I like your writing ... I love your plotting and what you write ... your stories are so not predictable. A lot of fanfiction sadly follows a cookie cutter kind of pattern ... look a christmas tree and a snow man cookie ... but not yours Kellybear. That is why ... I love your stories ...

See? I would never have thought Alecto so stupid or in the following paragraphs, Amycus so cowardly but I guess to push students around they didn't need their strongest Death Eaters, did they? It's tragically poignant too how Dumbledore understood Voldemort so well and trusted Severus so much that he knew the Dark Lord would have appointed him to oversee the school and that Snape would be the protector of his students I miss Dumbledore.

:luna: I say again is love ♥

I thought for sure the school would riot. I guess British kids don't automatically resort to violence over every little thing do they? Hmm, I guess it doesn't surprise this happened but I thought it sad that Neville seemed to accept his fate so readily ... Luna coming to his defense though

I'm glad you're addressing the Filch issue. It always bothered me that the books did not do anything with it. Just a sentence ... I mean for such a long book it left a lot of open ends ...

D/F No I mean Dumbledore/Ms. Figg I loved the descriptions you used for Filch and how you followed the dog one with the getting kicked one. You kept the metaphor going and I thought that was cute ... it would have worked better farther away from the ghost one but ... I can always just think of Filch as a ghost dog roaming the halls of Hogwarts

I liked the way you described the dungeons I always go with dank but that's kind of cliche your way was actually quite refreshing and so much better. Even I can learn goes to show I also liked the description of the light swaying and the Peruvian Powder ... you know I love when you use HP references.

I do not ascribe to the argument that :luna: was/is smarter or more freewheeling than Neville to be with him. Yes, she did puzzle him but ... though I do agree that she would be so much more different than he ... still, Neville changed a lot in book 7 so I always threw that argument out. In any event ... I like your descriptions because while I don't think Neville couldn't keep up, I do think Luna did have quicksilver thoughts and not just because of her hair

Your description of Claustrophobia is very apt. I like little details like this that flesh out the character. It makes Neville more real and it shows that you know the character and his whole Herbology thing going on ... yeah. I've always thought it interesting you'd want to write about someone other than the trio ... I didn't know you knew and loved Neville so much, honestly. I always liked him but I thought it was a pity that it wasn't until the 7th book that he really came into his own. Still, you write this story so well but ... what's going to happen to Hannah now? And what have you done with my Seamus? You know I love Seamus and Dean Tell us more about them ... or the rest of the D.A. Whatever. I love this story. Just keep doing what you're doing write brilliantly.

What? How dare you Accio Kellybear *smoochies you*

I have been thinking incessantly about my next post. Pretty much everything from here til New Years hinges on what happens next, so I want to make sure I get it right.
In the meantime, thank you for reading and for being patient

Thats fine Kelly, I'd much rather read a really great story that the author took the time to get it right on, then a really great story that went to the dump just so another post could be written. I appreciate your being patient and thoughtful.

I am sure it will be fantastic! Take all the time you need. I know it takes time to bring a good story together!

For three days, Neville waited in his cell. A small slit would appear in the wall once every twelve hours, and a plate of food would levitate through, followed by a jug of water. When he had finished eating, both the plate and the jug would vanish. The hours dragged on, but Neville filled them with mental exercises and, when he was particularly hungry, plans for revenge should he ever escape.

He worked out, after the third meal, what the feeding schedule was, and kept count of his meals so he could keep track of the days. Why he felt it important to keep track of time, he did not know, but it seemed vital that he did so. On the third night, Amycus Carrow entered his cell.

Neville had been dozing in a corner. The shink of metal on stone awakened him and, too late, he realized that metal chains were snaking their way toward him. They fastened themselves to his wrists and ankles and began to drag him up the stone wall. Amycus laughed at Neville’s struggles.

“No use, boy, no use. Those chains will only get tighter.” Said Amycus with a sneer.

Neville felt the chains tighten and ceased his struggles. He didn’t trust Amycus not to allow the chains to rend him to pieces. He watched as Amycus' face convulsed between rage and amusement. He had seen madness many, many times in his life, and he recognized it now.

“If it were up to me, you wouldn’t be nothing but a greasy black smudge on that wall, boy. Pureblood,” Amycus spat. “I say that even some pure blood needs to be spilled, sometimes.” Amycus looked around suddenly, a frightened look on his face, as though he feared someone might hear.

He turned again toward Neville who kept his features neutral. Amycus shuffled up to him until they were nose to nose. The Death Eater’s foul breath overwhelmed him and he fought back the urge to gag.

“You think your something special, don’t you, boy? You think you and your little pretend army of brats are really doing something important, don’t you?” Amycus snorted, “Lot of little snot-nosed twits running around in knee britches, playing at magic, fighting the ‘bad guys‘. Well, play time is over, little boy.”

Amycus stepped back and regarded Neville with what could almost be called pleasure. He raised his wand “Crucio!”

Neville felt as though his skin were being scoured from his body. He writhed in agony against the wall and the chains tightened as he did so. Far, far away, he heard Amycus laughing.

OOoooo... I had goose pimples while I was reading that!! Good stuff!

Can't wait for the next post!

Not even 3 1/2 hours after you tell us you want to make sure you get it right, you give us an incredible post! How long did it take you to study for school exams?!?! Your positutely brilliant!
The hours dragged on, but Neville filled them with mental exercises and, when he was particularly hungry, plans for revenge should he ever escape.
I'm glad you gave us this time to see Neville develope. He has been coming along steadily and surely. You know he has his confidence when he actually makes plans for revenge.

Cool post. Poor Neville though ... I don't much care for Alecto and his little uhm, breath problem.

That said, I'm surprised Neville hasn't found some kind of 'grows in the deep dank dark fungus' or something that's super explosive that he can use on the walls to escape his cell ... or something.

*Teddy interjects* T: This is how you know this is not an Ottery fic. None of the ridiculously improbable giant explosions every other post.

O: My explosions are not improbable just my plots.
T:
O:
T:
O: *Ouch*
etc.

Neways, keep it up ... and PAMS when you cans.

P.S.~ Kelly's Readers: I know for a fact she does research cuz I saw her pull out the book and go through the chapters not that she didn't already remember it but she double checks her work too

Fortunately for Neville, Amycus seemed incapable of maintaining the Cruciatus Curse while punching, and he seemed unable to decide which he preferred, his fists or his wand. Neville preferred the punches as the pain was focused and less intense, rather than all-consuming, even when Amycus drove the air from his lungs and cracked his ribs with his vicious blows to Neville’s stomach.

The chains around his wrists and ankles had tightened to the point that the burning pain in Neville’s hands and feet had become a heavy numbness, so Neville concentrated all his will on remaining absolutely still throughout the ordeal for fear of the chains cutting through his flesh and crushing his bones.

Amycus taunted Neville continuously, but though Neville could hear his voice, it was as the cawing of a raven or the whispering of the wind. Neville was sure he continued along the same theme of the D.A. being trivial, but Neville had seen the fear in his eyes, and heard his sister Alecto whisper Dumbledore's name. He knew they were frightened of the D.A. and the possibility of a student uprising, and that knowledge gave him strength to endure the endless torture.

Hours passed, at least it seemed so to Neville, for he had lost consciousness several times, but Amycus showed no signs of growing weary of this game. He could still hear Amycus jeering as darkness swept over him a final time.




An: I had meant to have AMYCUS doing the torturing, but I accidently confused the names of the brother and sister. I think I have managed to fix all the posts with that error. Sorry for any confusion. Alecto, the sister, is still in the Infirmary.

Poor little Neville!!

Great post!! PAMS

I can't help holding my breath when you put up posts like this. I guess it's a good thing they're somewhat short. Neville sure is a solid one isn't he? He has such inner strength. I always wished JK had shown more of his fortitude, instead of always the bumbling shy inept boy. I think his background should have had a much more important arc in the stories. Anyway, back to your story. I love what your doing with Neville, and I wonder how Luna's doing. And I bet the rest of the DA is working furiously to get them rescued. But, really, what can they do? And why won't Snape step in and say enough is enough. This is such a great story. In case I haven't said it enough yet, I love your story, and I can't wait for more. So, you know, post when you can, and enjoy life. Catch ya later.

that was really nice...hope the DA comes and resuces him...what about Luna?how is she going through all this?wanna know more...

That was a really cool way to start this post I especially liked the part I bolded. Really cool.

It's cool how tough Neville is. Amycus' cruelty goes without saying and it's to be expected of a Death Eater. Really cool. I love how canon your story seems and I don't really buy that whole fanfiction as plausible canon stuff because you know I think canon ceases to be when the original creator stops doing the work or deviates so far from what was (i.e. jumping the shark like say ... Grey's Anatomy) that it's just not the same story. Yours though feels authentic is what I guess I'm trying to say. Yup yup.

Wow. You really are cruel. *takes notes*

I loved your description there, the whole description of him as an animal or an element not something rational or thinking like a human being. Nice way to dehumanize the enemy Kelly. I see you've been taking cues from the media

A student uprising. Now wouldn't that be fun? Well, not for the Death Eaters obviously. But for the rest of us ... jolly good show, wot?

You know it's Halloween soon, right? I ♥ black cats ...

“Neville,” a soft voice called him out of the abyss. “Neville, please, wake up.”

Slowly, he surfaced, but with consciousness came pain and he shrank from it, willing himself back into the void. He tried to tell the gentle voice to go away, that he did not want to feel, but it called to him, pulling him toward the light.

“No.” he managed through cracked lips.

“We must go now, Neville. You must wake up.” A hand shook him, and the pain was so that he wanted to vomit.

“Hurts.” he said, and wanted to cry, but found he lacked the strength.

A few soft murmured words, a flash of pale pink light, and he felt a soothing warmth washing over him.

“That’s the best I can do here. I can tend to your wounds better when we’re safe.”

“Luna? Is that you?” Neville tried to open his eyes, but they were so swollen he could barely see. Still, he managed to make out Luna’s face. She smiled at him.

“That’s better. Come on, up with you. We have to go.” Luna dragged him to his feet, and held him til he was steady. “Can you walk?”

Neville seriously doubted that he could, but he was determined to try. He nodded, afraid to speak. Luna pointed her wand at the wall and it opened. Holding his battered ribs tightly with one arm, and Luna’s shoulder with the other, Neville shambled toward the opening.

“How?“ Neville asked, when they were out in the corridor and he did not feel quite as strong a need to scream or vomit.

“They sent Crabbe to torture me.” Luna said, as though this explained everything.

“So?”

“Well, I guess Filch was in a hurry when he tossed us into those cells, because he forgot to take our wands. I tried for a while to get the wall to open, but I couldn’t or I’d have come sooner.” Neville could hear the apology in her voice and his face burned with shame. He completely forgotten his wand.

“Anyway, they sent Crabbe to punish me, but I disarmed him and made him tell me how to work the wall.” Luna finished.

“Where is he?” Neville was shocked at how much effort it took to say those three words. Did Amycus leave even one rib unbroken?

“I left him in the cell. Don’t worry, I used a memory charm on him, he won’t remember a thing.” Luna said, then, “Ah, here we are.”

Neville could see nothing but endless stone wall. “This is my cell,” Luna said, “we should be able to find our way out from here.”

“How?” Neville asked, though he did not doubt her for a moment.

“I spelled marks in the floor so we could find our way out. They aren’t very deep, but you can still see the scratches in the stone.” Neville remembered how Luna had focused on the floor when Filch had been bringing them down into the dungeons. He should have known.

That was seriously brilliant! I figured she was counting cracks in the floor. Luna is a true Ravenclaw for sure. You know the whole; wit before whatever stuff. She knows things that she doesn't even know she knows. It's just there for whenever the occasion calls for it.
Neville is sure in a bad way. Is it to the Room of Requirements for them now? I know Snape is s'pose to be a good guy, but, sometimes I think he enjoys going along to protect his cover.
This was such a great post, and I can't wait to read more. You are an exceptional writer.

Oh yay!! Luna saved the day! Bless them! Good thinking on Luna leaving the marks on the stone floor. Pure brilliance!! BRAVO

It was all a dream ... now that would have been a twist. But it wasn't but it was a good story.

That was so sad that Neville felt death beckoning ... it's a testament to the torture that Amycus gave him

I would have thought that he was 'hoping' to see Luna, but it would have been Hannah *sighs* oh well. I like Luna and Neville that's one of my favorite ships.

Which is what makes him so lovable he might be down but he's not out.

I have to admit that that was unexpected. I hadn't really given much thought to them having their wands taken away from them. This was a bit of an unexpected surprise likewise when Luna it turns out marked the way they came in. She's a Ravenclaw all right.

I still think you write this the way Jo would have written it had she bothered to tell us what happened at Hogwarts. Your style is nice, clear, clean and most importantly it strives to follow canon and you do it rather very well. It makes for a solid lovely story. Keep it up and I'll keep reading.

I have to admit, that did indeed explain everything to me

It was a brilliant post, the way you've written this whole story. I think your knack for following canon and making the characters stay true to themselves is a mark of what genius you have. Keep it up. I love this story and it's really interesting because I don't usually follow characters outside the trio or at least when the trio aren't there. Love this story, love, keep it going.



~Ottery

nice....at last here comes Luna...i was waiting for her entry...pams...

When they reached the Room of Requirement, it looked remarkably like a vast Infirmary. Luna settled Neville on a nearby cot and inspected his wounds. A pot of thick yellow paste, used to treat bruises, sat on a small table nearby and this she began to smooth onto Neville’s battered face.

Neville reached up and gently held her wrist. “Thank you.” he whispered through cracked and swollen lips. Luna sat perfectly still for the space of one heartbeat, then two, considering him very carefully. Then, with infinite tenderness, she bent down and kissed him.

The touch of her lips was so soft and light, but Neville felt it’s effect to the soles of his feet. His eyes closed of their own volition and he prayed fervently that she would go on kissing him for a very long while. Then thought ceased completely, and he simply was.


An: This update was short and sweet, but there is more to come very shortly. Read on.

Short but very sweet, KellyBear!

Awwww.... She kissed him and he liked it! How precious are they?!

She raised up and regarded him with tenderness, smiling. “My mother was very good at healing. I think she had to be out of necessity. Hopefully, I have some of her talent.” she said and began daubing the ointment on him once again.

Neville lay quite still under her careful ministrations. He could feel his heartbeat in every battered part of his body, and he wondered that his face didn’t resemble anything so much as ground beef. For all he knew, it did.

Luna began dabbing his lips with a bitter liquid which stung. Neville sucked in his breath sharply and tried to turn away, but Luna pulled him back gently but firmly.

“It will sting for only a moment, but the swelling is already going down.” Neville looked up at her and nodded, then squeezed his eyes shut as she once again applied the bitter liquid to his lips. After a few minutes, the burning pain subsided, and he could focus outside of himself once more.

He gave his thoughts over to watching Luna. He loved the way the glow from the candlelight caught in her hair, the soft smile on her lips whenever she looked into his eyes, the delicate touch of her hands. He sighed, longing to reach out and touch her cheek.

“Where else does it hurt?” she asked, setting aside the bowl of liquid.

“My ribs, mostly.” Neville said, grimacing.

“Well, then we’ll need to take off your robes so I can tend to them.” Luna said matter-of-factly and busied herself with the multiplying bottles and pots of ointments and potions on the small bedside table while Neville gawked at her in disbelief.

“W-what?” Surely she didn’t mean for him to…but she did. He realized that there was no other way for her to tend to his ribs and wished fervently at that moment that Seamus were there, instead.

Grateful that Luna seemed unable to look at him, he sat up gingerly and tried to pull his tattered robes over his head. Groaning, he lay back on the cot. He simply did not have the strength. When he had rested a moment, he sat up and tried to pull the infernal robe over his head, again.

Panting and out of breath, he was ready to give up when he felt a tug from somewhere outside the folds of the garment, and in a moment he was free of it. “Thanks” he said, looking up at Luna.

Luna, however, was looking at his chest. Tears, like a softly falling rain, ran down her cheeks. Neville followed her gaze and gasped. There was no part of him that had been left unmarked. Every inch of himself that he could see was a livid red, black, blue or purple. Suddenly very tired, Neville lay back and closed his eyes. This was going to be a very long night.

I've been watching everyday and night for you to post. I subscribed to this story the first day Ottery put it out on his post on Human Nature. My e-mail alert didn't alert me about this or the earlier post till just a little bit ago. Eerg Oh well, I read them and re-read them two more times. They were so good, I just had to indulge.
Poor Neville! He was just inches from death wasn't he? It's wonderful how you've made Luna so compassionate. And it's good she learned so much from her mom. Your good Kelly, so good! An exceptional post, actually both of them. I love this story.

I have goose pimples! That was very beautifully written.

Nice updates Kelly. The kissing one was very romantic and sweet. I've always loved N/L I swear those two were meant to be together ... it was also unexpected except you kind of gave it away in the title

Where's Trevor in all this?

The next update was good too. I love the way you described everything, my heart goes out to Neville with all the beatings and the bruises and everything and it's very sweet of Luna to tend to him. I thought you wrote it very lovely. Pams when you cans. Your story is going great.

aw....that was such a sweet post...i love Luna and Neville and i love you for posting such a tender,sweet and wonderful post...waiting for more...