We love musicals? Well... be ready for a little part in my next dare... although I always end up using musicals that I hope everyone will know (see first dare... )

I did it! In the spirit of Zymurgy... my first double dare. Two for the price of one!

Dean Thomas had a plan... he knew he wasn't interesting enough or talented enough to be the star of his own fic. Try as he might, the Trio always managed to overshadow whatever efforts he was making to draw attention. Really, all he had going for him was that he was a good artist and had a very creative mind. So, he made up this plan.

First, he wrote a letter to... someone suggesting that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would be the perfect site of the next Whatever Idol auditions. There was a large untapped market of singing and dancing wizards who were as yet undiscovered by the rest of the world. I don't know how he managed it, but they agreed and HOGWARTS IDOL was scheduled to begin shortly.

Next, he approached Seamus to get his help.

"Look, Seamus, you're my best friend, and I need your help desparately."

"Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Oh... do you need to copy my Potions essay? What's wrong?" Seamus looked deeply worried.

"Nothing like that. It's just that I NEED to win this Hogwarts Idol so that I can be the center of attention, and I want your help. With my artistry and your stellar voice..."

"SHH!" Seamus demanded. "That's a secret. I don't want everyone hear knowing that I can sing or they'll make me do all sorts of stupid things."

"That's stupid, Seamus. PLEEEEEEEEASE." Unbeknownst to anyone, Dean was also a very effective whiner... and Seamus agreed.

The day of the auditions drew near, and everywhere students were raiding their filing cabinets and empty pizza boxes for the right pair of socks and for a spare nailclippers... just in case. Excessive quantities of outfits missing sleeves, bellies, knees, and other important (or at least to your very modestly dressed author) parts were donned... as well as lots of glittery makeup. Finally, they all lined up in the Great Hall, and Dumbledore introduced the judges.

"First... we have Madonna. Because she already appeared in a fic and isn't afraid of us. We also have two random Backstreet Boys that no one really cares about anymore." Everyone gave a rather sad round of applause, because they pretty much had never heard of any of these Muggle singers. "Now, let's get our singers up here and see what kind of talent Hogwarts has to offer." The cheering grew louder.

First on the stage was Cho Chang, who really needs to be informed that I don't like her and therefore she will have a stinky voice. She sang "I Could Have Danced All Night," from My Fair Lady and then promptly burst into tears and gave an extremely LONG rendition of her Yule Ball date with Cedric. Next came "Bibidibobidiboo," from Cinderella, sung by Luna Lovegood. Strangely, enough, everytime she said... that long word that I don't want to type again, something exploded. Eventually she realized it really was a magic word and kindly left the stage. Then came "Singing in the Rain," which Ron was absolutely delighted to be able to perform. He even had a little parasol and Hermione had charmed some rain to fall. Of course, he slipped in a puddle and nearly drowned, but that really added to the effect. Or so Hermione told him.

The judges needed an aspirin break, so there was a short intermission. After that came the Creevey brothers who sang the goat herder song from the Sound of Music. Complete with sound effects and a strange goat wearing a poncho. They had to chase it when it tried to eat Dumbedore's hat. Lavender, Parvati, and Padma Patil sang a shrilly rendition of "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof, giggling the whole time. Then Neville sang "Getting to Know You," from The King and I, while staring at Madonna. She finally got freaked out and made him leave.

When Seamus came on stage, the judges were beginning to be quite scared of 'Hogwarts Talent.' Somehow, the flashing green letters on his "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" t-shirt calmed them, and when he burst into song, they all sighed in delight. He sang, "I Feel Pretty," from West Side Story, which normally would be a tad shocking and weird, but from Seamus's glorious voice, it was only right. No one could ever sing that song that well again.

As soon as he finished, Madonna hopped onto the stage and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. "Bravo! Wonderful! You were fantastic!" Seamus blushed and thanked her.

"You TRAITOR!" Dean screamed from off-stage and ran full-tilt at Seamus. He tackled him and they rolled off stage. "I designed that t-shirt! You didn't say anything! We had a deal!"

"Stop with all the exclamation points," the author called from the audience. "You are making me very tired."

Madonna and the two random BSB guys turned and stared at Cass. "What exactly is the meaning of all this?" Madonna queried. "They all sang show tunes."

"My fault, I'm afraid. I showed Muggle musicals for the entire flight back from Disney Land. I'm afraid all they know of Muggle music is that."

"And their bad skills?"

"Also my fault... it's funnier to write that way."

"What about the boy tackling the beautifully-voice boy?"

"I guess that's my fault too. Dean feels neglected by me and was trying to make an impression."

A goat ran across the stage wearing a poncho. The three turned to look at Cass.

"So very much not my fault. CREEVEY'S! Your goat is loose."

A strangely familiar penny rolled down the aisle and disappeared beneath some seats. The three looked at Cass again.

"Look! Nearly everything here is my fault... but THAT penny is B2M's fault. His name is Phil, if anyone asks." The three judges left in a huff, which is not a fancy kind of car but is actually a fancy kind of temper tantrum.

Seamus and Dean appeared on the stage, very much the worse for wear. The once lovely t-shirt was now torn and saggy, and both boys had various cuts and bruises.

"Look," Dean shouted. "We're under-appreciated and under-used. I think we should picket!"

"Yeah!" Seamus yelled, pumping his fist into the air, before turning to Dean. "Pick it? Pick what?" The author cackled as Dean tried to explain to a confused Seamus.

"Oy!" Ron shouted from somewhere. "Has anyone seen Phillip?"

The dares:

born2mugglz's dare:
*Seamus Finnigan must say and/or wear a shirt that says: "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!"
*Someone (A girl, please.) must do just that.
*(I know the whole strike thing is old, but oh well, I'm evil!!!) Someone must say, "I think we should picket."(<Picket as in signs...)
Someone replies, "Pick it? Pick what?"
*And Ron's penny Phillip must make an appearance(I luv tha guy...)
*Due on the 3rd of January

MusicGirl87's dare:
- Seamus (that's right, SEAMUS) must be the central character.
- three pop singers from the Muggle world must make cameos. One must be Madonna, because I enjoy having her in fics, and the other two are up to you.
- the following items must be mentioned: a file cabinet, socks, empty pizza boxes, nail clippers, and a goat wearing a poncho.
- all of the characters sing a song from a theatre Musical show.
- and lastly, the entire fanfiction must be set at the site of a Pop/American/Canadian/etc. Idol audition.
Due Date: January 13th (since it's my BIRTHDAY!)


And MI, remind me of your birthday closer to the day, and I'll give you a birthday fic.... or at least a nice dedication.

Haha! Phillip!!! So brave...rolling along like that...I think I need to clean him though...I have no clue where he's been lately...rolling around in all these dares... :unsure: But neway, don't feel bad for blaming Phillip's appearance on me, I supposed It was my fault in a way. *Sigh* One can't live in the past now can one? (what was that from? I CAN'T remember, and it bother's me...Oh! Bother, bother, bother!!!) Teehee. I'm just soooo evil!!

Brilliant, and evil, Cass! I just loved Madonna going up to kiss him- THAT was unexpected- and I STILL haven't done my own version of the dare with the goat in the poncho- and you had such a good reason for him to BE there! I shall never, in all my evilness concoct such a delishious delicasy of a desert.

Please... that goat was positively inspirational. Didn't you see Colin and Dennis wearing those little... whatchamacallits... with suspenders? And yodeling?

I realized recently that I have not been using Luna... I could get so much milage out of Luna. OH LUNA! I'm SO sorry!

"Da dada da dada lonely goat herder. La oodle la oodle la heehoooo!" (I can't remember the "da dada part", but you get the idea)
I had forgotten about that song, thanks to Cass for reminding me.

Woohoo for the double dare!! You did a fantastical job Cass, truely Evil.
I'm so jealous........no wait that should be envious, shouldn't it? :unsure:
But I can be jealous of you and Charlie, that would be acceptable.

Ok, Firstly, they were all fantastically brilliant. and I'd just like to tell you mt fav parts of the recent dares of yours.

That was just priceless I thought

EVERYTHING in the middle part of the Founder's fic,

And Hogwarts Idol, was absolutely brilliant too..

Great Job Mate!

(Sorry, I've had this sudden urge to be all Aussie-like and say/type Mate....)

*releases confetti*
Cass... such a wonderful writer... Loved it!!!

Hmm... so we can do double-dares, eh???
Okay, I'll try to mix one up of me own... :sorcerer:

Just a side titibit: But Austrians realy HATE Sound of Music! They diss it every single chance they get. Personally, I don't like it much either, really, "Let's make running away from the Nazis fun!" bleaargh!

Tee hee.

*dies* There are oodles more but... I'm too lazy to find them all.

I absolutely loved it! And I love musicals too; I vote every fic has to have a musical song in it. :ermsmile: Maybe not...

Er here's the first birthday reminder:

MY BIRTHDAY IS ON JANUARY 13TH. Which is.... ten days away? I think.

You don't have to make me anything special. Just steal a flower from a smiley. :flowersmile:

Whooot! Cass did a double dare! Whoot! It was hilarious! I did a double dare once*thinks* yepperz...Lol.

Congrats! here... some glitter*throws it around* hehe

*runs off* :adminchase:

Thanks Cassirin...hehehe, that was funny.....Horrifying House of Horrors...hahaha

Okay, in a marathon reading session fueled by coffee I read all 21 pages to date. Since picking out my fav parts would prob add another page I'll just say all your stories are really witty and evil. I'll be sure to check back for updates.

> He is mad cause i stole his flower. MWA HA HA HA
^for Music Girl!

Hermione later thought that she should have turned and walked away when Draco Malfoy first approached her. He had never said a kind word to her in his life, but there was this small, hopeful, mothering part of Hermione that thought that maybe Draco was just misunderstood and could one day be redeemed if he only found the proper motivation. This author believes that maybe Hermione has been reading fanfic again, although she herself sometimes wishes this were true. Anyway, when Draco came up to her as they were entering History of Magic, Ron and Harry immediately went into defensive mode, grabbing their wands beneath their robes. Hermione, however, stopped to listen.

"Oy, Granger! I have a proposition for you." Harry and Ron tightened their grips on their wands. "Could you please tell Potty and the Weasel to stand down. This doesn't concern them." She waved half-heartedly at them, and they didn't even blink. Their glares were reserved for Malfoy.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry said between clenched teeth. He really shouldn't clench his teeth like that... bad for the jaw.

"I want. To. Talk. To. Granger. Honestly, Granger, you should really hang out with some brighter students, considering how bright you are considered to be."

"What? Like Crabbe and Goyle?" Ginny mysteriously appeared on her way to Charms in time to be snarky and cute and then went on her merry way.

Meanwhile, Hermione was too busy processing his sly insult. "What do you mean how bright I'm considered to be? I am bright. Everyone knows I'm bright! Don't you think I'm bright?" she begged Ron and Harry, who ignored her and continued to stare at Malfoy. Very encouraging.

"Alright, Granger. You think you're so smart. Prove it. I bet you that Parvati Patil will answer faster than you during History of Magic."

"Speed isn't a sign of intelligence, Malfoy," Hermione said doubtfully, although she was already recalling all the times that Patil hadn't known the answer.

"Oh... and here I thought all those times your hand was the first and only to shoot into the air meant something..."

"Fine, fine. What do I get if I win?" Malfoy smirked at her, and Hermione suddenly realized what she was doing.

He pulled her to the side for a whispered conference. Harry, who was just starting to register the conversation, began to look worried, while Ron was beginning to look murderous. Malfoy was whispering in Hermione's ear. Her EAR! And he had his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer for whispering. Malfoy was touching Hermione! He could tackle him, but she got really angry last time he tackled someone for her. By this time, the whispering was over and the two shook hands. Ron practically ignited in fury. They were holding HANDS!

"Alright, let's go into class before we're late," Hermione said without concern, disappearing through the door before any of the boys could respond.

The boys barely made it into the room before the class started, each rushing to his seat. Draco turned, once settled, and smirked at Hermione. Hermione, much to Ron's fury, blushed. Of course, she was blushing at making so foolish a mistake, but Ron is very one-track minded.

"Today, class," Binns's voice was already so droning that Seamus put his head down and went to sleep, "we are going to talk about the goblin rebellion of 1604 in Egypt. Who can tell me...?"

Before he even finished his question, Parvati's hand was in the air, waving frantically. Binns blinked at her. "Yes, Miss Patterson?"

"The Egyptian Goblin Rebellion of 1604 was crucial to the way goblins viewed themselves and interacted with the wizarding community around the world. First..." The entire class watched as Parvati gave a long, complex answer that showed quite a lot of thought. Most of them took notes, although Hermione just blinked dazedly at Parvati. She shot a glance at Draco, who was smirking in Parvati's general direction. Hermione was beginning to hate that smirk.

Binns nodded his head as Parvati talked. When she finished, he thought for a moment. "Well, Miss Prunella gave all the information I was going to give today. Class dismissed."

The students poured out of the room, congratulating Parvati on her excellent answer. Hermione stayed in her seat, staring at the chair Parvati had vacated. "I... I... I" Ron and Harry gently removed her from the room.

Wow, Cass... Just a part of it but it seems like the crowd went wild already... Not to mention my flamingoes...

I loved it when Binns called Parvati different names... or was she Prudence, or Piper, or Phoebe???
And Ron, with his jealousy... and Ginny, who made an unwelcome appearance... Truly marvelous...
Well, I'll just read the rest tomorrow...
*releases confetti*
Oh, yeah... I noticed Jen_w likes glitter, so I'll have my own, and it's confetti for you... Happy writing!!!

Part 2 of 3

They didn't know what the conditions of the dare were for several days. Even when they asked her, Hermione would shake her head and start to moan about how she was stupid and needed tutoring.

The day of the Slytherin Quidditch match against Hufflepuff Hermione was acting particularly strange. It was a beautiful day, and the boys were eager to get out to the pitch.

"I'll... I'll meet you there," Hermione stuttered quietly. The other Gryffs shrugged and raced to the pitch.

The game had just begun when Hermione joined Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the other Gryffs in the stands. She settled next to them and was ignored for a few minutes, until Ginny said, "What are you wearing, Hermione?" Then everyone's eyes were on her. Hermione was wearing a garishly green skirt, a sparkling silver shirt, and a Slytherin scarf looped around her neck. In her hand, unnoticed until now, was a large sign that said, "Draco is our man!"

"I KNEW it!" Ron cried. Well, he didn't CRY, but... sigh. "You're in love with Malfoy."

Harry elbowed him and Ginny rolled her eyes. They were all suddenly distracted by Dumbledore, dressed as Santa Claus, and Snape, dressed as Rudolph. They were sitting in the teachers' box, and Snape looked quite mutinous. Dumbledore kept waving a sign that said, "Christmas in July."

"Is it even July?" Dean whispered to Seamus. He shook his head and they both muttered, "Something in the pumpkin juice."

"No, she isn't in love with Malfoy, you git!" Ginny said. "It's the dare, isn't it?" Hermione nodded, her face stubbornly set.

"I'm not going to give Malfoy the satisfaction of me being upset. Excuse me..." At a particularly good play by Slytherin, Hermione stood at shouted, "Slytherin rocks my socks off!" Then she sat back down and tried to tug the skirt down to cover more of her leg.

After the game, a variety of people came to speak to Hermione. Draco flew down and thanked her for her support, smirk in place. Lavender excitedly pulled her aside and after a few whispered words, ran away.

"And what did the incredibly vapid Lavender want?" Ginny whispered.

"She says I have excellent shouting skills and that I apparently look pretty good in a short skirt, so she wants me to try out for the cheerleading squad."

"Um... Hermione... we don't have a cheerleading squad."

"Well, she's trying to start one," Hermione said defensively. "Maybe it'll be a good thing for house morale!"

"Oh, Hermione," Ginny moaned softly. "You didn't say you would? You did." She saw the look on Hermione's face. "And I'm sure you'll do quite well! But... why...?"

"A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do!" she said, looking at Ron and Harry. "And sometimes a girl has got to do what she has to do to be noticed as a girl."

"I don't know what you said," Ginny put in. "But I'm sure I agree. I'll do it too."

The day of try out saw a variety of girls from Gryffindor, as well as Colin Creevey, who was snapping pictures and jotting things down on a bit of paper.

"Colin? What are you doing here?" Ginny asked, as Colin took another picture of her trying to do a cartwheel and ending up face-first in the dirt. It actually sounded a lot like, "Mmmim? Mut mar moo moing mere?" But Colin is an expert at accents, so he understood.

He suddenly looked embarrassed. "I'm not going to tell you. You'll just make fun of me."

Ginny sat up. "Did I make fun of you when you were singing 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,' in Potions last week?"

"Yes."

"Oh... well, this will be totally different!"

For some reason, that sad argument convinced Colin, who suddenly blurted, "Alright! I'll tell you... but this is a secret. I'm going to start up a house newspaper."

"Well, that sounds alright. Are you going to do it all by yourself?"

"For now. Maybe someone will read my writing, and I'll become a famous journalist. Or at least, maybe someone will help me. Want to hear what I have so far?"

"Okay."

"Why are Gryffindor girls donning short skirts and grabbing up pom poms? Enquiring minds want to know. Rumors around the Gryffindor common room support the idea that this is just a master plan on the part of one Lavender Brown to gain the much desired attention of the famous Boy-Who-Lived. While many have speculated for a while about the popular sixth year girl and the famous Harry Potter, all have wondered why the two are not yet dating. It seems to this journalist that this would indeed be a match made in heaven. It seems that Miss Brown has finally tired of playing hard to get and of the incredible ignorance of Harry Potter and is now resorting to the basest of her feminine wiles..."

"Colin!" Ginny interrupted, as he began to warm up to his writing and get louder and louder. "Colin, you can't print that."

"Why not? It'll make everyone talk and pay attention to me. And that's the whole point, right?"

"But it isn't true."

"It could be true."

"But it isn't... Colin, you can't make up news just because you're bored and want attention. Nobody here is trying to be a cheerleader to get someone's attention..." she trailed off as she spotted Harry and Ron coming towards them. "I have to get back to my try outs."

As Ginny ran off, Colin watched her specutively. "Hey, Harry," Colin said eagerly, tearing his story to bits. "Want to hear this great idea I have for a story for my new newspaper?"

"Not really, Colin," Harry tried to get past Colin to where Ron was yelling at Ginny for indecent exposure and trying not to look at Hermione at all, which really kind of defeated the purpose for the poor girl.

"It's about how Ginny Weasley is trying out for the cheerleading squad to earn her brother's respect..." And the author realized that Colin had missed the point too, and so she left to put ice on her head.

Yes, I was sadly ignoring Ginny, who is one of my favorite characters, so she made a come back in this fic.

The reqs:
devils_work's dare:
--A Gryffindor has to yell during a Quidditch match "Slytherin rox my sox off!"
--Hermione tries out for a cheerleading squad [its up to you if she makes it or not]
--A boy starts a newpaper which only has a gossip coloumn
--Someone has to start singing 'Twinkle twinkle' during potions
--Dumbledore dresses up as Santa Claus on christmas day, and Snape as Rudolph
--Either Parvati or Lavendar (or both) answer questions better and faster than Herm ever did in all classes except Divination.
Due Date: Jan 13th

Have a beautiful day... free from gossip and shippiness

Thoroughly enjoyable Cass!
I loved that.
I can always rely on your fic to make me LOL and LMAO.

Thanks, Lotus... that's what we're here for.

Can't wait for the... *mumbles*

You know, this is one of my first fics where I feel like I wrote Draco true instead of all cartoon-y. You know what I mean? Like making him just this story element... he was very enjoyable to write in this story. Yeah.

LOL.. Your fics are hilarious!!! And thank you for doing my dare.

CASSIRIN ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF! *waves Ravenclaw banner* GO CASS! WOO!

er... actually, I'm evil, so- DOWN WITH WRITERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN I AM! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE ZYMURGY! *Thunder* HEAR ME ROAR! RAAAWWWRR!

Is it even July?!?
That was especially good. Although when you said at the cheerleading tryouts that Colin was there, i was really hoping he was trying out. hehe

hehe. Poor Hermione, Poor Ginny, Poor Dra- WHAT AM I SAYING? Draco needs to die!!! :hack: That's better. More Cass!!! The monkeys are impatient!! they're going to drop the snarfle feathers!!!