Very good I must say!! Well done

*runs from her spectacularly busy and anoying life JUST to read your ficcie* WOW! *runs back to tear hear over line 6, scene 2*

Mwhahahaha!!! evilness.... ....I SAW THE PoA TRAILER!!! Woooooppeeeeeeee!!!!!! lalallalalalal!!!! I feel pretty, oh so pretty! so pretty and witty and..........nope don't feel that....teehee....more soon porfavor.....Spanish test Friday..wish me luck!!!!!!!! TRALALAAAA!!! Captain Underpants rocks!!!! :sorcerer:

Hahaha, Cass did you read mine yet?
You are right about not reading somone elses till your's is finished, other wise I might have nicked a few of your funny plot lines.

Keeheehee. POINTY SHOES!!!!!!

Sorry... always forget to do this...
1. Some one in Slytherin must be kicked out and Snape and Dumbledore don't do it
2. The school becomes overrun with some kind of animal
3. A boy must run through the castle shrieking like a girl
4. Someone must leave the school to go on a reality show
5. Snitchsneeker must come up in the story 5 times!

i love it! especially the bit where Draco's calls the other slytherins Quacks!!

classic!

Let us fly, once again, on a trip to the past. The Marauders, as we enter a little too quickly through the ceiling and think about losing our lunch, were glaring. This happens quite often, but today was special because they are glaring at each other. Remus was glaring at Sirius because he thought that Sirius had made one too many jokes about Peter's intelligence. Sirius was glaring at Remus because Remus yelled at him. James was glaring at both of them because they simply did not appreciate that he NEEDED to study to get into the potions class that Lily was in. And Peter glared because they were all glaring and making him late for dinner.

There was lots of glaring and not much talking until the author poked Remus in the back. She poked him because he seemed like the sensible one. Fortunately, she was right and he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Look, this is stupid. We've already missed dinner; let's go get some food from the kitchen." Sirius didn't speak, but he did stand and gather his materials together. James stood too, clutching a tall stack of Potions texts. Peter actually leapt across the room and held the portrait open for them.

In the corridors, the boys tried to move quickly and quietly. There were all these stupid rules about not being out and about while everyone was sleeping or eating or in class or... blah. Stupid rules were just begging to be broken. When they heard the voice of a professor, the boys ducked into the nearest doorway.

It was actually a large group of professors, heading back to their workroom or lounge or whatever they call it and chatting loudly about some upcoming party.

"And I'm bringing the punch," Madam Hooch was saying, "And what is Hagrid in charge of? Ah, yes... the theme."

"Not the staff-party theme, again..." McGonagal groaned. "Last year, it was walking in a Kelpie wonderland. I stepped in kelpie dung 4 times."

Hagrid appeared next to her. "Don' worry, Minny. This year we are having a slumber party!" And he put a pillow over his head.

McGonagal pretended to ignore him. "Albus, the house elves informed me that one of the roosters for dinner escaped. Should we organize a search party?"

"It's only a chicken - it's no big deal," Dumbledore responded with one of his copyrighted infuriating shrugs.

The rest of this dare...

The boys turned around with relief once the professors were past. Two things happened simultaneously. One, they all remembered they were mad at each other and stopped looking so chummy and relieved, and two, they realized they were hiding in a girls' bathroom.

Sirius, being who he was, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to explore what he had always considered to be the inner sanctum of the mystery that was woman. He went to play with the taps, expecting the water to be either scented or chocolate flavored. Mmmm... chocolate.

Remus and Peter were frantic. What if they got caught? Not only out and about after hours but also in a girls' bathroom. This would be detentions for weeks! James merely pulled up a square of tile and began to study for potions. They all looked up at a startled yell from Sirius. Floating above the taps was the ghost of a young girl... Moaning Myrtle. Honestly, if you didn't know that, open a book!

"What are you doing in here? You're boys..." the girl started, but became startled herself when a chicken suddenly ran out of one stall and into another. "Did you bring that chicken in here to torment me?" She burst into noisy tears and disappeared into a toilet.

"I think I just figured something out," said James looking as if he had just figured something out. "All girls are batty. Even the dead ones."

"I heard that," came a wet splashy response. The author also kicked him with her pointy shoes.

The chicken reappeared, pecking around the base of one of the sinks. Now, somehow, strangely, and unbelievably, this was a specially trained warrior chicken from the author's own squad of Snitchseeker chickens (yes, I KNOW that that was the last story... shush). This was the linguistics chicken who happened to be specially trained in Parseltongue. The chicken bawked a few words, and the giant hole opened up.

The author is tired of typing chicken and is going to name it Binky. Binky turned around and looked at the Marauders before jumping down the hole. Believing it to be the newest and most obscure of all secret passages to Hogsmeade, the boys foolishly followed.

At the bottom, the boys were startled by the bones and giant skin.

"What do you think made that?" asked Remus. Sirius had his eyes covered and kept muttering, "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist..."

Suddenly, the room widened and the boys entered just in time to see a giant snake slither down.

"That blasted bird called that big snakey thing," Sirius shouted.

The author yelled, "His name is Binky," just as Remus said, "That's a basilisk. Crack a book occasionally."

Realizing that Binky and the boys (ooo... sounds like a really bad band name!) were in danger, the author grabbed the basilisk by the tail to hold it up. The Marauders quickly turned around and tried to run away. Sirius, trying to be clever, picked up Binky and threw it at the basilisk, who promptly ate it.

"NO!" the author screamed. "He had a name! You can't eat things that have a name! My warrior linguistics chicken!"

The Marauders, ignoring the cries, kept running until they arrived back in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. The author can't explain to you how they got up that long slide-y thing, because she was crying over her lost chicken. However, once in the bathroom, they all looked at each other, wide-eyed and panting.

"Let's never speak of this day again."

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Poor Binky!

First of all, "Stupid rules were just begging to be broken." I love that!
And this, "You can't eat things that have a name! My warrior linguistics chicken!"

BINKY!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Binky was a good chicken, *sniff* she was willing to risk her life for her duty. *sniff, snort* She was the best linguistics chicken I ever knew. We'll miss her, Goodbye Binky Bo Buck. (full name)
*hangs head in respect*

yes lets not! poor binky! *sniff* we must be brave for Cassirin, Lotus!
*sniff* but i can't! but good job!

And the blah, blah, blah...

1.Hagrid must wear a pillow on his head.
2.McGonagol must say, "Not the Staff-party theme again...."
3.Dumbledore must say, "It's only chicken- it's no big deal,"
4.A rooster must go missing.
5.The Chamber Of Secrets must be discovered by the Marauders.
6.The Basilisk must eat a Chicken.

NOOOOOOOOO POOR BINKY!!! Btw, where did u get that name cuz that was my old dog's name(who was a pug with a smushed nose... [duh..]) *tear* she died a year or two ago....I'm dedicating that dare to her...k? In loving memory of Binky the pug...(renamed Binky Bo Buck by Lotus because she converted into one of Cass's chickens...) Okay, I'm finished mourning...Mwahahaha!!! that was good!!!

It sounded chicken-ish and kind of like a house elf name. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you all saddish!

Updating soon.

New and improved...

"It isn't fair," Lavender Brown murmured to herself. All the other Gryffs were happily completing homework or planning dangerous escapades or declawing their cats. Several were chasing chickens that had mysteriously appeared and should not be mentioned anymore in this fic (but that isn't a promise). But back to Lavender's internal rant...

"Everyone else has these amazing adventures and has fics written about them. I've only had about one line so far and the author keeps sticking me in the background. I'm interesting. I'm pretty. I'm... what am I talking about? Oh, yeah... I deserve my own fic!"

The author, tired of the Hogwarts prima donnas and resolving to set her fic somewhere in a galaxy far far away, rolled her eyes. "Psst... Lavender. Lavender...! If you want a fic about you, you need to do something interesting." With that, the author leaned back, resolved not to talk anymore because it just isn't DONE, and watched the fic unfold.

Lavender, ever the optimist, immediately perked up at this bit of information. She jumped out of the chair, picked up a chicken, and headed for the door.

"Hey, Lav, where you going?" Seamus asked, all of their attention grabbed by Lavender talking to herself then leaping about the room with a chicken in hand.

"I'm taking this chicken to go and feed to the basilisk in a show of reckless danger and adventurous spirit. Then they'll let me be important in a story."

Harry gave her "the look." "First, that plot line was already done. It isn't even creative, because it was done yesterday. Second, I wouldn't do anything to the chickens. We're supposed to ignore them. They belong to Cassirin, and she's still mourning the one that died yesterday."

Lav threw the chicken at a wall in a fit of temper and lost about 10 points from the author... who just realized she wasn't even keeping score. "Fine, then... I'll become the ultimate school prankster and put everyone to shame with my creative and vindictive talents."

"Um... yeah, about that," Ginny interrupted. "Also been quite overdone in various fanfictions. And it's really hard to surprise us when you've just announced your intentions of going evil."

Lav kicked the poor defenseless chicken that wandered too close. The author closed her eyes and counted to twenty. Then thirty. Then she thwipped Lavender on the ear.

While Lav rubbed her now red ear, Hermione spoke up. "Lavender, maybe you are trying to hard. Why don't you go with your strengths?"

Her brow creased momentarily, and then she shouted, "I know! I'll go with my strengths." And she ran from the Common Room.

teehee...very evil... ...Please, don't feel sorry for my rantings earlier...I just felt like saying something cuz...I felt like saying something...Oh yeah, wasn't lavenders rabbit that died named Binky? In PoA? I could've sworn it was....Oh well...this is sooo funny Cass!!! hehe. THE CHICKENS!!! *runs off in evil bright pink tights* why? Cuz i'm EVIL!!! mwahahahah!!! :sorcerer:

The rest...

Later that night, when pretty much everyone had completely forgotten about Lavender and didn't even realize she was still missing, a small group of Gryffindors headed to the kitchen for some late night snacking.

In front of them hovered an unfamiliar female ghost, wearing a flowery dress in bright reds and blues, a hat with fruit on it, and pointy shoes the author recognized as her own. Looking closely at the ghost's bizarre face, which was silvery gray with garish makeup on it, the decided it looked very much like...

"Peeves?" they all shouted in disbelief. Despite how... strangely attractive... he looked in the dress, he also looked quite miserable.

"Can't take it off," he whined. "Can't find my bow tie. Can't surprise Mrs. Norris. She sprayed me with perfume!"

"Who sprayed you?" Ron asked. "Who did this to you?"

"That would be me," Lavender appeared from around a corner. "You told me to go with my strengths."

"And your strengths are to torture ghosts?"

"NO! My strength is the makeover. It isn't my fault he wouldn't cooperate. Besides, the sticking charm will wear off in a day, and the perfume will wear off... eventually. Come on, admit it. He looks good!"

No one was willing to admit anything, although Peeves was quite pretty now. "Erm... well... um... maybe the author..."

"Those are MY shoes!" the author screeched.

Lavender looked around for a chicken to abuse. "I just... I just want to be in a fic." She began to cry, and Harry, being the unfortunate one standing next to her, patted her awkwardly on the back.

She grabbed the front of his shirt. "Harry... do you find me bootylicious?"

"Um... I find you crazy. Have you been drinking?"

"Do you mean crazy in the charming and fan fictionable way?"

"Actually, I mean crazy in the slightly scary way." He pried her fingers off his shirt.

"Would you consider kissing lessons?"

"Would you consider therapy?"

Lavender groaned and threw herself into the wall... no chickens in sight.

"What she doesn't get," Hermione said, "was that this entire fic was actually all about her. So she was successful. Unconscious, but successful."

The author smiled. "It's good to be evil."

Mwahhahaha!!!! Brilliant Cass!!! yay!!! o btw, feel free to let the chickens run around wherever they like in my fics...thanks for readin!!! that was brilliant!!! MWAHAHAH!!!! evil

lol :flowersmile:
veeeeery funny
and evil
so evil that i've been reading this all afternoon and i forgot to have lunch
shame on you, depriving a not-so-growing-anymore girl of her avacado and lettuce

Cass your Evilness knows no bounds! I love it.

Mwahaha... learned that from Zy...

While Colin Creevey may have been an excellent photographer, a great older brother, and quite the adorable little freckled kid (or so we've heard through the grapevine), he rather stank at stalking. He thought he was just a good friend of Harry's who was very impressed with all of said boy's accomplishments, but let's call it what it was. He was a stalker. And not a very good one. He was always where Harry was, carrying a camera and trying to capture the boy in action. He once even picked up a half eaten apple and began to pocket it before Ginny positively withered him with one of her withering stares that wither.

So, Colin was doing his usual tedious thing one day (waiting for Harry to come down from his dorm room) when *gasp, surprise, shock and dismay* Harry came down from his dorm room.

"Harry, Harry! Look!" Colin zipped across the room and waved a huge potions text in front of Harry's face. This was rather a pointless action since Harry was far sighted and couldn't even figure out whether Colin was waving a book or a huge hairbrush-eating Yipyip. He was hoping it wasn't a Yipyip.

Harry grabbed Colin's arm and pried it from his face. "What?" he yelled. "I mean... what have you got there, Colin?"

Colin's potions text was covered with a huge glossy photo of Harry who was trying to hide around the edges of the book.

"You made me a book cover?" Harry looked appalled. "You could have at least made me the cover of a Quidditch book. Potions? That's... that's just mean. I'd rather be trampled by Voldemort's deadly herd of rhinos then cover a potions book."

"Shut up, Harry," Hermione jabbed him with her abnormally sharp elbows. "Don't you know how to pick your battles? It's lovely, Colin, dear. Now run along."

"No, this is Harry's book. I decorated it for him," Colin pushed the huge tome with a grimacing Harry back towards him.

"You put a picture of me on my own book!" Harry began to yell but saw that sharp elbow aiming for his ribs again. He forced a smile. "Thanks, Colin. That was really considerate of you." Then he murmured, "And I'll be forced to feed you to the squid if Malfoy sees this."

Harry and Hermione, soon joined by Ron, headed from the room. Harry tried to remove the cover, only to find that it was stuck on with a sticking charm. As they settled in potions, he leaned casually on his book. "Give me your quill, Hermione."

"Where's yours?"

"Just give it to me!"

Hermione dug through her bag and gave a little moan. "Darn, I'm out of pink highlighters!"

"What do you need... Nevermind. I don't care. Ron, give me your quill." He began to attempt to deface his potions book.

Of course, his random jabbings at his text book did not go unnoticed by everyone's favorite evil Slytherin.

"Hey, look, everyone! Potty has a picture of himself on his book. And he's trying to decapitate himself. What's wrong, Potty? Having a bad hair day?"

Harry sighed. "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this." And he cast a curse. It hit Draco, as well as a few random Slytherins who are needed to round out the humorous, curse-induced scene.

Draco picked up a ladle from Neville's pot and transfigured it into a microphone. "One, two, three, four..."

" That old black magic has me in its spell, that old black magic that you weave so well.
Those icy fingers up and down my spine
That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine.
The same old tingle that I feel inside, and then that elevator starts its ride
And down and down I go, round and round I go, like a leaf that's caught in the tide.
I should stay away, but what can I do?
I hear your name and I'm aflame
Aflame with such a burning desire that only your kiss can put out the fire.
For you're the lover I have waited for, the mate that fate had me created for.
And every time your lips meet mine, darling, down and down I go, round and round I go
In a spin, loving the spin I'm in, under that old black magic called love."

Draco sang, and his fellow Slytherins swooped and bopped and "oooed" along with him.

"Frank Sinatra?" Hermione asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Classic choice..." Harry said. "Watch the dramatic finale!"

At the end, Draco and the three Slytherins all attempted the splits. The pain from non-flexibility snapped the four out of their spell and they all toppled over.

"50 points from... Slytherin," Snape snapped. OH! Say that 3 times fast! Sorry... "for inappropriately executed splits." And Snape did a perfect splits on the floor, to the Gryffindors' shock and approval.

And the dare, from me4ron:

* somebody must say ' darn, i'm out of pink highlighters'
* somebody has to use a microphine.
* there must be a reference to Voldemorts heard of deadly rhinos
* somebody must have Harry Potter book covering
* at least five people must attempt to do the splits
* there must be a song-dance routine featured in it.


Please let me know you read this... any old note will do.

And I love Frank Sinatra.

HA! Snape doing the splits!
Oh, you crack me up. *falls to pieces*
LOOK what you've done, i'm all broken now! >

lol! What's wrong Potty! lol!
funny, funny! evilness is in the air...
I can feel it.... :whisle: