born2mugglz, you lucky ducky. > I'm exceedingly jealous.

Thanks Cass for finishing this dare. I'm suposed to be doing it as well but after the first parragraph, am sorta stumped.
I love how we have the same sence of humor.

Awww! I absolutly loved your take on my dare! The "the Dursleys and Harry Potter are here" line simply killed me. And hey, Charlie is cute... *goes into fangirl mode* CharlIE CharLIE CharLIE!

It's not my best work, but I'm on a deadline and still sick after a week, so... deal .

"I don't want to, I don't want to," the author was dragged kicking and screaming to her keyboard by the Marauders. "I'm still sick and I want to go to bed."

"No," James said firmly, settling his hand on her shoulder to keep her from moving. "The dare is due tomorrow and you never write about us. What will it tell our audience if the first dare you weasel out on is a Marauders fic?"

"Maybe that she's still sick and wants to go to bed," Remus said thoughtfully.

"Remus," Sirius whined. "We don't have time to be logical and nice right now. Besides, she'd do the same to us. Why, I remember this time that she stuck a fish bowl on my head. I hadn't done anything except want to be in her fic, but she quite vindictively..."

"Um... seriously?" Peter asked.

"No, Sirius Black, you twat."

"No, that wasn't you. That was someone else with a fishbowl on his head."

"Are you sure?"

"Can we just do this?" Remus sighed, and the author began to type.

The Marauders were the greatest prankers in the history of Hogwarts. They seldom got caught, but they were always serving detentions for some reason or another. We find our heroes on such a night, deep in the bowels of the school, scrubbing floors. It was an ugly job, especially considering the amount of dried fish entrails and caterpillar spleens that needed to be scraped up.

"Do you remember," Sirius sat back on his heels and smiled, "that time the Slytherins attacked our Common Room and made it such a mess and we charmed those socks to clean it up and they took over the school?"

"Do you think we should write to his mother and ask her if she ever dropped him on his head?" Peter whispered.

"I'm serious... well, of course I'm Sirius, but I'm also quite earnest. No... I'm not Ernest, I'm Sirius. Oh, this reminds me of the time I was in a talent show and got hypnotized." Sirius put his head in his hands.

"Why's he doing that?" Peter asked.

"I have no idea," James responded.

"Should we do something?" Peter asked.

"I have no idea," Remus responded.

"Maybe it's a prank from those blasted Weasley twins, like the luvipops," Sirius suggested helpfully.

"Argh!" the three screamed. "Be serious!"

"But... I'm always Sirius!"

The author cracked her knuckles and coughed loudly all over the computer screen. "There, I hope you boys learned your lesson. I'm done and going to bed."

"What lesson did we learn?" Peter asked hopefully. Yes, he really didn't learn not to antagonize the Elite.

"Duh... that you can bring a writer to water, but you can't make her write."


Requirements:
*All four Marauders must be in this fic
*you must use at leaast 4 DIFFERENT -Serious/Sirius jokes
*Have a cliche' in your story, (Good Guy always gets the girl, etc.)
*A Marauders or Lily, start having Memory Flashbacks,
*Said flashbacks, cause all sorts of problems
*~*Due December 12th 2003

Heehee! I enjoyed that....very evil. Sry this reply isn't longer...I"M WATCHING HP AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS!!!! Toodles!!! :flowersmile:

tee hee that was brilliant, I think serious/Sirius jokes are so corny, and you see them in so many Marauder fics, I had to make them a requirement!

Good Job, and Get Well Soon!!

Don't worry Cass, I can simpathise about having to write when your sick. Stupid pushy characters always wanting their 5 minutes of fame. >
Hope you feel better soon, so you can punish them properly.

Hurray for Cassirn, the Princess of Cupcakeopia! She's done it again! *evil dance* Mwahahaha!

Oh that was funny! The ollie one and basically all of them are my favs....Lol.

Hmm...i hope you are better now my dear Cass!

*throws glitter*

Well... here's an update. Quite last minute, but I have some glitter in my eye. Someone threw it at me .

"Come on," Sirius hovered over his three friends, his glance darting out to the hundreds of possible prank spies and back to the breakfast table. "Come on, come on."

James held a piece of toast in his hand and watched in amusement as Remus took the longest and slowest sip of pumpkin juice known to man. None of them paid much attention to Peter, who complied with Sirius's directions by shoving anything within reach quickly into his mouth.

"Guys," Sirius's tone went from bossy to whiny in 3 seconds flat. "If we don't get down to the potions dungeon now, someone will see us going and will stop us. I want a clear shot at the potions supplies."

"Explain it again," Remus said, narrowing his eyes. "Use more words. And breathe occasionally."

"Yeah, I smell a rat... Oh wait, that's just me," Peter said with a grin. He always tried that joke out, hoping that someday, somehow, it would be funny. It never was.

James ruffled his hair as Sirius responded. "Okay, I got that package of snarfle eggs through the mail. Apparently, they are specially bred chickens, and the properties of the eggs are unknown. We are going to go down and find out some of the properties of the eggs by breaking into Professor Splishinsplash's supply cabinet and stealing supplies. Now, can we go?"

James heaved a sigh. "Finish your Fruit Loops, Wormtail."

Peter looked perplexed. "But I already ate my Fruit Loops." They all stared at the very full bowl of Fruit Loops, looking quite soggy now. Sitting next to it was an empty bowl with traces of colorful matter.

"Wormtail! You ate my snarfle eggs! Those were expensive. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Uh... my stomache hurts."

James ruffled his hair.

Ehehehehe, "Remus took the longest and slowest sip of pumpkin juice known to man."

Short but chuckle-sum.

Unable to figure out exactly what the effect of the snarfle eggs plus innumerable other breakfast-y things could be, the other boys left Peter in the infirmary with a vague description of events to Madam Pillbox.

"I'm so glad that you care about me enough to check on my health," Peter whispered to Sirius and smiled a smile so cheesy it stank of Limburger.

"No problem, Wormtail," Remus grinned as James ruffled his hair. Peter ignored him and continued to smile at Sirius, who got quite frightened by gratitude and needed to leave the infirmary for some fresh air. James and Remus soon followed.

Outside, they found Sirius throwing Fizzing Whizbees at the Giant Squid, who really didn't like it and was trying to grab Sirius and shake him. Hard. Very hard.

James and Remus pulled him away from the lake, which would only lead to his doom if he continued to spend his time there. "What do you figure is wrong with Peter?" Sirius asked, looking a little guilty for the first time ever.

Neither knew what to say, so they were quite relieved when an owl suddenly appeared. In fact, they each suspected the other had somehow summoned the owl or accio'ed it... or something. The bird flew about Sirius's head, before finally settling in his hair and sticking out one leg.

"Erm... thanks, I guess," Sirius struggled to grab the note without tipping the owl off of his head. You know how cranky owls get when they are tipped off of your head...

The note read:

My dearest darlingest one -
My heart is so full... full only of you. You are every perfect thing to me. Your eyes are more perfect than a clear summer day. Your hair is more perfect than rich, crumbly black dirt that is completely free of any insects or earthworms. Your nose is more perfect than a golden tangerine brought by a house elf and handed to you on a little silver plate with a knife....

It continued on in this way for a LONG time... seven pages in fact. Finally, at the end was the signature.

Lovingly and adoringly and quite secretly, Your Secret Admirer

Sirius, being a generous friend and not quite that quick, actually read all seven pages out loud to his friends before realizing that he didn't really WANT to share this letter with them. It embarassed him. Meanwhile, the other two rolled around on the ground, cackling with glee.

"Stop... STOP!" he shouted, and they leaned against each other, panting for breath and occasionally giggling madly. "Who is this from?"

"Clearly your secret admirer," James said, ruffling his hair. "Who admires your perfection. Your perfect eyes. Your perfect hair. Your perfect nose..."

Remus laughed a bit and then said, "You know, that reminds me. Remember the last time Peter was sick? And we had Frilly deliver a tangerine to him to make him feel better? That sounds just like in the..."

They all looked at each other for a moment before Sirius took off running towards the castle. James and Remus were three steps behind him. Knowing he was much quicker, James shouted, "Go be with Peter!" and disappeared down the stairs towards the kitchens. When he arrived, he found Sirius shaking poor Frilly and demanding details about the tangerine that was delivered. She confirmed the details that matched the mushy, gushy love note Sirius now had crumpled in his hand.

Sirius screamed, and James recognized the look of murderous rage on his face. So, he tackled him. "Quick!" he shouted at Frilly, who looked like she now suffered from shaken baby syndrome. "Sit on him." Frilly complied, sitting right on Sirius's head. He growled and started to get up. "Everyone sit on him."

Dozens of house elves poured into the room and tried to sit on Sirius, pushing each other out of the way for a better seat. Soon, there was a stack of house elves four high all perched on Sirius. He continued to growl.

James took off up the stairs, ruffling his hair as he went. He skidded into the infirmary, followed by a very offended Madam Pillbox who wanted him to "go back and walk this time." He ignored her.

"Has it been here?" he gasped for breath and checked Peter, who looked normal, if a bit glassy-eyed.

"What? Has what been here?" Remus looked confused.

"The SlashMonster! Zymurgy made this monster that hits people... and Peter is sending notes to Sirius and... we have to guard him."

"This doesn't count. It's a love spell induced by weird snarfle eggs and pumpkin juice that will end in about three minutes anyway. It'll be fine." Remus relaxed back into his chair, Peter continued to stare at the wall with glassy eyes, and James ruffled his hair.

"How long have you been Mr. I-know-everything-and-should-change-my-name-to-Dumbledore?"

"I don't know. Like 10 minutes maybe. Since Madam Pillbox and I had a conversation and she told me pretty much all that. I guess we're just waiting on a house elf to bring up some ingredients from the dungeons."

"A house elf?" James groaned. "We may have to wait a while."

Hey, Lotus... it ain't over til it's over!

Requirements:
* Someone must say, "But I already ate my friut loops!"
*James must ruffle his hair at least 3 times throughout the fic (feel free to overexaggerate that number... )
*Peter must say "I smell a rat...Oh wait, that's just me."
*Sirius must recieve a horribly gushy, mushy, and all that good stuff, love letter
*A house elf must sit on one of the marauders for....whatever reason.
*This is due on...Dec.17

Awwww, it's over?
Oh Cass, man I laughed so hard. > Don't make it so funny, you sent me into a coughing fit. *cough cough*
That was a good one Cass, I especially like this bit.

Sparkles...what sparkles :whisle:

I hope your better cass and here more *cough*sparkles*cough* for you! :flowersmile:

Teehee...funny as usual and ya meesa laughed to hard...Lol.

Teehee!!! My dare!!! Yay!!! I liked this V

I can't even count the amount of times a teacher has made me do that...I don't understand the point really...oh well...I've never really understood anything about school...alright...enough of that thoughtfulness...

THAT WAS SOOOO FUNNY!!! Hehehehehehehhe!!! OMG! Guess what! RotK is out!!! My friend got to go tonight!!! I'm sooo jelous! They're all sold out! Now I have to wait til the weekend!!! Ahh!!!

No, I'm alright. MORE SOON!!!! :sorcerer:

I am a chicken named Stubby McCoo,
And while I may live in a castle, it's true,
I'm still a chicken, 'though not on a farm,
And castle living may cause me great harm.

I'll tell you a tale that'll cause you to weep.
It begins in the dungeon, so dark and deep
Where I was running through the dank halls
Hiding from Cass's loud, angry calls.

"Oh, bother," she said as she stormed away.
"Oh, bother! That chicken has ruined my day!
I've searched high and low, throughout this whole place.
Oh, bother! Oh, bother," with a frown on her face.

When who should I find while clucking and clacking
But one Hogwarts student whose warm heart was lacking.
Draco was evil: he bullied and fought.
I even heard rumors of chickens he shot!

"I hate you! You're stinky! I hope that you die!"
I cackled from corners too dark to spy.
Draco drew up to his full, scary height,
And, strangely, he sobbed with all of his might:

"Hating people is wrong! It's evil, I say.
Why would you say that as I'm on my way?
What have I done to make you so mad?
You must be evil to make me so sad!"

And I felt remorse in my chicken-y heart.
For of evil things I will take NO part.
That's not what I do, 'though Cass is my queen,
For I feel that evilness is quite obscene.

So I ran up the stairs, my beak in a smirk.
(I would have flown, but my wings don't work.)
I burst into the Hall, my orders squawked out.
And everyone jumped up and ran all about.

In a few short minutes, we could begin.
We were all singing... making a din!
Singing a song of love coming soon
'Though none could remember all of the tune.

We all jumped with shock when who should appear
But Madonna, who as you know, all chickens fear.
"This story is stinky, mine is much better.
Perhaps I shall write dear JK a letter."

The house elves appeared and sat on her fast
And all of my chicken brethren ran past.
Cass, holding her head, came in at a run.
"Oh, bother! I hate this! This story is done!"


MusicGirl87's dare:
* The entire story must be written in the style of a children's book (ages five and under)
* Malfoy must say: "Hating people is wrong".
* Madonna must make an appearance.
* "Oh, bother," must be said..... five times.
* The entire cast of characters must sing a song together (your choice)
Due Date: December 26th, Boxing Day.

And it RHYMES! That was pure brilliance. I love it!

*hugs Cass' poem and sets thousands of exploding flower-bombs*

:flowersmile:

I don't know why, but this was hysterical... Deliciously evil use of the word "stinky" throughout.

Very impressive.

Yay Cass!!! U made it rhyme! (almost as good as my rhyming...teehee... ) No, but it was really good rhyming! You're the next Dr.Suess!!!!

"I will not eat them in the air
I will not eat them anywhere!
I do not like green eggs and ham,
I do not like them Sam I Am!!!" -the guy who doesn't like green eggs and ham.

*sigh* I luv that book! Im also quite fond of "Are you my mother?" That was a good one! (poor little bird... :unsure: )

*dies laughing* HAHAHAHAHA- oof! *is inexplicably rescued by a herd of mad hippos* Ah... thanks Voldy! Brilliant, Cass. Next time make it less so, before you kill off all the Elite!

Cass I must say that at this moment I am supremely proud of your Evilness.
I loved every single second of it, that now I will print it and put it up on my wall, in between my HP and LOTR posters.
Funnyness!
A perfect example of Evil in an Elegant way.

And I will tell YOU two that I value your opinions so much that I was waiting around... I was lurking in other people's fics... to see what you guys had to say about it. Because a fic isn't a fic unless the Triumvirate has convened.

Night... thanks, guys!

Not to nitpick, Cass, but we happen to be a Triafeminat, and not a triumvirat. Blame my inexplicably perfect Latin skills...

Lemmie guess. It means an association or group of three females?
Is that right? Tri=3 feminate=female.

Just a group of three galls. Like a triumvirate is a group of three guys. Let's just hope that our group of wonderfull galls doesn't break up ever, not to mention in such a violent messy way as their group did...

I am disturbed and scared and must now hide myself away and listen to the Bellybutton song for the rest of the day... simply because I am overwhelmed by your dasterdly Latin skills. EVIL!