Hi all, I'm Jess. I have been away from SS for a few months, and since I've been back I thought my character needed a bit of a story as to why she was away from Hogwarts. I originally thought of doing a One-Shot but then changed my mind. It will be a 3 part story, before, during and after. So... here it is
Zhenya Burton is my character at Hogwarts. And this is her story of her year and a bit absence from Hogwarts. Zhenya and her life in Russia and at the Burton Cottage are of my creation, the characters Gerald Rush and Raven belong to RandomRaven. I do not own the rights to the Wizarding World and Hogwarts, as they belong to J.K. Rowling

Part One: The Decision to leave

She was alone. Pacing in her room, all alone. The house was quiet, no babies crying, no mother pestering her, no father making jokes, no annoying brother, and no boyfriend. They had all gone. She was alone....

Zhenya Burton was 13, and it was just after Christmas. She had gone back home to Burton Cottage to visit her family, and spend time with the twins who were only young. Their uncle was staying with them, he was occupying the Guest House. Her boyfriend, Gerald Rush, had also made a very surprising visit. He stayed with them over Christmas, which was lovely.

But something wasn’t right.

As the days went on, she began noticing how weird her family, and even Gary, were acting. Like they were hiding something from her. But what?

She soon found out.

Her father, brother, and boyfriend told her to sit down on the couch. Gary had put his arm around her and began stroking her hair. “What?” she asked everyone. 3 pair of eyes glued on her.
“It’s Raven,” her father had said, in a quiet serious tone.
Her heart began to pound. What could they have possibly made her sit down to tell her about Raven?
“We think she is dying, Zhenny,” Dimitri said quietly.
“What? What are you talking about? She’s… she’s getting… she’s going to get better. I know she is,” Zhenya replied to them all. She was trying to hold back tears. Why did they have to tell her this?
“Zhenya we don’t want you living on false hopes. I know a lot about brain cancer and I don’t think there is anything I can do to help. Zhenya if there was a way to cure her, I think her own doctor or healer would have found it already. I’m… I’m afraid I can’t help her,” he said, his voice breaking. Zhenya knew it was hurting him, not being able to help his daughter’s best friend.
Gary sat there quietly, and continued to stroke her hair. But she couldn’t take it. She stood up and removed herself from the situation. She walked out the front door and kept walking until she reached a small playground, and she sat on the swing.
Her best friend dying? She couldn’t believe it. Didn’t want to believe it. How could it be so? She barely lived in a world without her grandparents, but having to live without her best friend as well? She couldn’t do it!

Eventually she made her way back home, and found her family sitting in the lounge room with hot drinks and cakes. It was as if she had intruded a special occasion, except they all looked miserable. She stood by the front door staring at them. Most of them were avoiding looking at her, but Gary and her mother. Gary stood up, walked towards her, and embraced her. She gave him a loose hug in return, wanting nothing more than for everyone to leave and for Raven to come over. But that was not going to happen. She pulled away from Gary and walked up the stairs slowly, entered her bedroom and shut the door.
A soft knock woke her up, and her mother came in with a hovering tray. She mustn’t have been asleep very long. Her mother sat next to her on the bed and the tray slowly came to stop on top of the covers.
“Here,” her mother said in Russian, handing her a mug of tea. “Drink now.”
Zhenya drank the tea, milky, sweet and warm. It was good. Her mother rubbed her back gently, sipping at her own tea. Continuing in Russian, she said “ Zhenya, darling. Life is hard and full of hurdles. It’s unfair that you have to go through this, and Raven too. It would have been wonderful for there to be a cure, for Raven to be healed, but your father doesn’t think there is. Honey, that doesn’t mean she is dead. Who is to say that tomorrow, or in a week, some new breakthrough in muggle medicine will be found and she can be cured? We don’t know what the future holds. All we can do is accept what is, and that be that. We shouldn’t stop living because things that are out of our hands are happening. Darling Zhenya, Raven is still alive and if she were to die, do you think she would be happy that you are caught in her illness? Not living? If she dies, and you are stuck in the tragedy, who will live for her? Darling you need to accept this news and make peace, if something bad is going to happen wouldn’t you rather look back and know that you gave Raven some great memories, rather than her being alone? Write to her, ask her to come for a visit or you can go to her for a visit… send her photos and memories… don’t stop living,” her mother concluded, pulling Zhenya closer and kissing her temple.
Zhenya listened to her mother’s speech, almost wishing she would have saved her breath. But she was right, she had to accept it. But she didn’t want to. Accepting it was admitting it was happening, and she didn’t want to do that. Maybe, if she wouldn’t accept it, it wouldn’t happen.

Her mother sat there for a while, her arm over Zhenya’s shoulders. She enjoyed the rest of her tea, and some cakes her mother had on the tray. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Zhenya said. She was NOT going to sit here and listen to people telling her that her best friend would die, or that she had to accept it. Nothing about what she was hearing made her feel better.
Her mother left the room, and Zhenya slept.


A week later, things had definitely changed. The house was tense. Zhenya averted eye contact with her family. Gary had left a few days ago, returning home to his uncle. Zhenya had said a long goodbye to him, and was looking forward to seeing him again on the train. She spent most of her time alone, and some of it with Archer. He didn’t continuously ask her how she was feeling or quiz her on when she would speak to Raven, or whether she understood the situation. He let her come to the guest house, watch him play his guitar, he would listen to her reading her latest stories and plays, would plan practical jokes for her to play on her brother or kids back at school. All in all, she enjoyed being with him. When she was alone, she wrote. She wrote stories, plays, poems, she wrote about new potions she was trying, most of which were big failures, and cakes, she began baking when her parents and brother were at work, and she wrote them down carefully. She went on a lot of walks, often getting lost. She liked the getting lost part. It meant she could find her way out. She dreaded going back to Hogwarts. She didn’t want to be asked about Raven, but she knew she would be spending most of her time at school worrying and thinking about Raven, heart sinking with every letter she received. She started having panic attacks.

She was pacing... what to do?

After Christmas, she had to return to Hogwarts to finish her third year. But she did not want to. So, she wrote a long letter to her cousin Shura, who lived in his own apartment in Russia. He was 10 years older than she was, and had a job which usually required him to travel a lot. It was sort of like what his father had done, travelling around to look for cursed artefacts. She wrote to him, explaining what had happened, explaining her feelings – her dread and despair, how upset she was and alone she felt. He replied back the next day giving her a way out. ‘Zhenya, I’m sorry to hear about your circumstances. I will be at your bedroom window tomorrow night, 3am. Have your bags packed. You can come and stay with me. Love, Shura.'
Her heart lifted. She was fleeing her problems. It was easy! Why did nobody else do this? She smiled, first time in a week, and went to bed.
The following day she tried to organise things. She spent 5 hours trying to write a letter to Gary, but every time she imagined him reading it, she cried. She couldn’t do that to him, not over a letter. She didn’t know when she would be getting back either. So, she decided it would be best not to tell him. He would figure it out soon, she thought. But the decision not to tell him had burned a big, empty hole in her heart. A hole that filled her with guilt and anger at herself. He didn’t deserve a girlfriend who didn’t even know how to tell him she was leaving. She wrote a very brief letter to her parents, telling them she was leaving and would be back when she was ready. That was all she gave them. She didn’t even care if they worried, or came after her. She was sure, however, that if they really wanted to come after her they would easily be able to find her. After all, they knew how much she loved Russia. She had family there, and they were all very close. She would be easy to find, if they really wanted to find her. She didn’t have much hope of that happening, though.

It was midnight. Her family were all in bed. She quietly packed all of her things, minus the furniture, into her trunks. She sat on the edge of her bed, no linen on it, and waited. She waited an hour, nervously rocking her leg. But eventually it was 3am, and she saw him. Shura. She walked over to the window and lifted it. He came in, handed her a broomstick, and charmed her trunks to hang weightlessly from his broomstick. Then he handed her a spare one, “I heard you were a Chaser. You will be able to use this, then.” Smiling, she picked up the broomstick. Amazing. She had missed playing. Even though she was on the team, she hadn’t played much. Oh, she was on the team. Another thing she was leaving behind. Brushing that thought under the rug, she took one more glance around and walked with him towards the window. She got on the broom, jumped from the window and soared high into the sky.

It took a very long time to get to Russia. But she was enjoying it. It felt like she was cutting through the wind, her long hair flying behind her. She watched the sun rising, and then setting as she passed the different time zones. It was exhilarating. They finally flew over the familiar scenery of Moscow before landing in front of a tall building. “Well, here we are,” Shura said, leading her up the 10 flights of stairs. Panting, legs burning, Zhenya slumped through the door and collapsed on the couch. Shura laughed at her, untangled all the luggage from their hangers, and carried them through to, apparently, a spare bedroom. “Zhenya, why don’t you come and sleep in your bed?”
She heaved herself to her feet and followed his voice to a bedroom that was big enough for her. There was a big bed, fully made, a chest of drawers and a wardrobe, a bookcase, and a bedside table with a box flashing red numbers, and something that looked like a lamp. Although it was a lamp without a candle. “What’s that?” she asked, pointing.
He looked at her bewildered, “It’s… a clock,” he said slowly.
She nodded, thinking what on earth am I going to do with a flashing clock? She picked it up and followed the black rope until she found an odd looking thing in the wall. Oh, she remembered this. It was… something. She didn’t remember its name. She yanked at the clock until the plug flung out from the wall, and Shura rolled his eyes, leaving her alone in the room. Well, how on earth was she going to fall asleep with a light next to her face? Honestly, some people’s way of living dumbfounded her. She found her pyjamas and changed into them, then crawled into bed. It was so comfortable, almost like a cloud swallowing her whole. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, and didn’t wake up for over 13 hours.

seriously, I really felt so guilty to take Raven from Zhenya right now and I can't believe she could get short-minded to runaway from home and stay in Russia? waiting for the next chapter, dear!

Part Two: The Decision to return

Zhenya had been at the Soviet School for Witchcraft and Wizardry for a year, now. It was two months until she was going to finish for the year. She still half resented Shura for enrolling her. It was three weeks after she had moved in with him, and he told her one night that she had one more week until he was going to take her to the school. She was beside herself. She had really thought she had finished with learning. Shura said that he didn’t have time to teach her what she needed to know. Grandpapi may have dedicated the last few years of his life to teach her what she needed to know, but it just wasn’t in him to teach her. He had his own life, he worked in the Ministry as a Detective. He would work behind the scenes to figure out the who, what, where, when, why, of the crimes people committed. Usually he had a good instinct, and his suspects were found guilty and sent to Azkaban or the cells they had in the basement of the Ministry that were guarded in cells under Goblin curses. They had never had a break-out. And with all that going on, where would the time be for him to teach his cousin what she needed to know? He just couldn’t do it, didn’t have the time. So, he enrolled her at school and explained to the headmistress that she was smart and would be able to make up any work that she had missed or hadn’t been taught. One thing their Grandpapi had taught them was how to be independent. Even if Zhenya needed him, and didn’t realise it herself, he knew that she would be able to make up whatever knowledge she needed to on her own.

“What are you doing Zhenny?” Tatiana asked, walking into the common room.
Zhenya looked up from her diary and saw that Tatiana was walking towards her. She closed her diary quickly and shoved it into her bag. “Er, nothing. Just sitting here and thinking about what’s happening back home. You?” she asked.
Tatiana started waffling on about her boyfriend and how they had planned to go to Germany for a week during the holidays. Zhenya smiled and nodded along, knowing that Tatiana just wanted to talk about Erik. Zhenya had learned very quickly that Tatiana was boy crazy. She and Erik had been dating for a few months when Zhenya first started at the school, but that didn’t stop her from looking. Not for herself, of course, but she was determined to set up each of her girlfriends with someone. Zhenya had tried hard to avoid it, she certainly wasn’t looking for anyone else. She was worried about her exams and grades, she was always trying to avoid detention and being told off, she had no time for boyfriends. And besides, she still thought about Gary every day. She was constantly feeling like her heart was breaking because she was always thinking about him, and most of the time she was overcome with guilt for leaving him. She hoped he was able to be happy, and she hoped one day he would be able to forgive her.

Fourth year was tough. Especially in Russia. Russian wasn’t her first language, although there had been a time it was the only language she did speak. But after years of speaking little Russian, she found it hard to suddenly have to read it, write it, listen to it, and speak it every day. But she managed it quite well. The difficult part of doing fourth year in a different school was the Professors. The Russian Professors were very strict and harsh. She didn’t like them at all. The potion professor knew she was the granddaughter of the fantastic Professor Burton and had huge expectations of her. Expectations that she couldn’t come close to fulfilling. So, he often gave her a hard time and picked on her. Behind the scenes, in the common rooms, the students congregated together and supported each other. They were her support team and they helped fill her in on all of the professors and things she needed to know. For example, the Dark Arts professor didn’t like people smiling. He thought they were making fun of him, because that subject was serious. Their arts professor disliked it when people complemented other peoples work, like it was a rule that nobody was allowed to feel good about their work. The herbology professor was perhaps the only nice one, but he was very strict. Her friends said that he locked the door one minute before lesson started, because he expected people to be there on time. And he didn’t unlock the door until one minute after their lesson. During class when a student was being told off or disciplined unfairly the other students kept their heads down. They had to. But back in the common rooms, they spoke about it. The heads of houses often held debriefs, and everyone spoke about the small tiny mistakes they had made which led to huge consequences. Despite the evil professors, and how much she dreaded going to lessons, she did quite well. She managed to get above average, but nowhere near top of the class.

Zhenya was sitting outside in the snow. She was so cold, but she had managed to light a small fire in front of her. It was good enough, keeping her on the warmer side of frozen. She was writing in her diary, reflecting on the year and what she was thinking. She missed her family, but whenever she thought about them she was angry. And the feelings of anger, and remembering why she was angry at them, upset her because it made her think of Raven. She thought about what Raven was going through, whether she was doing okay, if she was cured. She had hope, and until she was at Raven’s funeral she would keep that hope, knowing that it was possible for her to still be well.
“Hey Zhen,” Tatiana chimed, slipping over right next to her and giggling about it.
Zhenya giggled with her. Tatiana adjusted herself and she sat down next to Zhenya on the snow. “Oh it’s freezing out here. My skirt is soaked! Why are you even out here?”
Zhenya shrugged, “I like the cold. It reminds me of childhood.” She looked over at her friend and offered a small smile. “I’m just thinking about things back home.”
Tatiana nodded, knowing about what had happened at home causing her to leave. “Have you heard anything? From him, I mean.”
Zhenya shook her head. “Nothing since the break up letter. I just wonder what he’s doing… how he’s going. I wonder if he has been in contact with my family at all, or how my parents are.”
“Why… why don’t you just go home?”
It took Zhenya a few moments to think about how to respond. “I’ve been thinking about it. But I went through the wars trying to get through the third year exams just so I could break my neck in the entire fourth year subjects. It just feels like I’d be giving up everything I aimed for and accomplished.” It was true, she had worked so so hard to get to where she was, up to date with everything that was being taught at the school, and then advancing to understand everything else that was being taught. It was like Hogwarts, only 100% harder.
“Zhen, don’t even worry about that. If your heart is telling you to go home, and if you feel like this year has been enough time to clear your mind about everything that had happened, then just go home. You will be happier without the awful snooty professors we have here.”

Zhenya continued to think about that for the remaining two months. Exams came and went, and she was soon on break. Shura picked her up from the train station and took her back to the apartment. That night he made her dinner and dessert and asked how the term had been. She told him that the professors were still just as evil, and the work was just as hard. The people were still really supportive and friendly. He smiled, thinking that the move had been a great idea for her, because she fit in with all her school friends. But he also noticed she wasn’t happy.
“What’s going on?” he asked gently.
She looked up at him and saw in his eyes what he meant. “I want to go back home,” she confessed, trying not to cry. Confessing this to him made her feel awful. He helped her escape and he pushed her to excel at school, and how was she paying him back? By running back home.
He nodded and smiled, “What made you change your mind?”
She shrugged, “Well I’m constantly thinking about Gary. And mum and dad, and Dimitri and the twins, and every time I think about them I just… feel like it’s not right. I don’t even know what I feel, I can’t make sense of it.”
“Do you think maybe you ran away from your problems and after having time to process what’s happened you realise that the problem is still there, unresolved?”
She thought about that for a moment. Processed it. Yes, that was exactly what she thought. “I didn’t realise that’s what I thought. I suppose I did run away. I keep thinking about Gary and how I just left him and now I don’t know what he is thinking or what he’s doing. And mum and dad, I don’t know if they’re worried or happy, and I haven’t spoken to them in over a year. And I feel panic when I think about how I left things and I feel like I’m carrying the weight of everything that happened.”
Shura thought as much. “I’ll talk to Sophia, she’s got an apartment in Hogsmeade. Maybe she will have room for you to stay,” he said and stood up to send an owl.
Sophia was Shura’s sister who had moved from Russia a few years ago. She was a journalist for the Daily Prophet. Zhenya had heard that she lived in Hogsmeade, but she had never visited her. She had never seen her family on her mother’s side since the funeral.

“Hey Zhenya! Oh wow, you’re so big now, look at you, you’re gorgeous! Look at those lovely locks of yours, just like your mother’s. Oh Shura told me everything that happened, I’m so sorry darling, it’s just so awful fighting with people. But it’s okay you can definitely come and live with me, it’s okay I own it so you don’t even have to worry about paying rent! And look, you’re right on top of the train lines so you’ll be able to get to Hogwarts for your fifth year in no time and you don’t even have to find a way in!” Sophia said in one long breath.
Zhenya’s eyes widened and she looked at Shura, who winked at her. She could tell he was trying not to laugh. She didn’t realise anyone could talk so fast and say so much in such a short time. But there she was, long, thin, blonde and beautiful. She sounded a bit ditsy to say the least but she did seem really friendly and happy to have Zhenya stay with her.

So, there Zhenya was. She moved into the large penthouse apartment in a gorgeous bedroom, all to herself. It was like living in a hotel, and many times it crossed her mind that her cousin must have won the lottery or something. This was living at its finest. She spent the summer weaving herself between the rooms, discovering new things, contemplating dropping out of school all together and just hanging around this apartment all day. She shopped in Hogsmeade with the money Sophia gave her, but it didn’t make her feel good. She still felt panic whenever she thought about the life she ran away from. She couldn’t find peace, even though she thought she would. She spent an entire day in Diagon Alley getting all her school supplies. It was only a week before she went back and the butterflies started. Just a few at first, in her stomach, but then it was like they had reproduced so much that there was no room in her body for anything but these butterflies. By the time Sunday night came she couldn’t sleep. She was so uneasy about everything. She couldn’t eat, or drink, because there was no room for it to go. She couldn’t read, or rest, or shop because there was no room in her brain to concentrate on anything. She kept seeing Gary yelling at her, or her parents looking past her like they didn’t even know her. And Raven’s cold white face at her own funeral. It was driving Zhenya insane, until finally Monday got there and Sophia walked her to the train station.

Last Updated: 14/03/2013