Switching spells. That's what Luna was practicing at the moment; she wanted to master the art of switching the colors of her socks so they didn't match. Innocently whistling along the second floor corridor, she wasn't even looking up when she whacked herself right into the door of an unused classroom.

“What in Merlin's – ?”

Poking his head out of the classroom, Peeves shook his head. “This classrooooooom is occupieeddddd, Loonyy Loo!” He grinned, as he held up a Kwikspell book. Cause he was totally practicing some spell work with Filch. Between the pair, they could figure out this transfiguring nonsense.

Someone left a trail.

It was like they were trying to tell him something in weird symbols, which if Peeves paid any attention at all he would know that they weren't just symbols but runes. More fortune telling stuff.

Perth. Ehwaz. Ansuz. Sowilo. Ehwaz.

But it didn't stop there; the stones with the symbols kept along the corridor evenly spaced.

Fehu. Othila. Raido. Ehwaz. Wunjo. Ehwaz. Raido.

Pease? At first he thought it was a horrible misspelling of his name, but then upon closer interpretation he realized that the person was quite simply trying to promote PEACE Forever.

How charming.

Fire.

No one knew the dangers involved, but it got Peeves' mind reeling with possibilities. This wasn't his first time around the element; it was the first time that he was bored and with the time to conceive to a plan.

“Peeves! Don't even think about!” Ginny scolded him from the window in the Gryffindor tower, thinking quick and summoning her broom.

But just as she reached the danger zone, Peeves threw the flaming torch in the direction of the Forbidden Forest.

“Aguamenti!” Ginny cast, zooming fast towards the flame and managing to save flame from the forest.

Harry was in detention again; no surprise there, especially since it was with Professor Snape. But the big surprise was that his detention involved washing the dungeons walls of the castle with Peeves. The only problem was that Peeves' idea of washing anything including spitting spitballs on the walls, while Harry scrubbed.

“Peeves, can you please NOT make this any harder for me?”

“Harrrryyy Pottterrrr is a whinnnerrrrrr!!” Peeves echoed, spitting up something gross and projectile it onto the walls.

“Can you NOT be so loud?” Harry shook his head, scrubbing the wall more. Stupid non-magic detention rule.

“They're too TIGHT and too much lace!” Peeves complained as he frowned at the black velvet with lace and ruffles that draped his frame.

Shaking her head, Ginny didn't really know what to do; she was to be nice to Peeves so that he wouldn't feel left out and therefore reduce his need to ruin a fun-filled evening. Yet all he seemed content to do was to complain about whatever she had him try on.

“I can fix the tightness with a simple charm, but I need you to just stop fidgeting!” she scolded and for once he listened.

Rippppppppppppppppp!

Almost.

It was common knowledge that creatures were not allowed in the common rooms. However, there was one being that was unique which would be Peeves because although the Headmaster had forbade him from the whole castle even, there wasn't much good reason.

Except for when Peeves played practical jokes on the Fat Lady's portrait, terrifying her to the point of hiding in Violet's portrait. As he did every so often, out of amusement mostly. And because he liked to see the students suffer in trying to find out what happened to the Fat Lady this time.

Ha! And they called themselves brave!

The best part about unattended classrooms lies in the notion that they could easily be abused and it would take weeks, sometimes longer, before someone discovers the damage. At least that was what the chubby poltergeist thought about when he was chewing a huge wad of pink bubblegum that he found under the railing of one of the staircases on the seventh floor. Ickle students not throwing their sugar away!

It was the ickle students that would suffer in not being able to use the practice classroom properly due to the big wad of DRIED gum on the door handle and in the keyhole.

It wasn't like he had purposely spread the rumor of Harry Potter being the Heir of Slytherin, but the students were unfortunately smart enough to figure it out. No one else could talk to snakes AND the heir had returned to Hogwarts. And since the sorting hat had wanted to place Harry into Slytherin, House of Snakes, it all fit the mold.

“ssssssssssssssssssss.......” Peeves would hiss in Harry's direction whenever the egocentric second year walked by. “Ssstheee sssheeeirrr ssoff Sslyytherinn”

Oh yes because even poltergeists had the ability to learn the language of snakes; at least fake it.

Can you sneak like a poltergeist?

The way pace around the castle . . . wreaking mayhem in whatever crosses their path. It wasn't an easy job but it certainly wasn't the most demanding. Of course it shouldn't be demanding because it wasn't like poltergeists got paid; actually they were generally shunned from wherever they resided. It was a wonder Hogwarts had allowed one for so many years, but now, even in the mayhem wreaked, their poltergeist was a part of the castle.

Pacing . . . throwing dungbombs . . . shrieking at students . . . Peeves was practically at home.

“Pleeeeaseee!! Not now, Peeves!” Hermione pleaded to the poltergeist. Annoying thing that was, which was saying something from the one who had high tolerance of beings rights.

Hermione was – naturally – in the library, perusing books and reading on something or other to help Harry no doubt. However Peeves had decided to squelch in some puddles and then splash Hermione with the water on his feet. “Not the books!” she frowned at the watermark that was smearing one of the words on her parchment.

“Oh no! Oh no! I've misspelled quelled!”

Who knew Hermione was a poet?


Inspired by my Staceh who unknowingly rhymed quell with misspell. Love you darling! <3

In the hundreds of quidditch games he'd been to, he never really could picture himself flying. Though he tried it once, very long ago but mostly he preferred the ground and distracting the fans through causing trouble.

Sliding into the seat in the back row so as to be undetected, Peeves watched quietly for the first half of the game; then when Gryffindor scored for fifth time, that was when he launched his plan into action.

Which was barely launched at the lion roar coming from Loony Lovegood's hat that knocked Peeves backward. Who knew his plots could backfire with a 'bang'?

It was a full blown, hard sound that seemed to echo throughout the castle. Fortunately the students could not bear witness to the Hogwarts' prankster at his weakest point. The Headmaster was furious and wanted him out of the castle by the time the students returned.

He wanted to inquire whether that meant he could live in the greenhouses or the caretaker's hut. Even Peeves didn't have it in him to spit that one back out. Sure he was furious at the stunt he pulled on flooding the second floor, but Peeves also knew by now that the Headmaster was bluffing.

The slap was enough to prove it.

It wasn't like Magical Transportation was a common mode for creatures to use; although it was questionable whether poltergeists were considered creatures or not. Regardless of the fact, one could be certain that this was the first time that Peeves would be traveling via portkey. His presence was requested, after all, by the Minister to present his case for remaining at Hogwarts.

Ten o'clock sharp, the small pillow glowed blue. Taking hold, Peeves immediately felt himself spinning down a tornado-like hole. The fastness and dizzying circles made him want to vomit.

And he did the moment his feet touched the ground of London.

“I am a Poltergeist!” Peeves whined to the newest Magical Creatures Professor, who was insisting otherwise. “That's P-O-L-T-uh....A-G-I-C-T”

“Uh huh,” the professor rolled their eyes. “You can't even SPELL it which means that you clearly are not.”

“But I am! I am an indestructible spirit! I cause chaos!”

“No! You're out and much too solid. And that outlandish hat, plus the loud chuckle and ability to cause mischief... You are most CLEARLY a leprechaun!”

Not even bothering to answer back, Peeves swooped away and grabbed a textbook, chucking it at the Professor. “Told ya! Poltergeist!”

*blows raspberry*

The annual yule ball, which had become a favorite of the students since the Triwizard Tournament, was happening again. This year it was one week before Christmas holidays and so everyone wanted to go because it was excuse not to pay attention in class the last week as well as stay up late.

Meaning that numbers of students out of bed after curfew was increasing and was harder to contain them.

“OUT OF BED!!! ICKLE STUDENTS OUT OF BED!!” was being echoed constantly that Peeves felt like a recording at times. Filch would come running and always Peeves would say, 'Nothing.'

“Loony, Loopy, Loony Lovegood,” Peeves sang as he swooped down the corridors. “Always off in a daze, it's like she is lost in maze. Loony, Loopy, Loony, Lovegood. Her eyes are glazed and tart, it's a wonder that she is smart.”

“Stop it, Peeves!” Hermione ordered, even though it wasn't her being made fun of.

“Oh... has the brainy know-it-all come to the rescue?”

“Peeves! Don't make get the Blood Baron!”

Peeves chuckled. “I shan't afraid of no Baron!”

“Well fine then. I'll set the boggart in the cupboard on you!” Humphing, Hermione stalked off.

“Oh Filch, please, it's not that hard to create chaos,” Peeves begged of the caretaker.

Filch simply shook his head; there was no way he was going to start trouble. The kids already hated on him enough; he didn't need it to be more because he CAUSED them to get into trouble. “No!” He said firmly.

“Pleasee.... It won't hurt!” Peeves continued pleadingly.

“Fine. Just once.” At those words, Filch reluctantly grabbed a water balloon from the bucket and threw it down into Entrance Hall where a group of students stood chatting.

It missed slightly, but splashed the girls' robes nonetheless.

It wasn't the first time the Fat Lady left her portrait guarding Gryffindor tower, but it was the first time that Peeves found her outside the portrait. She had been visiting with a friend and ran into Sir Cadogan along the way.

“Awww!! Looksie howww cutsieee!!!” Peeves taunted the pair, poking his chubby finger toward them . Both of the figures glared at the poltergeist. After glaring though they immediately went back to staring at each other.

Evidently Sir Cadogan was arguing that he was a better guardian of the Gryffindor Tower and that he would not leave his post ever.

“I am NO squib!” Peeves declared proudly when overhearing students talking about his blood status.

“Oh yea? Then can you do this?” The tall Slytherin boy asked, flicking his wand and levitated peanuts, causing them to launch themselves at the poltergeist.

“No! I don't CARE either!”

“Well then you are a squib until proven otherwise.”

“Fine,” Peeves floated over and smacked the dumb boy's head against the wall with each word following, “I am a full, pureblooded poltergeist.” Peeves finished with his usual raspberry blowing in the boy's face.

Pfft. Take that, stupid Slytherin.





Author's note: No offense meant to any Slytherins... y'all know that I love you dearly! <3

It was no business for Peeves to be muddling in things that weren't of his concern. But this WAS his concern when the Headmaster was allowing for the first time to let muggles tour Hogwarts. How was the school supposed to be kept secret if it was now being treated like some museum?

“Please! Just think of how many Wizarding secrecy laws you are breaking, Headmaster!” Peeves pleaded.

“It is not your concern. The laws have changed.”

And there was nothing Peeves could do about it except be present for the tour and cause chaos to chase them away before they see TOO MUCH.

“Can poltergeists become animagi?” McGonagall posed to her sixth years. It was an interesting question for debated because technically speaking they weren't ghosts. They were not wizards either and therefore had no magical ability.

After some discussion, McGonagall continued the lesson with: “True they cannot be animagi, but poltergeists can indeed disguise themselves and are actually talented with it.”

Hogwarts' poltergeist, Peeves, loves disguising himself in the armor to scare first years. He would hide in an armor suit; then when the students least expect it, Peeves would clang out of the armor, throwing random bits at them and just being loud and boisterous.

“No! I have not and will not read that ridiculous book,” Peeves said for the hundredth time at the annual staff meeting.

“But Peeves – don't you see how valuable Hogwarts, A History is? With that book, you will know so much more about the school you refuse to leave and therefore be able to use your . . . skills, to a better use.” The Deputy Headmistress explained rationally.

It all made sense in theory; any moron could see that, but Peeves just shook his head. “I'll feel . . . ridiculous though, reading it.”

It was cozy in there.

Which is also why they all fought for that place on the first floor every year on Valentine's Day. Foremost, students seemed to think that what they knew, the professors and mainly PEEVES, didn't know about it. What they didn't realize was that Peeves had been around longer than them and knew of far more places in the castle then they could ever learn in their seven years at Hogwarts.

Which is why one seventh year couple was quite surprised to find the door to the secret room sealed shut; with chewing gum and haphazardly inserted nails.

“I'm a spirit, I don't need gloves,” Peeves would ever remind the Herbology Professor at their annual staff meetings.

“You're also not a Professor, you don't need to be offering input; nor do you even need to be here,” Sprout would remind him, rolling her eyes.

“But I am here and dragonhide is terrible for the environmentalist. It kills innocent creatures for selfish reasons. There are better materials that could be used that would not require killing innocent animals.”

Hagrid blinked in shock. When had Peeves become the animal lover? “Like wha'?” Innately curious as to his suggestion.

“Whomping willow bark.”

“Size two, pheeeeeew-ter” Peeves sang as he floated out of the dungeons, past a group of second years .

The loudest of the second years – a slytherin - glared at Peeves, knowing the poltergeist had done something obnoxious. “If you did anything to tamper with our class, then the Bloody Baron will be after you.” That was a promise.

“Pheeeeew-ter” The poltergeist cackled, as they entered the smelly classroom. After just a moment though, they were all gagging in the hallway till Snape appeared.

“Get in. We have much to do.”

“Not in there! Peeves exploded dungbombs in like ALL the cauldrons!”