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Ooh this is really good! It is incredibly well written, and I'm practically on the edge of my seAt wondering what will happen next. I, too, assumed the same as ^^ but I suppose we will have to wait and see. Great job! :) |
Hi Evie! Wow! Just wow! I absolutely adore the imagery you use to describe the beautiful setting you have created in your mind. These descriptive words are like a breath of fresh air and it blows me away. Anyway, I'm going to make two guessed on who the girl may be. I know you're not going to confirm whether I'm right ot not just yet. I'll give it a shot anyway. Is is young Lily and possibly young Snape? Or she may be a squib? Not sure why. Just a random guess. I can't wait to read more! PAMS!!! |
The person Voldemort has is NOT the same person in the last chapter. Sorry SPOILER!!: Comments http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop A month went by since Snape's outburst with no real excitement. The students had yet to return to Hogwarts after their holidays. Though he doubted many would - he wouldn't have and didn't blame those that didn't - and those that decided to would be under the wrath of the Carrows, more than him that was true. He'd be strict and he'd advise the other professor's to do that same, this was after all a school and given the current situation, but it fell to the Carrows to force discipline. God knows whose idea this was and at the thought of an earlier memory filtered through his mind. ...His black hair covered one side of his face more than the other but he didn't care. He was far too busy keeping his thoughts running wild as he listened to the shocking news given to him. The man standing before him was tall and lanky, hardly a Death Eater material. His pitch black robes held loosely to his thin body, his arms were stretched out before him holding a fresh looking parchment. "...and until which time the Dark Lord decides different the Carrows will remain here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..." The man's lazy tone cut through his thoughts as he finished speaking. Once finished, the man closed the parchment and dropped his hands to his side. Snape let the words sink in while he pondered on what to say. His mind was blank, no thoughts flashed around. Only one sentence appeared before his eyes; 'They cannot come here...', over and over again. Finally brushing a stray hair from his face he spoke, "Very well, is there anything else from the Dark Lord?" It felt like a lifetime since the time the man stopped speaking till the time Snape began to, but in actual fact only mere minutes. "Yes.." A high pitched voice said from the shadows, "I will take over Muggle Studies as Professor as our dear friend had vanished..." The voice continued as the speaker stepped out of the shadows. Alecto Carrow sneered at the headmaster, her small structure taking up no room beside her companion. "And I will teach the Dark Arts, it seems you have no Professor to take that role," another voice, Alecto's brother, stepped from the same shadows and up beside her. Snape glared at the trio with hatred as well as shock. He hadn't been expecting this when he was given the role of headmaster. This made him think that maybe the Dark Lord didn't trust him, but no he had done all that had been asked of him. They were waiting for him to speak but he said nothing, his hand curled up on his lap. He tried to control his anger. He still said nothing. "...The Dark Lord also stated that the Carrows will deal with discipline and you should advise the professors to hand over troublesome students..." The first man spoke slowly, unease in his voice. Snape opened his mouth, "Very well..." A crash behind him pulled him from his thoughts. The clash of metal against stone rang though his ears with pain. Snape whirled around. |
Interesting chappie, Eviee! :yes: Different people teaching different subjects now! :eyebrows: I like it very much! <3 ♥Stef♥ |
I like it to, a lot! I really want to find out about the Hilltop girl but I'll stop asking... PAMS! |
Yay I'm finally caught up! For some reason when I was reading, that girl on the hilltop reminded me of Lily.. but that wouldn't make sense. I don't think... But it was a very nice chapter! And as for the latest chapter, I love it! The way you write Snape is amazing.. it makes me love him even more. And whats happeneing?! *waits for your next post* PAMS! :glomp: |
Oh interesting. A bit confusing but interesting. Great writing Evvie. I can't wait to find out who this girl is ***Sarah |
Evvie :glomp: sorry I've been a few chapters behind, but now I"m all caught up and I LOVE IT!!!!! |
Hey Eviee, they say there's nothing like suspense to keep a reader coming back. So you should have it made with readers, cause who could read this and not come back. WOW, very suspenseful and well written. This bit has me so curious! Quote:
Great chapter Eviee. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp: |
The last person I'm bringing into the story. I now can move forward! SPOILER!!: Comments http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop The fire raged, crackling as it moved around. The fire wood didn't have a chance, Narcissa stared onwards. A glass of wine held in her hand. Her long stunning black dress with its floor length skirt and white flower pattern all around the top of it hugged her waist. She was alone. Behind her, music blared through the thick walls hitting her eardrums like a quiet drum. She had no reason to attend the party that was ongoing, he was worried about her son. While she was playing hostess, her son was planning a murder. Lifting her gloved hand - also black - she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye just as the oak door behind her opened. She didn't turn around. "Narcissa, come to the party," her sister Bella yelled dancing across the room. She'd obviously had something to drink because her words slightly slurred. Narcissa turned then to face her sister. "I'll be back in a minute." But her sister didn't take that as an answer, before the first women could do anything Bella's hand wound its way round her wrist in a tight grip for someone not in their right mind. Bella dragged her sister from the room. The party was in full swing but to most observers you would call it a death party with everyone wearing black although Narcissa could see some people in color. She always found these parties boring but because she lived there she had to play the happy wife. The host's wife. She just wished the party was over so she could go back to her thoughts but alas that was not suppose to happen. Narcissa grabbed a new drink from a table as she past and proceeded to join her husband. She was glad Bella had left her alone when they had entered the room. Her husband looked older than he actually was, the fact he hadn't been getting any sleep and the stress of everything didn't help. His long blond hair fell against his shoulders where he ignored it as he spoke to a friend and fellow Death Eater. She came up beside him. "There you are," Lucius Malfoy said turning to his wife, "Where have you been?" He sounded more annoyed than anything else. "Sorry I was taking a moment away from the party," her reply was, she looked into her husband's face to try and send a telepathic message. He knew how much she was worrying about Draco. He didn't seem to be paying attention, instead he was looking over her shoulder at something. She turned also. The various people that were attending the party were breaking away from each other and in to two separate groups. Walking through the middle was a small man with rat-like features. He twitched a little as he walked, as he continued to walk towards Lucius and Narcissa. Bella came to join them. "Wormtail," Bella said first taking control of the situation. Narcissa watched as her husband glared at her behind her back. "I…I have a message from the Dark Lord." He looked at the ground as he spoke in respect and fear. Nobody spoke. "He wants to..to hold a meeting here tomorrow. Everyone's to attend." Poor choice of words. Lucius paled at the information but Bella started firing questions at the twitching man. "You lie, I was not told about this. Where's your proof?," She paused, "Why did the Dark Lord not tell us himself?" Her eyes bored into Wormtails, "Leave us," she commanded turning away. Wormtail didn't wait around, he quickly left and was followed by all the guests. Soon only those that remain were Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix. "This is my home, you have no right to walk in here and act like your more than a guest," Lucius thundered stepping forward. 'Cissa had been quick to pick up on the fact her husband hadn't said our home. She said nothing instead she took a step back. She never liked to get into their fights. "You have no right to tell me what to do. You are finished, the Dark Lord does not need you." Bella stepped forward also so they were practically nose to nose. 'Cissa stepped back out of the way. "That still gives you no right..." Bella cut him off, "YOU ARE FINISHED, You are not needed. The only reason you are still alive is because Draco has something to finish even then we do not need you. And we both know he is going to fail and then you will be finished for good." Bella glared at him, Narcissa stifled a gasp. Lucius had nothing to say. Bella was right the Dark Lord didn't need him or his family and they could be killed in an instant. "You have nothing to say," Bellatrix taunted, "You know I'm right," she added smirking before turning on her heels and walking from the room laughing as she went. Narcissa and her husband watched her go. "Lucius..." Narcissa whispered stepping forward taking his hand in hers. He turned and glared taking his hand away. "Go to bed Narcissa," her husband said not unkindly. He seemed both worried and scared. "I wanted to talk to you," she paused, "You cannot let Draco do this..." "We cannot defy the Dark Lord, Draco will do this and bring our family back to power," he interrupted. "He cannot do this we know it, the Dark Lord knows it too!" He voice began to raise. "Silence!" Lucius cried silencing his wife, "We need to be prepared for the Dark Lord. Where is that damn houseelf?" He added before storming from the room. Narcissa watched him go, anger welling up inside her. How could her husband be incompetent to helping her save their son. She stood there for a moment more debating how she should persuade the Dark Lord to give Draco's job to someone else. Finally she left. |
EEP! YAY another post! I love it! I like having different point of views during a story...I can't wait for more! |
Loved the chapters I just catched up on :D Very awesome! :x3: |
Hey! Great job! It's very good and gives a good look into Narcissa. :) I've always wondered about Narcissa and have always felt sorry for her. She was always my favorite Malfoy (aside from Draco ;) ), especially in the movies. Your post makes me wonder (as have the books) if Lucius and her actually loved each other or just the arrangement of 2 good pureblood families. Very, very good job!! :D -Rachel |
Hey Eviee, I'll start off with saying I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Maybe you heard that lately, but I had to think about it when I said it before. Your writing offers a unique style that causes an atmosphere of like, you're really there but in a separate reality where nobody can see or hear you, but you are right there seeing and hearing it all, as you read it. I can only imagine what Narcissus must be feeling as her son is ordered to kill Dumbledore, and worse yet to know that he isn't expected to pull it off. Draco's first order though was to find a way for the Death Eaters to get into Hogwarts. Do you think Narcissus knew about that order? I don't think so, because he snuck away from her when he went to Knockturn Alley. And I think because he was able to do that, (find a way in) Voldemort forgave his inability to kill Dumbledore, and allowed him to live although he was displeased he wasn't the one to kill him. I think if he had failed that he wouldn't have had to worry about killing Dumbledore because Voldemort would kill him (Draco). Quote:
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Great work Eviee, love your story, keep up the great work. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp: |
Oohh yay!! brilliant chapter sweetie. Oh how I loathe Bellatrix! you write her so well *glares at her* PAMS! |
Eviee :glomp: great chapter. I love how you write Narcissa. It maakes her seem more friendly and motherly which I really think she is deep down. This FF is so exciting. I will be waiting for more :) Sarah |
Ooo Cool new chapter |
i like this! i'm honestly not a huge fan of the malfoy's and that whole lot, but this was entertaining. and poor 'Cissa...she's always been kinda good at heart. maybe that's why i was so mad at lucius...grrrrr |
Eviee! :glomp: :loved: I was totally stalking you and I discovered this. I'm not really into reading fan-fictions. Just starting now. And it was awesome! I should do this more often. :P I love the story. I am so interested about the girl at the hill. Snape's lovelife. :D Getting a little excited at the thought. Expect me to be here most of the time. :lol: -Vine :D |
Awesome chappie Eviee! <3 Sorry I haven't read in a while! :blush: |
Evvie, I'm always so late in my replies!! but I love it as usual!!!! |
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop "Yes?" Snape asked irritated. The house elf finally looked up. "Sorry Sir...sir," Dobby stammered bowing, Snape waited, '"This came for you, I...i was asked to deliver," Dobby concluded shaking. Snape said nothing but stared at the piece of folded parchment in the elf's dirty hand, He snatched it away from him. "Leave me," Snape snapped striding away. Not far from where they stood light bloomed into the hall from a large window. Reds and purples danced around from the colours of the window like that of a church window. Snape , parchment in one hand and wand in the other, stopped short of the window which gave the hall the only light and he broke the seal and read what was on it. Quote:
Nothing else sat on the paper that gleamed up at him, He turned it over to look for a signature. None jumped out at him. Turning it over once more he wondered who had written it, it was no writing he'd seen before. Snape stared at it for a moment more before leaving, unaware at the audience he had gained. -------------- "Did you give it to him?" The aging woman asked the house elf as he trotted towards her. She'd been waiting for a while to do something about the current headmaster. Call her the 'spy' even though at her age that was completely childish and if she'd caught a student doing it then she'd most probably scold them but she was doing this for the children. "Yes ma'am," Dobby said bowing towards her before evaporating away. Once he had gone, the Hogwarts teacher turned back to staring around the bulky statue to watch the current headmaster. She could feel the memory of the past few weeks fill her mind once more when she had 'talked' to the headmaster himself the first time and vowed to look out for the students any way she could. At that meeting, her and a few trusted Hogwarts Professors had known that it was only the beginning. The memory spoke for itself; McGonagall burst through the door to the Professors lounge, the one place they could talk with each other regarding their school subjects and the like. That was once upon a time, now, however, they had to be careful about what they talked about for fear of it coming back to haunt them. Today the aging women didn't care, stopping to breath she looked left and right for the right person who happened to be reading a book in the corner. "Poppy," She said rushing over, ignoring the few glances from the other staff. The Hospital Matron looked up in question, "I need to talk to you urgently." Was all she said before turning, McGonagall caught the eyes of a few more Professors to signal them to follow her before she left the room, followed by about six others. Leading them to her office she thought about what she was going to say, how to put it to sound realistic and convincing. Her office wasn't that far away so in a few minutes they were all crowded around the walls of her office. "What is it Minerva?" Slughorn asked watching her, a few others nodded her head. "I asked you all here because I feel you can all be trusted to help me in my plans?" My plans? So childish she thought but she'd said it. Everyone was watching her with interest now. With a pause she told them all about her 'talk' with the headmaster. A few bursts of shock, horror and outrage. "How could he even think of letting them take charge of punishment!?" Flitwick squeaked. She shook her head for silence, "Look, I don't like it as much as the rest of you that's why I've called you all here. There is no way to stop this madness but we can try and help those students who do fall under the Carrow's rule." She paused to look at all their faces; Horence Slughorn, Poppy Promfrey, Filius Flitwick, Rolanda Hooch, Pomana Sproat,Sybill Trelawney. "Look, you've all heard of the Order of the Pheonix and Dumbledore's Army that a group of loyal students here at Hogwarts created, this is nothing like those. All I'm asking is that you help me look after the students here at Hogwarts. They deserve better than what they are given." She stopped and looked around. Nobody spoke for a moment and the Professor was worried she was sounding stupid but after a moment her best friend spoke up. "I'm in, I'd much rather I didn't see so many students in my Hospital Wing everyday," Pomfrey said smiling a little. Soon everyone else agreed. "Good, now we just keep a look out and help the students anyway we can," McGonagall said before nodding and sitting down. They all filed out like she'd given them detention for a week. She was exhausted, laying her head in her hands she closed her eyes. She found herself back in the shadows, by the statue watching as the Headmaster opened up his message and gave it a scan. As she continued to watch he flipped it over and over looking for something. Again she found herself going back in time, this time to a few minutes before she came to be in the shadows. She was doing her usual patrol of the castle in her free period in case she found any rule breakers and students who were suppose to be in class. So far only five had had points taken from her in the last hour. She didn't want to give them detention because she knew what that meant, giving them over to the Carrow's and she didn't want to do that. Just as she was about to give up her patrol and head towards her classroom for her next class she watched as an owl soared through the open great doors and landed on the stair banister. Watching it with beady eyes she slowly approached it to see who it could possibly have a letter for at this time. Calming the animal she slipped the message from its legs and watched it soar off into the horizon, once it had gone and she could no longer see it in the distance, she turned her gaze to the message. "Professor Snape." It read, McGonagall stared at it a moment longer before coming up with a plan, "Dobby," She called into the silence air, she didn't have to wait long before a loud pop sounded in front of her and the most trusted house elf stood bowing to her in the middle of the entrance hall. Casting a look around she said in a hush voice, "I want you to deliver this while I follow," She told him handing over the clean message. Dobby took it gingerly and read the name on the front. Gulp. "Yes Ma'am." And he was off, the professor following him somehow. McGonagall stood in the shadows of a near statue watching the retreating figure of the headmaster, a frown on her face. She had no idea what had caused him to look flustered of what was on that note but heaven forbid was she going to let this one slide. She was going to read that note By now, the corridor was deserted and the Professor moved from her spot, still in thought and walked in the opposite direction. Plans already forming in her mind. |
Oooooohhhhh, I can't wait to see what happens! Looks exciting, and I sure hope McGonagall doesn't get hurt. Great job! -Rachel |
This chapter confuses me some what!!! I'm hoping the next clears it all up!!! I want to know what Minerva is planning :) :) :D :D |
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