OOH... yes, they do have knees! and you know how flamingos always look like their knees are turning backwards? Well- those aren't their knees! Those are their ancles... the birds walk on their toes like ballet dancers! Their knees are higher up...

Now that song is stuck in my head, and I get to go to work where they play it over and over and over.... have you heard it, B2M?

Zy... you know too much. YOu are too smart. I just... wow.

I actually don't know alot. I just know where to look the oddest things up.

*wipes forehead* Thank goodness! Thats why the letters stopped! Well, there's my answer. Congrats Mi for finally taking him off my evil hair.

Well done Cass. Evil funnyness till the end my dear. Till the end.

Here...glitter!

*runs off*

[dies] A Draco of my very own! How beautiful.

I got a cameo, I got a cameo, I got a cameo!!! *jumps up and down*

Thanks Cass dear!! All is forgiven for the last fic... *mutters* Stupid Seamus.. doesn't do anything.

And Jenn... you're welcome, I'm happy to take him off your hands any time.

Haha, my expertise is needed!
Will wonders never cease........well, will they? :unsure:

I think it's a Dishwasher you wash Purple Monkeys in.
Actually I got it from the Simpsons.
Bart makes the teachers strike, so the're standing out the front of the school, striking and Bart sends a chinese whisper (starts out normal then adds words along the way) through the crowd.
I think it was something like, "Skinner thinks you'll crack any minute, Purple Monkey Dishwasher."
Very funny, but I guess you have to see it.

Love the story Cass, this bit especially.

Very funny, Cass...
I liked the jump-rope thingy very much...
Here's a cookie... :oreo:
And some for the chickens... :grapes:
*runs out*

JW - I'm sure she is very happy to help out... and I do only as I am told. Besides, I think Redeemable!Draco is doable. And I think that maybe Mi is the one to reform him.

MI - You are welcome to him. Afterall... read the above. And I'm SORRY that Seamus is too boring for your liking... perhaps I'll have to give him a bit of flamboyance to make up for JK's obvious neglect.

Lotus - We want you around all the time... with or without your expertise. Thanks for clearing it up... and now I'm stuck with the oddest mental images. I enjoyed the hyperactive Flitwick very much too!

Edge - You brought food for the chickens... you are a keeper! Funny story... today, my "brother" who was out of town came back, and he asked what had happened while he was gone. I said something about the "killer chickens," but I accidently said, "Chiller Kickens." Which, as you know, is much funnier. I thought it was funny... you may not have laughed, but he keeps asking about the chiller kickens.

*laughing at Cass's Chiller Kickens*
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Oh, how I did laugh!

Yes, yes!!! Trully funny...
From now on Cass, I'll call you, The Queen of Chiller Kickens...
Like it, good...

Me too, Edge.
BTW: am reading your fic now before I get kicked off.

You don't have to be sorry! I think it's time for me to write an angry letter to JK... Seamus needs more to do.

*evil dare formulates* hmmm...

And I am also very ready to reform Draco.

kicken chillers... whoops AHAHAHA I said it wrong.

Chiller Kickens, there we go. That's hilarious! That's all I wanted to say... *sigh*

The Beginning...


"This," Hermione said, "is stupid. Explain to me again why we are trying to break into Dumbledore's office in the middle of the night for a chat with the Sorting Hat."

Harry sighed. "The Evil Elite asked us to put on a play in honor of HPgurl's birthday, which many of them forgot about. Cassirin is so riddled with guilt that she asked us to write and star in it. She even suggested it be about the founders of Hogwarts because apparently HPgurl really likes that era of history."

"She's inexplicably weird," Ron added.

"Shhh... it's her birthday!" Harry chastised.

Somehow, the Trio slipped into Dumbledore's office with no one noticing. Perhaps it was because the author sent Dumbledore out to buy her a pint of Graeter's ice cream, which can only be found in Ohio and therefore was quite a trip for him. Once in the office, they quickly grabbed a hold of the Sorting Hat.

"HEY!" he demanded. "Be gentle with me. I'm flippin' old!"

"Sorry, Mr. Sorting Hat, sir..."

"Oh, please. You just groped my entire hat-ness. I think we can move beyond formalities. Please call me Hoobley Hatley."

The Trio just stared at him a moment, until finally Harry realized that even a trip to Ohio couldn't take Dumbledore all night and he asked "the question." "Hoobley Hatley, do you think you could tell us everything you know about the Founders and the Founding of Hogwarts?"

He stared at the three youth for a moment, and his brim turned into a smile. "I can do better. I can show you. Put me on." They stared at the hat that had fit their heads when they were eleven. How exactly were the three of them, with their much bigger heads, going to put on the hat? "Could you trust me please?" Harry picked up the hat and somehow managed to squeeze it over their heads. Suddenly, they were standing in front of a much smaller and plainer Hogwarts castle.

The Middle

"Why did you buy this place again?" a woman asked from behind them. They turned swiftly and saw a short, plump woman with a mass of frizzy blond hair.

"Must be one of your ancestors," Ron cackled, pointing to the hair. Hermione elbowed him sharply in the side, causing him to sidestep into Harry, who gave a loud OOF!

"I told you several times, Helga," a clipped voice drew the Trio's attention. It was a pale, aristocratic man who reminded them very much of Lucius Malfoy, even down to the snake-topped cane he probably smacked people and things with. "We were looking for premises for our school. This castle is perfect. Don't you agree, Rowena?"

A tall, brunette woman rolled her eyes. "I don't care WHERE we build the school, Sal. We just need to get started. Children everywhere are becoming stupider as we speak, and no one can do anything until our school opens!"

"Well," a jolly looking man with a large, familiar looking hat and equally large and familiar sword attempted to break up the strain. "Let's get down to the most important thing. Naming the school. I was thinking... Woghorts."

"Godric, you are... strange and unusual. Of course we need to call it "The School for Witchcraft and Wizardry," Rowena argued. "It's only logical."

"And you are only boring," Helga burst in. "I think we should call it Helga's Horrifying House of Horrors." At their stares, she sighed. "I always wanted to own a Horrifying House of Horrors, and travel with all the little carnivals. I've been working on that name for years."

"Yes, but Helga..." Godric tried to be very kind. "This is a school. Not a Horrifying House of Horrors." She nodded and sniffed a bit.

"I think," Salazar interrupted all of the emotional outbursts that were making him quite uncomfortable. "We should call it The Evil Elite Academy." The other three cast dirty looks at him. "The Elite Academy? No evil?"

"Let's just call it The School, and we can worry about its name later," Rowena said, quite sensibly. "We have bigger things to worry about..."

"Like what the house colors will be?" Sal asked. "I've been thinking about this since we started talking about the school. What are your feelings on mauve and maroon?"

"That's like two names for the same color," Helga said, and Rowena stared at her for making sense.

"No? Taupe and tuna?"

"Tuna isn't a color," Godric said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yellow and fuchsia?"

"I WANT YELLOW!" Helga burst into tears.

"Right, then. Pink and flourescent orange?"

"Well... it's your house. You should have whatever colors you want," Rowena said, although she looked disgusted as she said it. "Besides, there are other things to worry about... important things..."

"The school sport!" Godric shouted. "And I know precisely what it should be... Skeeball!"

"What?" the other three and the invisible Trio all shouted at once. "Skeeball?"

"Yeah, you know? Like they play down at Ye Olde Chucky Cheese? You throw the ball down the lane and it has to go into one of the holes. Each hole is worth a different number of points. And at the end, you get tickets to redeem for a prize, like a sheep or some bread or even a small donkey with a shiny collar."

"Competitive Skeeball?" Rowena asked. "Whatever. What we really need to worry about is the school song." She began to sing Fighter, by Christina Aguilera, much to the shock of the other Founders (not to mention the Trio and the author, who had never heard the song before).

"Yeah, I like that song," Helga agreed. "Let's go look inside and find the perfect room for the Home Ec class." And the Founders moved to the castle as the Trio found themselves back in Dumbledore's office.

The End

"That was scary," Hermione whispered, as they all lay tangled up on the floor. "We almost ended up with an extremely scary school. I don't think we can do a play on this for HPgurl's birthday. It'll break her heart."

"Well..." Harry untangled himself and scrambled to his feet. "We're going to have to come up with something else. Something slightly more brilliant than a play about the Founders. That was a stupid idea anyway."

Harry was promptly thwipped in the head by the author, who had said stupid idea. He rubbed his head and helped his friends up.

"I know," Ron exclaimed as they wandered back to their Common Room. He mysteriously pulled a parasol from somewhere in his robes. "We can do a Muggle musical. I'm siiiiinging in the rain, just siiiiinging in the rain. What a gloooooorious feeling. I'm hap-py again...." He danced down the hallway, followed closely by his friends.

Back in Dumbledore's office, the Sorting Hat lay on the floor where the Trio left him. Poor Hoobley Hatley was finally picked up by Dumbledore, who clutched a pint of Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip (interruption for drool break) in his hand. "What have you been up to, Hoobley?" he asked, while searching for a spoon.

"Just playing with the children, Albus old bean. Just playing..."



HPgurl's dare:
1) Must be set mainly in the days where Hogwarts is being founded
2) The four founders must argue over what to call the school
3) The school can't be called Hogwarts
4) Salazar Sytherin makes the Slytherin house colours pink and flourecent orange
5) A new game is invented to play, instead of Quidditch
6) Rowena Ravenclaw starts singing Fighter by Christina Aguilera, out of the blue
Due Date: January 6th

Also, HPgurl's birthday was the 30th. Happy day, sweetheart! Also also, Secretive_Phoenix earned herself a reward, which was Ron's singing in the rain with a parasol... very clever, m'dear!

Happy day!

*Clutches side laughing* Hehe I love that part. Very believable.

WOW! Cass! You're take on this, beg to differ, was SO MUCH BETTER than mine ever was! I love "Albus, old bean," That was PRICELESS!

Cass!!! I loved that!!!! I loved it almost as much as this one time at band camp....No just kidding with ya! More more more!!! That was brilliant!!!! :sorcerer:

absolutely hilarious!

As you are so fond of saying all the time, "I love to see diferent peoples takes on the same dare."
So I say Ditto.

Question: How did Ron know the wonders of Gene Kelly? Who tipped him?

Ah, well.... *blushes* I have an unfortunate fondness for musicals. I made my cast sit and watch them on the return flight from Disney Land. Turns out that portkey wouldn't work... and I had some extra cash.

Plus, I LOVE Gene Kelly.

WOW! Cass- you read Thurber, and watch Gene Kelly musicles... may I say it again: it's startign to freek me out how alike we are!

I know, I know... it is rather frightening. Lotus says that too... but about totally different things. Like being freakishly tall and watching Buffy.

Mwahahahaha... that's why we make such a seamless team .

I love musicals, My fair lady, The king and I, you name it. :whisle: