great, BUMP!

Sigh... meeting deadlines is nice.

It was Christmas and the Trio sat comfortably in the Common Room, surrounded by a pile of presents. Most other Gryffindors had gone home, leaving the House quiet in a comfortable way.

"You go first," Harry urged to Ron, gesturing to the teetering pile of presents. The first package was quite lumpy and Ron rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess... a Weasley sweater?" He opened the card, which read:

"Dear Ronnie - We will miss you and dear Ginny while we are in Romania this Christmas. Please take care of your sister and be sure that she is remembering to eat and put on warm socks and never go outside with wet hair. Also remind her not to die. I hope you enjoy this gift, and that you will not be too awfully disappointed, as I have run out of maroon yarn and didn't have time to pop over to Diagon Alley. You know how hectic things are lately since the infestation by Frosty the Snowman in Ottery St. Catchpole. Your father is out at all hours, running through the lanes with a giant net. The neighbors have called the Muggle authorities on him no less than 14 times. Thus one of the reasons we must go to Romania. Anyway, have a lovely holiday. Do NOT die, or I shall be very angry.

-Mum"

Ron's face lit up, which made him look much like a fireplace, what with the red hair and lit up face. He was not actually ON fire, in case you were wondering. "No maroon!" he yelled, and tore into the package.

He shrieked and a mauve sweater fell to the floor. "Who does she think she's fooling!" Ron grumbled, kicking the sweater under the couch. "That's just girly maroon."

"Alright," Harry said, making a valiant and almost successful effort to ignore Ron and his sweater-induced temper tantrum. "My turn." He grabbed a present off the pile and began to unwrap it. "By the way, where is Ginny?"

Ron reached over and grabbed the present from Harry's hands. "Where is Ginny?" he repeated. "Where is... isn't Ginny here?"

Harry shook his head and tried to pull the present back, causing the two boys to scuffle over the present. Hermione dumped a pitcher of pumpkin juice over their heads.

"Stop that!" she said calmly and sat back down on the nearest plushy couch.

"Di-did you just dump pumpkin juice on us?" Ron stuttered, his red hair plastered to his slightly orange tinted face, creating quite an unpleasant effect.

"Yes, and you may want to bathe. Soon. Pumpkin juice stains."

"Why?" Harry asked, trying to clean off his glasses with juice-drenched clothing.

"You were bothering me."

"Don't you think that's slightly evil?"

"Sometimes, you HAVE to be evil. I've been taking lessons from Zymurgy and Lotus." The author poked her. "And Cassirin," she sighed, "especially Cassirin."

Ron shook his head and decided it was in his best interest to ignore Evil!Hermione. "But what about my sister? We need to find her and make sure that she is remembering to eat and put on warm socks and never go outside with wet hair!"

"And not dying. Don't forget that you need to be sure she isn't dying," Harry added helpfully.

"Yeah!" And Ron somehow managed to drag Harry, who was looking mournfully at his presents, and Hermione, who was somehow carrying a very full pitcher of pumpkin juice, out into the castle to search for Ginny. I'm sure we are all very concerned that Ginny is somewhere, quite hungry, cold, wet, and possibly dead.

They were quite surprised to see Ginny sitting right outside the portrait hole, her head in her hands. Next to her sat Cho Chang (who the author still doesn't like), sobbing and chattering a mile a minute. On closer inspection, we find that Ginny is actually asleep, and doing quite a nice job of pulling it off.

"And then *snifflesnortsob* we went out the front door and turned right and walked about 10 paces to sit under an oak tree. I'm sure it was oak *snifflesob* because Cedric said something quite romantic about my wand being made of oak *snort*. He always said things like that. So we sat under this tree *snifflesnifflesnifflesniffle* and..."

"Ginny!" Ron yelled, waking his sister and startling Cho right out of her story. The author promptly sent Pig hurtling at Ron's head bearing a lovely gold medal and a stack of chocolate frogs, because she was annoyed with Cho and was extremely glad Ron made her stop talking. Of course, Pig is much too small for a medal and stack of frogs, and made some poor landing decisions, ending up tangled in Hermione's hair. But Ron got the message.

"Ginny! I've come to make sure you are remembering to eat and put on warm socks and never go outside with wet hair," he gasped, clutching his prizes to him.

"And not die!" Harry added helpfully.

"I just stopped here because poor Cho was crying, and then she wouldn't stop telling me the longest story of my life, and I... fell asleep. And are you aware that your head is sticky and orange?" Ginny blinked sleepily at the two boys who were still quite sticky and orange, and at Hermione who held a still-full pitcher of juice. She edged away from Hermione.

"STICKY AND ORANGE!" Cho shrieked. "That reminds me of Cedric's fondness for orange-flavored Tootsie Pops *sobsob*. I.... *GLUG*"

Hermione poured out the pitcher of pumpkin juice on Cho's head. "Mmm... I enjoy being evil. And now you can enjoy being sticky and orange."


born2mugglz's dare:
*Frosty the Snowman must make an appearance
*Ron must finally get a different colored Weasley sweater cuz Mrs.Weasley ran out of maroon colored yarn.
*Cho Chang should be....tearful...hehe... and annoying...VERY annoying.
*Pig must do something...(I don't know what, but I love that little puffball of a bird!!! )
*And someone must be evil...Muahahaha!!!!
*Due on the 25 of December By Golly! Christmas Day!!!

This dare was sticky and orange!

AHHHHHHHaaaahaaahaaa!!!! :lol:

I'm begining to get the impression that your not very fond of Cho.
Can't imagine what gave me that idea though. :huh:

Hehehe, sticky Cho, Mauve, do NOT die. Lots of funnyness.

^that was hillarious oh and this..

and..

and..

actually, now that I think about it...I liked the whole thing. YAY FOR CASS!!! It was evil..and sticky...and orange...oh and MAUVE!!!! :sorcerer: :wub: :flowersmile:

A whetting of the appetite:

We join our author today for a very special treat. Apparently, all of the characters have gone on a much needed vacation. However, as you may have heard from one too many a clichéd source, the show MUST go on. Thus, for your viewing and/or reading pleasure, she has asked a few friends to fill in for them.

Lotus: Excuse me? A vacation? Don't lie. They are all sitting on the front lawn, refusing to be in your story until you promise to never dump pumpkin juice on anyone again. Apparently, it is quite sticky and orange.

Cass: Well, I can't make promises like that. You never know when you need to dump pumpkin juice on someone. What if it is a life or death pumpkin juice emergency and I said I would never dump it again? Someone could DIE. Do you want someone to die?

Lotus: Well, no... I guess I never thought of it that way. But... why do I have to be Harry? He's a boy. I'm a girl. I've actually covered this before, I think.

Cass: You volunteered. Can't back out now.

Lotus: I really don't think, 'Who wants a cookie? I need a favor first,' is really a fair way to get people to help you get your dare finished.

Cass: I really do have cookies.

Lotus: Alright, then. And Jenn is Ron...

Cass: Because the W stands for Weasley. Isn't that clever of me?

Lotus: Well, I probably wouldn't have used clever as the FIRST word to describe it. And why does Zymurgy get to be Hermione, who actually is a girl?

Cass: Because she has lightning. And she uses it quite frequently on people. Not to mention the frying pans and herds of rampaging animals.

Lotus: Quite right... carry on.

Cass: Thank you.


Mas manana...

Ok for you Cass, I don't mind playing Harry, at least you didn't say I was a boy for no reason.
I like this, more, more, more!!!
Hehehehe :shifty:
I want my cookie now! *pouts*

I'm just going to keep posting what I get done as I get done...

(Scene opens with Harry and Ron in the Boys' Dorm)
Harry!Lotus: La la la, I am the boy who lived. Let's go to the Common Room and see what is new in the world.

Ron!Jenn: *sigh* Alright, let's go. (They go down to the Common Room and see Hermione!Zy laying on a couch eating olives.)

Harry!Lotus and Ron!Jenn: Hey, Hermione!

Hermione!Zy: (Throws olive at Harry. It bounces off his/her head) You know what the biggest problem in today's world is?

Harry!Lotus: OUCH! (rubs head) No... but... I don't think you're in the script anymore.

Hermione!Zy: The biggest problem in today's world is that there aren't enough stuffed olives. Olives should be stuffed! Stuffed! Unstuffed olives lead to dissatisfaction, which leads to turmoil, which leads to conflict. Unstuffed olives cause wars. Stuffed olives are necessary for world peace!

Harry!Lotus: Um... the script? (looks at Ron)

Ron!Jenn: Actually, I was thinking from deviating from the script myself. I think Slashy would hurt me seriously if I started mooning over Hermione which the script is calling for.

Harry!Lotus: Could we please move on so that I can stop being male and get some cookies?
Cass: You all do realize how severely you think at this? I might need to recast...

Harry!Lotus: Cookies?

Cass: The only cookies you all have earned so far have raisins in them. Keep moving!

Hermione!Zy: Oh... fine. (falsely bright) Hey, did you notice that strange notice on the noticeboard? Who wrote this?!

Ron!Jenn: (reading) In compliance with a bet, the Hogwarts staff will be playing the students in a game of Quidditch. The bet details state that if the staff wins, the pumpkin juice will no longer be dumped on people's heads. If the students or anyone pretending to be a student win, the strike will end and juice will still be quite dumpable.

Hermione!Zy: PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER! I have a problem!

Cass: If it has to do with olives, I am so NOT the person to talk to.

Hermione!Zy: No. We are the students, so we are the ones playing in the Quidditch match. But we aren't REALLY students and we don't REALLY have any idea how to fly on a broom or not die from Bludgers or catch a flippin' Snitch or any of that jazz.

Cass: Yes, I see your problem. I want you to win this bet. I'll take care of it.

hehehehe very funny! very cool. Harry isssss missssssssssing

Finito!

Cass: (in loud announcer voice) Welcome to the Quidditch Grudge Match. In this corner, we have the student team, played by the Evil Elite. In this corner, we have the professor team...

Edge!Dean Thomas: Um... Cass. There aren't corners. They are hovering in the air in a big open field.

Cass: I was going for an effect. Get back on your broom! Playing for the students are Harry!Lotus, Ron!Jenn, Ginny!B2M...

Ginny!B2M: Yay! I'm a girl. It was the tights, wasn't it?

Cass: Stop interrupting me! *Ahem* Edge!Dean, MusicGirl187!Seamus, Hoiq!Lavendar, and Neville.

All: NEVILLE?

Cass: Yeah, apparently, he doesn't know everyone is on strike, so I thought I'd let him play because he seems to be the only person here who knows how to fly. For the professors we have Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Hagrid, and Filch. I realize they are playing one player short, but unfortunate accidents have kept the rest of the professors and staff from being able to attend today. (cackles loudly and scares a flock of chickens standing nearby. She recollects herself and blows the whistle).

HPgurl (as random announcing student): And they're off. Or some of them. Hagrid's too big to get off the ground and... yes, his broom has just broken! Flitwick is too short to get a good kick off from the ground and his broom keeps taking a nose dive back into the turf. And, apparently, Filch's lack of magical power is causing no reaction whatsoever in his broom. He's making a valiant effort of it however, running about on the field, waving his broom and Mrs. Norris at the offending team. It seems to have frightened Lavender quite a bit. That leaves three (checks the sky), no... two professors to carry on. Where is Snape?

Snape: I would be right here! (from right behind HPgurl, causing her to jump and screech loudly into the microphone. McGonagall dropped the Quaffle). I am curious, little Evil Eliter and... (recognizes the Queen Mother of the fic) Cassirin. I should have known! Where are my clothes!? (at this point, everyone on the ground realizes that Snape is wearing a large pinecone costume). I woke this morning to find all of my clothing missing. In its place was this bag, containing the oddest assortment of costumes.

Ron!Jenn: (flying in) That's mine! From the party...

Cass: Ron, now is probably not the time. Go offer Dumbledore some candy. (Ron flies away to offer Dumbledore a luvipop, which causes him to drop the Quaffle and then to start chasing a low-flying bludger around the field, calling terms of endearment.) Now, Professor Snape, you do look rather attractive as a pinecone. And... is that a polar bear? (a fat baby polar bear waddles up behind Snape)

Snape: Yes, this is Bobotuber. He was orphaned by Voldemort, and I adopted him. I named him after by favorite potion's ingredient.

(All the girls rush up to Snape and start cooing over Bobotuber and telling Snape how VERY nice he looks as a pinecone. Snape looks slightly furious and very embarrassed.)

Cho Chang!CatDGame: Oh, Snapey, honey! (she/ he wobbles in high heels and waves at Snape, who looks quite green). What a DARLING little polar bear. What a mean Voldypoopoohead to have hurt his mummy and daddy. (talks in baby talk to the bear and then to Snape and wobbles perilously in her/his heels again).

SlashMonster: NO! (runs in and bashes Cho on the head, causing her/him to fall over into a large puddle). I don't care if you ARE supposed to be a girl... no slashy.

Cho!CatDGame: Now I'll never win Search for a Supermodel comes to Hogwarts (pouts).

All the Students who were striking: WHAT? Search for a Supermodel comes to Hogwarts!

Cass: Wow... I've never heard that many people talk at once. Okay, people! Here's the deal. If you all come back inside now, I'll let you try out to be a Supermodel. Deal? (Everyone runs inside). Okay, guys. Thanks for your help, but I think the fic is over and you can all go home now.

Harry!Lotus: What about the cookies?

Cass: Right... (passes out delicious cookies) Thanks for reminding me, Harry!Lotus.

Lotus: We have our real Harry back now, Cass. Could you please stop calling me Hairy Lotus?

Cass: Right.

The End



Dare Requirements:
Lotus's(me) dare:
1. Most of the main characters must be played by Evil Eliters.
2. The teachers play quiditch against the students for a bet.
3. A character, for some reason adopts a baby polar bear to all the girls delight.
4. Search for a Supermodel comes to Hogwarts.
5. Someone must call out "Purple monkey dishwasher".
6. All Snape's clothes are ruined and he must resort to wearing something you choose.
Due date: 3rd Jan.

In addition, I had three "gifts" for Zymurgy, Lotus, and HPgurl. You received your presents in this fic... olive throwing, retaliation, and cameos. *Mwa!* You deserved it!

In case anyone wants to complain because they don't like that they didn't cameo in this fic... I put in people who have replied to my fics. I really try to read and reply after every update, as I know Zy and Lotus and quite a few of you do... it's just a friendly sort of evilness. So, I'm rewarding you for your good deeds...

It won't happen again, I promise.

You remembered about the W!
I don't mind playing Ron. Teehee.


:lol:Oh that was funny! Snapey stole my costumes! :shifty:

Oh a cookie :shifty: *munch*

Tee hee I'm Seamus! Thanks for putting me in a fic, I feel so special.

Kiss me, I'm Irish!! :shifty: *sigh* no I'm not...

Lovely job Cass, me likes the whole script idea! Very funny!!

*splutters* Hermione!? Why? *calms down* Well, I suppose I AM the intelectual Elite member... still... while everybody else here seems to object to "breech parts" I have done them in real live theatre and wouldn't mind playing Harry or Ron. Still, it's all for you to decide!
*Bows the the Queen of Cupcakeopia* I loved my chatting about the olives! Mind you, I hate them, but they're great conversation peaces!

Thank you, your Evilness, for considering me worthy to be in your story...
And very funny story, too...

hahaha!!! I was Ginny! (Although I think the pink tights might've clashed with the red hair...yet, pink IS a tint of red, or red IS a shade of pink, however u see it...)Yeah....EVILNESS IN PINK TIGHTS!!! Mwahahah!!! :lol: :shifty:

P.S.- just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down!!!(don't ask please...)

*grins wickedly* :D
Hahaha, Cass your my hero.
Cho Chang in a puddle!!!! Hahahaha. :lol: Supurbly done!
Now if only I could start your dare. I might do bit at a time.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish." :lol:
:slutsmileys:

the medine go down, juuust a spoon full of sugaaar makes the medicine go doooown, in a moost deeliiiitfull waaay!
GO JULIE ANDREWS!!! :lol: Don't ask... PLEASE! don't ask!

Sorry Cass... I'll just have to say that it was BRILLIANT once again!

Darling, Zy... what's with the singing?

"We're doing what?" Ron asked.

"Where?" Harry asked.

"How long?" Hermione asked.

The author sighed. "We're going camping. In the woods. For a week," she repeated for the fourth time. "It's a reward for all of you because of the whole pumpkin juice incident." The trio opened their mouths to ask the questions again, and the author held up her hand. "Tents. S'mores. Bug repellent. It'll be fun." And she walked away.

The students grudgingly packed their bags, and the author felt like maybe they didn't appreciate her kind gesture and pouted for a bit. Finally, it was time to go, and Flitwick jump roped into the Great Hall.

"Everyone grab a hold of the jump rope," Dumbledore ordered. Once the entire school was holding the rope, they all felt a pull at their navels and the world became all swirly. The entire student body fell to the ground as they landed in the middle of a large clearing.

"That," Flitwick grinned, "is the world's largest portkey. Made it myself," and he grabbed a towel and went off for a swim. Everyone else was left to pitch non-magical tents, collect wood, build fires, and otherwise hurt themselves in the numerous ways available when in the woods.

Snape hovered over a group of first years who had decided the best way to build a fire would be by rubbing two sticks together. The sticks were wet, green twigs, but their enthusiasm was quite pleasing. First years aren't that smart, unfortunately. "Will you twits hurry up with that fire!" Snape snapped, and the author was forced to leave to restrain Zymurgy from going to comfort her angry beloved.

"We're working as fast as we can," a little Hufflepuff whined while her friend snapped the twigs accidentally. Snape muttered a profanity that made the author throw a stuffed olive at him and brought out his wand. The first years cowered, until they realized he was magically lighting the fire.

"What's the rush?" Flitwick said as he approached, toweling dry, using a hula hoop, and drinking a cup of coffee. "Are you cold?"

"I'm not cold. I'm... what are you doing? Have you gone mad?" Stealthily, Snape opened a bag of marshmallows.

"What? Oh, no... I was pogoing the other day, and I fell on a bar of soap. I hit my head and ingested the soap at the same time. Since then, I've been feeling quite hyperactive. Plus, I can do this," and Flitwick blew soap bubbles from between his tiny lips. "Cool, huh? Hey, are those marshmallows?"

Snape sadly handed Flitwick a marshmallow and then clutched the bag tightly to his chest, watching with despair as Flitwick burned the marshmallow to a crisp with a gleeful shrug. Then the small man raced away to where he spotted several Muggle-borns tossing about a Frisbee.

Snape, who had a secret addiction to marshmallows, was quite depressed, and Zymurgy desperately wanted to go and comfort him. "Look at his little sad face," she sighed. "It's so little and sad."

"No... I don't have any socks to spare, so you can't go and be all mushy. We have mush rules... somewhere in the by-laws. No?" Cass said at Zy's look. "Somewhere in my personal by-laws then."

"Well, DO SOMETHING! He's sad!" Zy screeched, and Lotus gave Cass a begging look to keep Zy from ever screeching again. Cass grabbed Lotus's arm and dragged her over to Snape.

"Oy, Snape. I want to show you something." She cast about in her mind for a way to distract Snape. "My, Snape, I've never noticed before what lovely, strong hands you have." Someone threw a smelly sock at Cassirin. "Not like that! I've never felt sufficiently challenged in thumb wrestling, but looking at those hands... would you like to learn the noble and ancient art of thumb wrestling?"

Snape looked flattered and agreed. Lotus looked disgusted but stayed to watch. After a few moments of instruction, Snape easily beat Cass, who is quite bad at thumb wrestling and quite good at lying.

"Explain to me, again, why we are doing this?" Lotus mumbled out of the corner of her mouth. Cass gestured to Zy, who looked very happy. "Right."

The rest...

Across the large clearing, several Gryffindors were gathered around a tent that was nearly impossible for them to put up. At the same time, they were plotting how best to prank Snape, who was looking too happy for them to be comfortable.

"Well..." Ron started then stopped and screamed, drawing stares from students all around him. "Absolutely bohemian, creepy, downright exasperating, fairly ghastly..." he managed to creatively swear his way through the alphabet... "mosquitoes!" Ron began to run around in circles, slapping his body.

Hermione sighed, watching the man of her dreams run in circles and kill insects. She could help him! She WOULD help him!

"WAIT!" she shrieked and raised her wand. "In memory of Rita Skeeter," her voice was sarcastic. "Mosquitus Terminus." The mosquitoes all disappeared.

"Okay, so what was your idea for pranking Snape?" Harry asked Ron, who had collapsed on the ground after the mosquitoes all disappeared. Colin Creevey suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Maybe you guys shouldn't talk about this in front of me..." he started to leave, but paused at their surprised glances. "I'm just... I can't really... I... STOP BADGERING ME! Alright, alright... I'll tell you. My name isn't Colin. I"m not a Creevey. My name is Herman, and I'm a Snape. Professor Snape's nephew. I'm so ashamed!" He began to sob.

Everyone stared at him, and then moved about 10 feet to the right and continued their conversation as if nothing had happened. Colin, I mean Herman, continued to sob.

A few minutes later, their plan was inacted. An army of house elves, who had been informed that Snape DESPARATELY needed some S'mores, sat on said Potions Professor and force-fed him the gooey confections. Unfortunately for the naughty Gryffs, Snape loved S'mores, and was quite content with this arrangement.

Zy kept calling from the sidelines, "Don't eat too many, Snapey! You'll get fat and lose your good looks!" Someone threw a smelly sock at her, but no one knows who.

On yet another side of the clearing, Draco Malfoy was pouting because Jenn wouldn't love him. Somehow, the concept had finally sunk all the way through all that hair gel, and he was distraught that the evil love of his life could not evilly love him back. Cass, who had given up on the thumb wrestling lessons once Snape was sufficiently coated in house elves and S'more goo, stomped her foot.

"This is supposed to be fun. I'm not sure anyone is having fun," she watched as several third years put out their friend, who was on fire. "Was this a bad idea?" A gigantic bear lumbered out from behind some bushes and chased a fifth year Ravenclaw up a tree. "I know I can make SOMEONE'S day brighter. I'll try... Malfoy. MI!" The younger eliter snapped to attention. "Go and comfort Malfoy."

She stared at Cass for a few moments in shock and dismay, before turning to cross the large clearing. Under her breath, she mumbled, "What am I supposed to say to him? Cheer up! There are other evil fish in the sea. I'm not a flippin' therapist..." Cass could hear her but ignored her.

After only a few minutes talking, Draco grabbed MI's hand and kissed it. She blushed prettily, and the two skipped across the clearing holding hands. Cass looked for a smelly sock to throw, but decided to let it slide.

However, McGonagall threw down her plate of Beanie Weanies and kicked a log. "That's it! I can't take it anymore." She thrust a note into Dumbledore's hand and went to pack up her stuff. It read:

"Evil Dumbledore,
Evil evil evil evil evil evil. Evilly evil evil evil evil QUITE evil evil. Evil evilness evil evil evil evil evil evil, evil evil evil evil evil! EVIL EVIL EVIL!

Evilly, Minerva McGonagal

P.S. Evil? Evil evil evil!"

"It would appear," Dumbledore said, stroking his beard, "That Professor McGonagall is resigning until the camping trip has ended."

"But... how is she planning on leaving?" Cass said, rolling her eyes at Minerva's shortsightedness. If she didn't stop being so shortsighted, she might run right into something sharp and ouchy.

Flitwick screeched to a stop in front of them, driving a rusty VW van with loud colors painted on the sides. Minerva hopped into the passenger seat, and the two screeched out of the clearing.

Cass sighed. "Where's that portkey? Could it take us to Disney Land and then back to Hogwarts?"

Dare requirements:

Zymurgy's dare:
1) Collin Creavey must suddenly reveal that his real name is "Herman," and that he's Snape's nephew.
2) Flitwick must jumprope, swim, do the hula hoop, blow soap bubbles, drink coffee, burn some marshmallos, use a pogo stick, and drive a muggle car of your choice.
3) Snape must be force fed s'mores.
4) McGonagoll writes a letter of resignation to Dumbledore, full of the word "Evil."
5) Cassirin must teach Snape how to have a thumb war. Snape must win. Lotus must say, "Explain to me, again, why we are doing this?"
6) And FINALLY, it must all be set at a camping trip, and someone must curse all mosquitoes into oblivion, "In memory of Rita,"
Due date January 20th.

And a Draco to MI for being such a nice girl... and because I was mean to her one fic ago :). Your gift, my lady!

*laughs herself sick* oh... oh... oh PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER! Snape throwing socks at me? Sure, honey, I'll wash 'em for you!

Well, I think I threw a sock... or whoever was throwing them at the mush-mongers... but... yeah :)

purple monkey dishwasher indeed.

Question: IS that a purple dishwasher you wash monkeys with, a dishwasher you wash purple monkeys in, or a purple monkey that washes dishes? :huh:

All excellent questions... and the one to ask would be Lotus, who wrote-us. I mean wrote IT... I just couldn't avoid that rhyme. Sorry.

PENGUINS HAVE KNEES. Zy told me!

LOTUS! We need your expertise in here...

Cass!!! That was EVILNESS IN PINK TIGHTS!!! Why? Cuz I don't got no belly button (she don't got no belly button!) :lol: :lol: :lol: (I luv that song....)*sigh* Elementary my dear Watson, elementary.... :shifty: