade.
“Young misters and miss, thou shalt not pass! Face the wrath of Lord Sauerkraut and his trusted servant, ME!”
The cheese began to move and produced seven holes. Green gases were emitted from the six holes, and the largest and middle hole became the “Eye.” People from around began coughing and fainting as effects of the abominable smell. Then suddenly, a white horse appeared, and riding on it was a hooded figure wearing a sombrero and carrying maracas. The rider stepped down and began to hum. He then shake his maracas, bumped and grinded, and afterwards began to dance and sing.
“La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha, enchilada, blah, blah, blah;
“La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha, el burrito, el salsa!”
The one-eyed cheese let out a shrill sound and Dobby covered his eyes and muttered, “The horror!” The cheeses melted, so everybody took some nachos and began to eat.
‘Sorry Rumble’ approached the hooded rider and said, “Oh thank you, Vandalfart. That was a nice save.”
Vandalfart took down his sombrero and revealed his’ snakey eyes. “I guess I win the ‘Enticing Eyes’ award, now that the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy has ended.” He then shakes Harry’s hand, rode on the horse and set of to the sunset. Finally ‘Sorry Rumble’ placed the ring on top of the large onion, and a blinding, white light engulfed the premises.
After the dilemma, we find everybody changed back to normal, and we see Michael scratching his nose so hard it nearly fell.
Michael and Dumbledore then decided to visit the Three Broomsticks. As they walked toward the door, an announcement scroll called their attention. Dumbledore read it loud, so I can share it to you folks.
“Are you made to hog the mayor ship of Hogsmeade? Then enter at your own risk and sign-up as a candidate.
“For those who are not concerned, don’t you dare read this!!! Comprende? Good!”
Dumbledore sighed and said, “If only I’m not the Headmaster, I would join this shindig.”
“Well, I’m not! So, I’ll accept this dare.” Michael then went inside, with Dumbledore behind, looking puzzled.
“Uh, can you? Number one, you’re not a wizard and number two, you don’t live here.”
“Neither does she.” And he pointed at Cassirin, who was looking quite maleficent. He then added, “Besides, I can be magical if you want me to.” [The author doesn’t want to know.]
They approached the registration table to find out that Snape was the head of the election committee. After sipping some coffee, he looked at them coldly and said, ”Who dares to enter the dragon… er, I mean… to run for the race?”
The author entered the scene carrying a sack and exclaimed, “A race? Where? Is it a sack race? Count me in!” And he put the sack on his head.
MI suddenly passed by and poked the author with a stick. She then ran out after doing the deed. The author removed the sack and exclaimed, “Who did that? I’m not dead yet! Gah!” And he decided to search for the culprit.
Michael approached Snape in a slashy-forbidden manner and muttered, “I do, you greasy git.” Snape suddenly spewed liquid from his mouth, which traveled all the way to Zonko’s Joke Shop. He then eyed Michael menacingly and said, “Back off, you slashy-forbidden fiend! I’m secretly married; to someone so secret I don’t even know who that secret person is. But anyway,” he wrote Michael’s name on the parchment and they shook hands, “you’re now a candidate. No need to fill up forms. Congrats!”
A man wearing a turban on top of his hooded face approached them and commented. “That’s why we don’t get good leaders. Because of people like you, and maybe those who elected that uber-person. Anyways, why are you drinking coffee? Don’t you know that it has caffeine and causes nervousness and insomnia?”
“Well, well, someone decided to be Mr. Know-it-all!!! And, excuse me… It’s a known fact that coffee decreases the risk of diabetes. And don’t you have some terrorizing to do?”
“I know, I know, but I must follow the requirements, so, I guess I’ll be off.” He went out and flew off on a magic carpet.
Dumbledore approached Michael after all of this shenanigans and congratulated him. Michael then asked Dumbledore, “Do you think I could stay for awhile in your castle, for old time’s sake?”
“Oh, sure. But I’m afraid that the staff dormitory has no vacancy, especially since Firenze redecorated that area and put up a garden. But you can stay in any dormitory that you want, provided that the sorting hat picked it for you.
“Okay, then, I can’t wait!” And they headed up to Hogwarts.</span>

That night…
We find them at the Headmaster’s office while Dumbledore was placing the Sorting Hat on top of Michael’s head. The tear near its brim opened and gave out the most horrible sound ever before it broke into a song:
“This person I refuse to choose,
a house where he can go and peruse,
I’m afraid his mind is too polluted,
but what can I do, a wish must be granted.
The Slytherin house is not for you,
‘cause they don’t need your money,
Neither does Hufflepuff, who’s known to pick
the general crowd, refuses your company.
The Ravenclaw bunch, denies your entrance,
to their humble abode, of smartness and intelligence,
Without a doubt, there’s only one left,
I hope they’re brave enough, and they can accept.”
GRYFFINDOR!
And when Dumbledore removed the hat, he noticed that it was wet. “Hmmm… It seems that old Sortie cried. That’s odd!”
Michael jumped up and down, and moved it all around, and exclaimed, “I’m going to Gryffindor! I’m going to Gryffindor! But where is that? In Norway or something?
“Silly you. Come on, follow me!”
And Dumbledore led Michael to the Fat Lady who was confused of the whole situation. When Dumbledore said the password, the Fat Lady had no choice but to let Michael in, too.
As they enter, they spotted the Famous trio hanging out near the fire. Dumbledore said, “Hem, Hem.” And the trio looks up, especially Hermione, who looked like someone splashed cold water to her.
“My dear students, you have a visitor. His name is Michael Jackson and he’s temporarily sorted to your House. I accept all of you to respect and accept him, ‘cause he’s a dear friend. That’s all.” And after patting Michael and waving at the students, Dumbledore left.
“Oh my God!!!” Screams were heard from the girls’ dormitories as Angelina, Alicia, and Katie went down, carrying a quill and parchment, and jumping like mad misses. “Can we have your autograph? We’re your number one fans.”
Michael obliged and then Angelina asked him, “Can I have a kiss? But can you please lower your face. I maybe tall but unfortunately I have a large head and a very small neck.”
“Sure dear. But careful with the nose.” And she did, and afterwards was followed by Katie and Alicia. After the small session, the three Quidditch chasers left, quivering, shrieking and fake fainting.
Michael motioned to join Harry and Ron, but they looked at him piercingly and they were hiding something, so he had no choice but to join Hermione. He sat beside her, and noticed the incredible amount of books and parchments lying on the table. He looked at her, made a discontented sound, before finally asking, “What’s bothering you, my dear?”
Hermione eyed Michael very menacingly, it’s like she’s going to use ‘heat vision’ to burn him. Then she exploded, “Would you leave me alone!!! My hands are currently full and I don’t need to feed another mouth!!!”
“Huh? What are you talking about, sweetie?”
“You and your codswallopness, that’s what. I leave you for one minute and then, you run off with someone. Imagine that.”
Michael wasn’t able to take it anymore, so he slapped Hermione. Hermione’s eyes went back to focus and then shook his head.
“What happened?! Oh my gosh! Michael Jackson in here, right now. I can’t believe this!” Hermione grabbed a quill and parchment and asked and autograph from Michael, who looks confuzzled.
“Didn’t you know what happened?” he asked.
“Um… no. And why are my cheeks hurting?”
Michael realized that she was getting delirious because of the heavy workload and maybe stress. He replied, “I’m sorry but I kinda slapped you because,” he lingered for a while and continued, “you had a spider on your face.”
“Spider?!?! Where?!?!” It was Ron, and he jumped on top of a chair and a crunching sound was heard.
“Ronald Weasley!!!” Harry exclaimed. “Look at what you’ve done?” He motioned Ron to get off the chair and picked up a bag. “You know too well she doesn’t like crushed Skittles!”
Ron huffed and replied, “Neither did she liked that grass-stained shirt you made her wear!”
“Oh yeah? Well how about that time when you made her a wig of Milicent Bulstrode’s hair. That was the worst!”
“Ooh…” Ron’s face was already red, and so was Harry’s. They both shouted, “Dobby!” and afterwards the house-elf arrived, and amazingly, is still carrying a big ball of cheese.
I asked, “Wasn’t that supposed to be melted?” And Michael nodded for approval.
“Young storyteller, I’m afraid that you were talking about the bad cheese. Now, this is the good cheese and the ugly one is with Winky.” Then he turned to Harry and Ron and asked, “What is it this time, misters?”
They said in unison, “Take Barbarella and hide her. Don’t ever let that,” they pointed at each other, “person see her ever again.”
“As you wishes.” And Dobby picked the ‘Barbie Doll’ that was sitting in a custom-made chair, and then he left. Harry and Ron harrumphed at each other and stormed up to the dormitories, while Hermione fell face first on her pile of books and started to snore.
Suddenly, Sirius’ head popped out of the fireplace, and he had a sock up by his mouth. Michael was surprised by this, but didn’t think twice and removed the sock.
Sirius said, “Who are you? But anyways, where’s Harry?”
“I think he’s already sleeping.”
“For real? Well then I guess I’ll just do it for you.” He cleared his throat and sang:
“And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we've got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest?
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best.”
Michael applauded whilst Sirius said, “Thank you! You’re too kind.” And he popped out.
Michael decided to tell Dumbledore what happened, but I released some pixie dust, and he fell asleep.

The next day…
Michael was awakened by some screams. As he opened his eyes, he saw Hermione ranting while looking out the window.
“What’s the problem?” he asked.
“Look… there!” And he did. He saw a huge tent pitched on the grounds, and there were also lots of animals and stalls. “I didn’t know they’d come now! Gah!!!” And Hermione messed up her hair and nearly began to weep.
“Well, that’s good… isn’t it? There’s a fair outside.”
“Oh yeah? Well lucky you, you don’t have anything to worry about. But look at me!” And he did. Hermione is looking very… odd. She got lines on her forehead, she smells like she rolled in the mud, and Michael spotted some grayness on her bushy hair.
“My, my! What’re you doing with your life, dear? I say, ease up a bit and let’s go see what’s going on below!”
“Ohh! You never understand a word I just said. “ And Hermione set off, I think towards the library.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Girls. No wonder...” And he decided to find what’s really going on.
As he was about to go out of the front door, a young man with the same long, unruly hair halted him. That young man brought out a lei and put it on Michael. He then sang:
“It's the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life.”
“Bravo, bravo! You’re the same guy as last night, right?” I wonder why you’re here and what’s up with this lei?”
“Yes, yes, I am. I’m here to look after my godchild, Harry. You know him? I was tipped by someone that Lordy Voldy is here, so I signed up for the Welcoming Committee.”
“Yeah, I do. Well that’s good. See you around.”
And Michael walked up to where everyone is, but he was still confused on the goings on, so he asked the author.
I replied, “I don’t really know, too. I can’t think of any event so I just made-up this very random fair.”
Michael understood and tried to pat me in the shoulder, but I ran away, just in case Slashy appears and bops our heads.
Michael perused from one kiosk to another, which were mainly supervised by Hogwarts’ students and staff. He stumbled upon Harry’s kiosk, which bears the sign “Dolls ‘R Us.” Ron also had a kiosk next to Harry, with the sign “It’s Dolls ‘R Mine!” Harry looked at Ron then to his’ sign, then to his own sign. He took out his wand and pointed at his own sign. The letters changed to “Don’t Trust the one on my left.” Ron changed his sign too. It now reads “Liar, liar, Plants for Hire.”
Harry redid his sign. “It’s Pants on Fire.”
Ron did that too. “You Would Know… Liar!”
Harry looked Ron straight in the eye, while Ron wears a smudged face.
“Why you?!?!” Harry began to charge at Ron. Luckily, a hooded figure wearing a pirate’s hat approached them and interfered. “I shall approve to no fighting, this fair promotes camaraderie and I believe you haven’t followed that.”
He glared at Harry and Ron, and then from out of nowhere, Sirius arrived with his wand out.
“What’s this? Lordy Voldy, what’re you going to do!” Sirius was ready to strike but Harry stopped him.
“Don’t, Godfather. He didn’t try to kill me. He just stopped me and Ron from fighting.”
“Hmm, that’s better.” Sirius the faced Michael and began to sing:
“It means no worries, for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!”
Michael responded with a moonwalk and his rendition of “Thriller.” But the others, including the author, were too busy with random stuff that Michael felt ignored and just walked away. He walked upon a small stable with the sign “DE Rules.” As he went inside, he saw more hooded figures tending to the horses, and he noticed one particular stable where a lot of people were gathered. He tried to find out what was all the commotion. But before he could, the stable opened and out comes the pinkest pony you could ever imagine… with Snape as its rider. A boy with perfectly gelled hair was ranting to a tall hooded person, which obviously is his father.
The boy cried, “I want to ride the pony, Father. Pwease!”
“Now, now, Draco, play nicely. You know that Snape has made a bargain with us. He’ll put a stop to our bad reputation if we let him ride the pony.”
“But I wanna!” And Draco ran after Snape and the pony, with Lucius not very far behind. Michael thought to himself, “I want the election day to come. Maybe right now…” And so it did.

The Election Day…
Michael was very pumped up while he entered the Gryffindor Common Room. To his surprise, people there waited for him and wished him luck.
A random person would give something to Michael as a sign of support. After some time, someone old looking approached him, and he was dumbfounded.
“Uh, aren’t you too old to be a Gryffindor, ma’am?”
“No, she isn’t. She’s Hermione, and she only looks old because of the wrinkles and gray hair. But she’s still…” And Hermione poked Ron and said, “It’s impolite to tell a woman’s age.”
Ron replied, “As you wish, Grey-mione.”
Ron ran away and Hermione followed him. It seems that there wasn’t really any problems with her body, her face just matured.
Anyways, Dumbledore came in and took Michael to Hogsmeade. The students followed because they wanted to, so what can Dumbledore do? They came upon a stage built in the middle of the High Street, where the other candidates are all waiting. When Michael approached them, Snape exclaimed, “Why are you very late? We’re supposed to start 2 hours ago! Never mind!” He took out his wand and pointed it to his nose… err… I mean, throat and muttered, Sonorus. He then said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever election for Mayor of Hogsmeade. I want to tell everyone that voting is open to all, even babies. But first, you must all meet the candidates to decide the winner.
First to walk, more like float, on stage is Professor Binns. He talked and talked but no one seems to listen, so he just floated away. Next up was Sirius, who sang “In the Mighty Jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight,” and after his performance, Harry shouted, “Sirius is my man!!” <span style='color:blue'>[‘Tis not Slashy-forbidden. I promise.] Next up was Lordy Voldy who made a litany about being good. I personally don’t believe him, especially with his hat that has the description, “Once a thief, always a thief.”
Cassirin then went up and a group of people was cheering for her. As I looked, I saw Lotus and Zy holding up a banner and shouting, “Go, Maleficent!” Cass began to make her speech, “Magandang umaga. Ako si Cassirin Louise Douhickey, ay nag-uutos sa inyong lahat na iboto ako bilang Alkalde ng Hogsmeade. Ngayon, sumayaw kayong lahat ng ‘Otso, Otso’!”
She brought out her wand and waved it at the crowd, She then began to sing:
“Tayo’y mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!
Mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!!!”
The crowd really liked her and danced to her song. Suddenly, gnomes with parachute fell from the sky and nearly scared the whole crowd. Luckily, Flitwick, who was wearing a banana-muffin costume that the author picked himself, ran up to the stage and said, “No, no, no! you were all supposed to parachute down Hagatña, not Hogsmeade! Where’s Gnarvin?” And a gnome with a big head, he must be the ‘head’ gnome or something, approached him. “We’re sorry, King Gnitwit, Gnoel lost the map and Gnelson said that this is the place, so…”
“Ano ito? Flitwick, bakit ka nandito?!” Cassirin said while removing a gnome in her cape. “Alis!!!” She then ordered everyone to degnome the whole place, and she personally took Flitwick away.
Finally, Michael Jackson went up the stage. He made a speech about many things and the crowd sucked it all up. They also thought that he would do best, considering that he’s a Muggle. So they voted for him unanimously.
Michael searched for Snape to thank him for his help. He found Snape hiding in a corner drinking coffee and munching on jelly doughnuts. He thought that this wasn’t right so he banned these foods at Hogsmeade.
After a few days, we find Michael in his new office. He was playing with a random thing when the door burst open suddenly. Two dementors in pink tights, we call them Bill and Bob, went in. Since we know that they can’t speak… or do they… they we’re holding up a placard and it reads, “Why did you ban coffee and jelly doughnuts? Now we’re out of stock and forced to eat these!” They took out biscuits and milk and threw it at random places, and they moved closer to the desk, but because they don’t have eyes… or do they… they didn’t realize that Michael fled and decided to, finally, visit Medraut.
And as story ends, Harry approached me and said, “Why am I not present in the whole story? I’m supposed to be famous!” He decided to throw a tantrum but I ignored him and locked this topic.</span>

hello, writer of the longest MOAFFD, i am the wirter of the shortest! Anyway, keep up the brilliant storytelling. i just have one question for you - did Flitwick dance with the roasted pig at snapey's Luau?

:lol: Oh how I laughed!
Shame on you....it's 1:30am and I might have woken the house for the laughing I did!
Hahaha I was spot on there.

W00T for the Hula! And I'll have you know I look pretty darn good in hats, especially Acubra's. (bushranger hats)

Anyway, Just a note to say how much I cracked up on reading all that I missed.
You evil boy.....look I'm all cracked and broken now.
Hehe you'll pay, oh you'll pay. :shifty:

Edge- your evilness rocks my world! :eyebrows:

Thank you, your Evilnesseses! ^_^
I'm very sorry that i can't write anything as of the moment... My computer at home is broken...
So I have to limit myself to this free internet access in our mall, but I have to stand the whole time! :o
That's it... but I'll still be writing... :yes:
:bye:

HA!
I told you, Otus.
I am a great stalker!