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| | Candy Display Case (Finished Fanfiction) A dazzling showcase of fully wrapped-up stories, these sweet treats are polished and ready for your reading pleasure! | 
06-27-2005, 04:29 AM
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#1 (permalink)
|  Secretly SlytherinFirecrab
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: through the looking
Posts: 787
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tegan
Seventh Year |  ~My Escape from Reality~
Hey, this is my attempt at poetry, I'm not the greatest but I figure it's a start anyway. I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me what you think because it'd be helpful in my future work. Here are a couple to start off...
~Tegan~
Unlatched
Forever I'm caught
In a world that I don't belong in.
I'm trapped like a bird in its cage,
Trying frantically to get out and fly away,
But always failing.
The latch has been turned,
Left slightly open,
There's still some hope,
If i push a little harder,
I may be able to escape.
A little more struggle,
And finally I'm free,
Flying like that bird that was once caught could not.
I feel so much better than ever before,
Because I know I matter.
I've flown to that spot
Where everyone understands.
I'm welcomed and thanked because I am needed.
I will never turn back,
To where I used to be.
The past matters no more.
My future is greatly enlightened,
As I dwell no longer on the past,
I know I will make it
Because I have made up my mind,
To succeed.
~*~
The Storm Within Me
Where days used to be filled with a golden light shining down on us and happy, laughing faces accompanied us everywhere,
darkness now falls.
Thunder crashes loudly, startling us in our wake, creating cries of fear form little ones huddling together.
Whispers of how everything is going to be fine echo throughout the night, calming them.
All of the people are inside, warm amon a mountain of pillows and blankets; comfort items.
I step outside; I feel soft rain drops fall down on my face, upturned toward the darkened sky.
Lightning streaks across the sky and hits a tree to my left. The tree cracks, now black and charred where the bolt struck its mighty force upon it.
The tree falls, crashing to the ground and suddenly, somehow, I hear soft excited laughiter.
It takes me awhile but I soon figure out that the laughter is coming from me. Bubbly, giddy excitement the storm within me creates.
~*~
That's all for now...tell me whatcha think...
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06-29-2005, 01:56 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Streeler
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 218
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i liked them, especially the first. they're really good
~bettina~
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06-30-2005, 03:32 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| Secretly Slytherin Firecrab
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: through the looking
Posts: 787
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tegan
Seventh Year |
Thank you!! Here are a couple more...
Climbing Up
Drifting,
Getting further and further away,
I reach out to pull myself up,
But find myself too far down.
Sunk.
In this huge hole, filled with darkness,
Struggling to get out,
With the fear that it's too late.
It isn't.
I see the light shining and catch it,
It warms me up,
And I climb.
Higher and higher,
Until I am free.
Mountain
We both fell down the mountain complete
But only one of us returned to the top whole.
I couldn't keep up and you wouldn't
Stop
So I tripped
And fell
Down
Down
Down
To the bottom again.
I cried
And you laughed
At me.
I was confused
And you scoffed
Not bothering to hid that you thought
I was stupid.
I yelled for you
Hoping you'd help me with
The tough stuff.
You ignored me.
I slipped
I saw your face.
Hopeful.
You hurt me
And then I stopped caring
For you.
We finally climbed to the top again
I was so proud.
You laughed at me again
So hard you slipped.
Now you're still trying to climb
Back up.
And I'm laughing. | |
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07-03-2005, 02:54 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Mooncalf
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: ♥reading
Posts: 6,604
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sophie Nesslage
Third Year | Keeper of Ginny's Cuteness ~ Flying Prefect ~ GOBBLE GOBBLE
Tean, I LOVE them! Much better than Mine. 
-Ali
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07-04-2005, 09:53 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| Secretly Slytherin Firecrab
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: through the looking
Posts: 787
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tegan
Seventh Year |
Thanks Allison! Here's one...it's one of my worst but it's different...I don't know if you can even really call it poetry, it's more like a short story...I dunno...anyway here it is...
Guardian Angel
I never believed in angels
Until I met you.
You confused me at first
I couldn’t tell
If you cared or not.
I couldn’t read
Any of your emotions.
You kept so well hid.
You saw me writing
One day in the park
And asked me what I was writing down.
I shrugged and just said, “Thoughts.”
You nodded and asked if you could see
I said no, I didn’t trust you yet.
You smiled a little and said maybe someday I would.
I didn’t know what you meant then.
A few days later I saw you again
You were drawing in your sketch book
I asked if I could see and you shrugged
I thought that meant yes so I looked over your shoulder and watched you draw.
I saw so much more of you in that drawing than you will ever know
I knew then that you were full of secrets
And a part of you was
Almost ready to shine out to all the world through your talent.
We met up a few times that week
And grew closer.
You told me about your drawings
And I began to trust you.
That summer was perfect.
You were always there
when I needed you most
And I tried to be there for you in return.
I’ll never forget the day your mom called my house.
She was crying and it scared me.
She said that there had been an accident
And you were in the hospital.
I went to the hospital to visit you
But the doctor wouldn’t let me in.
He said that you were unconscious
And seemed dead to the world.
Your mom talked him into letting me come in.
I was scared to see what you would look like at first
But after I saw you I wasn’t scared
You looked just like you always did
Except for one thing,
Your head was in a bandage and your eyes were open
And glassy.
I sat down by your bed and held your hand.
While I was sitting there the amazing happened.
Your eyes flickered and shut
Then opened again
And you spoke.
You told me that you had gone to another place
Somewhere wonderful
You told me that you had seen
Many new things to draw.
The doctor came in and said that I had to leave
He said that you needed to hear something by yourself
And it wasn’t any of my business.
You said I could stay but he said I had to leave
Along with your mother.
We stayed outside your room
Waiting to hear what had happened.
The worry on our shoulders was immense.
You called for me a few minutes later.
You were crying and I was scared to know why.
You told me that you had severed your spinal cord badly when a truck hit you
And that you were paralyzed from your chest down.
It was too much to handle at once.
You wanted a hug and I gave you one
We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity,
Each of us weeping our own tears.
When you got out of the hospital you were in a permanent chair.
You held anger in your heart towards the world
And I felt terrible each time I saw you.
How come I was the lucky one who could still walk with both legs?
You seemed helpless, you’d get angry and go too fast and bump into something
Or you’d just quit trying and curse yourself.
Sometimes you’d get your chair caught on something and sit for hours trying to do something about it.
You didn’t cry for help, you were too stubborn but finally someone would come.
I got angry at you one day
And called you pathetic for quitting.
The whole thing ended in tears and I stalked off home
Leaving you there alone.
I felt terrible and refused to call you because I was scared.
You came to my door up the ramp that my father had installed just for you
And you rang the doorbell.
I saw you there and I cried.
I apologized even though you said there was no need.
You said it was your own fault and you promised to try
But only if I did one thing.
You said that I had to share my writing with you.
I agreed and we spent our days at the park fully,
I read to you while you drew
And our agreement held strong.
We were each others critics.
I never believed in angels
Until I met you.
You were an amazing guy
Living in an ordinary world.
You’re my guardian angel
And I now believe
That we have to always try
Because it’ll all work out in the end.
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07-07-2005, 08:37 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Mooncalf
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: ♥reading
Posts: 6,604
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sophie Nesslage
Third Year | Keeper of Ginny's Cuteness ~ Flying Prefect ~ GOBBLE GOBBLE
Woah, Long, Good!
-Ali
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07-08-2005, 01:17 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Firecrab
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Stalking my Student Dictionary. Avvie brought to you by flasewishes (LJ).
Posts: 712
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Very unique! Very long, lol. But very good!! Keep up the great work!! | |
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07-09-2005, 06:36 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Snidget
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In my music....
Posts: 2,591
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talent beyond the highest mountian
__________________ 
ME on a sun shiny day. | |
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08-25-2005, 09:05 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Poking a polar bear
Posts: 472
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Allura Di McKaster
Fourth Year | good poetry
hey awsome poetry I can't write things that powerful even when I try my hardest  you are really good   | |
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09-21-2005, 11:50 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Antipodean Opaleye
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: leaving a trail of s
Posts: 9,624
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Katie Minnson
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Guardian Angel is my favorite so far. I like story poems so keep up the writing because your good at it!
- Angel
__________________ Luke <3 Angel Pupness loves Angel mooore.Katie Minnson- Third Year - Hufflepuff | |
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09-30-2005, 01:01 AM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 44
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you are good. it is great 4 a beginer
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10-18-2005, 11:53 PM
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#12 (permalink)
|  Library WriterSirius AuthorLeftySS100 TriumphantMooncalf
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Signing off SS for good…blame the workload and the hectic-ness of life. I’ll miss you all…:cry:
Posts: 6,879
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Eunice Murray
Fifth |
Your poetry is awesome!
__________________ White shores are calling... You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood.    We are proud to fight alongside men once more. ...You and I will meet again I <3 you, all my SS friends. Namarie! | |
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11-26-2005, 07:01 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Flobberworm
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: USA
Posts: 15
|  For a beginner...
All of the poems are really good, coming from a person who has too many to count!!!  I like the storm within me poem out of all of them. The first one kind of confused me a bit but I got the drift. You seem like the type who likes to free verse rather than rhyme.. I'm the same way.. I want to make my own thread for my poetry but I don't know how. Do you think you could help me?
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12-02-2005, 02:37 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| Secretly Slytherin Firecrab
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: through the looking
Posts: 787
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tegan
Seventh Year |
Thanks everyone, and yes, AcCiO_dAn_4_LiFe...all you have to do is click on the "New Thread" button, and then set it up...
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