Bread, Teacups and the Hospital Wing

Using these prompts:
{} Must include the trio.
{} Neville eats bread throughout the story.
{} Hermione think she's a teacup


Harry awoke to the hustle and bustle of Madame Pomfrey ushering Hermione into the bed next to his, a paler that usual Ron and Neville, who was eating bread, following behind her. Pomfrey gave Harry a brief glance before turning her full attention to Hermione, questioning Ron about what happened. Harry managed to hear snippets of the conversation, as he struggled to fight sleep.

“...Malfoy hexed her...” that was Ron, worry evident in his shaky voice.

“...Made her fink she wash ah teacup...” that was Neville, munching on his bread, making his words less distinguishable.

Harry tried to stifle a laugh, but from the looks that he was getting, it didn’t work out too well. Considering that Malfoy was the one who put him in here with a couple of stunning spells, a full-body bind and a disarming spell, all during a Quidditch match, hexing Hermione to think she was a teacup was a little too ‘First-year’ for a sixth year fight.

Pomfrey moved to her office to get a potion that was sure to fix the problem, leaving the three boys to talk about what happened.

“So, what exactly happened?” Harry asked, feeling more awake now than what he did before.

“Well,” Neville started, taking a bite of a fresh slice of bread, “Hermione was lecturing me on my bread-eating habits and how they were not good for me.” He paused to take another bite and Ron took over.

“I showed up, being chased by Malfoy and his cronies and they changed their attention to her.” Ron inclined his head to the girl looking around the room excitedly. “A few insults were thrown and wands were drawn. Next thing we know is Hermione shouting-”

“DO I HEAR A KETTLE? WHERE IS IT?”

“That” Neville finished meekly, seeing as how Ron had gone pale again. He took another bite and was sure to finish eating it before he turned to the girl “Then, on the way here she started singing. Hermione, would you sing that song for us again?”

Hermione looked at the three boys and sang:

“I’m a little teacup sleek and slender,
Blend some tea, but not in a blender.
Add milk and sugar, if you dare,
Just be sure to stir with care.
When I see the teapot,
Hear me shout,
‘Hurry up, hurry up,
Poor the tea out’”

Ron and Neville looked at her like she had a bad smell, but Harry simply laughed at it all. Neville pulled out yet more bread from his pocket, pulling of the bits of lint and hair that had been embedded in it, before eating it absently and asking “Wosh a brenda?”

Harry was saved from answering as Pomfrey chose that moment to appear, a teacup, teapot, and her wand balanced on a sliver tray. “Miss Granger, would you like some tea?”

Hermione nodded enthusiastically, reaching for the teapot, rather than the cup. Her hand was pushed away as Pomfrey reached for her wand. She tapped the pot and watched as it poured an orange tea into the cup before vanishing. Pomfrey handed the cup to the now confused girl, before saying, “If I let you pour that in yourself, you wouldn’t be able to drink it, dear. Now, drink up, before it goes cold” Pomfrey stood, grabbed the tray and walked back into her office.

Hermione drank the tea greedily, before blinking a few times and looking around, more confused than before. “Ron, Neville, how did we end up in the Hospital Wing?”

Neville was the one to speak, seeing as neither of the other boys was going to stop laughing anytime soon “Maowfoi heckshed joo” this only made the boys laugh harder. Hearing Neville talk with a mouth full of lint covered bread was just too funny for them to handle.

Hermione was saved questioning further by Pomfrey, who came to retrieve the cup and shoo Ron and Neville out. “Mr. Weasley and Mr. Longbottom, I want you out of here. These two need to rest.” The boys stood to leave. “And Mr. Longbottom, I don’t want you eating bread in my hospital wing again” she waved a menacing finger at the boy as he left, Ron trailing behind him.

Harry turned to Pomfrey, who stopped him from talking by passing him a dreamless sleep potion, then doing the same to Hermione. She watched as they downed the potions without question and settled in their beds to sleep, before heading to her office to do the paperwork.