The Darkest Corners of my Mind
 

Our Speacial Spot

When I came home that day
I found you waiting with a rose,
your red rose that you held in your
hand made me feel better again.
I never would have guessed the nature
of the rose, but now I do that much is known.

I waited for you in our speacial spot,
the place were we met and played.
I gazed over the landscape of the
green grass. The moonlight was resinating
off of the ponds clear water. Your eyes always
looked good in the moonlight, your eyes make
me weap when I think of you and our speacial place.

When you came to me you were a light,
the light that lit my dark tunnel of death and sorrow.
Now your gone. Oh, how foolish of me to think that your god wouldn't exstinguish you. I have waited here for you for to many years to count
not moving from this spot hoping you will return and all will be fine. I'm sorry for what I said to you before your light dissapeared.

I miss you more than words can explain,
You were the one and only light at the end of the tunnel.
I am now left here in darkness, the darkness that now
consumes me and my mind. The walls around are constricting me
scratch and claw I do, but nothing happens.
I sit down in the middle of the darkness and look back at our
speacial spot where your light shined bright.

Floating Past


Falling down faster and faster,
reliving horible memories of the past.
Watching in regret of all the things I
didn't do, or didn't get right.
Afriad of the future and afriad
to live, afraid to die and afraid
to laugh.

Their watching me with prying eyes
I don't know when to think or when to act
the darkness they left me in, surrounds me
like a shroud. I float high into the sky into the
dark abyss of space, the stars of your lives shine bright.
My star is dark and scared to fly with the others.

I watch as they all fly towards the earth while
mine stays in it's spot, I watch the stars rain and shoot
past me and I don't know what to say.
I pretend I do when really I don't.
The stars abandon me, I watch as
thousands of years pass in slow motion
Planets being born and destroyed by
emotion and fear of man with doubt.
Floating by the sun
I Stare as I am the last.

Chained

Chained to these walls called society
I weap. Never knowing what it would be
like to be my own person, to not live in fear
of judgment. I scream for the sun that
I wish was over my head and to see the moon
which should be under my feat. My soul was
stolen and I watch as it dies silently, if I had
been myself and maybe not this man that I am,
my soul would be free and would float in the clouds again.
For I am no man, I have become somthing else, somthing
chained to a four cornered dark room called my mind.

Refuse

I refuse to be just another face in
the crowd, I refuse to be chained, I refuse
to let my love for this place die.
I refuse to be someone I'm not and refuse to let
them control me as a robot they can toss
in a trash can and forget about.

I refuse to be called something I'm not
and refuse to be them. I am somthing better,
I am me. I forget sometimes, but then I remember.
Standing outside underneathe the stars I look up
and wonder why I'm here, it isn't quite clear. But
now I see, the stars get angry when I stare at them
and I wonder why. Is it because I'm different and their all the same?


Apart of Me

These four corners that darken my mind are closing in on me faster and faster.
I don't know how to stop it, or even how it began.
I loved to see, so you plucked out my eyes and threw
them in the trash full of your forgotten dreams.
I loved you with my heart, so you ate it for dinner.
I cherished you with my soul, so you fed it to the dogs.
Your nothing but a fallen star who hates the world around you.
The dark abyss of space is where you want to be,
living lies and deceiving yourself. I don't know why you
want to go back up there with them, maybe so you
can look down upon people and laugh at their flaws.
I don't know what is going on in your head but I do
know that your apart of my past and soul, and I refuse
to love you again.

Nothing

Nothingness upon nothingness
that's what my heart is made of.
I push and shove, and you push harder.
My soul is bleeding out the thruth,
and it's dieing in vein. I watch myself drown,
I try to pull up but you keep me there under the water.
I hear her call my name in the middle of the four cornered room
in the center of the darkness,
I can't see her but I know she's there.
I scream out her name but she never comes.

I close my eyes and try to see
my soul and see nothing.
Nothing as in the nothingness
that has consumed my life for a while
now. I didn't get the memo
to the rules of life until
it was to late.

The stars are laughing at me as
I search for the thruth.
The stars don't know what it's
like to feel. All they know is beauty
and how to shine brighter than everyone
else. When really they hurt inside.
More then I myself hurt.
I confront my demons they
let there's run wild instead controling them.
The stars do not realize, beauty
comes from within.

Almost Out

I sit in my dark room and
stare at the wall again. The first
corner is fear, the second is sorrow,
the third is doubt, and the fourth is
dispair. I look over the memories we used
to share, my soul was lit with a candle
and my room was an island. Now I am
stuck in this room of fear, sorrow, doubt
and dispair. I sit and stair at these corners again.

I wait and wait for a door to open
to a stair way into to the clouds.
I walk through the door and up the staircase into
outerspace. It was a trap, I'm stuck here again.
The stars are laughing at me again. The stars fly by
to the green and blue earth. I watch as it is destroyed again.
A trap door opens beneathe my feat and I am back in the room of fear sorrow doubt and dispair.

My soul was caught in the fishing net.
How could I be so dumb. The stars decieved me.
The shame of it all is horrid to horrid to think about.
So i'll just sit here and wait for my turn to escape.

Silence looms over me

I walk up these stairs again,
they take me to a different place,
not outer space. I look around the room,
it's dark. Almost as dark as mine. But this is
alot bigger. I watch her walk towards me, she's saying
somthing. Somthing I can't understand.
I look around and I try to speak but she can't hear me.

We try to talk but she's scared, I can see it
by the way her eyes leak. The silence looms over us as we weap.
Setting my cold heart free. The silence that looms is
jealous that we can love and think,
So he takes our voices away. This is her dark palce,
I never would have known that her soul was deep.

I watch as her room gets smaller,
she looks around in fear and I cry.
Her pain is my pain and togeather we face the end.
The silence muffles our crys as I am taken away by the
stars of deceit.

Rubber Walls

I sit and stare again, this
is all I have to do, I never would have guessed.
I thought her soul was free.
Why wouldn't she come to me?
Her voice I thought was my mind playing tricks.
I didn't know she was trapped.

She's scared, as I am. I thought
I was the only one. Silence is still looming
over me. I wouldn't know if she was screaming again.
She the only one I have, the only one who
made me feel happy, if this is so, why is she here?
Her heart was great, and her soul was deep and
her mind was weak. She's trapped as I am,
waiting for the stairs into the clouds to decend.

Why did those stairs take me to her?
I can't control these feelings I have. I stand
and shout and rant but nthing comes out.
I hit and punch these four cornered
walls but they are as rubber, I
bounce back. I'm sick of being trapped
here. I'm sick of knowing that she's trapped in this
place as well. Why won't the stairs appear?

Forever together

Trapped here in darkness, always
afraid of the dark. Stars were the beginning
they'll probably be the end.
It isn't how you start your life it's how
you finish it. To know you had a great life
is to look back and smile
at the light you possesed.
I am sorry to say that I
Won't be able to do that.

Darkness is my beginning and my end.
Not a laugh or even a glint of
happiness here. Only
darkness and silence that looms
overhead. Muffling my screams through
the night and day. I accend the stairway,
I know it is a trap, to stare out at them with my love.
I cannot not hear her but I can feel her.

I watch them destroy the planet that is me,
I watch as it explodes and washes me away.
Stuck here in this spot for thousands of years in
slow motion is better with my love then not having
her at all. So, here I am staring at the darkest
four corners of my mind, once in fear. Hand in hand, my
love is with me again. My story was full sorrow, doubt and dispair.
But she found me now togeather with the light we posses we stand and weap and laugh togeather. I stand on my island and cry that I am alive.

This is the end of my story, I like to create a story through my soul which is poetry. This is one of my favorite poem storys that I created. It's about a lost soul, he's afraid to move on for the horrible things he did when he was alive. The "Stars" Are the people who judge, he was once a star and is now just a soul. The girl was his best friend and wife, he died before she did and he has been looking for her, and he couldn't move on until he had her back. They moved on once they figured out that life goes on. Even after death.
Now it's time for another one. if your up to it, read on. Oh thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my stuff.

Thank you very much. I will write more once I have some inspiration, then I will begin again.

The Sparrow of Light

Jumping higher and higher,oh how
I want to fly, to soar above the clouds
as a sparrow of light. I'm still jumping,
I wouldn't dare stop now.
The people who surround me are watching.
Watching in awe and jealously.

I can't let them down, I'm trying
to fly but he's holding me down.
The footsteps I am to follow in are trampled over.
I can't do the right thing, because the right
thing is the only thing. I have to two options.
I can get down off of this high cliff of doubt over
looking the sea and jump in and swim with the
fishes who think and swim alike. Or I can fly high
with the sparrows of light. Be like the shark I am told,
eat them before they eat you.
When really I would sink to the bottom
into the dark abyss of the ocean.
I take a step back and jump, not knowing
the outcome of my actions.

Fly bird

I jump off a cliff called fear,
to soar through the clouds of
life, I was falling faster and faster
towards the ground, the ocean of
footsteps dissapeared. I'm falling out
of the sky out of my mind into the darkness of
sorrow. I weap as I fall, I cry because I'm scared.
I don't know why I did that, the footsteps were right.

I didn't make it through the air.
Success I almost had it, thinking as I free
fall to the ground. Until a sparrow blocked out
the sun and picked me up. Fly bird fly bird you'll
catch up, thier jelous that you can fly and they can't keep up.
Today is the day I save someone.

Maze of doubt

My light is the light that
you are to follow out of this maze of doubt.
Your better then the rest
so prove it, you can fly out so do it.
Your fear of man is getting to you
soon everyone will fear you.
Your going to get across that ocean that I
I call doubt. Doubt is your greatest fear.
It will be your greatest fall.

So get over it and live.
Live your life before it is over,
before your chained to a four
cornered room, called fear, sorrow
doubt and dispair. Your life isn't over
so go, and live! your mind should be weak,
your soul should be deep and your heart should be full.

But I only see wits and sarcasm,
all I see is doubt. You going to loose
your wings if you drop out.
So go, and get over your doubt.

Feathers of Greed

The fear of man drives you,
and the doubt consumes you.
Your feathers are falling out one by one.
Your loosing your grace in the sky. Your falling
towards the ground. I can't always be there to keep you up.

Your doubting yourself and your
making everyone else fear you.
Is this what you wanted, is greed
going to consume you?
I would rather the doubt rule you
then greed. When I gave you wings
I thought you would use them for good.
Now I see the error of my ways, and must
take them back if you don't control them.

Your Loosing your Wings

One wing is good and the other
is bad which one will you let fall out?
Your love for money is bad and your love
for grace is good. If you jump off a
building can you tell me you will stay up?
Your falling down again, should I catch you again?
I can't and won't let you fall.

Well, I saved you once again
and neither of your wings have come off.
You would have surprised me by getting rid
of your doubt if you hadn't cured it with greed.
Your buying everything in sight and you won't
give up. Why won't you give up? Your going
to fall sooner or later. I've been saving you for
years now and maybe it was a mistake.

I hate your ways and I hate your greed.
I hate you and your wings. Your greater then I,
I would be jelous if your soul wasn't gone and your
heart wasn't full of darkness
only your mind is left. I wish I hadn't given you those
wings maybe I should take them back.

My Wings

I took your wings and threw them
in the trash full of my fogotten dreams.
Then you took my wings when I slept, you
put them on your own back and flew harder
and better then you ever did.
I trusted you as a friend and you
took my earnings. I took you under my wing
and nursed you, I wish you were only a dream
and I want to foget you. You a fowl blue jay,
full of lies and deciet. Your colors make you
pretty but your guts are to small to see.

Your so ignorant when it comes to a soul
so greedy with a heart, So smart when it comes
to your mind. Your a hateful little bird and a harbringer
of doom. You were no friend when I needed you, but
I was there when you needed me, but now I am nothing
but a flightless drowning in an ocean full of doubt.

That's the end of this one. The moral of this is becareful of who you trust as a friend. Don't let greed consume you either. Don't let anyone bring you down either. Do what you want in life, don't follow the footsteps that somebody has already trampled on, fly through the sky of life. Becasue your wings are waiting to sprout.
Thank you for reading. If your wondering, I do like to be corny.

A Black Hole

A black hole stands where
your soul stood, it sucked it in and
your heart which was me. Your living a
lie letting your mind control you. Your soul was put
here for a reason, and you lost it.

I am sitting here waiting for you to
find it. Your heart and soul is trapped
in there, why won't you show it?

Everything is ok? Whatever.
Everything is better? Right.
Your not who I thought you were letting
the darkness drive you out. How
could you let it get so bad? Your only
a girl. Of course, your mad at me and the world
I wish you had left me be
all those years ago. Your never going
to get the point your black hole is getting bigger.
Sucking in your family and everyone you hold dear.
I'm the only one who held on to a street light not letting go.
I'm trying to help you but your only a mind. A mind that soaks
up knowledge not feelings or love. Your nothing but drama queen
and your making it all up!

You

You make me sad and you make me mad.
You make me hate you and love you more
then yesterday.
Why do you do this to me?
Can't you see I'm trying to help. I would jump
in there and pull your soul out if I could.
But I can't and I hate you becasue you won't
Do you see what you do to me? You make furious.
Not excepting help or love, your only child who needs love.

I don't know if your acting out
or if your just pretending.
Youwere my best then you went and destroyed that!
I'm writing this out of anger and I hate that.

Tears of sorrow
I miss you and your soul, your bright
heart made me think about everything we did.
Made me think about the fun we used to have.
You were the one who taught me everything I know.
The only one who was there for me when I tried to run away.
My darkness is great but yours is darker.
I wish I could have saved you from that tunnel
before the train of death hit you.
Your still alive but darker then ever.

Your making me mad just looking at you.
Your so stubborn and fake, I wish you would
just go away and stop pretending that everythings ok.
Tears of sorrow leak out of my eyes that I see you with,
your so horrible I never would have guessed.
You didn't act like this before, why must you presist on killing yourself?

Your standing on the cliff of
death that I had flew over.
Your wondering wether to jump
in or try to fly. My wings were stolen
so I can't save you if you fall.
Everytime I see you with these eyes I cry.

Pushing

Your jumping up and down
no body is watching so you
count down. If you jump into the
ocean you will drown. I know you want to fly
but did'nt listen. You ruined your life so take the
blame instead of blaming me.

Your brother is dumb and
mother is worse then you.
Your father kicked you out for a stupid
reason, I'm sorry I didn't pay attention.
Maybe if I had came to see you more you
would have been fine but now you your scared to jump in.
You don't know I'm watching and I doubt
that you would care. Your turning away
and backing down like I knew you would.
So I came up behind and pushed you down.

My hatred for you flows like the words
that I am thinking of. You make me sick and
I hate you for it. I jumped in after you and brought
you to the surface.

Passion of Hatred

You hate me for accusing you
and I hate you more. It's become a passion
I can't believe you did this,
now I would love to watch you soar.
The stars have corrupted you with their petty lies.
Your like the monster under my bed you scare me.
I have to have the light on to keep you away.

Your not the good example
your the worse warning. Why did you do this?
you stupid girl. Your living a life that of a pig.
Your making money in a disgraceful manner.

Your sport was soft ball now it's deceit
to fly with the stars is a treat.
Your soul is gone and your heart is wicked, your
family hates you and your lies neverending.
Your soul will be trapped someday probably
in a four cornered room of death.

You love death so much, you tried it.
I feel bad for you because your passion is wicked.

Music to my ears

You used to sing and it
was love that I heard. These memories
are faint but I still remember.
There were no bad times until the black hole
over took you.
Your soul is rotting in that black hole, and I
don't know what to do. Your a horrible person
and I don't know why but I still love you.
I hate it as well, I wish you were a robot that
I could toss in the trash full of my forgotten dreams.

Your passion is death and mine is
what I like to believe as light.
you were a great friend and I don't know what I did.
I now know it's not my fault, I won't forget
the day your soul came back it's full of poetry and song.
Your heart is not black anymore. Your mind has no control
it's your soul and your heart working as one.
Let's hope the black never comes.

This is one of my shorter ones. Yeah it is kind of dark but it is about my cousin she was...into some bad stuff and she came out of it clean. This is one of my favorites. The moral: Don't let a loved one down. All they need is to be picked up and given wings. So that they can fly high instead of being trapped.

Senses

The portal into my soul is small.
My soul is as wide as the ocean and as deep.
My heart is as big as my fist and my mind is as
fickle as it gets. I'm not a fast runner,
but I'm a high jumper.
My mind is worthless to me, it only
thinks and that weakness to me.

Thinking is a horrible burden, My soul
is my greatest asset and my heart is another.
My mind judges and thinks almost for it's self.
My soul and heart think as one, the end
isn't here and it won't be here tomorrow.
I'm stuck here in this place, as if tar covered my legs.

I get trapped in my mind and
quiver is this true? Why does
my mind think so quickly, believing everything it hears.
I will say this in it's defence it is quick to recover.
When i think with my soul I am free as you can read.
My eyes are apart of my soul, my nose is apart of my soul.
To see through you, to look into the depths of your darkened
soul. My nose takes it's time to memorize your sent.

The roses you smell like remind
me of home. My ears hear your sweet mellow voice.
My heart and soul I have conceived
believe in what they see hear and smell.

Who am I to believe my soul or mind?

I'm stuck here at the bottom
no sign of a search party
or anyone for that matter.
Not one soul insight I weap.
Is this what I have come to?
Have I amde everyone around me so
misserable that they would leave me here to rot?

I start to fall fastter and faster,
I dug this hole, and jumped in.
Why did I do this? Why didn't my soul think?
My mind was thinking for me
he knows I don't like him,
he knows that I despise him.
He knows that he is truley who I long to be.
I'm ahamed of the fact that a star accended
from the heavens above
to talk to me, someone who has barely even been
in the precence of one.
My heart his skipping and my soul is thinking
these words are spilling out of me like blood
rushing from a flesh wound.
When all is said and done, who am I?

Poe as in edgar allen poe? He's mine too. He's my hero. Oh, you may stand. lol j/k, thanks though. It means alot. I didn't think many people would like my stuff....

*stands* Of course Edgar Allen Poe! Lol, I don't know of many other Poes out there. Anyway, your very welcome, and I'm sure other people do like your writing, but it takes a complex person to understand the message of deep poetry, if you catch my meaning.

Want to know the thruth? I don't even know what I'm saying. What did I say? Oh yeah be yourself don't let anyone else think for you. In every single one that is my message. I can be greatly dark or very bright as a light. I have many sides to me. My soul is light but my heart is black. My mind is fickle. Honestly. My own praents don't get what I'm saying half the time. It does take a super deep person to get whatever it is I'm saying.

Lol, you sound a lot like someone I know *whos name will not be mentioned* but I'm lucky, hardly ever see my parents. Only live with one of them anyway.

hole of sorrow

I sitting here scratching
and clawing trying to get out.
I suppose it's better then
drowning in an ocean
called doubt.
My heart is aching
and my soul needs a pen.
My mind is controlling me and I feel
constricted. I miss my soul and I want it
back, oh how I wish my love would come back!

I longed to fly high through
the universe of life with the stars of lies.
Now I know it's my heart and soul that I am
longing for. My heart is aching from
the stab wound and my soul is black from the
darkness that over took it.

Why won't anyone rescue me
from this dark hole of sorrow?
Why should I be the one stuck
down here, the stars are more horrible
and darker then I. So why aren't they down here?
Or maybe they are just like me.