The Sock-Eater Likes Pink Teddies
Theme 37: Animagus


These three unregistered animagi were James Potter, Sirius Black and –

“Fyo?”

Sighing, Fyo peered out from behind Hogwarts, A History. “Nov, don’t you have anything to do except annoying me?” he asked exhaustedly – Since the past ten minutes, this was the tenth time that she had disturbed him.

“But Fyohh –”

“Yes?”

“Fyoh, my teddy died.”

She held up her favourite pink teddy bear, and Fyo realized that one of its big, brown eyes was no longer in place: it had been dislodged, and thing was now one-eyed.

“Oh gosh – how did that happen?”

“Gold ate it.”

Orlando Bloom is Famous
Theme # 42: Portraits


Marleen Grenson – known to Fyo as the world’s most spoiled cousin – was being especially good to him these days. She had actually offered him her kneazle, to pet. [He had refused, because the kneazle in question was unusually fond of biting.] Others aware of the never-nice relations between Marleen and Fyo might wonder at this, but Fyo was not surprised.

He knew the only reason Marleen was doing this was because he had walked in on her kissing a portrait of Orlando Bloom [she claimed to hate muggles], and wanted him to keep his mouth shut about it.

Orlando Bloom Strikes Again
Theme # 38: Patronus


“MY PATRONUS IS NOT AN ANT!” Nova Balouch shouted, fighting back tears.

“Is too,” Marleen Grenson insisted. If truth be told, it wasn’t, but she just couldn't help finding teasing Nova fun, mainly because it did not take much to make the girl stamp her feet and cry. “I saw it.”

“That wasn’t a patronus!” Nova said furiously. “It was –”

“You know what? You're just a –” Marleen began sneeringly, only to stop as Fyo strolled into the room.

“How about just a spoiled, Orlando-loving kid who pretends to hate muggles?” he suggested casually.

One, Cracked Eggshell
Theme # 47: Portkey


Head buried in arms, Fyodor Balouch breathed deeply as he tried not to think of home – of Nova – and get on his with his homework.

“What’s the matter, Romeo?” Nat asked, thumping him on the back.

“I’m not Romeo,” he replied, voice all muffled.

“I’m not exactly Juliet, either,” she grinned. “So if you can stop looking like a cracked eggshell –” this was a term she often used, and a term whose exact meaning she alone knew – “we can go and play some quidditch.”

“I want a portkey,” Fyo replied, not bothering to raise his head.

Dirty Socks and Dragons
Theme # 63: Mooch


“Portkey?” Nat asked, blinking. “Um, why?”

“Because I’m homesick,” Fyo announced, finally looking up from the table he had been resting his head on, and flailing his arms for effect.

“I thought you were too much of a moocher to get attached to a place,” she said teasingly.

“Am not,” Fyo insisted. “I miss asking dad about dragons, I miss playing with Nova, I miss mum’s cooking and –” he paused, a hint of colour suddenly rushing up his cheeks.

“And?” Nat asked, sitting down besides him.

“And I hate having to wash my socks,” he said sheepishly.

More Dirty Socks
Theme # 40: Spell


Nat grinned. “HA!”

“Stop it,” Fyo raising an eyebrow as she began to laugh so hard, she actually slid off her seat. “It’s not funny.”

Wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, Nat forced herself to look serious. [Not only something that she found pretty hard, but also something that she failed spectacularly at.] “Well, why don’t you throw out all your old socks and get new ones?” she suggested. Which suggestion of her own, incidentally launched her into another spell of laughter.

“Because I bought the ones I have right now last Hogsmeade weekened,” Fyo replied dryly.

No Grabbing Brooms
Theme # 43: Headmaster


That wiped the laughter off her face.

“What?” Nat asked, eyes round and huge as gold galleons. “You’re joking!”

“Um, no,” Fyo said sort of sheepishly, giving a shrug of his broad shoulders. “And – oh, forget the socks, I just really miss the place.”

“Well, why don’t you go home for a week or two?” she said, in a way that suggested that that would be a piece of cake.

“I can’t just grab a broom and fly there, can I?” he asked sarcastically.

“No,” Nat agreed. “But you could always talk to the headmaster about it.”

Pretty Pink Flying Cars
Theme # 44: Ford Anglia


Talk to the headmaster?

“Yeah, sure – he’ll just whip out a pretty, pink flying Ford Anglia, and tell me I can fly it home,” Fyo said, the sarcasm in his tones all too evident as he tried [but failed] to restrain his eyes from giving an exasperated roll.

“No,” Nat said. “But he might show you a fireplace, and give you some floo powder.”

Know what? That wasn't such a bad idea, after all. There was just one, teensy problem…

– What IN THE NAME OF THE WORLD was he going to say he wanted to go back for?

Bad Miss Nat
Theme # 77: Cheerful


“You have no brains, Fyodor Balouch,” Nat said, plopping down on a chair, again. “You don’t have to tell the headmaster anything.”

“I don’t?” Fyo asked, surprised.

“Nope,” Nat replied, reaching for his bag, opening it, and taking out a Coconut Ice. “I’ll handle that.”

“But how?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’ll go to the headmaster and tell him you’ve gone mad. You just have to talk the way you always talk, maybe mention your socks and stuff, and he’ll have you packed up and sent home before you can say ‘help!’” Nat replied cheerfully.

"Detention."
Theme # 54: Dare


Fyo would never have done this if Nat had not dared him to. And here he was, having broken into Professor Stel’s office post-midnight and, once a quick silencing charm had ensured Madame Genteel – the said professor’s beloved cat – did not make any noise, feeding the kitty a potion that would turn it glowing pink all over.

Once the thing had lapped up the potion, Fyo checked a SQUEAL, and quickly set off at a run –

– Only to run straight into a glowering Professor Stel.

“Erm – why, hello, Professor,” he said, gulping.

“Detention,” came the silky reply.

Dead'ed, Pink Teddies [Are Not Good Enough]
Theme # 41: Thestrals


“First years this way.”

Ignoring the voice, Fyodor Balouch descended the steam engine that was the Hogwarts Express, watching dusk fall as he did so. There were students jostling around him, students who were chattering and dragging trunks.

He registered none of it; his mind was on Lissy.


Fyo blinked, surprised, as he halted in his tracks and realized that his legs had carried him to where the carriages stood, waiting for students to climb in. And, to double that surprise, they were horseless.

– Seemed like seeing Nova’s newest teddy die didn’t make you eligible to see thestrals.

Here She Comes
Theme # 53: Chase


Professor Stel's office was not a nice place to be: Fyo had made up his mind about that the night he had first broken into it [and been handed out detention], and now being here for the said detention was making him even surer of it.

A torch flickered in a bracket on the wall and, sighing, Fyo scrubbed at the floor with all of his might. Then there was a loud mew, and he turned his head to see Madame Genteel coming his way, chasing what was apparently a ball of wool that had rolled away from her.

Kitty, Kitty - Detention
Theme # 45: Torch


The torch flickered again, and Fyo rolled his eyes, before suddenly remembering that he still carried the bottle of potion Nat had whipped – the one that was supposed to turn the drinker pretty pink. He looked at the floor, then looked back at Madame Genteel: this, he decided, would be the perfect revenge.

“Come here, kitty, kitty,” he said, and the ‘kitty’ in question happily skipped over. He held out the wide-mouthed bottle – open – and, always ready for a meal, Madame Genteel began to drink what was within it.

“Detention again then, Fyodor,” a silky voice came from behind him.

Toy Werewolves [Are NOT Good Presents]
Theme 49: Yule Ball


Why Marleen’s family celebrated Yule and Christmas [both, and separately] Fyo could not – and never would be able to – comprehend. The most plausible explanation was that celebrating two events, instead of one, meant two sort-of-one-after-the-other big nights and, the Grenson's rule of thumb being along the lines of “the more parties, the better,” that was supposedly fun.

So here he was now, sitting out the stupid Grenson Yule Ball much against his will, and wishing that he had his Butterfly, and not the toy werewolf Marleen had just given him, in his arms.

Ze Fyoch Boch
Theme 48: Leprechaun


Lavish. Really lavish. Fyo rolled his eyes as, her gown sparkling in all the radiance of the room, Marleen clapped her hands and a shower of leprechaun gold began to cascade from the brilliantly-lit roof, to the similarly-lit floor of the Grenson’s grand ballroom.

“Yeah, I know,” Nat said, catching the look on his face. “It's pathetic.”

“Actually, it would be cool,” Fyo returned. “If she hadn’t shown off a dozen other tricks of hers in the past fifteen minutes.”

“The past ten minutes, Fyoch Boch, not the past fifteen,” Nat replied with a smirk.

Toy Werewolves Are NOT Good Presents [Especially When They Bite]
Theme 79: Author's Choice


Fyoch Boch? Fyo hated it when Nat called him that. [Need I mention she called him that about ninety nine point nine percent of the time?]

“That’s not funny, Knitwear,” he said crossly, crossing his arms against his chest. “You do NOT need to –”

“Whatever you say, Fyoch Boch,” Nat cut through, sticking her tongue out at him.

GAH! Not bothering to reply, Fyo threw the rather grosteque looking toy werewolf Miss Marleen Grenson had “bestowed” upon him on the floor, and stamped a foot on the thing.

– The toy werewolf opened a big mouth and bit it.

Strike Two
Theme 90: Present


“OWWWW!”

“What happened?” Nat asked instantly, the laughter leaving her face and being replaced by worry as Fyo jumped back.

“The thing bit me,” Fyo said angrily, grabbing a pair of black, metal tongs lying on a nearby table, and picking up the toy werewolf with it. “It has teeth.”

Nat’s mouth twitched, but she somehow managed not to laugh out loud. “Um, well, that’s really bad of Marleen, giving it to you as a present,” she said, poking the BAD toy in the eye.

In response, the thing opened its yellowish, plastic jaw….

– And bit Fyo again.

[Sort of] Similar, Actually
Theme 58: Hoot


Xyntheshia Khan–Balouch’s eyes followed her son’s gaze, and landed on the owl that he had declared was his. “You want that?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Fyo said, nodding in response. “It's perfect.”

“Is not,” Xyntheshia said, at once. “Come on, Fyo, why can’t you just want a normal-looking owl that hoots and is all cute and pretty? Why something that looks like it won’t do much but sleep and eat and seem mysterious all day long?”

“Maybe because the first two things remind me of Nova,” Fyo replied, rolling his eyes.

Romantic Rescue
Theme 46: Dungeon


What was she doing here? Fyo's eyes twinkled in pleasant surprise as, having snuck into the kitchen corridor for an early afternoon snack, he found Lissy at the doors. People, he decided, did indeed have a tendency to materialize out of thin air every time he thought of them. Correction: Butterfly had a tendency to materialize out of thin air every time he thought of her.

Fifteen minutes later, they had left the kitchen level corridor, together.

– Fyo did not even see the water rise behind them, ready to flood the floor the way it had flooded the dungeons.

The Family Story
Theme # 57: Gape


It was snowing; close to the fireplace in his common room, the only thing Fyo could say when Lacey asked him if he would like to hear a ghost story, was “Go ahead.” Because ghost stories were fun, and they were all the more so in the thick of winter.

It was about a once-happy family and, by the end of it, Fyo was shaking his head. Not good, what happened to those people - - And then he was restraining himself from gaping, as Lacey mentioned she might be the baby who, in the story, was said to have disappeared.

Broken Bones Into the Mix
Theme # 56: Fight


If you knew Fyodor Balouch, you knew that he was not, had never been, the type to pick a row. He was a calm sort of person by nature, the kind who would rather resolve a problem than fight it out. But he seemed different, today, really different: his hands were balled into fists, there was fury in his eyes, and his expressions were at their clear coldest.

How dare he. How dare he, that Torin Kane guy, kiss Lissy? HIS Lissy. HIS Butterfly. How. Dare. He.


Torin left for the hospital wing with a broken nose, later that day.

Fyoch Boch Strikes Again
Theme # 55: Egg on


"Marleen is so annoying," Nat was now saying. Fyo hugged his knees closer to himself, continuing to ignore the more-than-hint of teasing so evident in her tones. "I mean, if she'd used a permanent sticking charm to stick a stupid toy werewolf that bites every two minutes to my bed, I would have stolen her most expensive ballgown and BITTEN that stupid, pink diary of hers that she's always writing in. Now, you -"

"Stop egging me on!" Fyo burst out. "Knitwear, what's your problem?"

"You, Fyoch Boch," Nat replied, looking the perfect epitome of haughtiness.

For Certain, Spooked
Theme #60: Joke


Was. Lacey. Joking?

She could NOT be that baby. Fyo's eyes were round as galleons as he listened to her, and his breath was definitely a little rustier than usual.

"But the baby disappeared," he said, trying to talk some sense once he had told her the whole thing sounded strange, utterly bizarre and a dozen other things that were synonymous to those words.

Five minutes later, Lacey was running off, running off to confirm, from her aunt, whether she really was that baby, and the whole thing had been hidden from her.

Fyo's eyes were still huge.

[This Time, Unmeant] Collisions
Theme #62: Lope


You might have seen him pouring over Arithmancy books, you might have seen him talking to his mirror like it was, say, a cute, little kitten - might even have seen him loping [a gait he did not prefer], or throwing a fist [regrettably, after that angry, little Torin incident] but Fyodor Balouch marching was certainly a sight unique to see.

March, march, march. Camera slung over shoulders, the young man seemed all ready to brew a storm as he - well, marched - his way through the Bamboo forest, not looking only too happy.

- Only to be collided into, by Torin Kane.

"Hey, Gorgeous!"
Theme #65: Ooze


What was the Kazi!Man saying? Fyo blinked as their Potions Master told them - pretty cheerfully, too - that they were required to clean dirty cauldrons as part of their first potions lesson of the term but, half a minute later, he had decided the task was not that bad.

The Gryffindor found himself [an undoubtedly filthy] pewter cauldron, eyeing it rather suspiciously as he did so - Given how Professor Kazi's mind could sometimes work, it wouldn't be a wonder if the thing oozed pink bubblegum all of a sudden or, say, sprouted scaled wings or yelled "Hey, Gorgeous!"