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Kellarae 09-14-2003 12:02 AM

I'm not a good poetry writer, but just to get opinions on my attempts, I'm posting some of them here. So...yeah. Tell me if you like them, please.

Memory
I once was here,
But now I'm gone,
To a better place,
Far beyond the
Children's cries,
High above the
Smoggy skies.
I remember that
It wasn't all bad...
Remember the fun
That we would have?
And as the sun comes
At dawn, I'd like you
To know that I love you,
Even though I couldn't
Tell you until now-
WHen I'm gone.

I know it's stupid, but tell me what you think of it.

Jolie 09-14-2003 12:27 AM

that's good.

hpangel 09-14-2003 07:52 AM

I really like it. I think it is really good.

itsjustjesse 09-18-2003 06:09 PM

wow i love it, tuns of meaning...i mean its not so "cheery" its good...

Alyonna 09-21-2003 03:43 PM

wow i absolutely love that one, really makes you think too...

Kellarae 09-24-2003 03:01 AM

oh, i'm glad people like it! makes me feel better about my poems! Here's another one, tell me if it's alright.

Time to Tell

I haven't told you often,
I haven't told you tons,
But this seemed like a good time
To say thanks for all you've done.
I love you very deeply,
And with all of my heart,
Yet I know that I don't always
Show this hidden part. So
I will tell you here, and I
Will tell you now, while
I still have a chance,
Before my time runs out.
I love you, and thanks
For all you've done. I'm
Sorry I couldn't tell you
Sooner.

hpangel 09-26-2003 09:09 PM

It's great!

itsjustjesse 09-28-2003 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kellarae@Sep 23 2003, 10:01 PM


Time to Tell

I haven't told you often,
I haven't told you tons,
But this seemed like a good time
To say thanks for all you've done.
I love you very deeply,
And with all of my heart,
Yet I know that I don't always
Show this hidden part. So
I will tell you here, and I
Will tell you now, while
I still have a chance,
Before my time runs out.
I love you, and thanks
For all you've done. I'm
Sorry I couldn't tell you
Sooner.

Wow...Very good... Muy Bien!

Kellarae 09-30-2003 09:58 PM

thanx hpangel and blonder_than_u. i'm glad people like my poems! here's another one that i just wrote.

Life

Life is a river, flowing out to sea.
Or maybe it's more like a stream,
Wandering endlessly... It could
Even be the ocean, for it is vast,
You see. WHo knows what life is
It's the greatest mystery. You can
SIt and wonder why we die, and
Why we live, and why we cry.
YOu can ponder life constantly,
ANd determine if it is river,
Stream, or sea. It may even vary
Individually. I don't know what it is
For me.


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