Hey Cass!

I finally made it through all of your stories. It took me a while though and quite a few stares at my feebel attempts to choke back laughter

I can't wait to read your next dare!

Awww... look at all the love I get . I'm on a brief hiatus until my MoAFF is done, but I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, everyone should go and read the MoAFFs and vote. They'll be up in a few days.

Yuv you all!

Alright... MoAFF posting has begun, so I recommend you all high tail it over there : Mother of All Fan Fic Contest

Here is my entry:

Despite it being a rather chilly day, the students were in high spirits. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and no amount of bad weather could keep them from roving from shop to shop and generally making trouble and having a good time.

Severus Snape staggered down the main street, clutching a broom and mumbling to himself. Many students had spotted Snape's antics, but no one dared to approach him. This author guesses that Snape could fall down dead in the street, and the students would still avoid him for fear of losing house points from his ghost. Finally, Snape sank onto a bench in front of the owl post office, pulled off his shoe and sock, and made a sock puppet. "Bother, bother, bother," he mumbled to himself.

Out of nowhere appeared a Muggle police officer, looking very stern. He tutted at Snape's puppet show and pulled out a ticket book. "This is shameful behavior. Drunk in public... There are children in town, sir!"

Snape squinted at the officer and made a lame attempt to put his sock back on. It ended up on his ear. "Don't be ridick-a-lus! I'm not... hey, can I wear your hat?"

The officer rolled his eyes. "Look. I'm going to have to take you into the station. Let's go..."

"Wha'd I do?" asked Snape, shrugging so hard he fell over. The officer helped him up and eyed his broom.

"That's a very nice broom. Does it clean well?"

Snape, even in his impaired state, was quite put out with this Muggle insulting his lovely racing broom. "Don't be... shilly. This is the finest racing broom they make. You don't sweep with it! You RIDE on it." He looked lovingly at the broom and cooed, "Aren't you, Annabelle? You're such a pretty broom..."

The police officer shook his head. "No way. That broom is for cleaning. Brooms don't fly."

Snape hopped on the broom and kicked off, hovering about two feet above the ground. The officer grabbed Snape off his broom, sending him tumbling to the ground. He attached handcuffs to his wrist and struggled to pull him to his feet. "We're going to take a little trip to the jail. You should know better than to drive while under the influence..."

As the two disappeared down the street, with Snape really doing as much leaning as walking, four students appeared from an alley way.

"Great," Hermione said. "Now we have to go rescue Snape from Muggle jail. I have books I could be buying..."

"Why do we have to rescue him?" Ron asked. "Let's leave him there."

"Maybe because we're good Gryffindors who care about people, not evil snakes who don't," Ginny suggested.

"Maybe because we're the ones who spiked his butterbeer and made him act like a drunken, slobbering fool in the first place," Hermione added.

"Maybe because we haven't done something needlessly and pointlessly brave in quite a while. It's time to risk our lives for no apparent reason," Harry shouted.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "That's it."

***
The Trio plus One set off down the street. They didn't bother to make any jail-break plans because that wasn't really the way they worked. Instead, they were busy noticing the numerous posters lining the walls of every building in town. In them, familiar faces mugged for the crowd. Unfortunately, there were no crowds, because the people of Hogsmeade were doing their best to ignore the posters.

"What -?" Ron gestured to the posters, "Is it Uglify Your World Day, or what?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Haven't any of you read..."

"Hogwarts, A History," everyone toned back to her.

"No, Hermione," Harry added. "I really would have thought you'd pick up on that by now."

"Actually," she huffed, "I was going to say today's Daily Prophet. But if you're all so... so... smart... I guess you already know that Hogsmeade is having a mayoral election. The two main contenders are Professor Flitwick and Gilderoy Lockhart. I swear you guys are aging me slowly!"

The other three peered more closely at the posters, realizing why the faces had looked so familiar. The posters of Lockhart had a very dazed looking man who kept squinting at his wand as if he had no idea where it had come from. In large purple letters were the words, "Lockhart is a lock in our hearts!" Next to it were the posters for Flitwick. He grinned broadly but also looked a bit nervous, his eyes shifting from left to right as his cheesy grin continued. Whatever the poster had originally said was unknown. A little deft graffiti changed the message to, "He might be short, but at least he isn't TALL!" Everyone had to stifle a grin at that.

"Come on, we need to get moving," Ginny reminded them, before giving a stifled scream. "I thought... I thought I saw Voldemort. Wearing a sombrero." She stopped talking because they all exchanged glances.

In the middle of the street ahead a ring was set up. Inside, a pony trotted along, a first year clutching his mane and giggling madly. On a nearby fence post, Lockhart was kicking his heels and clapping his hand. "Marvelous, marvelous... this is brilliant! Who's idea was this, anyway?"

"Um..." an election aide glanced at his clipboard as if it perhaps gave the meaning to life. "Yours, sir."

"Right. Okay," he replied.

The small group of Gryffindors attempted to go around the pony ride, but Ron remained absolutely motionless, his jaw hanging down. Hermione tugged on his arm. "I want to go."

"We can't, Ron. We don't have time." She tried to sound reasonable, but he was seriously stressing her out.

"But I wanna!" he whined, sounding just like a four-year-old without candy. "Please?" He gazed pleadingly at each of them in turn. "Once? I wanted to ride the Pony!" He screeched.

"This is getting ugly," Harry murmured.

"We are so far past ugly," Ginny stomped her foot and grabbed Ron's ear. "Now, we have a potions professor to save!"

***
They were stopped next by a large stage set up in front of the Shrieking Shack. Not wanting to be outdone by Lockhart and his pony rides, Flitwick had hired an entertainer as a campaign strategy. However, when people realized it was Michael Jackson, many of them didn't stick around for the show.

Hermione was actually more frightened when she thought she saw Voldemort wearing a fuchsia French beret, but she knew to be quiet on the issue. She simply thought about how she must be forming wrinkles from the very knowledge that Voldemort owned a fuchsia beret.

A gigantic banana nut muffin stood near the stage, looking rather depressed.

"Um... professor?" Hermione addressed the muffin kindly, causing everyone else to realize it was actually Flitwick in a very realistic costume.

"Shh..." Flitwick waved his little arms at the foursome, looking around warily. "I'm... hiding." They were going to reply when Flitwick's attention wandered from them to a tall, queenly young woman in the crowd.

"Cassirin! Most evil of queens! My beloved!" Flitwick began to fawn all over her. She looked stricken and started snapping her fingers in the air.

"Um... no comprende, senor! No hablas ingles. Adios!" She disappeared from sight.

Flitwick tried to follow and was mobbed by a herd of little gnomes, the very ones he was attempting to hide from by wearing a banana nut muffin costume.

"KING!" They shrieked. "King king king king king king king!"

They carried him off as Flitwick tried unsuccessfully to get away. Unfortunately, the banana muffin costume made him very round and he merely rolled around in their arms.

"Do you think they'll bring him back in time for Charms on Monday?" Hermione asked worriedly.

The others rolled their eyes and continued on towards the jail. They really didn't know where the jail was, but they figured Hogsmeade wasn't really all that large.

They hadn't gone very far before Ron completely stopped moving and began to rub his eyes.

"What? What is it?" The others asked him, trying to look around the massive quantities of students and gnomes that were crowding the streets. They were unsuccessful.

"I thought... no... it couldn't be. Voldemort in a fez with a long sparkling tassel? I must... did I drink any of Snape's butterbeer?"

The girls looked a bit frightened, Hermione being SURE that she was going to die young if people kept scaring years off of her life. Harry rolled his eyes but continued to keep looking through the crowd. I don't know how he was looking when his eyes were all busy rolling, but...

No one spotted any evil overlords in head gear, but they were quite surprised to see two dementors strolling down the street. They wore their robes rolled up at the bottom to reveal glittering pink tights. Harry quickly pulled out his wand and pushed through the crowd towards the chatting dementors. That, personally, would have been my first sign that these particular dementors meant no harm... well, beyond the tights, of course.

"So I says to him, I says, 'Franklin, you may think that orange belt goes well with those house slippers, but I think you look like a giant Muggle Halloween toy.' How was I to know he was a crier? What dementor cries? I mean, honestly. And what dementor wears house slippers? They clash horribly with our pink... oh, hello. What's this?" The two dementors stopped and stared at Harry clutching his wand in front of them.

"You... you... evil creatures." If dementors had eyes, they would have rolled them. "Be gone from this place!"

"Be gone from this place, he says," the first dementor stated. "Do you hear him, Bob? Who talks like that?"

"I hear him, Bill," Bob nodded. "He's a mean, nasty little boy. Someone should have taught him some manners. Listen, boy, there is a mad shortage of coffee and jelly doughnuts at Azkaban. We were sent to get some supplies. Unfortunately, there is also a shortage here as well..."

"I suppose we'll have to settle for biscuits and milk," Bill put in.

"Yes," Bob agreed. "But, according to Mister I've-Got-A-Wand-So-I'm-Frightening, we're evil. We're on an evil shopping trip. Look out, folks. We might pour our evil milk on you and crumble our evil biscuits in your hair. Go away, little boy. The dementors are hungry."

And the two dementors brushed past them and on down the street. Harry held his wand loosely in his hand with his mouth ajar. Hermione pulled on her hair.

"Harry, you need to stop rushing off into danger that way. You're aging me prematurely!"

Harry rolled his eyes. Again. This author is beginning to think he's going to go pro with that move. He opened his mouth to retort when his attention was grabbed by Voldemort, standing three yards away and wearing a long, blond Cher-esque wig. Much to Hermione's dismay, his fist tightened around his wand again and he raced towards Voldy.

"Harry!" she shrieked. She sighed in resignation and chased after him, absolutely certain that boy would give her a heart attack.

"Voldemort!" Harry commanded loudly. The evil man himself turned in surprise, his long blonde locks swinging around his face and getting into his mouth. His red eyes widened.

"Harry Potter!" He clapped his hands together in glee. "Just the one. Do I look frightening in this wig? Do I scare you?"

"In ways you cannot begin to comprehend," Harry dead-panned, "But it's the wig. Not you. What are you doing? Don't lie!"

"Oh, how very scary you are, little Harry, with your little wand and your little friends," he began to cackle. "However, I'm not going to kill you now. Right now I'm in search of the perfect evil accessory!"

At their blank looks, Voldemort continued, "Poopy head Lucius took the great cane idea, plus he has luxurious hair. Stupid Snape has greasy hair and moves like a bat. Even Sir Whines-a-lot Wormtail has that cool hand." He pouted, which was VERY unattractive.

"You are aware," Ginny stepped forward timidly, "that you have evil slitty eyes and scaly skin? Those are good. Much better than hats and... what exactly are you wearing now?"

"It's elf hair," the Dark Lord said proudly. "Like from Lord of the Rings. Sexy, mmmmm?"

"No," they all chorused.

"What do you know?" Voldy pouted again, "You're just a silly hobbit." With a crack, Voldy disappeared.

"What is he talking about? I'm not a..." Harry paused and glanced down to see big, hairy feet. "Darn it, I'm a hobbit."

***
After Hermione managed to return Harry to no-hobbit status (is there anything that girl can't do?), the four Gryffindors finally decided to ask for directions. It turned out that they were quite near the Muggle jail where Snape was being kept. Ginny and Hermione settled onto a bench while Ron and Harry paced the front of the jail.

"We need to get into that building. What we need is a plan," Ron said.

Harry nodded fervently while the girls rolled their eyes. Of course, they needed a plan... what kind of brainiac statement was that anyway?

Harry opened his mouth to share some brilliant ideas when he heard a hauntingly familiar voice.

"It's the circle of life. It's the wheel of fortune. It's the leap of faith. It's the band of hope."

"Do you hear that?" Harry whispered. They all shook their heads and tried to hear whatever he was listening to.

"'Till we find our place on the path unwinding. Ye-e-ah. In the circle, the circle of life."

"Great," Hermione muttered and tugged on her hair. "Harry is hearing voices again. I really don't feel prepared to handle a large deadly monster this late in the day."

Harry shook his head. He had to be hearing things... that voice sounded eerily like Sirius's. "Here's my plan... Ron and I will get into a huge brawl. The police will come out here and arrest us and take us inside."

"Brilliant," Ron yelled.

"That's the stupidest..." but Harry and Ron ignored Hermione and moved closer to the front door of the station.

"Shall we start?" Harry murmured to Ron. Ron shook his head and pulled out a bag of Skittles. This author has no idea where the Skittles came from, but that is beyond the point.

"Hey, mate, can I have one?" Harry asked in an overly loud voice.

"No, I don't think so," Ron said back, equally loud and obvious. "I paid for this bag myself, see. You can go and buy your own."

"But I share with you all the time, you selfish git. Just one? Maybe a purple one. You don't like those very much."

"You sharing your Barbies with me doesn't count, does it? I don't care about your stupid girlie dolls."

Harry's face turned red. "What are you talking about? That never... you're an idiot! What kind of argument is that?"

"I'm an idiot? Who's picking a fight over some stupid Muggle candies? You're always Mister I-have-a-brilliant-idea, but this one blows serious raspberries!"

"There's a calm surrender to the rush of day when the heat of the rolling world can be turned away."

Harry heard the voice start singing again. To drown it out and abate his fury, he dived at Ron. Soon, the two were rolling in the grass and hitting each other. Hermione and Ginny jumped off their bench and started to shout at the boys to stop.

"An enchanted moment, and it sees me through. It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you."

"You moron! You got grass stains on my shirt. My mum is going to have a fit about this," Ron's face turned red and he grabbed Harry's head and pulled on it.

"Trying to rub it in that I don't have a mum!" Harry responded and somehow managed to bite Ron on the knee.

"Hermione gave me some of Millicent Bulstrode's hair to keep for a potion. You let me go or I'll, I'll put it on you."

Harry scrabbled away from him backwards like a crab. "Eww, eww... get it away."

"Gotcha," Ron grinned, and Harry pounced on him. The two were rolling and screeching as two policemen ran down the steps and man-handled them back up into the station.

Behind them, Hermione was screaming, "I found a gray hair! I found a gray hair and it's all your fault. I told you that you were aging me." She collapsed in sobs on a bewildered Ginny.

"Can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are. It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer that we got this far. Can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest? It's enough to make kings and vagabonds believe the very best."

***
Somehow, by the time they made to a cell downstairs in the station, the boys had made an uneasy peace with each other. They were tossed unceremoniously onto the floor of a cell, where they lay still for several moments.

"I've told you a million times," a much more sober Snape said to their left. "Those two are trouble. Look, they're in jail. Doesn't that mean they're trouble?"

The boys rolled over and stared at Snape, who smirked at them between the bars.

"Alas, Severus, but you are also in jail."

What surprised them even more than a remarkably chipper Snape was Dumbledore, standing outside the cells smiling benignly.

"How, how did you get in here, Headmaster?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Harry, my boy, I used the door. Remarkable contraption. You should try it. The question is," he paused and his eyes twinkled, "what are you doing here?"

"We came to rescue Professor Snape," Ron said sheepishly.

"And how, pray tell, will you be doing that while locked in a jail cell yourselves?" Snape asked and then sneered at them.

The boys glanced at each other and shrugged. Their plan ended at getting inside.

"Well, boys, no worries. I've come to get the professor out. It appears that the police in this station are rather partial to cheese. I've had the house elves guarding a large block of it back at the school to be used as payment. As soon as you are ready, Severus?"

Snape clutched a chipped white mug to his chest and said, "I need another cup of coffee."

"I think you've had quite enough. You've sobered up..."

"It's known to decrease the risk of diabetes," Snape snapped and took a sip. "Why don't you settle down and have a cup too, Headmaster?"

"Ah, unfortunately, I have a large head and a very small neck. I shall have to pass."

Snape stared at him. "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

"No, Severus, I believe we were talking about coffee. And before that, we were discussing you leaving the jail. We can't dally all day, you know. Hogwarts is hosting the Mayoral Ball tonight, and I must return to decorate. The house elves have trouble with streamers." He leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "They're short, you know."

"I can't go out there," Snape talked into his cup of coffee. "I've embarrassed myself among the students and staff."

"Oh," Ron jumped in, "If you go out there, you can go on the pony ride. It looks like a really nice pony ride," he added wistfully.

Snape stiffened and said with great dignity, "I've already been on the pony ride, thank you."

"And I bet it was a really good one, wasn't it?" Ron asked.

"Well... yes," Snape seemed to realize he was conversing almost pleasantly with a Weasley and turned to Dumbledore. "I refuse to be in jail with those two menaces. I will go back to Hogwarts with you."

"Good, good," Dumbledore beamed and opened the cell for Snape. "I knew you'd see it my way. Thank you, boys. It seems you rescued Snape, after all."

They turned to go, and Harry shouted, "Wait! What about us?"

"I'm afraid I'm all out of cheese, my boy," Dumbledore said almost sadly. He and Snape left.

"We're stuck here?" Ron asked and sat back down on the floor.

"Well, there are some good things about it. We can't be expected to do homework in here."

"And Hermione can't nag us about aging her in here."

"Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata ain't no passing craze."

Harry turned to Ron, "Are you sure you don't hear that?" Ron shook his head.

Harry shrugged, and began to sing along, "It means no worries for the rest of our days. It's our problem free philosophy. Hakuna Matata!"

Fin

There is something seriously wrong with me... not my best work. Please forgive me and buy me presents...

It was almost Valentine's Day, and nearly everyone was excited about it. I say nearly because Harry Potter could be found pacing in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room, complaining loudly about the unfair holiday that was nearly upon them. He may have thought he had a large and interested audience, but he was wrong.

Ron and Hermione, because they were his friends, were sitting nearby. Hermione was knitting new house elf hats, although these looked more like leg warmers. Maybe they were flamingo accessories. Ron was sleeping, but that and eating are his two main hobbies. Even the author was bored, so she left to go bother other people.

Deep in the kitchens, she found Lotus and Zymurgy fighting over who lost the toaster.

"You lost it!" Zy shrieked. "You had it last. There's butter on your thumb!"

"If I had it last," Lotus replied, trying to stay calm, "then why is there burnt toast in your pocket!"

"I... have no idea." Zy looked in her pocket and pulled out the burnt toast. "I don't even like burnt toast." She fed it to a passing skrewt from her army.

The author separated the two Eliters and had house elves sit on them until they were a little calmer.

"Look," she said, once the two girls were sufficiently covered with house elves. "I need one of you to give Harry a Valentine. He's having serious 'No one loves me' issues, and, quite frankly, it's boring me."

"Mmmph?" Zy asked.

"Oy! Dibbley! Get your foot out of her mouth," the author ordered.

"Why don't you do it yourself?" Zy repeated.

"Because I'm the author," she said, which quickly cleared everything up.

"I'll do it," Lotus offered. "I don't have some random character squirreled away for my nefarious uses, plus I think Harry's kinda cute and needs some love and attention."

"What'd she say about squirrels?" the author asked.

***

Lotus labored over her valentine for quite a while. She borrowed doilies from the house elves, cut out little paper hearts in red and pink, and even attempted a poem. She was forced to settle on a haiku when she realized she was trying to rhyme dairy with Harry in a love poem. I won't reproduce that poem here, as it is rather embarrassing.

Harry was sitting with in the Common Room, having finally settled down from his rant. Ron and Ginny were playing a spirited game of wizard's chess, in which there was much name calling. Ron even pulled Ginny's hair once. Hermione had fallen asleep and was very close to skewering herself on a knitting needle, but no one really felt like saving her. The only person who was close to Harry was Neville, who needed a place to finish his Potions essay. He hoped fervently that Harry was done ranting.

The author appeared, quite graciously I might add, and dropped a pink and red monstrosity into Harry's lap. Then she disappeared to wherever authors lurk. Harry stared at the valentine, turning it this way and that, reading and rereading the small poem, and even smelling the card to find it was doused in some very pungent perfume.

"Hey," he whispered, then yelled, "HEY! I got a valentine." He danced about the Common Room, waving it in people's faces then settled back on his couch. No one even looked up, except Neville.

"Who's it from?"

"Um... Lotus," Harry blushed. "Look, Neville. I... I need to write her a valentine back. Will you help me?"

Neville looked at his horrible potions essay, crossed it out, and began to write. "Alright, what shall we say?"

The next morning, Harry had given up working on the Valentine, and had left all the work up to Neville. The poor boy was covered in ink splotches as he worked on a poem in the Great Hall. He kept trying to write with his spoon and eat with his quill. In fact, he got so distracted, he turned one version of the poem in to McGonagall instead of his Transfig homework.

While she wasn't impressed that Neville hadn't turned his work in, she was impressed that someone left her a love poem. She quickly ran through everyone she knew who might have left her the note, finally deciding that it MUST have been Dumbledore. McGonagall fluffed her hair a bit and rushed to his office.

"Albus... you must know! I love you too!"

Dumbledore looked a little shell-shocked, but he smiled and said, "Well, my dear, shall we get married? How does tomorrow look for you?"

McGonagall flushed and stammered, "Tomorrow would be fine, Albus." She quickly rushed out in search of a wedding dress. Dumbledore went back to thinking about lemon drops.

The next day was perfect for a wedding. There was a flock of singing chickens for the wedding march, Edge was once again catering, and the author was asked to be one of the bridesmaids. In fact, everything was going perfectly until Voldemort showed up wearing an ugly flowered hat and looking quite unhappy.

"You're having a wedding? Why wasn't I invited?" He began to cry, which was quickly followed by multiple threats of harm and death to all those who WERE invited.

The guests all stood there, feeling a bit shell-shocked. Why wasn't Voldy invited to the wedding? Who had made such an awful mistake? Hagrid, who was best man, knew that it was his job to save the day. He pushed through the crowd until he was face to sternum with Voldy-poo.

"Now, look 'ere, Voldemort!" Hagrid glared down at the top of the ridiculous hat. "I know you're disappointed you weren't invited, but you can't be threat'nin' the guests. Why don't we just... arm wrestle? If I win, you go home. If you win, we'll let you hex us."

For some unfathomable reason, Voldy agreed. The author believes that perhaps he forgot Hagrid was half GIANT! Of course, Hagrid easily won, and Voldy headed home in disgrace.

Everyone wanted to celebrate, or at least finish the wedding, but Hagrid interrupted. "I'm sorry, Professors, but I believe someone must be punished for what happened here today." They all looked around, until their eyes alighted on the happy couple.

"Professor Dumbledore, you proposed to Professor McGonagal. I think you need to be expelled." Everyone gasped.

"But... but Professor McGonagall is the one who told me she loved me!"

Eyes turned to Minerva. "Professor McGonagall, I'm afraid it's YOU who must leave, then." The crowd gasped again.

She sobbed. Her wedding day was ruined! "I thought... Albus? Didn't you leave me a love poem on my desk?"

Neville appeared in front of the crowd. "Um... actually, that was me. Sorry."

Minerva cried again, and Hagrid looked severe. "Neville, we're going to have to expel you for this!" The crowd kind of gasped again, but they were actually kind of bored of that by now.

"Hey! I was just doing it for Harry. He asked me to help him write a valentine..."

Before anyone could even speak, Harry held up his hands. "None of this would have ever happened if Lotus hadn't given me a valentine. I told everyone that..." He was cut off by a giant Hagrid-hand over his mouth.

"LOTUS!" She appeared, eating buttered toast and looking confused. Hagrid continued, "You're going to have to be expelled. I'm sorry."

She swallowed. "Expelled? But I'm not even a student..."

"Just... just go," Hagrid's voice broke and he turned his back on her.

"Is this about the toaster? We'll buy you a new one..." Everyone looked stricken by the news that the toaster was missing.

"Hey, don't worry..." Harry climbed onto a chair. He waved the toaster in the air. "I found it. We can have toast again."

The crowd cheered, and Harry was awarded with a Special Services to the School. Lotus was in fact NOT expelled because a) she really isn't a student, she's an Elite, and B) Hagrid is the groundskeeper and can't expel anyone. But it still WAS all Lotus's fault...

Dare reqs:

Newbie Merman's dare:
*someone must get expelled for giving Harry a valentine.
*Harry gets an award for special services to the school, for finding the missing object (object may be whatever you want).
*Dumbeldore must ask Mgonagall for her hand in marrige.
* and last but not least hagrid must defeat Voldemort.
Due date: 7th Feb

Love you all! Responses are rewarded!

:o CASSIRIN LOUISE DOHICKEY!!!!!

That was entirely not my fault.........it was Zy.....she did it!
She stuck the toaster in Harry's underpants.

No wait..........wasn't it you who told me to write that valentine in the first place?!?

I state that it was not, my bad!...........well maybe.........I can't remember all the Evil things I do.

Treasured moments:

ROTFL
that was great!
i really loved it.

hahaha, i can just see that happening

GO YOU!
your story's always nothing short of splendid (how cool a word is splendid mwahahahaha)

Perfict Casirrin mad me fall of my seat (well it was my bed but anyway) :up: :up: :up: :up:

AWESOME!!! I especially liked the part where McGonagall comes busting in on Albus to tell him that she loves him

PLEASE tell me Dibbley was wearing socks...?

Oh, and sorry for not replying sooner. I'm afraid some mean nasty people had to go and remind me that I actually have a life. Meanies.

I absolutely LOVE your stories!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whenever I get home I read your stories and Zy's stories and they make me feel better immediately!!! It's like free therapy for people with humor!!!!!!! ... anyways.......... I have wayyyyyyy too many things to quote so I won't...... please do another dare soon!!!

p.s. send the Snarfles my lkove and respect.... and food stuffs... :apple: :banana: y: :watermelon: :bittenchoco: :herb: :carrot: :lemon: :superchoc: :grapes: :cheeseburger: :oreo: ...runs away

Lotus... they can't expel ME! I'm the author...

me4ron... I also love the word splendid. But I love words!

Merman... you deserve credit for such a creative dare! Props to you.

Kris... Don't you think maybe she's been harboring a crush all these years?

Zy... If he was wearing a sock, would he still be a house elf? He did have remarkably CLEAN feet, which is why I let him put his foot in your mouth in the first place. He was appalled at how dirty mouths are, btw... keeps scrubbing his toes.

My anonymous poster... I love you for you anonymity. And because you fed the snarfles. MWA!

all hail Cassirin! Queen of Cupcaketopia and Queen Chicken Mum! :hail: :hail: :hail: And more food stuffs for the Snarfles! :apple: :banana: y: :carrot: :grapes: :cheeseburger: :oreo: Please do another dare soon!

Gawd! I just read this after one month!
It's very funny Cass!

Haha! Poor Lotus. She was just trying to be nice...Well, you win some you lose some, I guess. And then there's that commercial where you win some, you win some...somehow. :ermsmile: Right. Too much thinking. Great post Cass! I can't wait for another one! Marshmallows are cool! (sry, random moment.... :unsure: ) Toodles! :sorcerer:

Better late then never...

Harry Potter was having a nightmare. He wriggled around in his bed, kicking off his covers and making frightened little noises. Finally, Ron got tired of all the excitement keeping him awake. He shook Harry. Hard. Really hard.

Harry awoke with a scream. His chest was heaving and he looked around the room. "I... I was dreaming. There were these werewolves chasing me. I kept trying to brew Wolfsbane as I ran. Then these vampires showed up and..." Harry shivered.

Across the room, the other boys had awoken as well. They all piped in with their own scariest dreams, not really doing much to help poor Harry feel ready to go back to sleep.

Neville piped in, "Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know where that came from."

Ron groaned. "Thanks a lot, Neville. Now I have a craving for cheese. Where am I supposed to get cheese at this hour?"

Harry rolled his eyes, appreciating the distraction. "Perhaps the kitchen would be a good place to start."

The boys made their way down to the kitchens and asked the house elves for some Kraft Mac & Cheese, a delightful food that was introduced at Hogwarts by one Cassirin, who is obsessed with it.

"We is being very sorry, Harry Potter," one of the house elves twisted her hands and whimpered. "All the mac and cheese is being used somewhere else."

"WHAT?" Ron was outraged. Why was there no mac and cheese? Who had it? Where was it? He stormed out of the kitchen with Harry and the other Gryff boys right on his heels. He was moving quickly, stopping occasionally to peer into a classroom or behind a suit of armor.

"What are you doing, Ron?" Neville asked quietly, wishing they could all just go back to bed.

"I'm looking for the mac and cheese," Ron answered, his voice clearly giving the impression that he thought the question was stupid.

"Yeah, Ron," Seamus responded. "I'm sure the house elves put all the mac and cheese behind a statue. The little teases..."

"It could be anywhere!" Ron began, but was halted by the sight of a man walking down the hall and looking quite lost. "Can we help you?"

"Erm... yes," the man said slowly. "I'm looking for the fusebox."

"The what-huh?" the boys all asked together.

"The fusebox," he repeated. "You know, where you put the fuses? Oh, nevermind," he shook his head and walked off.

"That's it," Harry decided. "I'm going to bed. There is no mac and cheese and there is a strange and confused electrical engineer pacing the hallways. Clear signs pointing to sleep."

As the boys trooped back to the dorm, Ron protesting loudly, they spotted a notice tacked to the bulletin board.

Feast! Tonight! Bring your appetites and a bib.

The feast that night was quite a surprise. Not only because it was sprung on such short notice, but also because the only food served was Kraft Mac and Cheese. Only Ron wasn't bothered by this little fact.

The other surprise came when Dumbledore stood and raised his hands. The school quieted and looked at him. Dumbledore removed a large hanky from his robe and blew his nose. Twice. It sounded like a dying goose's mating call. Very unappetizing.

"I would like to say a few words. Tonight's feast is in celebration..." his eyes shot fearfully to a group of rather frightening looking men standing along one wall. The students had not noticed them before, but now that they saw them, they were shocked at the strangeness of them. The men were either extremely hairy or very pale.

"I have been informed that werewolves and vampires would like to run the school. While I was not involved in this decision, I have decided it would be prudent not to argue with them. Please continue eating your dinner, and you will learn more about this development over the next few days."

Harry screamed.



(Abrupt ending, I know, but I've decided that I'm tired and sick and can always wrap up the plot development later if I feel like it.)



Biochemkris's dare:
*an electrical engineer with no knowledge of magic comes to Hogwarts
*the central theme must involve Kraft macaroni and cheese
*werewolves and vampires must take over the school
*Dumbledore must blow his nose at a feast
*someone must say, "Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know where that came from."

Lol I love the dramatic ending. Such suspension.

lmao

very good, i loved it

FINALLY!!!! But, it was worth the wait. I thought the feast should have been in my honor (Quarter of a Century, you know), but.... since you are sick and busy and running around all over the place, I'll forgive you

I agree with Biochemkris it wa sworth the wait verry well done and evil

hahahaa!!! Cass you are so funny. You can always make me laugh-

wait a second! I just got it! The ending was Harry's nightmare!!! Hahahaah!

Wow, I'm a bit slow today.

toodles!

Very nicely done my princess.......I love that fact that dying geese still want to mate......he he......and now I must complete your latest challenge......(bites fingernails)..... :flowersmile: