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Ladybug 07-18-2011 09:40 PM

A Broken Wing - Sa13+
 
Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


His feet hit the wet pavement with a splash, the dirty water from the puddle covered his shoes like a wave but he paid no attention to it. He carried on marching through the dark streets, the few remaining street lights that were not broken in anyway flickered constantly. The man crossed the road and into an alley, the darkness sucked him in like a cloak. Any passerby's who watched on would have noticed nothing.

The man walked on down the alley for a few steps then stopped, he didn't move just looked on. It was such a narrow alley that if he wanted he could've touched the walls of the houses, forming the alley, with his both hands if extended. He didn't wait long when he heard footsteps striding towards him

"Narcissa," He whispered.

She stepped out of the darkness from his left and into his line of sight.

"Why did you call me here?" The man continued after a moment's paused. He watched the women like a hawk.

"You have to help me," She replied instantly taking a step towards him, "You promised to look after my son."

"And I am," The man interrupted.

"...now the Dark Lord has risen and taken control of Hogwarts he's in more danger. The Carrows...too much is expected of him," She finished breathless. The man couldn't see her facial expressions clearly but he didn't need to. He had an idea of the look she would show, the look that told all, who cared to pay attention, she would do anything for her son. He didn't speak for a while, he let the silence fall over them both. The wind picked up around them, it rustled his robes around his feet and the hair that fell on Narcissa's shoulders. They paid no attention to it.

He nodded after a while in understanding and agreement and felt, as well as heard, the sigh of relief and gratitude from his companion. She touched his hand slightly as she said,

"Thank you".

-----------------------

AN: Declaimer; All characters and places in this story do not in anyway belong to me, they all belong to the wonderful J.K Rowling.. Hello and welcome to what i believe is my fifth FF here on SS. Now there are a few things i'd like to say before we carry on with this story. Firstly I'm Evangeline but most people call me Eviee. Now as to the nature of this story i will tell you nothing on the main character except for the fact it's set during the last book. You'll find out the main character in chapter Two sorry to say. As I said this is my fifth story here on SS, other stories i have written are as follows;
SPOILER!!: Stories
1. The Way The Wind Blows (Joint story with Lily)
2.The Last Kiss (One Shot)
3. Love is but a Feeling
4. The New Nightmare (The first ever FF i wrote on here)

{ C h a p t e r I n d e x }

Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen Part One.
Chapter Thirteen Part Two
Chapter Thirteen Part Three.
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen

Droo 07-19-2011 01:09 PM

Welcome to Epic and Adventure, be sure you read the rules, post often and have fun!

Magical Soul 07-19-2011 01:54 PM

:woot:
It's great!! I love it :loved: And I do like the way you let us feel the character's emotions.. which's elaborated in your other fanfics ^_^

Waiting for the next chapters.. :whistle:

nogoodforyou 07-19-2011 02:01 PM

EEEEP I'm definitely going to stalk this! :loved:

And I love the characters. :shifty:

Ladybug 07-21-2011 09:34 AM

SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by Droo (Post 10475345)
Welcome to Epic and Adventure, be sure you read the rules, post often and have fun!

Thank you :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magical Soul (Post 10475425)
:woot:
It's great!! I love it :loved: And I do like the way you let us feel the character's emotions.. which's elaborated in your other fanfics ^_^

Waiting for the next chapters.. :whistle:

Haii Laila, Thank you!!! :loved: And again thanks, i dunno i just tend to write what comes to my head and i wrote this in like ten minutes :hmm: and yesh my other lovely FF's

You wont have to wait for long :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by nogoodforyou (Post 10475433)
EEEEP I'm definitely going to stalk this! :loved:

And I love the characters. :shifty:

Haii, i don't think i know your name sorry!
Thanks for stalking, means a lot!
And thank you. :glomp:


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


His hand trembled as he held the picture in his hands, the moving picture of the laughing women looked up at him. She was laughing at something that was happening outside the photo itself anyone else, glancing at this for the first time, would wonder but not ask why she was so happy at a time like that but he knew. He always knew that she was for someone else and not him, he wished with all his heart that it was him she was suppose to spend the rest of her life with. He would have looked after her better then her husband had, she would be alive today if it wasn't for him.

It was the man who had ripped the photo in half, discarding the part he didn't like much and kept the half which housed the only women he ever loved.

As he continued to look at the picture, overwhelming images flooded into his head. He fought them back with difficulties but after a sigh of defeat, he let them go...

...the time he hid in the bush for like the 100th time, two girls sat playing on some swings. One muggle and one witch - It was the witch he only cared about - one swinging higher than the other. Daring gravity...

...He stood with his stone faced parents beside the Hogwarts express, their first year. His parents said nothing to either him or themselves, they hated him. She stood beside loving parents and a sister, excitement filled her face. He longed to be with her, be part of her family...

A thundering knock on his office door brought him back from his thoughts and the longing he still felt. The aging man jumped and dropped the photo he had been holding.

"Enter" The headmaster said lazily turning the photo over and leaning back in his large red chair.

He watched as the door opened before him.

Mordanyes 07-21-2011 09:47 AM

I is stalking your story :yes: It's brilliant so far! I love how you write :loved:

ashfig 07-22-2011 02:47 PM

yay! can't wait for more! don't just leave us hanging... :P

Connie 07-22-2011 11:21 PM

Hey Eviee. Thanks for telling me about this. It is very good, and I can't wait to read more. My heart breaks every time I read the part of Narcissa pleading with Snape in the sixth book. Also Snape's memories are so darling that it is hard to imagine the life of solitude because of the loyalties he had for Lily even after she married. I look forward to reading more, and I'm anxious to find out who is at the door knocking so harshly. I'll be watching for your next.:glomp:

Ladybug 07-22-2011 11:33 PM

Okay guys this will be my last chapter update for a while. I'm sorry! I'm going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks *hides* But i spend all day Friday writing chapters Currently just finished chapter Seven. I also promise they will be getting longer...
SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10479359)
I is stalking your story :yes: It's brilliant so far! I love how you write :loved:

Haii Welcome and thanks for the stalk :glomp:

Thank you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10482045)
yay! can't wait for more! don't just leave us hanging... :P

Haii there! Haha i wouldn't dare leave you hanging...or will i? ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10483329)
Hey Eviee. Thanks for telling me about this. It is very good, and I can't wait to read more. My heart breaks every time I read the part of Narcissa pleading with Snape in the sixth book. Also Snape's memories are so darling that it is hard to imagine the life of solitude because of the loyalties he had for Lily even after she married. I look forward to reading more, and I'm anxious to find out who is at the door knocking so harshly. I'll be watching for your next.:glomp:

Connie thank you for taking the time to read these chapters. I always look forward to your comments *nods*
As for who's at the door your about to find out *points*


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


"Snape," Amycus Carrow said as he entered the headmaster's office. His sister entered soon after and closed the big old door with a click. She stepped up beside her brother and glared down her nose at Severus Snape.

Straightening his back, Snape placed his hands on the large ebony desk and watched his two visitors, extremely irritated with the fact that he had to house two Death Eaters. He could have dealt with anyone else but these two idiots breathing down his neck about how to run the school was unbearable.

"Yes?" He asked as he moved his greasy black hair from his face.

"What is THAT doing on the wall!?" Alecto suddenly cried while glaring daggers at the large portrait on the wall behind him.

"The filth shouldn't be allowed in this office," Amycus added.

Rage welled up in him to the point he began to lift myself from his seat to teach them not to insult his close friend and the only one who understood him, his pain and troubles. A voice, however, behind him stopped him.

"Don't,"

It was so quiet that even he had trouble hearing it, he whipped his head around to find the source of the noise but was only faced with the portrait of Dumbledore. His eyes were closed as if he was asleep but he knew better. Turning back to his visitors he sat back down hoping the other two hadn't noticed his movements. Thankfully, it seemed they hadn't. Sighing, Snape piped up.

"What do you want?"

"To remind you of the instructions from the Dark Lord. Perhaps he didn't think you're worthy enough to fill you in," Alecto taunted smirking.

"I am aware of the plans," He shot at them clearly annoyed.

"Well then you know what must be done..."

"Leave me," I wish to be alone, Snape finished in his head. He didn't want to think of the Dark Lord's plans...

He didn't know the two Death Eaters had left until he looked up moments later to find them out of his sight. He was the only one in the room again.

TheatreActress 07-23-2011 12:11 AM

This is fantastic! I love it, it's so well written.

-clings- I wanna read more!

Have fun on holiday. :)

Connie 07-23-2011 12:13 AM

Hey Eviee.
Quote:

Amycus Carrow said as he entered the headmaster's office.
I had a feeling it would be these two "idiots". :xd:
Quote:

A voice, however, behind him stopped him.

"Don't,"
Don't you just love Dumbledore?:P
Quote:

Okay guys this will be my last chapter update for a while. I'm sorry! I'm going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks
That's great Eviee! You never have to apologise for having a real life. :P Have a great time. We'll be waiting for you to get back.:glomp:

ashfig 07-23-2011 12:32 AM

yay! I <3 DUmbledore! :D

Mordanyes 07-23-2011 01:24 AM

Awesome chapter! :D

Hera 07-23-2011 09:35 AM

GAHHH brilliant! I just lllooovvveee Snape! Can't wait to read more!

PAMS!

AlwaysDance 07-23-2011 02:06 PM

Beautiful story Eviee. I am so exxited to read more, buut have no worries about vacation. Have an amazing time on your vacation.

°°Sarah

bonnieginnyfan1 07-24-2011 01:51 AM

Amazing story Eviee! :loved:

Your just a brilliant writer! Can't wait for more of the FF! <3

♥Stef♥

Ladybug 08-07-2011 07:15 PM

I'm back!
 
SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheatreActress (Post 10483472)
This is fantastic! I love it, it's so well written.

-clings- I wanna read more!

Have fun on holiday. :)

Haii thanks for reading! :glomp:
Thank you, i kinda just write what comes to mind. Glad you like it!

*huggles*

Thanks again, i had a fun time :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10483479)
Hey Eviee. I had a feeling it would be these two "idiots". :xd:
Don't you just love Dumbledore?:P
That's great Eviee! You never have to apologise for having a real life. :P Have a great time. We'll be waiting for you to get back.:glomp:

Haii Connie :loved:
Haha did you? XD Well i do try ;) but i kinda wondered why they never had speaking parts in the movie...

Yes, Yes i do *nods* hahaha

Thank You Connie! And i know *hides* I just say Sorry and Hello far too much :P I'm back now though and ahem new chapter? Yes i think i shall....:glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10483503)
yay! I <3 DUmbledore! :D

Dumbledore :loved: you back! :lol:
Thanks for reading!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10483579)
Awesome chapter! :D

Thank you, I have many more chapters to come *nods*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10484105)
GAHHH brilliant! I just lllooovvveee Snape! Can't wait to read more!

PAMS!

Ahem Emily.....*eyes*

I'm glad you could stop by and read my somewhat short story that is growing by the minute XD haha I still need to read your story....give me like a day and i'll have read it! *nods*

I'm glad you liked the chapter and i have more coming up now!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahb (Post 10484385)
Beautiful story Eviee. I am so exxited to read more, buut have no worries about vacation. Have an amazing time on your vacation.

°°Sarah

Thank You Sarah for both stopping to read and commenting, it means a lot to me! Ah i'm so sorry to keep you all waiting for a new chapter....i had the first six written before i went on holiday so i'm reading for the next few days! haha.

Thank you again, it's good to be back

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10485631)
Amazing story Eviee! :loved:

Your just a brilliant writer! Can't wait for more of the FF! <3

♥Stef♥

STEF! :loved: Luff you hun, THANK YOU for stopping by....and your most welcome ;)

:loved:

Aww thank you, i bet your better then me! *nods* More is coming up now!

:loved:


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


Frustrated Snape pulled himself from his seat and moved to the center of the room. From there he began to pace frantically, thoughts and feelings running through his mind like a roller coaster.

"Severus calm yourself," A soft voice called out to the room.

"Calm!?" Snape replied turning on the large portrait of the last and most famous headmaster/ Albus Dumbledore. "How can I be calm when I have to deal with those two..." He pointed wildly at the recently closed door, "All year! How am I to do as you as with them snooping around?!" His loud voice caused many of the other portraits to open their recently closed eyes to watchthe most recent episode...

"It must be done Severus," Dumbledore paused in while Snape began to pace once more, "...for Lily's son, Severus. Remember your promise".

Snape paused in his pacing to turn and stare at the headmaster. He dareed?... Snape thought as his small eyes grew smaller in a glare but he had nothing to say- he couldn't go back on his word. He wouldn't. He'd promised for Lily. Dear sweet Lily whom he'd always loved. Snape moved without a word, turning on his heel and storming out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

The portraits that he left behind muttered and whispered their views, of nothingness. Dumbledore silenced them with his soothing tone.

Within a few steps Snape found himself at the bottom of the stones steps leading to his office, bursting out into the empty hallway, he thought himself alone but then he heard footsteps striding towards him.

"Headmaster," The owner of the voice had an edge to her voice at the title

"Not now I'm busy," He shot back continuing to rush away.

"Headmaster I insist we talk," Professor McGonagall stepped forward to block his path.

Scowling, he stopped.

"What is this I'm hearing, you letting Death Eaters into the school. To Teach! I will have none of it!" Snape glared down at the older women and began thinking of ways to get rid of her. Fast.

"First dropping the magic boundaries protecting the school and letting Dementors to roam around..." She continued, her eyes glaring daggers.

Snap stopped her before she could carry on, "Enough! I am headmaster of this school and what changes I enforce will be up to me and no one else," He stepped around the old women and walked away, "And any students in detention will be handed over to the Carrows for Punishment. Tell the staff," The headmaster added throwing one last glance over his shoulder.

McGonagall watched him leave, anger welling up in her, "Over my dead body will I let a student of this school be punished by them," The professor called after Snape.

He paused once saying, "As you wish".

Huffing, the old women turned on her heels and stormed away, it was time for a staff meeting WITHOUT the new additions to the staff.

Connie 08-08-2011 12:01 AM

Hey Eviee. Sometimes I do feel sorry for Snape. He's kind of caught between a rock and a hard place. He has to pass the part of Voldemort's right hand man, yet still keep his promise to Dumbledore. And nobody knows either way, except for Dumbledore of course. Very nice chapter. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

By the way... Congratulations on your Golden Goblin Award

ashfig 08-08-2011 03:53 AM

it's been so long, i practically reread the first parts. but i like this. and snape. even though i still dont like snape too much. maybe im just being stubborn :)

AlwaysDance 08-08-2011 05:01 AM

I love the story!! Poor Sev it must be hard to run a scool as a baddy when he is such a goody. Keep up the great work. Pams

And by the way, CONGRATS!!! On your Golden Goblin.

°°°Sarah

bonnieginnyfan1 08-08-2011 10:26 AM

Eviee! :loved:

Love Snape in this chappie! <3 Keep up the great work! :glomp:

Can't wait for more, as always! *waits*

♥Stef♥

XenoLongbottom 08-08-2011 10:09 PM

AWESOME!!!!!! Please write more!

Buggy-Boo 08-08-2011 11:51 PM

Evvie: you always continue to amaze me with your writing!! It's great I love it!! I"m jealous that I can't write like that!

Hera 08-09-2011 12:42 PM

Ooohhh poor Snape! and poor McGonagall! :( *pets them both*

EEeeek I hope you post again soon! this is SO good! *huggles you* You're writing is absolutely spectacular!

x

natekka 08-10-2011 11:19 PM

Is officialy stalking! From no on :D I love it....it's just over-flowing with awesomness ^_^

*stalks and waits*

Ladybug 08-10-2011 11:29 PM

Sorry it's short!
 
SPOILER!!: Comments
Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10521271)
Hey Eviee. Sometimes I do feel sorry for Snape. He's kind of caught between a rock and a hard place. He has to pass the part of Voldemort's right hand man, yet still keep his promise to Dumbledore. And nobody knows either way, except for Dumbledore of course. Very nice chapter. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

By the way... Congratulations on your Golden Goblin Award

Haii Connie! Yeah i feel the same, it wasn't until i wrote and posted this story that i realized what i had done, captured both his good and bad side. Both roles that he had to play. Kinda didn't mean to do that :lol: Oh well it came out good.

You wont have to wait long, he's the next chapter. And thank you ever so much! I could say the same for you! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10521623)
it's been so long, i practically reread the first parts. but i like this. and snape. even though i still dont like snape too much. maybe im just being stubborn :)

Ah you know your writing a good story when a reader says' she's re-read the entire story to keep up! :lol: even if it's only a page! XDDD
Thank you for reading and here's the next post!

Meh you'll warm to Snape in the end...i promise :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahb (Post 10521683)
I love the story!! Poor Sev it must be hard to run a scool as a baddy when he is such a goody. Keep up the great work. Pams

And by the way, CONGRATS!!! On your Golden Goblin.

°°°Sarah

Haii Sarah! :glomp:

Thank you! I'm beginning to really like this story too! I'm really feeling for Snape now! I already know how this ends :lol: You'll just have to wait...

And THANK YOU! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10521909)
Eviee! :loved:

Love Snape in this chappie! <3 Keep up the great work! :glomp:

Can't wait for more, as always! *waits*

♥Stef♥

Stef! :glomp: :loved: < and that's just the beginning XDD

I'm glad you really like the story so far and i hope the next chapter will be as good! *huggles*
Here's more!

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoLongbottom (Post 10523821)
AWESOME!!!!!! Please write more!

Well hello there new reader. I'm Evangeline! :glomp:
Welcome and thank you for reading.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stethoscope12 (Post 10524022)
Evvie: you always continue to amaze me with your writing!! It's great I love it!! I"m jealous that I can't write like that!

Alyssa! :loved:
Haha do i really? I still do believe that i'm any good! :lol:
Thank you ever so much for reader and here's more! :glomp: and i bet your really good! Everyone had their ways of writing things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10525236)
Ooohhh poor Snape! and poor McGonagall! :( *pets them both*

EEeeek I hope you post again soon! this is SO good! *huggles you* You're writing is absolutely spectacular!

x

Emily....:glomp: You made it. :loved: YAY!
I know right! I think i felt really sorry and teary for Snape in the last book/movie more then anyone else! :O haven't practically liked him in the past :lol:

*huggles you* It's not that good! :lol: hahah, but here's the next chapter i hope you really like*prods*

x

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunax246 (Post 10529559)
Is officialy stalking! From no on :D I love it....it's just over-flowing with awesomness ^_^

*stalks and waits*

Nat! You made it! :loved: Haha, thank you for reading even if you were about to go to bed! *eyes Shh* :glomp:

I'm really happy that you are stalking :D and here's the next chapter...shame you went to bed already XDD


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


Dumbledore sighed once the room was once again quiet, the ring of the oak door being slammed still echoed in his ears, it vibrated through his canvas painting and shocked him deep down. He'd said the wrong thing he knew it but it had to be done to remind him. He must not make mistakes! Harry needed him even if he didn't know it.. or wouldn't believe it. His thoughts carried him further down away from the murmurs rising around him once more.

He had to think, He had to think.

"Dumbledore.." A voice growled from somewhere in the room, he looked up, "...do you really think giving such a task to someone like him, a Death Eater no doubt" The voice said again, it came from the left of Albus, from the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black. His lips closed in a straight line and his eyes never left that of Albus Dumbledore.

"Must I remind you, Phineas, that Death Eaters run in your family..."

"Yes but I wasn't one of them, I cursed those who chose the dark side," Phineas piped back, using his arms to further show his meaning.

"Oh quiet Phineas, We've heard it all before," Another portrait piped up joining the conversation.

Phineas, however, carried on, "I am embarrassed to be part of a family of Death Eaters."

"Given the chance you would have become one yourself." Another person called over.

"How dare you!...." Phinease roared to the point of breaking his portrait from the shackles against the wall. This caused an uproar from the remaining headmasters and mistresses.

Dumbledore listened for a moment sighing, will they ever learn? He heard insults such as 'mudblood', 'you never deserved to be headmaster of this school' before he lost his patience.

"Quiet!" He called to the room, one by one they all fell silent. Phineas the last with one last 'mudblood'. Albus waited a moment before speaking.

"I trust Severus with my life," Albus stated matter-of-factly, then he turned away.

"Sometimes that's not enough," Phineas hissed, loud enough for those either sides of him to hear. They rolled their eyes at this tempted to spark yet another fight by responding but they didn't. Phineas looked dissapointed.

ashfig 08-11-2011 01:00 AM

ooh I am first! HOORAY!! I really liked Phineas arguing with the other portraits. :) Oh, and I'm not sure if you meant it or not, but Dumbledore says "I trust Severus with ME life" I laughed cuz I read it with an Irish accent... PAMS!

Buggy-Boo 08-11-2011 01:12 AM

LOVE IT!!!!! write more now please!!

I love the even in death Dumbledore still has 'power' over the other portraits!!

If i was Phineaus, I'd point out that he did trust him with his life...and it killed him!! lol

AlwaysDance 08-11-2011 01:13 AM

Aww great chapter. I like the arguement with Phineas. It was funny. I love how Dumbledore says "I trust Snape with me life." And Snape killed him.
pams

Sarah

Hera 08-11-2011 01:36 AM

ROFL!! ohh that was brilliant! haha, I've always wondered what the portraits do when nobody's there. So now I know. They bicker :lmao:

Can't wait to see what happens next!!! >_<

PAMS!

bonnieginnyfan1 08-11-2011 10:04 PM

Good chappie Eviee, even though it was short, it kept me in the story really well! <3

Can't wait for more!

♥Stef♥

crookshanks_kitty 08-12-2011 03:03 AM

Evieee! :tackle: I'm here! *pitches tent* I love your story so far! As I said before, I love your writing style and I always enjoy reading whatever you share with us. :loved:

LillyJames 08-15-2011 03:39 PM

I am pitching a tent next to crookshanks to wait for the epic chapters to come!

Though i don't normally like Snape, I like him in this one.

Keep up the great work for you officially have a new reader!

PAMS

~Abby~

Ladybug 08-19-2011 06:21 PM

So sorry it short AGAIN! *hides*
 
SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10529785)
ooh I am first! HOORAY!! I really liked Phineas arguing with the other portraits. :) Oh, and I'm not sure if you meant it or not, but Dumbledore says "I trust Severus with ME life" I laughed cuz I read it with an Irish accent... PAMS!

Haha congratulations on being the first to post. I should get you a certificate :P

Whoops, i did correct the mistake, seemed normal with my English accent XD but i do love to make my readers laugh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stethoscope12 (Post 10529802)
LOVE IT!!!!! write more now please!!

I love the even in death Dumbledore still has 'power' over the other portraits!!

If i was Phineaus, I'd point out that he did trust him with his life...and it killed him!! lol

Haii Alyssa, your wish has been granted. A new chapter right here! *points down*

Ah Dumbledore will always be the top man, and yeah but he chose his own death remember. Snape didn't want to kill him.


Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahb (Post 10529808)
Aww great chapter. I like the arguement with Phineas. It was funny. I love how Dumbledore says "I trust Snape with me life." And Snape killed him.
pams

Sarah

Haii Sarah i'm glad i made you laugh and thank you for reading. I hope to get you interested in the rest of the story.

Haha everyone's bringing that up...everyone makes mistakes right? thank again!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10529841)
ROFL!! ohh that was brilliant! haha, I've always wondered what the portraits do when nobody's there. So now I know. They bicker :lmao:

Can't wait to see what happens next!!! >_<

PAMS!

Emily, Emily, Emily. Welcome..*uses creepy voice*

Haiiii! *bounces* I'm glad i filled your thoughts to an extent, the portraits. Gotta love them XDD

New chapter! *points down*

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10532355)
Good chappie Eviee, even though it was short, it kept me in the story really well! <3

Can't wait for more!

♥Stef♥

Stef thank you for dropping by, i know your having a busy RL. How is all that? school and everything.

Thank you for the comment i look forward to it, and i promise the chapters are getting longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crookshanks_kitty (Post 10533427)
Evieee! :tackle: I'm here! *pitches tent* I love your story so far! As I said before, I love your writing style and I always enjoy reading whatever you share with us. :loved:

Ava << I got it right! :D this is the point where you correct me XD

Thank you for reading, *eyes tent* Would you like some decorations for that tent?

Aww thank you, i could always say the same for you. I could mistake you for an autor already your that good. I'm not joking. :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10548177)
I am pitching a tent next to crookshanks to wait for the epic chapters to come!

Though i don't normally like Snape, I like him in this one.

Keep up the great work for you officially have a new reader!

PAMS

~Abby~

Haii Abby :glomp:

Do you always want some decorations? I have plenty over here :lol:

Yeah i'm the same Snape hasn't been a big fan of mine but the idea for this story came to mind and i HAD to write it :D

And YAY for the new reader!!

Tea and Cake all round!


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


"My Lord," Amycas whispered lending his head. He was alone in the room save for Lord Voldemort himself and those who lingered. Amycas waiting and staring at the old stone floor below him. A crack entered his view, it was deep and black. It ran the length of his line of sight, away from its center damage as if it wanted to get away fast.

He heard footsteps above him and a pair of feet came into view. The man wore no shoes, his white feet was covered with scratches and dirt marks but Amycas knew he didn't care, he couldn't feel.

"Amycas..." The Dark Lord said, his scratchy voice filled the large room and bounced off the stone walls around them. Amycas Carrow lifted his head and extended his arm. Taking the hem of his master's black robe he brought it to his mouth to kiss. He tasted dirty and grime and made a face to show his disgust glad that no one could see his face, "..Rise, what news do you bring?" Voldemort continued as if nothing had happened.

Amycas raised from the floor, his knee clicking in the process. He ignored the searing pain that went shooting up his leg and into his back and quickly glanced left and right. There were rubbles everywhere small and big and what looked like half the ceiling no longer where it should be. A heavy breeze blew through the gap into the ceiling above and blew through his growing hair and robes. He forced back a shiver and looked forward once more.

"He has been told My Lord, he didn't look best pleased."

"That was expected but you will do the plan..." Amycas interrupted whispering, "Yes My Lord."

"...where is your sister?" He gulped, he didn't like to be in the gaze of Lord Voldemort. No one did.

"S-she's at Hogwarts My Lord, she had to check a few things.." He paused.

"Check a few things? what would that be?" Amycas opened and closed his mouth, he had nothing to say. Sweat began to form on his palms, he gulped once more under the beady gaze of the Dark Lord.

"My Lord," A high pitched voice rang out with glee, he turned his head slightly to see Bellatrix bouncing into view, a smile plastered on her face. ",We have her, she tried to hide in the hollow of a tree.." She continued laughing gleefully.

"Excellent, where is she?" Lord Voldemort replied slowly showing one of his rare smiles, he moved away from the man, slightly shaking before him, and headed towards his favorite. Amycas began to breathe the air that he held. He followed the Dark Lord's figure and watched as he approached a happy Bella who had found a perch on a the top of a rubble of stone. He took the time to look around and truly see his surroundings.

Pillars lines each side of the room in lines of four, tilting his head he noticed they touched floor to ceiling holding the old structure in place. Some were badly damaged and he wondered how they stayed in place, other had simply holds of missing rock that meant nothing. His gaze moved onto search for more obvious signs. His eyes caught something glimmering on the floor, a hole in the stone with metal covering the sides as if it was suppose to hold something. Some sort of post for a bench, at this thought his eyes flickered to the front where the front would be. Also badly damaged. They were in a church, a church that put up a fight but now empty. It didn't look like any normal church it looked like one that was once big but now gone. Long forgotten many many years before.

"..she's in the rooms below," Whatever Bella had been saying before he hadn't caught nor cared. Gulping he piped up;

"My Lord...the school...discipline.." He chocked out, Voldemort stared at him once more.

"Yes, yes go. I expect updates Amycas," He turned away once more and breathed again glad to be out of the spotlight. Amycas turned on his heels and disappeared...

AlwaysDance 08-19-2011 06:28 PM

oh great chapter :) I am a bit confused by who she is though???? Keep up the great work. I'll be waiting for more.

Sarah

LillyJames 08-19-2011 07:22 PM

Oh Great chapter!

I'm kind of confused too. But I'm sure you'll clear it up soon!

PAMS

~Abby~

ashfig 08-19-2011 07:43 PM

oooh very well written...i'm a bit nervous/scared *hides*

bonnieginnyfan1 08-19-2011 10:54 PM

I'm a bit confused too! :lol:

Maybe I'll find out in the next chappie.... :shifty:

Great work Eviee! <3

♥Stef♥

AvisPhoenix74 08-19-2011 11:07 PM

"Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends."
 
Such a good chapter! I love your writing! :D

Hera 08-20-2011 09:25 AM

Great chappie sweetie! ... and who'd have thought I'd ever feel sorry for the Carrows. :(

PAMS!!! :D

:glomp:

Mordanyes 08-20-2011 09:47 AM

*catches up* Woah! These chapters I've missed have been brilliant! I love them :loved: PAMS :x3:

crookshanks_kitty 08-21-2011 11:39 PM

Hey Evie! :coffee: Great chapter. I love your descriptions.

I wonder who the woman is. I can't wait to find out. ^_^

PAMS (please)?

narnia_potter 08-22-2011 08:33 PM

Hey, new reader. great story! can't wait to read more!! :)
-Rachel

Connie 08-27-2011 05:07 AM

Hey Eviee, great chapters. Sorry its taking me so long to catch up on these chapters. I'm with Hera;
Quote:

Great chappie sweetie! ... and who'd have thought I'd ever feel sorry for the Carrows.
I wouldn't wish Voldamort's wrath on anyone, even dirty rotten evil monsters like the Carrows. I am anxious to find out why he is so anxious to find her. What did she do? I reckon we'll find out soon. <_< It doesn't seem like Amycas is doing much to defend his sister, or try to protect her. A disfunctional family I ever did see. :xd:
I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Ladybug 08-30-2011 03:21 PM

This seemed longer when i wrote it on paper....hmm.
 
SPOILER!!: Comments
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahb (Post 10563877)
oh great chapter :) I am a bit confused by who she is though???? Keep up the great work. I'll be waiting for more.

Sarah

Thank you for reading (: And It's alright the who the 'she' is should be revealed soon enough. :glomp: thank you again for reading.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10564002)
Oh Great chapter!

I'm kind of confused too. But I'm sure you'll clear it up soon!

PAMS

~Abby~

Haii Abby, haha I seem to have confused everyone with who the 'she' is but as i told Sarah above that will be revealed soon enough i hope! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10564061)
oooh very well written...i'm a bit nervous/scared *hides*

Haiii thanks for reading and you are? Whoops wasn't suppose to scare you! *hides* haha

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10564577)
I'm a bit confused too! :lol:

Maybe I'll find out in the next chappie.... :shifty:

Great work Eviee! <3

♥Stef♥

Stef! :loved:

Sorry for confusing you, will reveal who the 'she' is soon enough I promise! *nods* Sadly this chapter you will not find out who that is though. I'll save that for another time.

Thanks for reading.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AvisPhoenix74 (Post 10564599)
Such a good chapter! I love your writing! :D

Thank you! More down below for you! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10565818)
Great chappie sweetie! ... and who'd have thought I'd ever feel sorry for the Carrows. :(

PAMS!!! :D

:glomp:

Emily, Emily, Emily :glomp: :loved:

*breaths* Okay thank you for reading, and feeling sorry for the Carrows!? HAHAHAH, believe me I was not feeling sorry for them when i wrote this. :lol:

Luff youuu....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10565853)
*catches up* Woah! These chapters I've missed have been brilliant! I love them :loved: PAMS :x3:

Haiii welcome back! and thank you for reading and commenting! :glomp:

Aww really? THANK YOU! *huggles you*

Quote:

Originally Posted by crookshanks_kitty (Post 10571604)
Hey Evie! :coffee: Great chapter. I love your descriptions.

I wonder who the woman is. I can't wait to find out. ^_^

PAMS (please)?

Haii, thank you for reading and commenting! :loved:

and i will reveal who the women is in a few chapters to come.

Quote:

Originally Posted by narnia_potter (Post 10573970)
Hey, new reader. great story! can't wait to read more!! :)
-Rachel

Haii Rachel, thank you for reading and your very welcome here! I try to have a little comment for every reader and I do try to make them different and personal to that person. ANYWAY, Welcome and thank you for reading. I hope this next chapter will be up to the standards as the rest.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10588531)
Hey Eviee, great chapters. Sorry its taking me so long to catch up on these chapters. I'm with Hera;I wouldn't wish Voldamort's wrath on anyone, even dirty rotten evil monsters like the Carrows. I am anxious to find out why he is so anxious to find her. What did she do? I reckon we'll find out soon. <_< It doesn't seem like Amycas is doing much to defend his sister, or try to protect her. A disfunctional family I ever did see. :xd:
I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

I can always count on a long loving comment from you Connie :loved: It's quiet alright with the wait on the comment I don't mind i know you've been through a lot these past few weeks and I hope your alright now? Haha your ganging up on me! :lol: But i agree with you and Emily I really wouldn't want Voldemort to single me out and the such, he's scary! Ah you mean the women? Yes I will reveal who that person is soon enough but I hope this chapter is alright, At the moment I'm still introducing all the character point of views then i will carry the story forward. Other then this one I have one more point of view another couple if i decide to add them later but they wont be main POV'S and then it will become Snape's story all the way :glomp:

Ah i believe all those who are Death Eaters are from a disfuctional family.


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


The hilltop was not particularly high but high enough that anyone who stood on it would feel the heavy breeze blowing towards it. It rustled the high grass in different directions wildly and rustled the leaves of the only tree on the hill. The wind gathered speed forcing a few weak leaves to give up on survival and get tumbled to the ground, spinning in circles. The wind died down finally after a few minutes letting the remaining leaves fall limp against their stems.

A young girl stood alone, her hand lying lightly on the bark of the tree. She watched on over the hill at the rising sun. It peeped over the horizon, casting a soft golden glow on the countryside around her, and the valley of houses that stood about a mile below her. As the sun grew higher, the girl lifted her limp arm and shielded her eyes from the blazing sun. The breeze still blew over the hill but not as bad as before, her soft red hair that laid to just below her mid back blew slightly and the wind whispered across her pale cheek. She wore simple muggle clothing, a white dress that hugged her waist but fell loosely around her knees.

Anyone looking on would wonder why an eleven - going on twelve - year old stood alone, but no one did. She was simply alone. Moving, finally, the young girl bent to pick up the small dark bag that laid at her feet and slung it over her shoulder.

She began to walk slowly down the hill towards the valley, now that the sunrise had been and gone she needed to move on. Birds chirped all around her welcoming the new day, a new beginning. It didn't take her long to descend the remaining hill and breach, the boundary of the sleeping village. People on the left and the right were walking up, some faster than others. One such man clearly coming close to the end of his long life sat in a creaking rocking chair, he held a large book in his lap but made no attempt to read it. Instead his beady eyes roamed round the somewhat sleepy village doing what he did best. Nose around.

He didn't see her, no one did. They couldn't, she was dead to the world yet still alive. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she pressed on passing the not yet opened stalls and stores. She reached the middle of the market place within a few minutes and stepped up towards the water fountain that sat there. She dropped her small black bag when she reached it, leaning over she cupped her hands under the water and brought it to her lips. The ice cold water stung the inside of her mouth for a moment before it slide down her throat refreshing her. She cupped her hand under the water once more and repeated the action.

She went to reach the water a third time when she felt it, the cold stare she knew, learned to like but not love. The young girl looked up and there he was, he wasn't how she remembered him. He was older, his hair longer but still the same color. He stared at her looking scared, unsure on what he was seeing. His face stretched into a smile as she took a step forward but he stepped back.

She stopped, pain ran through her to the core. Her friend, her dear sweet friend that she loved with all her heart. She loved him. Always. He-he was scared of her. She didn't understand why, the tears prickled the corners of her eyes. She couldn't stay, she had to go. The young girl fell back a few paces before turning on her heels and running from the village.

She didn't look back.

LillyJames 08-30-2011 05:40 PM

Oh my! I love it! It's so good, you're writing style is amazing!

I can't wait for more!!

bonnieginnyfan1 08-30-2011 10:06 PM

Love it, Eviee! Love it! <3 :glomp:

Keep up the excellent work!

Can't wait to see what happens in the nest chappie..... :shifty:

♥Stef♥

narnia_potter 08-31-2011 01:16 AM

Hey, great chapter! though, I have to say, I am super confused. ;) I know you probably won't tell, but here goes: who is the girl?
who is looking at her/scared of her/who she loves?
is she the girl voldie is holding?
if not, who is that girl?
Well, now that ive pestered you with questions, I shall say again, you did a great job! :)
-Rachel

KP1 09-01-2011 06:45 AM

I love it!

Mordanyes 09-01-2011 07:04 AM

Woah, awesome chapter! :x3: I'm having a few ideas of who the girl is...

SPOILER!!: Mah guessssssss
Maybe a certain Lily Evans :eyebrows:... Just a guess, only from what was said in the new chapter.

LillyJames 09-01-2011 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10604017)
Woah, awesome chapter! :x3: I'm having a few ideas of who the girl is...

SPOILER!!: Mah guessssssss
Maybe a certain Lily Evans :eyebrows:... Just a guess, only from what was said in the new chapter.

That had been my guess too Mordanyes, but only for the second girl, I doubt they are the same person.

ashfig 09-02-2011 11:38 AM

Ooh this is really good! It is incredibly well written, and I'm practically on the edge of my seAt wondering what will happen next. I, too, assumed the same as ^^ but I suppose we will have to wait and see. Great job! :)

crookshanks_kitty 09-08-2011 03:30 AM

Hi Evie! Wow! Just wow! I absolutely adore the imagery you use to describe the beautiful setting you have created in your mind. These descriptive words are like a breath of fresh air and it blows me away.

Anyway, I'm going to make two guessed on who the girl may be. I know you're not going to confirm whether I'm right ot not just yet. I'll give it a shot anyway. Is is young Lily and possibly young Snape? Or she may be a squib? Not sure why. Just a random guess.

I can't wait to read more! PAMS!!!

Ladybug 09-12-2011 05:58 PM

The person Voldemort has is NOT the same person in the last chapter. Sorry
 
SPOILER!!: Comments
Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10598604)
Oh my! I love it! It's so good, you're writing style is amazing!

I can't wait for more!!

Why thank you, I do try *bows* :lol: It's so good to read your comments!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10599188)
Love it, Eviee! Love it! <3 :glomp:

Keep up the excellent work!

Can't wait to see what happens in the nest chappie..... :shifty:

♥Stef♥

Stef! :loved: Thank You! I'm running out of pre-written chapters! :lol:

I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last although It's mostly thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by narnia_potter (Post 10599522)
Hey, great chapter! though, I have to say, I am super confused. ;) I know you probably won't tell, but here goes: who is the girl?
who is looking at her/scared of her/who she loves?
is she the girl voldie is holding?
if not, who is that girl?
Well, now that ive pestered you with questions, I shall say again, you did a great job! :)
-Rachel

Rachel :glomp:

I'm so sorry for getting you confused. The girl in the last chapter on the hill is NOT the same person Lord Voldemort has. Not this chapter but in a few chapters I will go back to the women Voldemort is holding.

As for the little, you wont know who she is till the end of the story. Sorry!

Thank You again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KP1 (Post 10603979)
I love it!

Haii, Thank You!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10604017)
Woah, awesome chapter! :x3: I'm having a few ideas of who the girl is...

SPOILER!!: Mah guessssssss
Maybe a certain Lily Evans :eyebrows:... Just a guess, only from what was said in the new chapter.

Nice guess! I wont tell you who the girl is. You'll have to wait and read!

Thanks for reading! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10605689)
That had been my guess too Mordanyes, but only for the second girl, I doubt they are the same person.

You are quiet right they are not the same person! I fear I've confused everyone! *hides*

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashfig (Post 10608307)
Ooh this is really good! It is incredibly well written, and I'm practically on the edge of my seAt wondering what will happen next. I, too, assumed the same as ^^ but I suppose we will have to wait and see. Great job! :)

Thank You for reading! Ah I hope this next chapter will keep you sorted till the next chapter! :D :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by crookshanks_kitty (Post 10626605)
Hi Evie! Wow! Just wow! I absolutely adore the imagery you use to describe the beautiful setting you have created in your mind. These descriptive words are like a breath of fresh air and it blows me away.

Anyway, I'm going to make two guessed on who the girl may be. I know you're not going to confirm whether I'm right ot not just yet. I'll give it a shot anyway. Is is young Lily and possibly young Snape? Or she may be a squib? Not sure why. Just a random guess.

I can't wait to read more! PAMS!!!

Ava :loved: Thank You, I wrote this in my spare time while on holiday and I know I wont get a chapter like this again anytime soon but with the next chapter with the little girl I hope to get at least halfway there. Your words are magnificent even if only used as a comment :glomp:

Your right I wont confirm the girl's identity but I like your guesses, a Squib? That's interesting no one else has thought of that but if that's who you believe it is then part of it's gotta be true right?

Guys I've started college again and my clubs are to follow meaning I will have less time to post chapters. Although I will take my writing pad to college to write. Sorry for the trouble. You are all AMAZING readers and I love you all. Eviee.


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


A month went by since Snape's outburst with no real excitement. The students had yet to return to Hogwarts after their holidays. Though he doubted many would - he wouldn't have and didn't blame those that didn't - and those that decided to would be under the wrath of the Carrows, more than him that was true. He'd be strict and he'd advise the other professor's to do that same, this was after all a school and given the current situation, but it fell to the Carrows to force discipline. God knows whose idea this was and at the thought of an earlier memory filtered through his mind.

...His black hair covered one side of his face more than the other but he didn't care. He was far too busy keeping his thoughts running wild as he listened to the shocking news given to him.

The man standing before him was tall and lanky, hardly a Death Eater material. His pitch black robes held loosely to his thin body, his arms were stretched out before him holding a fresh looking parchment.

"...and until which time the Dark Lord decides different the Carrows will remain here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..." The man's lazy tone cut through his thoughts as he finished speaking. Once finished, the man closed the parchment and dropped his hands to his side.

Snape let the words sink in while he pondered on what to say. His mind was blank, no thoughts flashed around. Only one sentence appeared before his eyes; 'They cannot come here...', over and over again.

Finally brushing a stray hair from his face he spoke, "Very well, is there anything else from the Dark Lord?" It felt like a lifetime since the time the man stopped speaking till the time Snape began to, but in actual fact only mere minutes.

"Yes.." A high pitched voice said from the shadows, "I will take over Muggle Studies as Professor as our dear friend had vanished..." The voice continued as the speaker stepped out of the shadows. Alecto Carrow sneered at the headmaster, her small structure taking up no room beside her companion.

"And I will teach the Dark Arts, it seems you have no Professor to take that role," another voice, Alecto's brother, stepped from the same shadows and up beside her.

Snape glared at the trio with hatred as well as shock. He hadn't been expecting this when he was given the role of headmaster. This made him think that maybe the Dark Lord didn't trust him, but no he had done all that had been asked of him. They were waiting for him to speak but he said nothing, his hand curled up on his lap. He tried to control his anger.

He still said nothing.

"...The Dark Lord also stated that the Carrows will deal with discipline and you should advise the professors to hand over troublesome students..." The first man spoke slowly, unease in his voice.

Snape opened his mouth, "Very well..."


A crash behind him pulled him from his thoughts. The clash of metal against stone rang though his ears with pain. Snape whirled around.

bonnieginnyfan1 09-12-2011 09:51 PM

Interesting chappie, Eviee! :yes:

Different people teaching different subjects now! :eyebrows:

I like it very much! <3 Can't wait to find out about the Hilltop girl

♥Stef♥

LillyJames 09-12-2011 10:06 PM

I like it to, a lot!

I really want to find out about the Hilltop girl but I'll stop asking...

PAMS!

Hera 09-13-2011 02:41 AM

Yay I'm finally caught up!

For some reason when I was reading, that girl on the hilltop reminded me of Lily.. but that wouldn't make sense. I don't think... But it was a very nice chapter!

And as for the latest chapter, I love it! The way you write Snape is amazing.. it makes me love him even more. And whats happeneing?! *waits for your next post*

PAMS! :glomp:

AlwaysDance 09-13-2011 03:02 AM

Oh interesting. A bit confusing but interesting.
Great writing Evvie. I can't wait to find out who this girl is

***Sarah

Buggy-Boo 09-13-2011 03:10 AM

Evvie :glomp: sorry I've been a few chapters behind, but now I"m all caught up and I LOVE IT!!!!!

Connie 09-13-2011 04:22 AM

Hey Eviee, they say there's nothing like suspense to keep a reader coming back. So you should have it made with readers, cause who could read this and not come back. WOW, very suspenseful and well written.

This bit has me so curious!
Quote:

Snape let the words sink in while he pondered on what to say. His mind was blank, no thoughts flashed around. Only one sentenceappeared before his eyes; 'They cannot come here...', over and over again.
Is he thinking of Harry, Ron and Hermione? Of course you aren't expected to answer, this is just me thinking again.

Great chapter Eviee. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Ladybug 09-23-2011 06:21 PM

The last person I'm bringing into the story. I now can move forward!
 
SPOILER!!: Comments
Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10641775)
Interesting chappie, Eviee! :yes:

Different people teaching different subjects now! :eyebrows:

I like it very much! <3 Can't wait to find out about the Hilltop girl

♥Stef♥

Haiii Stef :loved: Thank you for reading!

Yeshhh, A few teachers going missing too!

Glad you like and I shall bring her back in a few chapters! *nods*

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10641823)
I like it to, a lot!

I really want to find out about the Hilltop girl but I'll stop asking...

PAMS!

Here's the next chapter! I will be posting another chapter for 'The Hilltop Girl' Soon. I Promise!

:loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10642495)
Yay I'm finally caught up!

For some reason when I was reading, that girl on the hilltop reminded me of Lily.. but that wouldn't make sense. I don't think... But it was a very nice chapter!

And as for the latest chapter, I love it! The way you write Snape is amazing.. it makes me love him even more. And whats happeneing?! *waits for your next post*

PAMS! :glomp:

Emily! :glomp: :loved:

Thank You for reading and yeah the girl reminded me of her a bit too...weird? hahaha.

Glad you loved it! I know the chapter's are not very long I do try but I think they're getting a little longer by each cahpter...And really? Awww I'm beginning to love him a lot too! *nods* More here! :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hera (Post 10642534)
Re-activated: 13/09/11

What the....?

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahb (Post 10642536)
Oh interesting. A bit confusing but interesting.
Great writing Evvie. I can't wait to find out who this girl is

***Sarah

Heyaaa Sarah! :loved:

Sorry to confuse you, I will hopefully un-confuse you soon! *nods*
I can tell you that you will find out about the girl at the end of the story. I'm mean :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stethoscope12 (Post 10642553)
Evvie :glomp: sorry I've been a few chapters behind, but now I"m all caught up and I LOVE IT!!!!!

Alyssa! :glomp:

Glad you caught up! (: And THANK YOU FOR READING!! :glomp: :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10642721)
Hey Eviee, they say there's nothing like suspense to keep a reader coming back. So you should have it made with readers, cause who could read this and not come back. WOW, very suspenseful and well written.

This bit has me so curious! Is he thinking of Harry, Ron and Hermione? Of course you aren't expected to answer, this is just me thinking again.

Great chapter Eviee. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Haiii Connie, Will get to catching up with your story ASAP I promise! :glomp:

And I agree, that's what I've been trying to do here. I hope I'm doing it correctly! (: Awww thank you! :loved: I can say the same for your story *blushes* Just been VERY busy recently with college... Thank You again.

You mean Snape? When he thinks; 'They can not come here'? I believe he's thinking of the Carrows at that point and how they would harm his lives work in helping Harry....But that could be different :P

Thank You again for reading :loved:



Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


The fire raged, crackling as it moved around. The fire wood didn't have a chance, Narcissa stared onwards. A glass of wine held in her hand. Her long stunning black dress with its floor length skirt and white flower pattern all around the top of it hugged her waist.

She was alone.

Behind her, music blared through the thick walls hitting her eardrums like a quiet drum. She had no reason to attend the party that was ongoing, he was worried about her son. While she was playing hostess, her son was planning a murder. Lifting her gloved hand - also black - she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye just as the oak door behind her opened. She didn't turn around.

"Narcissa, come to the party," her sister Bella yelled dancing across the room. She'd obviously had something to drink because her words slightly slurred. Narcissa turned then to face her sister.

"I'll be back in a minute." But her sister didn't take that as an answer, before the first women could do anything Bella's hand wound its way round her wrist in a tight grip for someone not in their right mind. Bella dragged her sister from the room.

The party was in full swing but to most observers you would call it a death party with everyone wearing black although Narcissa could see some people in color. She always found these parties boring but because she lived there she had to play the happy wife. The host's wife. She just wished the party was over so she could go back to her thoughts but alas that was not suppose to happen.

Narcissa grabbed a new drink from a table as she past and proceeded to join her husband. She was glad Bella had left her alone when they had entered the room. Her husband looked older than he actually was, the fact he hadn't been getting any sleep and the stress of everything didn't help. His long blond hair fell against his shoulders where he ignored it as he spoke to a friend and fellow Death Eater. She came up beside him.

"There you are," Lucius Malfoy said turning to his wife, "Where have you been?" He sounded more annoyed than anything else.

"Sorry I was taking a moment away from the party," her reply was, she looked into her husband's face to try and send a telepathic message. He knew how much she was worrying about Draco. He didn't seem to be paying attention, instead he was looking over her shoulder at something. She turned also.

The various people that were attending the party were breaking away from each other and in to two separate groups. Walking through the middle was a small man with rat-like features. He twitched a little as he walked, as he continued to walk towards Lucius and Narcissa. Bella came to join them.

"Wormtail," Bella said first taking control of the situation. Narcissa watched as her husband glared at her behind her back.

"I…I have a message from the Dark Lord." He looked at the ground as he spoke in respect and fear. Nobody spoke. "He wants to..to hold a meeting here tomorrow. Everyone's to attend." Poor choice of words. Lucius paled at the information but Bella started firing questions at the twitching man.

"You lie, I was not told about this. Where's your proof?," She paused, "Why did the Dark Lord not tell us himself?" Her eyes bored into Wormtails, "Leave us," she commanded turning away.

Wormtail didn't wait around, he quickly left and was followed by all the guests. Soon only those that remain were Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix.

"This is my home, you have no right to walk in here and act like your more than a guest," Lucius thundered stepping forward. 'Cissa had been quick to pick up on the fact her husband hadn't said our home. She said nothing instead she took a step back. She never liked to get into their fights.

"You have no right to tell me what to do. You are finished, the Dark Lord does not need you." Bella stepped forward also so they were practically nose to nose. 'Cissa stepped back out of the way.

"That still gives you no right..."

Bella cut him off, "YOU ARE FINISHED, You are not needed. The only reason you are still alive is because Draco has something to finish even then we do not need you. And we both know he is going to fail and then you will be finished for good." Bella glared at him, Narcissa stifled a gasp.

Lucius had nothing to say. Bella was right the Dark Lord didn't need him or his family and they could be killed in an instant.

"You have nothing to say," Bellatrix taunted, "You know I'm right," she added smirking before turning on her heels and walking from the room laughing as she went. Narcissa and her husband watched her go.

"Lucius..." Narcissa whispered stepping forward taking his hand in hers. He turned and glared taking his hand away.

"Go to bed Narcissa," her husband said not unkindly. He seemed both worried and scared.

"I wanted to talk to you," she paused, "You cannot let Draco do this..."

"We cannot defy the Dark Lord, Draco will do this and bring our family back to power," he interrupted.

"He cannot do this we know it, the Dark Lord knows it too!" He voice began to raise.

"Silence!" Lucius cried silencing his wife, "We need to be prepared for the Dark Lord. Where is that damn houseelf?" He added before storming from the room. Narcissa watched him go, anger welling up inside her. How could her husband be incompetent to helping her save their son. She stood there for a moment more debating how she should persuade the Dark Lord to give Draco's job to someone else. Finally she left.

LillyJames 09-23-2011 08:54 PM

EEP! YAY another post! I love it! I like having different point of views during a story...I can't wait for more!

Mordanyes 09-23-2011 09:49 PM

Loved the chapters I just catched up on :D Very awesome! :x3:

narnia_potter 09-23-2011 11:01 PM

Hey!
Great job! It's very good and gives a good look into Narcissa. :)
I've always wondered about Narcissa and have always felt sorry for her. She was always my favorite Malfoy (aside from Draco ;) ), especially in the movies. Your post makes me wonder (as have the books) if Lucius and her actually loved each other or just the arrangement of 2 good pureblood families.
Very, very good job!! :D
-Rachel

Connie 09-24-2011 04:26 AM

Hey Eviee, I'll start off with saying I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Maybe you heard that lately, but I had to think about it when I said it before. Your writing offers a unique style that causes an atmosphere of like, you're really there but in a separate reality where nobody can see or hear you, but you are right there seeing and hearing it all, as you read it.

I can only imagine what Narcissus must be feeling as her son is ordered to kill Dumbledore, and worse yet to know that he isn't expected to pull it off. Draco's first order though was to find a way for the Death Eaters to get into Hogwarts. Do you think Narcissus knew about that order? I don't think so, because he snuck away from her when he went to Knockturn Alley. And I think because he was able to do that, (find a way in) Voldemort forgave his inability to kill Dumbledore, and allowed him to live although he was displeased he wasn't the one to kill him. I think if he had failed that he wouldn't have had to worry about killing Dumbledore because Voldemort would kill him (Draco).
Quote:

'Cissa had been quick to pick up on the fact her husband hadn't said our home.
Yes, <_< I picked up on that too. I always felt sorry for Narcissa, still don't like her, but I did feel sorry for her. I think Lucius does love her, but not as a wife, but as one of his treasures that shows him off. And I think that it isn't until he realizes that they will more than likely loose their lives that he finds out he does love her and his son. But wow! I can't imagine what a life like that could be like. Awful is what it is.
Quote:

"Lucius..." Narcissus whispered stepping forward taking his hand in hers. He turned and glared taking his hand away.

"Go to bed Narcissa," her husband said not unkindly. He seemed both worried and scared.
:hack: She :hack: is :hack: your :hack: wife :hack: Lucius! :hack:RESPECT HER!!!!!!!!! :hack:Anyway, your writing is brilliant, you make me think. OK, enough said before I have to start putting chapter titles on this comment. :blush:
Great work Eviee, love your story, keep up the great work. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Hera 09-24-2011 05:49 PM

Oohh yay!! brilliant chapter sweetie.

Oh how I loathe Bellatrix! you write her so well *glares at her*

PAMS!

AlwaysDance 09-24-2011 10:34 PM

Eviee :glomp: great chapter. I love how you write Narcissa. It maakes her seem more friendly and motherly which I really think she is deep down. This FF is so exciting. I will be waiting for more :)

Sarah

Droo 09-25-2011 01:23 AM

Ooo Cool new chapter

ashfig 09-26-2011 04:21 AM

i like this! i'm honestly not a huge fan of the malfoy's and that whole lot, but this was entertaining. and poor 'Cissa...she's always been kinda good at heart. maybe that's why i was so mad at lucius...grrrrr

WitchLight27 10-02-2011 11:21 AM

Eviee! :glomp: :loved:

I was totally stalking you and I discovered this. I'm not really into reading fan-fictions. Just starting now. And it was awesome! I should do this more often. :P

I love the story. I am so interested about the girl at the hill. Snape's lovelife. :D Getting a little excited at the thought. Expect me to be here most of the time. :lol:

-Vine :D

bonnieginnyfan1 10-11-2011 09:49 AM

Awesome chappie Eviee! <3

Sorry I haven't read in a while! :blush:

Buggy-Boo 10-12-2011 07:18 PM

Evvie, I'm always so late in my replies!! but I love it as usual!!!!

Ladybug 10-12-2011 08:31 PM

Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


"Yes?" Snape asked irritated. The house elf finally looked up.

"Sorry Sir...sir," Dobby stammered bowing, Snape waited, '"This came for you, I...i was asked to deliver," Dobby concluded shaking.

Snape said nothing but stared at the piece of folded parchment in the elf's dirty hand, He snatched it away from him.

"Leave me," Snape snapped striding away. Not far from where they stood light bloomed into the hall from a large window. Reds and purples danced around from the colours of the window like that of a church window. Snape , parchment in one hand and wand in the other, stopped short of the window which gave the hall the only light and he broke the seal and read what was on it.

Quote:

"Malfoy Manor Tomorrow 7pm
Bring News on Potter."




Nothing else sat on the paper that gleamed up at him, He turned it over to look for a signature. None jumped out at him. Turning it over once more he wondered who had written it, it was no writing he'd seen before. Snape stared at it for a moment more before leaving, unaware at the audience he had gained.

--------------

"Did you give it to him?" The aging woman asked the house elf as he trotted towards her. She'd been waiting for a while to do something about the current headmaster. Call her the 'spy' even though at her age that was completely childish and if she'd caught a student doing it then she'd most probably scold them but she was doing this for the children.

"Yes ma'am," Dobby said bowing towards her before evaporating away. Once he had gone, the Hogwarts teacher turned back to staring around the bulky statue to watch the current headmaster.

She could feel the memory of the past few weeks fill her mind once more when she had 'talked' to the headmaster himself the first time and vowed to look out for the students any way she could. At that meeting, her and a few trusted Hogwarts Professors had known that it was only the beginning.

The memory spoke for itself;

McGonagall burst through the door to the Professors lounge, the one place they could talk with each other regarding their school subjects and the like. That was once upon a time, now, however, they had to be careful about what they talked about for fear of it coming back to haunt them. Today the aging women didn't care, stopping to breath she looked left and right for the right person who happened to be reading a book in the corner.

"Poppy," She said rushing over, ignoring the few glances from the other staff. The Hospital Matron looked up in question, "I need to talk to you urgently." Was all she said before turning, McGonagall caught the eyes of a few more Professors to signal them to follow her before she left the room, followed by about six others. Leading them to her office she thought about what she was going to say, how to put it to sound realistic and convincing. Her office wasn't that far away so in a few minutes they were all crowded around the walls of her office.

"What is it Minerva?" Slughorn asked watching her, a few others nodded her head.

"I asked you all here because I feel you can all be trusted to help me in my plans?" My plans? So childish she thought but she'd said it. Everyone was watching her with interest now. With a pause she told them all about her 'talk' with the headmaster. A few bursts of shock, horror and outrage.

"How could he even think of letting them take charge of punishment!?" Flitwick squeaked.

She shook her head for silence, "Look, I don't like it as much as the rest of you that's why I've called you all here. There is no way to stop this madness but we can try and help those students who do fall under the Carrow's rule." She paused to look at all their faces; Horence Slughorn, Poppy Promfrey, Filius Flitwick, Rolanda Hooch, Pomana Sproat,Sybill Trelawney. "Look, you've all heard of the Order of the Pheonix and Dumbledore's Army that a group of loyal students here at Hogwarts created, this is nothing like those. All I'm asking is that you help me look after the students here at Hogwarts. They deserve better than what they are given." She stopped and looked around.

Nobody spoke for a moment and the Professor was worried she was sounding stupid but after a moment her best friend spoke up. "I'm in, I'd much rather I didn't see so many students in my Hospital Wing everyday," Pomfrey said smiling a little. Soon everyone else agreed.

"Good, now we just keep a look out and help the students anyway we can," McGonagall said before nodding and sitting down. They all filed out like she'd given them detention for a week. She was exhausted, laying her head in her hands she closed her eyes.


She found herself back in the shadows, by the statue watching as the Headmaster opened up his message and gave it a scan. As she continued to watch he flipped it over and over looking for something. Again she found herself going back in time, this time to a few minutes before she came to be in the shadows.

She was doing her usual patrol of the castle in her free period in case she found any rule breakers and students who were suppose to be in class. So far only five had had points taken from her in the last hour. She didn't want to give them detention because she knew what that meant, giving them over to the Carrow's and she didn't want to do that.

Just as she was about to give up her patrol and head towards her classroom for her next class she watched as an owl soared through the open great doors and landed on the stair banister. Watching it with beady eyes she slowly approached it to see who it could possibly have a letter for at this time. Calming the animal she slipped the message from its legs and watched it soar off into the horizon, once it had gone and she could no longer see it in the distance, she turned her gaze to the message.

"Professor Snape."

It read, McGonagall stared at it a moment longer before coming up with a plan, "Dobby," She called into the silence air, she didn't have to wait long before a loud pop sounded in front of her and the most trusted house elf stood bowing to her in the middle of the entrance hall. Casting a look around she said in a hush voice, "I want you to deliver this while I follow," She told him handing over the clean message. Dobby took it gingerly and read the name on the front. Gulp.

"Yes Ma'am." And he was off, the professor following him somehow.


McGonagall stood in the shadows of a near statue watching the retreating figure of the headmaster, a frown on her face. She had no idea what had caused him to look flustered of what was on that note but heaven forbid was she going to let this one slide. She was going to read that note

By now, the corridor was deserted and the Professor moved from her spot, still in thought and walked in the opposite direction. Plans already forming in her mind.

narnia_potter 10-12-2011 10:35 PM

Oooooohhhhh, I can't wait to see what happens! Looks exciting, and I sure hope McGonagall doesn't get hurt.
Great job!
-Rachel

Buggy-Boo 10-12-2011 10:39 PM

This chapter confuses me some what!!! I'm hoping the next clears it all up!!! I want to know what Minerva is planning :) :) :D :D

bonnieginnyfan1 10-12-2011 10:56 PM

Very interesting chappie! Your chappie's are always so detailed! <3

♥Stef♥

Connie 10-13-2011 04:24 AM

Hey Eviee, I'm happy you have this new chapter for us. I enjoyed it and I'm really worried about McGonagall. I hope she doesn't get caught. You brought up a thought I've always wondered about. I wondered if there might be secret meetings with the loyal professors. Not big meetings, but encouragement meetings to keep them there and help the students, and also I bet they wasn't allowed to leave anyway. I bet they would have been saught after and done away with if they left. Oh yeah, I'm also curious who wrote the note. Guess I'll have to wait and see. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Mordanyes 10-13-2011 05:25 AM

T'was an awesome chapter! :x3:

WitchLight27 10-13-2011 06:28 AM

Well, I'm definitely coming back to figure out what happens next. :D That was an awesome chapter Eviee! :loved:

PAMS! :)

Droo 10-13-2011 05:51 PM

Very nice! Keep posting!

LillyJames 10-13-2011 09:49 PM

It is great!

Yay for the teachers, being brave and protecting the students...

The note has me flustered as well, is it a trap?!

Anyway, PAMS

Magical Soul 10-24-2011 12:48 AM

EVIE! :tackle:

You know I enjoy your writing so much and I love this particular fanfic for the sake of ol' snape. :loved:

Ladybug 10-26-2011 08:52 PM

I'm So Sorry For The Wait On This Chapter. Its So Short :'(


SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by narnia_potter (Post 10707914)
Oooooohhhhh, I can't wait to see what happens! Looks exciting, and I sure hope McGonagall doesn't get hurt.
Great job!
-Rachel

I'll try and keep our precious McGonagall safe (: I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you like this chapter just as much. :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stethoscope12 (Post 10707925)
This chapter confuses me some what!!! I'm hoping the next clears it all up!!! I want to know what Minerva is planning :) :) :D :D

Alyssa :loved: I'm sorry to confuse you! but sadly this next chapter wont clear up your confusion. I guess I'll have to see what new devious plan the cunning Professor may come up with :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10707966)
Very interesting chappie! Your chappie's are always so detailed! <3

♥Stef♥

:loved: Thanks for reading Stef and thank you for the comment! I hope you love the upcoming chapters just as much as the past ones.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10708492)
Hey Eviee, I'm happy you have this new chapter for us. I enjoyed it and I'm really worried about McGonagall. I hope she doesn't get caught. You brought up a thought I've always wondered about. I wondered if there might be secret meetings with the loyal professors. Not big meetings, but encouragement meetings to keep them there and help the students, and also I bet they wasn't allowed to leave anyway. I bet they would have been saught after and done away with if they left. Oh yeah, I'm also curious who wrote the note. Guess I'll have to wait and see. I'll be watching for your next. :glomp:

Connie, I always love reading your detailed comments :loved: I'm sure McGonagall will be fine, just as long as she treads carefully. And did I? I personally have never had that thought before but it came to me as I was writing, guess great minds think alike (: Yeah I did however always wonder why the Professor's never left or rose up against the Carrows and the headmaster. Hmm may have to look into that.

Yeah the writer of the note comes into the next chapter with Snape not this one below

Thank You for reading again. :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10708534)
T'was an awesome chapter! :x3:

Thank You! <33 hope you like the next one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WitchLight27 (Post 10708604)
Well, I'm definitely coming back to figure out what happens next. :D That was an awesome chapter Eviee! :loved:

PAMS! :)

Thank You! I so glad you liked the chapter and I look forward to any future comment! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Droo (Post 10709365)
Very nice! Keep posting!

Thank You! :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyJames (Post 10709864)
It is great!

Yay for the teachers, being brave and protecting the students...

The note has me flustered as well, is it a trap?!

Anyway, PAMS

I do love the Professors a lot! So brave I say! *nods*
Hmm, a trap? maybe... :shifty:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magical Soul (Post 10728578)
EVIE! :tackle:

You know I enjoy your writing so much and I love this particular fanfic for the sake of ol' snape. :loved:

LAILA! :loved:

Your here! *dances* Thank You for reading! I hope you love the rest of the chapters! :glomp:



Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


The young girl extended her hand until the cold water was folded over it in a wave. She didn't mind the cold, once upon a time she would have but not anymore. The sky was clear today unlike some of the past few days and she was glad. The rain annoyed her. Taking her hand from the water she stood, wiping the wet hand against her blue jeans. The scene around her was pretty basic considering where she was.

By her feet sat the fast flowing river, she watched as the water fought over the rocks and carried on. All around her stood trees, thick and close together casting a scary shadow amongst them. In those trees sat her camp or what was her camp. She didn't carry very much in her bag.

The young girl no longer went to any villages for fear of meeting him again. He was everywhere, her friend, her old friend. The thought of him brought tears to her eyes and she tried to push it away. He was in her dreams amongst all the others that were important to her. 'It does not do to dwell on dreams' a dear friend had once told her to that is what she did.

A rustling sound to her left made her girl whip round with urgency. Not far from where she stood a deer searched the forest floor for food ignoring her. As she continued to watch it lifted its head to stare, drinking her in before slowly trotting towards her without a fear in the world. As it neared the young girl took in its appearance, young like her with a white streak going the length of one side of it's face. Stopping, the deer looked into her eyes before turning to drink from the river.

Breathing slightly she extended her hand to stroke the fur on top of its back but before she could make contact the deer jolted away from her and stopped at the edge of the trees where it waited for her. With a slight pause she grabbed her bag from the dirt ground and followed the deer as it led her away from the fast flowing water.

The world got darker around her the further the deer led her into the woods, after a while she found it harder to see. A twig snapped to her right and she snapped her head that way in search for something that wasn't there. The young animal did not stop. Breathing deeply to swallow her fear she turned her head forward to see the young deer further ahead then she thought. With a bolt she raced after it kicking up mud and breaking twigs as she went.

She was led further and further in, the trees grew closer and closer - more closer then they first were - together shooting a looming shadow over the world below. She dared not speak in case she alerted any close animals instead she followed the young animal into the unknown.

Connie 10-26-2011 09:34 PM

Hey Eviee, this is very ominous! I keep trying to figure out who the young girl is and keep coming up with different possibilities. It kind of feels like one of those realistic dreams you have that's very intense and seems so real and just when something bad is about to happen you wake up breathing hard and clinging to your pillow. I hate having dreams like that. Anyway, I'm glad you gave us this bit to read, and I'll be looking for your next. Good work Eviee :glomp:

narnia_potter 10-27-2011 12:30 AM

This is wonderful Evie!! I am absolutely lost on who the girl is though! And it is bugging me, though I do have a couple of guesses, but I'm not sure if either are right. Hmmph. :lol: Do we ever find out who she is?
And I can't wait to find out who is behind the note to Snape!
-Rachel :)

Mordanyes 10-27-2011 08:10 AM

That was a really great chapter ^_^ The description you use and just your way of words in your writing is simply amazing :loved:

sangreal167 10-27-2011 08:38 AM

awesome!!

bonnieginnyfan1 10-27-2011 10:55 AM

Awesome work Eviee! Your writing is incredible. ^_^ Always take your time! We can always wait! <3

♥Stef♥

Droo 10-27-2011 03:16 PM

Short but good! Thanks for the update!

Buggy-Boo 11-10-2011 02:35 PM

Evvie :glomp: I'm always so far behind compared to everyone else!! But it was very good, and you're keeping me guessing on who this young girl is!!!! ahhh!!! Love it!

Ladybug 11-10-2011 07:50 PM

A/N: The women who Lord Voldemort caught a few chapters ago. You will find out her fate this chapter. Also I've tried to follow the last book but not write any chapters that have happened in the book if this makes sense an less I can't help it. I don't want to copyright J.K Rowling's work from her book and I don't want to re-write her wonderful work. If this makes sense. This is one of the times where it's unavoidable.

SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie (Post 10733309)
Hey Eviee, this is very ominous! I keep trying to figure out who the young girl is and keep coming up with different possibilities. It kind of feels like one of those realistic dreams you have that's very intense and seems so real and just when something bad is about to happen you wake up breathing hard and clinging to your pillow. I hate having dreams like that. Anyway, I'm glad you gave us this bit to read, and I'll be looking for your next. Good work Eviee :glomp:

Connie :loved:

I would love to hear these possibilities. I would but sadly for the story to work you wont find out her name till the end. :whistle: Really? I never thought of it that way. I do agree that I don't like those dreams, sometimes I dream and feel very claustrophobic in them. Weird.

Thank You for reading :glomp: Here's the next chapter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by narnia_potter (Post 10733617)
This is wonderful Evie!! I am absolutely lost on who the girl is though! And it is bugging me, though I do have a couple of guesses, but I'm not sure if either are right. Hmmph. :lol: Do we ever find out who she is?
And I can't wait to find out who is behind the note to Snape!
-Rachel :)

Rachel :loved:

Do tell (: I'm glad you really liked the chapter. I was disappointed it was short but I think this chapter will make up for it. And as to your question yes you do find out who the girl is at the end :D I like keeping up on edge.

As of who wrote the note, coming up soon. not this chapter. Completely forgot about the note :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordanyes (Post 10734245)
That was a really great chapter ^_^ The description you use and just your way of words in your writing is simply amazing :loved:

Thank You :loved: I'm glad you like it! (: Here's the next chapter! :glomp:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sangreal167 (Post 10734276)
awesome!!

Thank You! :loved:

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10734332)
Awesome work Eviee! Your writing is incredible. ^_^ Always take your time! We can always wait! <3

♥Stef♥

Stef :loved:

Thank You! I'm so glad to see your reply. And here's the next chapter. <3333
:glomp: :glomp: Don't miss the dedication that is owned to you *points to picture on every chapter*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Droo (Post 10734573)
Short but good! Thanks for the update!

Sorry for the shortness. I hand write all my chapters and this was like 2 and a half pages on paper. I hope this next chapter is longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stethoscope12 (Post 10758656)
Evvie :glomp: I'm always so far behind compared to everyone else!! But it was very good, and you're keeping me guessing on who this young girl is!!!! ahhh!!! Love it!

Alyssa :loved:

It's alright, I do look forward to reading your comments though! Take your time. Haha. That is the point, it's so fun! :D


Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


She looked around the room slowly trying to look at anything but the bloody battered women who was currently floating in the air. Narcissa was close enough to see the tears falling from the women's eyes and falling into her greasy hair where she was hanging upside down. Narcissa didn't like the sight before her which was why she was trying to find something to take her mind of it but her eyes couldn't help to be drawn towards her. Beside her sat her only son, white as a sheet she noted, who was taking a huge interest in his lap. She couldn't blame him he was far to young to be here and if she had her way he wouldn't. Or even her for that matter, she didn't want to be here she'd had enough. She'd been a Death Eater since way before Draco was born, she remembered when he was born she'd been afraid of the world he was going to grow up in and the destruction her and the rest of the them were inflicting to the world around them.

Over the years she had grown tired of all the killing and murder and she had had many thoughts of walking away from it all but she knew that was out of the question. No one turned their back from the Lord Voldemort and lived to tell the tale. Narcissa averted her eyes and peeked up at the Dark Lord who sat frozen in his chair stroking that snake of his. Shivering a little of fear she turned her eyes to the wooden table before her.

They were waiting for someone, Snape, and she was starting to lost her patience a little but she trained herself to show no emotion. The silence drew on and on until the sound of pounding feet on the floor broke it. Within seconds Snape rounded the corner into the room and stopped. Narcissa breathed out in relief as she took the sight of him in as her took the seat next to the Dark Lord as invited. Snape's eyes fell on the sight of the Hogwarts Professor who also perked up at the sight of him.

"Severus..." She crocked out trying to get as much air in her lungs from her position. He said nothing just stared. Narcissa lifted her head to look at the end of the table where the Dark Lord and Severus Snape sat.

"Severus, News?" The Dark Lord said calmly looking at one of his most loyal followers. Snape jumped into a full report on Harry Potter who she didn't like anymore than anyone else around the table. Narcissa listened closely as the conversation moved to the topic about moving of Harry Potter but then the topic moved course to the women hanging in the air. She moved her eyes back to the women and stared at her without blinking. The tears were still falling from her eyes as stared at her only hope.

"Severus, Please..." She whispered ignoring what the Dark Lord was saying, her eyes only on Snape. Narcissa noticed the tears fell more heavy and thick now, and faster to gather in her hair still. Snape said nothing for a moment before looking down. The prisoner took that as a message and began to cry harder knowing the was was near to her.

Narcissa watched at the Dark Lord stood from his chair and made his way down the table with slow measured steps. He soon stopped next to Draco and she sucked in a breath. She knew this moment was coming for a while, she just wished it would end differently.

"Draco, Kill her" The Dark Lord ordered. No, no, no, she thought with horor. Narcissa stole a quick look at her husband who sat there staring right ahead with a stony face. He showed no indication of having heard their master, next she turned to her son who's face housed a look of horror as he looked at the wand which was held out to him. She could see he was shaking and she cursed her husband into the next century for letting this happen, for not speaking up for their son. Thankfully the Professor chose that moment to speak up.

"Severus please...remember me?...your friend...help me" Everyone turned in her direction and the Dark Lord snatched the wand away to point it at her clearly annoyed at having to do all this himself. Draco breathed but didn't look up. Narcissa had though as was transfixed by the women's crys for help and courage to speak up even if frightened. She heard the spell and saw the flash of light bright and clearly strike the women clear in the chest. The first spell broke and she tumbled to the table, no one spoke. Draco took that moment to look up and felt like throwing up. Lord Voldemort took his seat at the end of the table once more and brought his snake close.

"Dinner Nagini" He told her with a smile on his face. He let the snake go and everyone on the table drew back. Narcissa watched the snake slither across the table towards it's intended victim.

bonnieginnyfan1 11-10-2011 08:44 PM

...

That was breathtaking! :faint: I can't believe who it was! You've put a good twist around the story, Eviee! :glomp:


♥Stef♥

sangreal167 11-11-2011 03:32 PM

It's aweesome!Great actually...

Congrats Eviee! You've done it again..

narnia_potter 11-11-2011 11:04 PM

Brilliant job! And I would tell you my guesses on who the woman/girl is in the previous chapter, but I forgot. :lol: It's been a loooong, stressful week, and my brain is now on break, so I do not remember whatsoever. This was a great chapter! Poor Narcissa, she really does not deserve to be in this position. I'd want out to if I were her too. Great job! :D
-Rachel :)

Droo 11-12-2011 12:59 PM

Wow! Very good chapter!

Ladybug 12-04-2011 02:44 PM

SPOILER!!: Replies
Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieginnyfan1 (Post 10758918)
...

That was breathtaking! :faint: I can't believe who it was! You've put a good twist around the story, Eviee! :glomp:


♥Stef♥

Thank You Stef! :loved: I'm so glad you liked the chapter and I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much (:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sangreal167 (Post 10759613)
It's aweesome!Great actually...

Congrats Eviee! You've done it again..

Thank You! I'm so glad you liked the chapter and as I said to Stef I hope you like this one also! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by narnia_potter (Post 10760141)
Brilliant job! And I would tell you my guesses on who the woman/girl is in the previous chapter, but I forgot. :lol: It's been a loooong, stressful week, and my brain is now on break, so I do not remember whatsoever. This was a great chapter! Poor Narcissa, she really does not deserve to be in this position. I'd want out to if I were her too. Great job! :D
-Rachel :)

:lol: You forgot? That did bring a chuckle out of me. Tell me about it! I've been so busy that I've only just got round to writing this chapter! I'm glad you liked the chapter and I agree Narcissa doesn't deserve being in that position, I think by this time she just wanted out as you said :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Droo (Post 10760979)
Wow! Very good chapter!

Thank You I'm glad you like. Here's the next one



Dedicated to my three close friends; Laila, Maura and Stef
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/x...brokenwing.jpg
Created; Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop


The meeting ended not long after that and all the Death eaters filed out one by one, all talking in hushed tones. Snape was one of the last to leave having stood back to let the rest file out first. As he stepped into the equally dark entrance hall he stopped to take in his surroundings. In the middle of the hall Lord Voldemort stood grinning, his snake resting around his shoulders. Before him stood Bellatrix who too wore an evil smile, they were both in a deep conversation. He only heard snatches of it from where he stood. Others around the room were also in their own conversations, only they kept a strong eye on their master out of fear. To the left of him Narcissa stood stoned face, not moving. Her hand was rested lightly on Draco's arm, her husband stood to the other side of her son in a kind of huddle saying nothing, watching, waiting for the Dark Lord to speak.

To his intermediate right, a shaking Wormtail stood biting his nails till there was nothing left to bite. Snape gave him a look of disgust as his eyes rested on the man for a moment, Snape blamed the man for the death of the only women he ever loved, so it should be. Snape pushed away the heart-breaking memories of Lily Potter and focused on the Dark Lord who finally nodded his head before turning on his feet and was gone. Bellatrix followed suit. Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief including himself and all started to leave one way or another.

Snape didn't bother to linger and with a nod towards Lucius he left on foot. He had much to do, he needed to speak to Dumbledore.

----------------


“It is done,” he said dully letting his office door slam shut behind him, he strolled quickly towards his desk and stopped short of the large portrait of Dumbledore.

“Good, be prepared Severus. The worse is yet to come...”

“No need to take me through one of your mind games, those are for the likes of Potter and his friends. I know what to do,”
Snape interrupted, the former headmaster nodded his head once.

“I wish you would call him by his given name. Harry,” Dumbledore tried but again Snape interrupted.

“I have no need for this, I must prepare.” He took his wand out of his robes and placed it on the desk as he took his seat. Dumbledore said no more and let his most trusted ally skim through his thoughts deeply.

What if it goes wrong? Snape asked himself as he rested his chin on his hands, he stared into space. His eyes on some books on the other side of the room yet not really seeing them. What if they do not move Potter on the correct date? No, they would be foolish not to. But what if they didn't? That would look back on his and his mission – So to say – would be on the rocks, the Dark Lord would not have trouble getting rid of him and the trust he had gained would fall instantly. He must make sure it happened to ensure faith in him is kept and he could fulfill his tasks.

Snape had no idea how long he sat there pondering over his thoughts but when he came to he noticed the early morning light on the horizon. With a yawn he gathered himself up and went to seek his bed, picking up his wand as he went.

--------------


Meanwhile, hours before the headmaster made his way back to the castle Professor McGonagall watched the last strays of the Professors she deeply trusted walk through her office door and take a space by the wall. Her office wasn't large enough to accommodate the amount of people it now held therefore it looked cluttered and she found it difficult to move. The last person to enter was Professor Slughorn who closed the door with a click at the nod of her head. She pointed her wand at the door and non-verbally cast a few spells at it to ensure they were not interrupted by unwanted visitors.

“What is the meaning of this Minerva?” Professor Flickwick squeaked from his spot on one of her chairs. All eyes were focused on her, all asking the same question, she breathed and spoke raising her voice so she was heard clearly.

“You are all here because I have asked you. We must protect the school and it's students at all costs,” She paused to look in all their faces one-by-one, “You all have got the memo from our dear headmaster regarding punishments and detentions. We are to hand misbehaving students over to the Carrows and let them deal with their punishments...” She was interrupted by cries and shouts, curses and rude words that should not be repeated. Minerva listened for a moment before holding up her hand for silence. “That is why we must act and protect the students of this school” She stopped to cries of agreement.

“But what are we to do? We cannot go up against the Death Eaters, not just us teachers and with the students around,” Madam Pomfrey piped up, she looked young and dazzling in her ever white uniform even if she was getting on in her years Minerva thought as she responded, “This is what we will do...” For the next half an hour Professor McGonagall spoke to them all, laying out her plan and listening to each and everyone cry their own idea to the room. At the end of the half hour she felt exhausted all of a sudden.

“It is agreed, we will start tomorrow,” she said then looking at everyone in the room, they nodded. With a smile she silently lifted the spells from her office door saying, “Until then, farewell and goodnight.” Everyone filed out slowly, one or two stopped to quietly ask her about a detail, quiet so that no one would hear them. Finally, they were all gone and the Professor settled in her seat to think, feeling as if she could sleep for days.

Magical Soul 12-04-2011 02:58 PM

I luff it!! :x3:

You know how much amusing I find this story, Evie. <3

narnia_potter 12-04-2011 10:35 PM

Wonderful post Eviee!
Poor Snape; it has to be awful seeing Wormtail all the time. And it has to be hard knowing that if the Order doesn't do exactly what they originally planned, his life is over. I can't wait to find out what McGonagall is planning!
-Rachel :)

Mordanyes 12-05-2011 04:26 AM

Amazingly awesome chapter! :D I really can't wait for an update now :x3:

Connie 12-05-2011 05:43 AM

Hey Eviee, I have to hand it to you;
Quote:

I don't want to copyright J.K Rowling's work from her book and I don't want to re-write her wonderful work. If this makes sense. This is one of the times where it's unavoidable
I think you did a spectacular job writing this scene. It was very good the way you made it Narcissa's thoughts and worries.
This is a very powerful bit.
Quote:

Beside her sat her only song, white as a sheet she noted, who was taking a huge interest in his lap. She couldn't blame him he was far to young to be here and if she had her way he wouldn't. Or even her for that matter, she didn't want to be here she'd had enough. She'd been a Death Eater since way before Draco was born, she remembered when he was born she'd been afraid of the world he was going to grow up in and the destruction her and the rest of the them were inflicting to the world around them.
You let us see her as herself, not as Lucius's obedient wife, but as a mother and someone who is aware of her doings and the consequences of them.

Your next post is even better than the last one. How can that be; it was so good!
I loved this!
Quote:

To the left of him Narcissa stood stoned face, not moving. Her hand was rested lightly on Draco's arm, her husband stood to the other side of her son in a kind of huddle saying nothing, watching, waiting for the Dark Lord to speak.
I'm sure Draco wouldn't have been able to get through this ordeal if not for the love of his mother.
Quote:

To his intermediate right, a shaking Wormtail stood biting his nails till there was nothing left to bite. Snape gave him a look of disgust as his eyes rested on the man for a moment,
Snape is right the way he feels about Wormtail, he turns my stomach too! Arrgg! When I read this sentence I remembered seeing those horrid fingernails in the movies. AWFUL! And he was biting them! Anyway, moving on...This bit was extremely well written! I feel like I was there making the room even more cramped!
Quote:

Meanwhile, hours before the headmaster made his way back to the castle Professor McGonagall watched the last strays of the Professors she deeply trusted walk through her office door and take a space by the wall. Her office wasn't large enough to accommodate the amount of people it now held therefore it looked cluttered and she found it difficult to move. The last person to enter was Professor Slughorn who closed the door with a click at the nod of her head. She pointed her wand at the door and non-verbally cast a few spells at it to ensure they were not interrupted by unwanted visitors.
These two posts give us much insight to what was going on at Hogwarts while the trio was out searching for the Horcruxes. great writing Eviee, I'll be watching for your next. I hope you do well on your exams. :glomp:


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