Once the swirling black ink had settled, the next memory took form and now Severus and Lily were in their third year. Severus' black hair was just as greasy as ever and was a stark contrast against Lily's flaming crimson locks. Both were bundled up warmly and walking through a snow covered road on their way to Hogsmeade.

"What's got your wand in a knot, Severus?" she asked. "I thought you liked going to Hogsmeade."

"I do," he nodded, glancing towards her. "You and that Potter are getting kind of close..."

"That arrogant toe-rag? Please," she laughed. "You are more important to me."

Lily sat down at the Gryffindor table and peered across the Great Hall towards the Slytherin table looking for Severus. After getting him and his friends in trouble in the library for looking at the restricted section without permission, her best friend had been avoiding her and it worried her.

"This chicken is more greasy than Snivellus' hair," Sirius jested as he threw the chicken down on his plate.

"Bet you the house elves used the grease from his hair to fry it," James chuckled.

"Stop it, both of you," Lily snapped. "The house elves should fry YOU lot up."

"Sev, can you show me what your potion looks like? I'm not sure I've got this part right..." Lily whispered, leaning over to try and see into his cauldron.

"Lily, you are just as gifted at Potions as I am. Stop second guessing yourself," he chuckled as he crossed out what was a obviously a mistake in the Potion brewing process. "Should be 6 drops of salamander blood...not 3...More potent that way."

"Watch out, Lil. Snivellus might try to brew a Love Potion and use it on you!" taunted James while making obnoxious kissy faces at them.

Severus glared at him and scowled.

Severus walked down the corridor with his Potions book clutched tightly to his chest. He passed by an empty classroom and heard two people arguing, one voice in particular causing his ears to ring.

"Stop, I mean it James. You and your gang are lower than flobberworms the way you treat Sev."

"Don't tell me you have a crush on that grease ball," James snorted.

"That's none of your business." Lily retorted, folding her arms.

"Tell you what, you go on ONE date with me and I'll stop."

Severus' breath caught in his throat and his heart raced as he waited to hear her answer.

"Deal."

Lily walked through the corridor to the courtyard, her fiery red hair in two loose braids that framed her face and brought out the emerald green color of her eyes even more than usual. Severus followed after her, hoping to talk some sense into the Gryffindor before she did what he KNEW would be the worst mistake of her life.

"Lily, don't go," the Slytherin said, reaching out and grabbing her arm.

Lily froze, feeling as if his touch had zapped her. What was this sudden feeling that had taken over?

"Sev, I can handle James Potter," she winked. "It'll be fine."

Severus found himself pacing the Slytherin common room, driving himself mad with thoughts about just what was going on with Lily and Potter's date in Hogsemeade. He was even more furious that his parent's hadn't signed the permission forms to allow him to go.

"Will you stop pacing?" a blonde boy snapped looking up from his reading on the couch.

"Oh, um, sorry...Lucuis."

"It's that Evans girl again, isn't it?"

Severus chewed on the inside of his lip. "Perhaps." But he knew there was no getting by the seventh year. "Yes."

Lucius shut his book and walked over to the boy. "Come with me."

"Did you know, Snivellus Greasy can actually talk to snakes?" James mused, setting their food on the table.

Lily idly drummed her fingers on her butterbeer while she waited for James to come back with their food. Why couldn't her first trip to the Three Broomsticks have be with the toerag of a Gryffindor sitting in front of her?

"His name is Severus Snape," she snapped.

"See! All those S sounds, like a snake, it's a clue in the form of an alliteration!"

Lily was impressed and her expression showed it. "I didn't know you even knew that word." Perhaps she had misjudged him?

Lily eyed Severus over the top of her Potions textbook. She had noticed a change in him since she had been on her date with James. He seemed...darker now and his already dark eyes were vacant of anything resembling spring. The life that was behind them was fading.

Setting her book down, she leaned over the table. "Sev, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"I don't like...those people you hang out with these days. They are a bad influence on you," she warned.

"I don't like Potter," he snarled, his eyes becoming more frightening now. "Not.One.Bit."

Despite her pleas, Severus couldn't separate himself away from Lucius and his gang. They befriended him and accepted him with no questions asked. Made him feel like be belonged to something and showed him ways of achieving magical potential beyond his wildest dreams. Little did he know that this was slowly breaking the very heart of the person he was trying to desperately to impress.

"Sev, I don't need to be a Seer to predict the future. Stop what you are doing now...before it's too late," Lily exclaimed.

If only he had looked into the future then...

If only...

Severus had been watching from the shadows, seeing how Lily and that Potter interacted with one another. He and that Black boy were known to pranks that got them into trouble and always came off looking like a pair of uneducated goblins. He expected her to like someone better, but if it was foolishness she liked...

With the flick of his wand, Severus tied Potter's shoelaces together and watched as he fell forward onto the ground in front of Lily. Take THAT Potter.

"Sev! That was not nice," Lily scolded, helping James up. "I thought you were better than that."

He hated that cocky look Potter got every time he was in front of people. The Gryffindor strutted. Everywhere. Severus was determined to put the boy in his place today. He was hesitant at first when he heard about a Dueling Club, but Lily had convinced him to go. More specific, her mentioning Potter being there had done it.

Glancing at Lily for a moment, he turned his attention forward and shot a spell at his opponent.

James countered and the next thing Severus knew his wand was tranfigured into a licorice wand.

"That's the way the cookie crumbles, Snivellus."

Another year coming to a close, Lily sat at the Gryffindor house table with her glowing red hair tied back in two pigtails to frame her face. After hearing the Headmaster's speech and having her share of beef wellington and pumpkin juice, Lily rose for her seat to look for Severus so he could come join her for dessert.

"There is no room here," James snorted, twirling his fork around some peas on his plate. "For him I mean."

Lily's head snapped around and she rolled her eyes. "Fine. He always makes room for me at the Slytherin table."

Always.

Summer passed like any other summer. Severus sneaked out of his hurtful home whenever he could to see Lily and Lily continued to struggle with her relationship with her sister. At least the two had each other to help each other through it all.

"She wrote the Headmaster," Lily frowned.

"She did?"

"He was very kind in his response, but now she hates me more. I wish she could come and having the Sorting Hat placed on her head too."

Severus furrowed his brow. He had nothing but feelings of disdain for Lily's sister. "It's better this way, trust me."

"I wish you wouldn't spend so much time down there," Lily said as she set her bag on the rack above her head. "Promise me that you will spend less time in the dungeons this term?"

Severus, his nose buried in his Defense Against the Dark Arts book, looked up at her with a confused expression. "Why? It's quiet there and I can get a lot of reading done. That, and HE doesn't show up."

Lily frowned as she took a seat next to him. "For me?"

"That isn't going to change my interests in the Dark Arts," he sighed.

Severus could not wait to enter the dungeons and be away from their transparent professor who taught in the most transparent way. He had been in such a hurry to be the first to claim a potions station that he failed to notice his dragonhide gloves fall out of his bag and onto the corridor's cobbled floor. "Good, no one else here yet," he smirked, claiming a station for himself and one next to him for Lily.

"Sev," came her voice from behind him. "You...dropped these."

"Oh, thanks."

But then she didn't put her things down next to him.

Severus had a wild look about him as he chased Lily down in the crowded corridor after Potions. Why had she ignored him the entire lesson? And why had she chosen to work next to Potter? It had been the first lesson that he had not brewed the best potion out of the class, that result going to some Hufflepuff. When he caught up to her, he grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to turn around. What met him was an icy stare with a sadness behind it.

"Lily?" he asked

She didn't answer and instead turned around and walked away.

Desperation written all over his face, Severus followed Lily through the castle to the moving staircases. He felt like he would be forever chasing her and he hoped that the staircases would be able to read his mood and help his cause. Just as the redhead was about to step onto the next, the staircase changed directions and allowed him to catch up with her.

"Sev, stop, please...you're breaking my heart," Lily pleaded. "There is a reason. Why do you think James has stopped bullying you? Ignore you and so does he."

The Slytherin froze. "I don't want that."

Severus had been thrown into a frenzy after his encounter with Lily and was desperate to come up with a way to win Lily back, make her see that Potter and his arrogant ways were not worthy of her...which is why he was standing in Headmaster Dumbledore's office now.

"Please, sir, it would mean so much to her if her sister could..."

"I am sorry, Mr. Snape. I cannot bestow the gift of magic on one who does not have magical blood. Ms. Evans understands this, you should as well."

Severus bit his lip and looked at the ground.

Lily Evans was finding herself more distracted than usual during class, her pale and delicate fingers idly toying with one of the wooden runes instead of performing a proper Five Rune Spread as they had been instructed to do. With her fourth year coming to a close, the red head thought that her biggest concern would be OWLs, but boys were becoming more and more of an...issue.

Her green eyes flicked first to James, who she hated to admit was growing on her, and then to Severus. Merlin why did they have to be more complicated than Ancient Runes?

Severus had once again been thrown into a frenzy after watching Lily and James sit next to each other in the Great Hall at dinner. Not only that but Potter had put his arm around her shoulders and leaned in and...well, he hadn't seen the rest because he had turned away. It was obvious what had happened.

Locking the bathroom stall he uncovered his cauldron to check the progress of his potion. An almost maniac smile spread across his lips when he saw the mother-of-pearl sheen and spiraling steam. It was perfect. With this...everything would somehow work out.

Severus hands were shaking as he glanced around the classroom. His dark eyes fell on Lily beside him and his hands shook so fiercely this time that he dropped his quill for perhaps the tenth time since the lesson had started....fifteen minutes ago. Today was it. THE day. He had the vial in his robes' pocket and all he needed to do was slip some of it into her drink at lunch and everything would be fine. Everything would work out.

At least that is what he believed.

"Sev, you dropped this," Lily whispered, handing him his quill back.

He hadn't been able to do it at lunch.

Or dinner.

Or at breakfast the next day...or the next...or the next...

Weeks had past and he still could not force himself to part with the vial that plagued his pocket despite the desire to use it on Lily weakening. That is, until he saw her descending the staircase. Everything around him turned black and white despite one thing: Lily and her flaming red hair. Severus felt his heart jerk in his chest and his palms sweat...only to find his heart crushed when she was on Potter's arm.

Things between Lily and Severus had seemed to returned to normal, at least it felt that way to Lily. She still despised the way that James treated her best friend, but as long as the two were in separated things went fine. Or so she thought.

"He says that one day he will be in A History of Magic. Chapters dedicated just to him," Lily laughed, completely unaware of the scowl on Severus' lips.

"Potter will never be anything more than a swine," he grumbled with his hands in his pocket.

"You could be in there too, you know."

"Doubtful."

Pulling his head once more out of the swirling mess of memories, Snape found himself in an internal battle between his heart and his mind. His mind was telling him to stop torturing himself by viewing all the memories. Seeing his mistakes and what he could have, should have done. His heart was telling the opposite. It was telling him that these memories were showing him the good side of Severus Snape.

The side that only Lily Evans had been able to reveal.

Which is why he returned his head to the Pensieve seeking more than just memories, but guidance.

You can do this, Severus Snape.

You have brewed the potion to perfection. Planned everything out. Have the object of your affections within sight and the anger boiling up inside you that threatens to tear you apart should you not do this. Remember the ways Potter tortured you. Humiliated you. Turned your life into a living hell. Then remember the way she brought light into it. The way she continues to do so. Remember how you know she deserves better than him. She deserves what only you can provide her.

Remember all this and go. Now. You can't wait more.