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05-24-2005, 03:46 PM
| | |  The Harry Potter Parody Challenge - July 4 - Sa9+
The Harry Potter Parody Challenge
Write an essay or short story parodying Harry Potter. Be funny within the boundaries of Snitchseeker's Site Rules. All entries must have a unique title, be no longer than 300 words, and be prose, in grammatically correct english. _____________________________________________ Only submissions are allowed in this topic. Discussion or comments are to be posted in the Writers' Week Discussion Thread. Questions about this challenge may be posted in the Writers' Week Guidelines Thread. This thread will open at 8am Mountain Time on July 4th and be closed 24 hours after opening. There will be no extensions. Voting will begin as soon as it's closed, and last 24 hours. Choose your favorite parody based on quality of writing, content and humor. | |
07-05-2005, 12:24 AM
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#2 (permalink)
|  Official -()- SeekerMooncalf
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: It's raining ducks man!!! Play Duck Duck Dare...
Posts: 7,720
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The Tricky Truckload of Tricks
Harry Potter Was In The Common Room And Hermione Saw That Harry Had Chocolate on His Shirt so Hermione went to go clean it but got caught in the carpet and everyone laughed.Hermione then turned really sunburned then she exploded into blisters. Harry saw the chocolate and then used a napkin to bad it was black ink. Ron walked in then turned into a whale and blew water at Hermione & Harry. Seamus went into his room then turned into a goblet and Neville forgot the password again and told the portrait off.The whole thing was Draco's Fault because he put a hinx on Gryffindor common room too bad for him that Harry turned Malfoy into a Ferret.
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07-05-2005, 12:41 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Red Cap
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 88
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Confessions of a Loathsome Potions Master
*Or*, How to Get the Students to Hate You
*Or* Why Snape Is the Way He Is
Ah, yes, I know the students hate me—I strike fear into their very souls. Its something I’ve worked hard at.
You see, when I first started teaching at Hogwarts, the students thought I was laughable, and they did not respect me in the slightest. Well, that wasn’t good enough for the great Severus Snape! It was time to get mean.
How to Inspire Fear into Those Worthless Students:
10. Walk around looking constantly like an overgrown bat. Be sure your robes are fluttering about behind you.
9. Sneer when anyone speaks to you. Makes you hard to read.
8. Make ruthless comments that will shred students apart. Its best if you can leave them in tears. Good for self-esteem. Yours of course, not the students’….
7. Favor the Slytherins. Let the other students know that only evil will be tolerated. And only by Slytherins.
6. Threaten imbeciles with dire punishments for not brewing Potions correctly, when you know they won’t be able to do it in a million, trillion years.
5. Ignore know-it-alls and only ask questions of those students who have no idea of the answer.
4. Grade papers as harshly as possible, and be sure to put mean and sarcastic comments about the students’ writing in large handwriting with a dark, red pen.
3. Hand the papers back face up, so the Slytherins can see the terrible grades of other students.
2. Wear black. Always. Its slimming, too, you know.
1. Let the students think you detest your job by applying for the DADA position every year.
A/N: Well, I’m not a very funny person…. but I tried.  Hope you enjoyed.
Oh, and I couldn't quite decide on a title, so I just put them all up there lol
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07-05-2005, 06:21 AM
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#4 (permalink)
|  Official -()- SeekerMurtlap
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Hades
Posts: 54
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Winning Entry!
Dolores Umbridge is the Half-Blood Prince
“Well, Harry,” said the famous J.K. Rowling, “I really don’t think you’re eligible.”
Harry scowled. He knew it. He wasn't good-looking enough.
“A sound idea, Rowling,” agreed Snape, leering at Harry’s disappointment . “I’m sure we don’t want Potter’s head larger than it is, or we’ll soon need the Elves carrying it around for him.”
Harry threw Snape a dirty look.
“How about Dumbledore, then?” Hermione suggested. “I’m sure he wouldn’t abuse the position.”
Jo looked at Dumbledore hopefully, but the headmaster shook his head. “I’m afraid I’m rather too old, Ms Rowling. You’ll want someone more likely to survive to the end. I suggest… ”
But no one heard who Dumbledore would suggest because at that moment an unexpected sound floated over their heads.
“Hem-hem.”
Ron jumped and Hermione squealed. Jo stood very quickly in surprise and tried to hide it by extending her hand.
“D-Dolores!”
“Why hello, Ms Rowling,” cooed Dolores Umbridge, toadish as ever. “What’s this I hear about the Half-Blood Prince?”
“We…..er…..uh…..”
“Of course I would love to aid you!” Umbridge offered in that sickeningly sweet voice. “I would be more than happy to be the Half-blood Prince!”
Dumbledore choked. Snape began to twitch at the nostrils.
Jo blinked. “I…..well…..well, alright , Dolores.” Jo shrugged in defeat. “I’m sure everyone will be…..well…..you know.”
“Oh, yes yes,” Umbridged smiled, setting her wide bottom at the seat reserved for the Prince. “And, of course, I’ll willingly receive any gifts of goodwill.”
Harry mouth fell open in amazement. How could Jo think Umbridge would make a better Prince than he, Harry? Apparently, Ron was disgusted too, for he suddenly picked his nose furiously and flicked the small green ball at Umbridge.
“Enjoy your gift,” Ron spat and, followed by the others, stomped out of the room.
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Last edited by evlpez; 07-06-2005 at 02:43 PM.
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07-05-2005, 02:33 PM
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#5 (permalink)
|  Potterwatch! Momma Chizpurfle
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Yarn Shop
Posts: 10,253
| Viva Buymoria! Love you Twin!
This challenge is closed to new submissions. Please vote for your favorite submission.
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07-06-2005, 02:46 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| Potterwatch! Momma Chizpurfle
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Yarn Shop
Posts: 10,253
| Viva Buymoria! Love you Twin!
Congratulations to Iphigeneia! Her submission, Dolores Umbridge is the Half-Blood Prince won the most votes for the members' favorite parody, making her a three-time winner! Iphigeneia earns another winners' icon!
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