JW - maybe we need to get you a Malfoy-repellent collar.

Zy - I'll keep it in mind... MA isn't THAT far, but it isn't that near either.

Lotus - how I wish that I could come to Australia. I've always wanted to go!

Kirstie - yes, I like cupcakes myself <ev> (that's my patented evil grin).

All - I'm leaving for the holiday tomorrow (yes, my family is quite insane and travels on Thanksgiving), but I'm taking all the open dares with me. I'll try to handwrite out a few in the car as entertainment (we're going to Iowa... 12 hr. drive). I like to handwrite, so don't feel sorry for me.

Maybe I can pull a Zymurgy when I get back!

You would prolly overload SS. But go for it Cass, have fun and all that.
Think Evil thoughts.

I'm back...

Because Zymurgy already trained the lovely Oliver Wood and has been so kind as to gift him to me in one of her stories, I am going to let him tell you about the latest adventures at Hogwarts.

Well, first, let me tell you that this is stupid and dumb and that lazy members of the Elite need to stop having us do their work for them. When I was Quidditch captain, I never expected everyone to blindly follow and to carry my weight. Imagine how poorly a game...

Oliver, focus. The story...?

Right-o. Anyway, Harry ahd been poking around in the Restricted Section of the library. He wasn't really looking for anything, he just had rather a penchant for mischief.

That was nicely put.

Thank you. Anyway, while poking around, Harry found an interesting spell titled Will Be Done that the author has blatently stolen from Buffy.

Hey, that's a secret!

Not anymore. Quit interrupting. Who's telling this story?

Carry on.

MORE LATER... SORRY

awwww, i wanna know what hapens to harry

its FABULOUS - in a very evil sort of way- that is

heeheehee, thanksgiving, heeeeheeeheeeeha.........

very good work - can't wait to hear more!!

(I apologize. Oliver is very disgruntled that I cut him off like that, but we had to go out. We're back now)

Harry was intrigued and, noticing that the spell only lasted 24 hours anyway, wanted to try it out. Now, despite what many say, Harry is very generous. I remember when we played Ravenclaw my 7th year, I had to tell him...

Ollie, I suggest you stop with the Quidditch stories or I shall have to give you back to Zy for more training.

Er... no. Harry decided to cast the spell on Ron as a test subject. In a best case, his best friends would finally stop being flaming idiots and fall in love. Worst case, nothing would happen and Ron would never need to know. He muttered the incantation and ran off to find Ron.

Meanwhile, Ron was stealing all the suits of armor and hiding them in random broom closets. His last detention consisted of polishing every suit in the castle. Not only was there cat hair in the polish, but the suits were ticklish and kep giggling the entire time. He wanted to keep them away from anyone who would dirty them. Apparently, it was Kirstie's idea.

Oh, I was wondering about that. She's a bright one, but quite mischievious. And she owed me a cupcake.

Now who's the interrupter? As he raced through the corridor looking for any additional suits of armor to tuck away safely, Malfoy and his cronies stepped out from behind a statue. How big are these statues that three non-tiny boys fit behind one, anyway?

"What's up, Weasel?" he said. Malfoy was never much for creative taunting. "Lost your fangirls?"

"Shut up, Malfoy." And Malfoy suddenly couldn't speak. He gestured to his goons, however, and they stomped towards Ron.

"Er... Why don't you two just fly away? Leave me alone. Please?" He was begging, the pathetic little rotter. I hope he's braver than that on the pitch because...

OLLIE!

Blah, blah, blah, Crabbe and Goyle mysteriously sprouted wings and flew off through the corridot and out of the castle. Ron watched them go and turned to Malfoy.

"Oy, your friends just flew off."

Malfoy shrugged nonchalantly. He was unconcerned.

"You cold-hearted ferret-face! Care about something for once in your pathetic life. Be passionate. And for Pete's sake, say something."

Malfoy opened his mouth with a mad glint in his pale eyes. "I don't care? You're the heartless one. How many trees had to die for that wand? For our parchment? And don't even get me started on the barbaric practices of the kitchen."

"Wha-? We had fish sticks last night. All the kitchen did was defrost them."

"Fish are friends, not food! I know what I'll do. I'll destroy the kitchens and set up a picket line and..."

Malfoy ran one way, and Ron took off as fast as he could the other, right back to the Common Room. You know, that reminds me of this move I made up once. See... one chaser dives right, and...

Ollie, later, sweetie. Diverge LATER.

Right. And don't call me Ollie. Anyway, Ron burst into the Coomon Room and collapsed in front of Harry and Hermione, who were about to set out in search of him.

"Ron? Are you alright?" He wheezed for another 5 minutes, uttering, "Malfoy... wings... fly... fish."

"Malfoy's a flying fish?" Hermione guessed finally.

"Brilliant!" Harry yelled.

"No, Crabbe and Goyle sprouted wings and flew off. And Malfoy's become some sort of bio-terrorist. And I think maybe it's my fault." He explained more but my hand is starting to cramp... so... yeah.

Harry got excited and explained the spell to his friends. Ron also got excited, and they were excited together. As for Hermione, as is to be expected from the little bush-headed...

Ollie! Be nice. What have you got against Hermione?

Nothing. She's just boring. She doesn't play Quidditch, she never does anything wrong, she's a girl...

She's a girl? So's 50% of the world. I'm a girl!

No, you aren't. You're a...

You, my friend, are on fanfic probation. Someday, you'll realize that girls are nice. And you'll love me. No, don't argue. I have a story to finish.

Hermione was shocked at Harry casting a spell on Ron without his knowing. "But I don't mind..." Ron kept saying.

"It's the principle of it."

"But I'm saying I really don't mind. It's okay," as is to be expected, Ron was yelling by now.

"Why can't you be more like..." she cast around for a paragon of masculinity. "Like Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. He's noble and good and strong and... and he doesn't seem to talk much," she sighed.

"Fine, next time you need something done, let's see Aragorn help you," Ron said sarcastically.

"What I need is..." but at her words, a man appeared in the room. He was handsome, despite his scruffiness and the fact that he needed a wash rather desperately.

"I'll save you, my lady," he rushed between Ron and Hermione brandishing a sword. "Shall I cut off his head or bleed him slowly?"

"Eep," Ron said, but the author saved him by sending a house elf to whisper to Aragorn that the fic was rated PG at most. He rolled his eyes, put away his sword, and sat on a courch by Ginny, who offered him a sugar quill then swooned.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Harry, let's get rid of the spell before I get Hermione a bloody army of beautiful men."

Harry clapped his hand over Ron's mouth and said, "It wears off in 24 hours. Just check with me before you speak."

Ron nodded and whispered (because that's not speaking *eye roll*), "But what should we do with this git?" Aragorn fingered his sword. "I mean fine, upstanding citizen."

"Let's give him to the Elite to play with."

"Should we bathe him first?"

UPDATE: Crabbe and Goyle were found wandering in the forests of Madagascar, not knowing how they got there. Draco was last seen trying close down an oil rig with only his wand and a smile. Aragorn is well-appreciated by the Elite who share him weekly.

Number 2 (Cyrene's dare):

Madam Pomfrey was an amazing woman. She could heal any wound, regrow bones, and keep even the Weasely twins from destroying the hospital wing. But sometimes even she neede a break. On this particular occasion, Madam Pomfrey became completely overwhelmed by the number of students with cursed body parts, Quidditch injuries, and students who had developed an "irrational" fear of chickens. Dumbledore kindly sent her on vacation to a deserted island that was free of chickens and children. It had a large number of coconuts, however.

Once Poppy left, in fact as soon as the fire settled in the Floor, Millicen Bulstrode hexed Hermione, causing her to say everything that ran through her over-active little brain.

"Ugly bobotuber faced girl! What'd she hit me with? I feel alright. Why's everyone looking at me like that? Must be stunned by my good looks. I'm so glad I put on that dab of makeup today like Ginny suggested. Good thing I listen to her, even if she's no where near as smart as I am. They're still staring at me. Maybe Peeves did something strange to my hair. I don't know why everyone is so down on Peeves. Wow, Peeves rocks my socks!" After managing to offend everyone within a 10-foot radius, Dumbledore managed to gag her. He shipped her off to St. Mungo's.

At the first chance, several of the professors and students visited Hermione. She was rooming in a large ward full of the victims of misfired spells. Harry regretted their visit almost as soon as he entered.

Not only was a strange girl following him around and trying to steal his glasses, but Hermione shouted, "Oy, Harry has one nasty looking pimple. He should really get it checked out while he is here." He clapped his hand onto his nose and blushed. It's only fair to tell you that his pimple was almost invisible but Hermione is a bit of a worrier. She thinks everything from split ends to dry skin needs medical help.

Meanwhile, Hermione lost interest in Harry and looked about the room. "I really should buy Ginny some new robes. Those are shabby. Snape is looking particularly greasy today - I wonder how he still manages to be so dead sexy. Look at how many people came to see me! Maybe they missed me and will let me leave this place soon. I haven't got a single decent thing to read. Oh, there's Ron. I think I..." But Harry gagged her with his free hand. Ginny and Snape looked fairly red in the face, and Ron looked on curiously.

Dumbledore'e eyes twinkled and he jumped onto an empty bed. "And now for a blatent diversionary tactic. Macarenaius!" The music from the Macarena filled the ward and he began to dance. Despite his age, the man had some serious moves. Everyone cheered and danced along. *Pause for cheesy, bonding moment*

ohmigod, its so funny

poor Oliver, he didnt get to finish his story. :ermsmile:

its so cool

and very evil
*insert evil jig here*

Two candy stripers (for the uninformed - hospital volunteers) entered the ward with dinner. Everyone was quite surprised to see the author and Cyrene pushing the trolley and looking rather adorable.

"Cass! Cyrene!" Dumbledore shouted, making the girls cringe because he was jumping on the bed right next to them. "What a pleasant surprise."

"What are you doing here?" Harry shouted, and the author wished people would stop shouting right by her ear. "You're evil."

"Hey, evil people are people too," Cyrene commented, and Cass nodded in agreement but mentally rolled her eyes.

"I hate those two," a man fumed. "Everything they bring me tastes like jello." Hermione grunted in agreement. Harry thought she was making another comment about his pimple and clapped the other hand over his face.

"That's because everything is jello," Cass said apologetically. "Look, chicken-flavored jello, green bean-flavored jello, and the house speciality, jello-flavored jello." Everyone turned the same shade as the green bean jello.

"So," Ron tried to distract himself again by talking randomly with the nearest person, who happened to be the girl trying to snatch Harry's glasses. "What are you in for?" Hermione shot him a scandalized look, the effect was marred by the fact that she was gagged.

"I have this enormous rash," she bragged. "They've never seen anything like it. I'm to be in all sorts of medical journals."

Cyrene rolled her eyes. "She thinks she has a rash, so she scratches herself all day, all over her body. It's one of those psychological itches in all the places you can't reach. Nasty hex... she's been here for 2 years."

"Bloody..." Ron breathed in awe. Then he looked at Harry and they grinned. "Ron, don't swear," they both shouted in high voices. Hermione glared and the Eliters cringed.

"Well," Cass broke in, noting that pretty much everyone in the room was glaring at someone. "Perhaps this would be an excellent time for you to leave. The doctors should be finished de-hexing her tomorrow, and we'll send a kinder, gentler Hermione home to you."

"You can do that?" Ron asked.

"This is a hospital," Cass explained. "We can undo any spells, for the most part."

"Oh," Ron said to Harry as they were leaving. "I thought they were going to make a Hermione who didn't nag about homework."

"Talk about a medical miracle."

Last, but not least...

Remus Lupin seldom regretted being rehired by Dumbledore. He loved teaching, he enjoyed children, he didn't have to live out of trashcans anymore - there wre innumberable reasons why being a Hogwarts professor was the ideal profession. There were days, and this was one of them, in which Lupin wanted to send Dumbledore along to St. Mungo's or go forever into hiding on a deserted island populated by coconuts.

Today, Lupin had to play counselor to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, due to Dumbledore's current obsession with Muggle psychology. He wanted everyone to confront and embrace their fears about Voldemort. Unfortunately for Lupin, this meant that he was elected, being the only professor with sanity and patience, to hold these sessions.

Winky, serving as his secretary, nervously ushered Molly and Arthur in. Both were wearing robes and Molly grasped a navy umbrella nervously in her hands.

"Is is raining, Molly?" Remus asked pleasently, trying to put her at ease.

"What?" she suddenly noticed the umbrella. "No, this is our portkey to Hogwarts. Did you know you can't apparate on school grounds?"

"I had heard that," Remus said smoothly. "Now, let's just jump right in, shall we?" Why are we here?"

"Now, Remus dear, if your mum didn't explain this to you, I suggest you Floo her. It's hard enough explaining these things to our own children. Ron, in particular..."

"Molly!" Arthur interrupted. "Remus wants to know why we are meeting with him at Hogwarts today."

Remus was beginning to think this would be worse than his session with the Grangers, in which they had discussed proper flossing techniques.

"Why didn't you say so, dear? We're here because we got the letter you sent by owl. Surely you remember..."

"How would you say your marriage is being affected by Voldemort?" he said bluntly. Both looked startled at the use of the dreaded v-word.

"Oh, um... nothing is different," Molly said with confusion.

"Yes, we love each other very much."

Remus looked bored. "Clearly you are repressing yoru marital woes. Let's look at this ink splotches. Tell me what they look like to you."

"A half-knitted sweater."

"A flying Ford Anglia."

"A flying Ford Anglia crashing into a tree with our son and Harry inside, you mean!"

"Yes, exactly! You see it too!"

"Excellent. How do you feel, Molly?" Perhaps this would be even more interesting then the time Narcissa Malfoy tried to seduce him after he'd suggested Draco needed a replacement father figure.

"I don't know. Tired. A bit hungry. Do you have any of those little sandwiches?"

"No, I mean how do you feel about your family's safety?"

"Why? What have you heard, Remus?"

Remus groaned and said, "Perhaps if we bring the children in." He opened the door and Ginny, Ron, and the twins bounced in.

"Well, now, is this everyone?"

"Yep," Fred said.

"Except for Bill, who's on a trip for Dumbledore," Ginny added.

"And Charlie, who's stuck in Romania with a nesting dragon," Ron reminded.

"And Percy, who's a flaming git," George nodded sagely.

"George!" Molly scolded and hit him with her umbrella.

"He's not George, I am," Fred said impishly.

"I won't fall for that again," she said and hit him with the umbrella as well.

"Settle down, please," Remus yelled and got swatted with the umbrella. They all stared at him in distress, hoping he wasn't mad about the whole being-hit-by-umbrella incident. "Now, I'd like to talk about yoru emotional well-being since You-Know-Who returned."

"I, for one," Ginny examined her fingernails, "feel fine. I was thinking of inviting him to my birthday party. He'd look splendid in that little paper hat, don't you think?"

"Brilliant," said the twins.

"Ginny!" Molly shrieked and took at swipe with her umbrella.

"Oh no you don't!" Ginny snatched the umbrella and swung in like a sword.

"Don't play with that, Ginny," Molly warned as Ginny fumbled to open the umbrella.

"You know, it's bad luck to open an umbrella inside," Ron muttered.

"The rain it rainest all around,
Upon the just and unjust fella,
But chiefly on the just because
The unjust stole the just's umbrella," the twins recited together. Loudly.

"That was brilliant," George said excitedly. "We're veen waiting to recite that for years. Thanks, Gin."

"No pro-" just as Ginny managed to open the umbrella, she vanished.

"See, bad luck," Ron grumbled.

"Now, please -" but Snape burst into the room.

"Stop! Did you know you need a special license to do this sort of thing? It's not only against the law... it's wrong! It's not a nice thing to do! People wouldn't understand... HE wouldn't understand!"

"Who's 'he'?" Molly asked.

"Dumbledore."

"You are aware this was Dumbledore's idea?" Remus questioned.

"Right-o. Carry on, then." The door slammed shut behind him.

"So..." Lupin looked awkward. "Everyone okay?" They nodded. "Everyone still love each other?" They glanced around and nodded. "Right... well..." A bell rang and Remus sighed with relief. "Session's over. See you next week."

"What? Next week? We-"

"Sorry, no time to talk." He pushed everyone out the door and Winky poked her head in as tehy disappeared, arguing about how to get home without a portkey.

"Sir, the Dursleys and Harry Potter is waiting."

"Winky, bring me a firewhiskey. A big one."

lol, keep going, it's great
and very evil

okay...

Kirstie's:
*Aragorn from LOTR must appear and save somebody's life
* Malfoy must say, "Fish are friends, not food."
*someone must sprout wings and fly away
*My name must come up in conversation
*All the suits of armor must get stolen by...

Cyrene's:
*Dumbledore must do the Macarena
*everyone must really like this
*Harry must obsess over a zit on his nose throughout the story
*Soemoen must develop an itch in an embarassing place
*Someone must say "Wow! Peeves really rocks my socks!"
*The author and at least on other EE member must make an appearance.
*must be set at St. Mungo's

Zy's:
*someone must steal an umbrella
*someone must recite:The rain it raineth all around,
Upon the just and unjust fella,
But chiefly on the just because
The unjust stole the just's umbrella
*Prof. Lupin must have a job as a marriage counselor
*Mr. and Mrs. Weasley go for counseling
*Snape says, "It's not only against the law... it's wrong! It's not a nice thing to do! People wouldn't understand... HE wouldn't understand!"


Hope you enjoyed them... they made my car ride enjoyable.

I enjoyed them. particurlary the last one, but they were all wonderful, in an evil sorta way!!

Haaa!!! That was just plain evil!!! Yay Cass!!lalalalala!!!! :flowersmile:

Hoiq - I think I enjoyed the last one the most myself! Sometimes, someone's dare takes on a life of its own and you can just have a lot of fun with it.

So, thanks Zy! I had a lot of fun writing that one (although the other two were fun as well).

Hahahaha, You tell him Cass, they have to learn somehow.
They were all great, love your work!

Yay, we get Aragorn. When's my turn?

excellent work Cassirin!! keep up the evil work!! :sorcerer:
:sorcererdragon:

yes, now do write more

that was my favourite bit ^

Oh... I'm sick! Oh... I need lots of love! Please, love me! Here's the first bit. I have to run away now, but I'll be back!

Hermione Granger, for one of the first times in her life, was undecided. It was something little - whether or not to be happy that Viktor was coming back to Hogwarts - but for Hermione, any indecision or unknown was to be feared. In fact, she was much more concerned about the fact that she was concerned than she was actually concerned about anything worth concerning.

The fact of the matter was, Hermione liked Viktor well enough. He was polite, he made her feel like a princess, he had a sexy foreign accent (let's be honest... foreign accents are sexy), and he made Ron act as if he were *laugh* jealous. Sometimes, a girl likes to dream that someone could be jealous of a little masculine attention. She certainly didn't want to date him though. For all his good qualities, he was appallingly boring and couldn't say her name. Plus, there was that whole incident in which he had tried to trick her into dancing the traditional Bulgarian Broom Wedding Dance. As if she wanted to be married before she had at least 3 PhD's!

Added to the fact that Krum just didn't GET it, there was also the fact that he made everyone act a little crazy, whether from fan mania or for other reasons. Harry was slightly normal around him, but Harry was famous too, and he was depressingly normal in just about any situation. As for Ron... best not think about that.

Viktor hadn't even bothered to owl her to let her know he was coming. She had to find out just like everyone else at dinner. And then everyone in the entire hall had looked at her as if they expected her to suddenly burst into song or tears or perhaps both simultaneously. As if she cried in public!

*Hermione pokes the author with her wand.*

Sorry, what?

"A little less drama, a little more plot, please. I'm beginning to make myself sick."

Right. So, Viktor Krum came to Hogwarts. It was similar to the last visit. Girls stalked him in the hallway. Everyone from Flitwick to Dennis Creevey asked him to sign their books, their bags, their quills (which was quite a feat), and their foreheads.

But as everyone stalked Viktor, he stalked Hermione. He followed her from class to class. He sat one table over in the library and Great Hall. He even tried to follow her into the Common Room, but the Fat Lady chewed his ear off for half an hour instead.

Finally, although Hermione was ever so patient and could really stand things for quite a long time, she snapped. In the middle of the corridor, her bag split from the heavy load. Harry and Ron crawled about on the floor, grabbing up quills and remarkably not grousing about being late because of her bag. Ron had been strangely well-behaved the past few days, although his ears did turn that adorable shade of red whenever he saw or heard any mention of "that Quidditch player, you know.... Viktor Krum!"

Hermione looked up to see a hand holding out her Potions text. She murmured a thanks and scrabbled to her feet, only to discover that Viktor had been attached to that hand. He silently moved 4 feet away from her and paused, as if waiting for her to keep moving.

"What are you doing, Viktor?" Hermione yelled. Everyone in the corridor stopped immediately. It was worth being late for class to see the ever-calm Hermione Granger blow her frizzy top. Even the ghosts, who were always hungry for a good bit of gossip (seeing as how they couldn't eat at all... I suppose they're hungry for just about anything), hovered expectantly above the hall.

"I thought we were friends, but you didn't tell me you were coming! And now you're following me about like some sort of bodyguard. What are you doing here?"

Everyone looked around in surprise, because they realized they had never considered what Viktor Krum was doing back at Hogwarts. Even the author was surprised.

"I haf a present for you. I haf been learning English. It is better, no?"

"Better than what?"

"Better than previous. I haf not been ready to gif you da present, but I will soon do so. Hokay?"

Hermione blinked at him a few times. "Ho... I mean okay."

"Did his English sound better to you?" Harry whispered as Krum finally left them in peace.

"Oh, was he speaking English?" Ron snarked, his ears that cute red color. "I didn't even notice."

Hermione stopped in the hallway. "Has anyone seen my wand?" She patted her hair where she often absentmindedly stuck it, then patted down her body. "I can't find my wand." She looked inside her robes.

"Er... Hermione? Could you please stop doing that?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, this fic is rated PG, and Cass is giving us the evil "no-nudity" eye."

She rolled her eyes. "Boys!"

Yay, yay, yay!!
I love the way you did Victor, what IS he doing there?

:wub: Love, Love for Cass who is sick.
Pleeze write more soon, I get all excited when I see you've updated. :mrgreenbounce:

HAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Its my dare!!! OMG! I can't wait for the card!!! Roses are---wait, I won't give it away... ....this shall be evil...In pink tights of coure. *of course* agrees the little voice in my head. Okay, so I'll check back for more later!!! Keep it up cass!!! :sorcerer:

Ugh... I'm still sick, and I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. But now I'm banned from doing just about anything, so I had time to come and see all my little Evil-doers.

Hermione still had not managed to find her wand after several periods, and she was very disgruntled about it. Although she only had Potions and Ancient Runes, neither of which actually required the use of her wand, Hermione was sure the professors KNEW she didn't
have her wand about her and were going to penelize her for it. Hadn't Snape seemed especially scary this afternoon?

The final class of the day was Care of Magical Creatures. Hermione was certain that Hagrid was shooting her disappointed looks as he talked.

"Today, I 'ave a special surprise for all of you," Hagrid said, leading them around to a fenced in area holding a small dragon. The class, including Ron, was surprised to see Charlie Weasley sitting on the fence looking quite rugged and handsome. *sigh*

Suddenly, Zymurgy appeared to poke the author. "Um... Cass?"

"What?"

"The other Eliters and I took a vote, and we've decided that we are quite frightened by you going all fangirl on us, especially about a secondary character who hasn't done anything major or appeared for very long in any books. We demand that you cease and desist."

"But look at him... he's all... Charlie-ish."

Zy looks over to the fence. "Yes, quite nice. Don't you have something you should be doing now?"

"Um... I need to do some laundry."

"Maybe a story to finish?"

"Right."

Ron raced over to the fence. "Charlie? What are you doing here? Did you come all this way just to show the class a dragon?"

Charlie ruffled Ron's hair and hopped off the fence to join the class. "We just bred these new non-fire breathing dragons. This one is named Rudolph. The other dragons are really mean to him. Laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any
dragon games. We decided he needed a good home, and who better than our favorite lover of odd animals?"

"You brought Hagrid a dragon? Are you mad?"

"Eh, probably. There is a lack of the niceties in Romania that causes a man to be a little crazy after a while."

On spotting Hermione and Harry, Charlie greeted them and then said to Hermione, "Oh, I almost forgot. That dodgy foreign chappy asked me to give this to you." He handed her a long, thin package.

She ripped it open, to discover her wand laying inside. "My wand? Wha-?" It looked the same, except for some words engraved in a curly script on the side. "The cows in Spain fly mainly in the plain," she read off the side.

"Yeah, I would say his English is great," Ron said sarcastically.

"My WAND!" Hermione screeched, causing several students to cover their ears and the young dragon to go berzerk. She turned and ran from class, causing quite a few jaws to drop. Hermione Granger skipping class? The world was upside down.

"Viktor!" Hermione screeched, running through the halls of the castle. He appeared from behind a statue, making her start in surprise and fall over.

From the floor, she yelled, "Viktor Krum! What did you do to my wand?"

"It is my present to you, Her-my-own-ninny. It is a traditional saying in my country used to tell of big feelings," Krum explained, turning quite red.

"What?" Hermione was a smart girl, but she was having some trouble understanding what he was talking about. "What are you telling me?"

"I haf told you before. I am marrying you someday. I haf wrote you a poem." He handed her a card. The outside was a delicate watercolor painting of house elves decorating a Christmas tree with socks. Inside was the message, "Roses are reddish, Violets are
bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish."

"Um... it's lovely," Hermione was very confused. "But... it's April. Why a Christmas card?"

"It took me a long time to write it. I am not very good with the English sometimes, but it is getting to be better. But, Her-my-own-ninny, I am telling you that I am loving you forever!"

With a flash of red hair, Ron appeared from nowhere and tackled Viktor. Apparently, he and Harry had followed Hermione up from the grounds and had found her just as Viktor made his declaration of undying love. While Hermione and Harry looked on in mild surprise (afterall, Ron was a bit... hasty), Ron and Viktor rolled around on the floor, yelling loud and unintelligable things.

Finally, they pryed them apart. "Stop, stop," Hermione said, using her infuriatingly logical tone. "Someone will just get hurt and that's pointless."

Both boys lay on the floor, panting from the exertion. Hermione crossed her arms and gave them a glare that reminded Ron eerily of his mother.

"Ron, go to your room! No, don't argue... go!" He sulked away. "Harry, you go too."

"But I didn't..."

"I don't care. GO!" Harry high-tailed it out of there.

"Viktor." He looked at her expectantly. "I... I'm flattered by your feelings for me, but I just want to be friends."

"Yah," he nodded in agreement, making Hermione want to do an Irish step dance in celebration. Except she didn't know how, so she didn't. "It is very important for a husband and a wife to be friends. I want to be your friend too."

"No," her heart sank. "Um... I don't want to marry you. I'm too young."

"I will wait forever for you."

"I'm already seeing someone," she blurted out in exasperation. Viktor stared at her wordlessly, then got to his feet.

"I see. I will be going back to Bulgaria." He began to shuffle off, but Hermione suddenly felt a pang of guilt.

"Viktor, I'd like to introdue you to friend of mine. I know for a fact that she like Quidditch players."

They moved off down the hall together. "What his her name?"

"Cho."

Yes, isn't it glaringly obvious. I don't like Cho!

Dare:
1) Someone must write a christmas card that says the following: "Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish." And then give it to someone.
2) "The cows in spain fly mainly in the rain." must be engraved on wand. Who's? It's your decision...
3) Viktor krum must come to visit Hermione, which obviously...well, makes things not so nice, if you catch my drift...
4)And finally, Charlie must come home from Romania and bring Hagrid a legal dragon *cough, cough*

teeheeheeheehee!!! Couldn't have done it better myself!!! Haha, that was side splitting!!!(that seemed like something my grandma would say, so....right. I'll shut up now. :unsure: )

Neway...Viktor needs to work on his English. He made the wand say "the cows in Spain fly mainly in the plain" instead of, "the cows in Spain fly mainly in the rain." Maybe its cuz 'Plain' is the word they use for marriage and all that good stuff...wutever.. I'm happy. U did my dare justice!!!

P.S. My mommy bought my Pirates of the Carribean on DVD!!! yay, I just finished watching it!!!