Peeves meandered around the grounds, looking for his next victims. It was not easy to pick the perfect person to play a prank on; who wouldn't snap at anything ever done to them. Looking toward the audience, he frowned.

“Fansssssssss!!!” Peeves exclaimed, extraordinarily high-pitched voice. “I'm gonna throw some dungbombs at you. DO NOT SNAP.”

“Mmhmm... no one can snap like you,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Now isn't the time.” Peeves said getting the dungbombs ready.

“When is?”

Thump, Thump. Dungbombs bounced off the crowds' heads and exploded, filling the auditorium with fowl smells.

There was no way Peeves would be caught dead outside of Gryffindor Tower. Sure he was the school poltergeist, but if he could be sorted than he knew it would Gryffindor that the hat would place him. Chivalry – he had that. Not a clue what it meant, but it sounded cool.

But it was the next term that he knew was like “PEEVES! GRYFFINDOR! NOW”. Daring. If he wasn't daring, than he never would have managed all those pranks over the years. So Peeves just KNEW he was daring.

Besides, who else could dare me to write this?

“No! I won't wear that AWFUL plaid jumpsuit to the opening feast!” Peeves exclaimed at the headmaster, ready to throw the cockroach clusters at him. If it was soooo appealing, why didn't HE wear a plaid jumpsuit? Oh right, he was Headmaster . . . and a wizard.

“It's not that bad ...” The Headmaster said calmly, knowing it was though.

“Oh? Why don't you wear it?” Peeves spat.

“Can't. Headmaster.”

Peeves rolled his eyes. “Fine. But I'm painting the WHOLE jumpsuit bright orange.” Orange would be better than plaid; and it'd ruin color coordination too.

Creeping down the kitchens, Peeves had to be grateful he was no student. Though if he was than he would have gotten some treacle tarts and chocolate fudge at the opening feast, because he wouldn't have been humiliated by his bright orange jumpsuit. Though it was his idea to dye it, it was the Headmaster that made fun of it.

Whatever. He'd get his cup of tea when he found the bed bugs in his sleeping chamber. Now was chocolate time.

Almost there . . .

“Freeze!” The head elf shouted. “Bajeezus! Who knew the pranking poltergeist had a sweet tooth?”

“It does not do to dwell on the past....” Peeves read the inscription on the wall outside the Headmaster's office. Oh what hogwash that was, he sighed, rolling his eyes. Even Peeves knew that without the past, he would not know what mistakes were made and therefore could not correct them.

Like the major pranks of the past – done by him and other great minds, like the memorable portable swamp and fireworks by the Weasley twins. Those were awesome moments of the past, but can be improved upon by knowledge of them.

Knowledge of the past is vital . . .

Learning from the past can only help us in the future. This term, for instance, Peeves knew he would do pranks differently from before. It was the chance to start all over again and he would do it right – with diplomacy.

No more throwing wet socks at passerbys or calling out names. He was going to be good. It was a bright future for the poltergeist. No more dungbombs or stink pellets or water balloons.

There was only lemondrops. In which Peeves gleefully spat out at random students as they left they Great Hall for the first time that year.

There was no way that Peeves would be caught cantering around the grounds like some triathlete. Really it wasn't as if he was some gorgeously strong Palomino that could lope around the grounds easily. Staring at the third years at the Magical Creatures lesson, the poltergeist groaned as the students effortlessly climbed on the back of Abraxans, who would lope around the edge of the Forbidden forest.

So rhythmically. So little effort. So graceful.

Though Peeves, if no one else, knew that they would get what was coming to them. Soon, they would pay for their rhythmic grace and gait.

No one ever suspected the potions master. Which is exactly why the poltergeist would make sure it was the potions master who did the dirty work . . . who got framed for his endeavors. Mooching off the rich pureblood kids for monies for prank items was so epic!

Sliding down into the Slytherin Common Room – because that was where all the rich kids were, right? - Peeves made sure it was late in the night, when all were asleep. Checking the pockets . . . the poltergeist discreetly mooched galleons here or there, ensuring he left potion residue behind.

There was nothing like dreaming during a refreshing after-prank nap. During this particular dream, Peeves was down in the entrance hall with the well-known Fred and George. They had been plotting a major food fight to take place OUTSIDE. It would involve targeting anyone wearing purple pokadots in which one would have a paintball gun and shoot it at random people outside.

The other two . . . would then make targets of them and laugh when they got hit with a Shepard's pie or treacle tart. Of course, don't forget the chocolate fudge lava cake!

Naps were entertaining too!

The beginning of the term was always easy for the 'quick prank jobs', as students filed into the Great Hall the morning of the first day at Hogwarts. Students were groggy from lack of sleep after celebrating with their new and returning housemates, which made them perfect targets.

Peeves would be lurking around the banister overlooking the lobby. Unsuspecting firsties were the best because they didn't know him yet. So as they would teem just outside the hall, Peeves would aim his water balloons at them.

Nothing like entering the Hall for your first morning at Hogwarts being soaking wet.

Creeping under the staff table at the opening feast, Peeves was grateful that the tablecloth draped to cover the whole side of the table. Professor's feet and most importantly – he – couldn't be seen. Working from one end to the other end of the table, he untied each professor's shoelaces and tied one lace to shoe next to it.

Oh those professors would kill him if they knew . . . But gosh this was going to be amusing when one rose from their seat. This was the punishment for teaching a poltergeist how to untie and tie shoelaces.

Some could say that Peeves was a professional at vexing, but honestly, it was just part of being a poltergeist. Annoying others was part of the personality that came naturally . . . no training necessary.

“Ickleeee firstieesss out of bedd!!!!” Peeves would exclaim at high-pitch tones. Like those loud and obnoxious buzzing noises that you couldn't shake and were just there. That was Peeves. He would be there to yell and shout when something was off just to annoy those who were getting into trouble.

Yet, when it was him getting in trouble, he was nowhere in sight.

“Ssh! He's coming!” One Gryffindor girl hushed, scurrying around the bend on the third floor.

“I doubt we'd get in trouble! We're just going to charms. Three hours early.” Her friend giggled back.

“I wouldn't trust that …. or your giggle,” she frowned, scolding her friend. “Peeves has been known to pop out of nowhere. He's loud and rude and will get a professor.”

“... And he will hear youuuu warning your friend about me. All of which are . . .” Peeves paused for dramatic effect. “Professor! Studentsss loitering in the hallll!” he screeched, grinning broadly at the girls.

“Do not let the lights go out under your cauldrons,” the potions master instructed first and foremost. Robes billowing as he turned and wrote the potion on the board, he whirled back around a moment later.

“I mean it, Peeves,” he glared at the poltergeist, mentally muttering about the ridiculous idea of giving the poltergeist and caretaker a potions lesson over the summer.

Peeves pinched the flame, extinguishing it instantaneously, following it with an innocent look. “Oops. Sorry. I was seeing if it was hot. It wasn't.”

“No excuses. You are dismissed from this and ALL potions lessons.”

Waving his fake wand around, Peeves was basking in the glory of his new toy. He could pretend to zap people with it and majority of the time . . . they fell for it. For two seconds until they realized nothing happened at all.

For instance: incoming pair of students from the grounds; Peeves would brandish his wand and say 'Zap!' whereas one of the students would fall to his knees. For a second, when their friend shook their head. “C'mon! Get up silly! It's a fake!”

Peeves would walk away cackling and looking for the next zap victim.

“Well aren't you in a cheerful mood today, Peeves?” McGonagall asked by way of friendly conversation as she passed the poltergeist in the hallway.

“Sure … if you could consider catching students out of bed again last night putting me in a chipper mood. Honestly, can't they learn to stay in their common rooms after curfew?”

“But then you would be bored.”

“I'd find some use for my time,” he grinned, mischievous twinkle in his eye. Though he doubted the professors would approve.

“Oh Peeves, what would we do without you?” Everything, McGonagall answered mentally.

No time like the present . . . Least that's what Dumbledore told Peeves when he warned him about his behaviors for the coming term. But that was all Dumbledore had bothered to say, which left Peeves' actions rather open.

That meant the time was now to start a new prank; this one would involve getting ickle first years into trouble. Easy peasy.

Reset the alarm clocks in the first year dormitories making it AM instead of PM. At night, their alarm goes off and they think they're running late to their lesson – BAM! Out of bed after curfew.

There was no way that Peeves would be eating that chicken kabob from the feast. Even at the feast it looked horridly dried out with no flavor. Not to mention that he was trying really hard to not eat meat, as he read a book over the summer about how vegetarians succeed more at their pranks. Being a poltergeist, where pranks were his forte, he had to test that theory out.

“...and now, as our new start of term ritual, we're going to all do the chicken dance” the headmaster concluded his speech and the music began playing.

So much for avoiding meat.

“Bouillabaisse” Peeves overheard Hermione telling Ron about this one foreign dish at the tables that evening.

“Bull an allergy more like it,” Peeves mused as he glanced around the great hall. Who to prove his allergy to that would be the question? Ah . . . that redheaded boy would be the perfect victim. With a swift and subtle movement, the poltergeist glided across the hall and picked up a spoonful of the French fish stew. Flinging a spoonful at the boy was just enough to trigger the poltergeist's allergy.

“Achhoooooooo!!!!!!!”

The snot flew to covering ANYTHING in sight.

There was nothing like a traditional snowball fight in the middle of the quidditch pitch in January. Everyone would come out to partake . . . even Peeves, who from time to time, hid stuff like jelly and dung in the snowballs. But the secret insides made the fight all the more interesting to watch [and participate] in.

“Oh no you don't!” Peeves grimaced, as he threw a special mango-seeded one at the magical creatures professor.

It hit her square on in the back of her head. Mango seeds and rinds in the hair would NOT be fun to wash out.




Dedication note: This one goes to the lovely Claudia and her School RP character who likes chewing on those mangoes! <3

Pushing up his [fake] glasses, Peeves sat at one of the reference tables with a ginormous book in front of him. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, he mentally repeated, trying to sound it out just right. This was one of the longest words he could find, which meant using it would maybe impress the headmaster enough to let him teach a lesson next term.

{Enter Peeves' imagination}

“Oh headmaster! It would be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious of you if you let me teach the children a lesson next term”

“Only if you don't use the dictionary as your textbook” the headmaster warned.

“You won't be disappointed” Peeves grimaced.

SWAT!

The rolled up Daily Prophet paper connected with another pesky fly. At least the poltergeist was being semi-useful with his murdering of the pesky flying bugs. With only the occasional swatting at first years, who could really complain?

Except for one young slytherin boy . . . who eyed Peeves cautiously as he ate his porridge. Something that Peeves did notice. With an innocent swat there and another there, it seemed hardly purposeful when the newspaper connected with the porridge bowl, sending the food product flying in the air and the bowl landing like a hat on the boy's head.

When Peeves wanted satisfying, then there was nothing like messing up a Ravenclaw's HARD WORK known as homework. Oh yes, they're homework was always the best to mess with because they worked the longest and hardest on it. So when they would find it worse for the wear, it was most devastating.

It was two weeks before the end of term, which meant nearly everyone was cramming information into their brains. Planting several dungbombs in the Ravenclaw Common Room as well as air-absorbent laxatives.

If the stench wasn't enough, the poor Eagles would be in the bathroom instead of studying.

Mischief is not something that should be taken lightly; only select few people would succeed in pulling off a successful prank, but even more will fall victim to pranks. No matter what category though, the spirit of the poltergeist will forever be known for their mischievous ways. They thrive on making loud noises of disruption and drawing attention to themselves. Once a home is established for the poltergeist than it is highly difficult to get them removed.

Though annoying because it is unknown about their existence being real or imaginary, they do make life more interesting.

Perhaps, even a hoot!

“Ooooooooh, Ickle firsties!” Peeves cooed as he swept down the corridor, tilting the portrait frames at odd angles and blowing raspberries in interjection at random students. There was no stopping the master of chaos now; not after Fred and George's parting words of years past. Seemingly, there was some hope for Peeves listening to others, but only when it revolved him causing more mischief.

Chucking bits of parchment and random slugs at the students could only go so far. Peeves was not idiot enough to believe his jokes would be eternally funny.

Though it was still just a joke.



*****


The End.
Thank you all for your patience and for reading my drabbles and hope you enjoyed at least some of them! <3