Thanks for the Comments...
here is another poem
#*#**#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#**#*#
What we can't stop....
It sticks inside...
Cant be brought out...
Everytime we try...
It hurts just a...
LITTLE MORE....
Wrong..
It hurts bad...
It makes you break down...
Shout and cry...
Hurt...
Empty....
Closed my eyes...
Forget...
Wash away memories in my mind...
I push...
It wont...
I cant get rid of them...
They are stuck...
The only thing I can do is dream...
Over come this pain...
And Thats The only way....
Because I know without a doubt...
You love me....
We cant let go....
It hurts...
Everytime...
We try to....
We cant let this go......
Why Would I want to let it go...
Its the only reason...
I live...
Breathe everyday....
Its what we cant let go...
##*#**#**#*#*#*#*#*#**#*#*#
There you go.

weee..great post Xavier..you're really talented ^_^

OMG! All of these poems are awesome! Please post more soon Xavier! :D

Great Job!

Thank you everyone...
Here is a short poem...
#####################
Seeing is how we cant be..
Why Am i still here..
dreaming...
screaming...
for you to climb in my arms tonight...
You haunt me...
wake me...
I see you all around...
Get out!!
Get out!!!
Please get out of my mind.....
Forcing..
pushing...
My mind...
to be far away to even...
Think of you...
Ever again...
It stings...
It hurts...
Its like an unforgivable spell..
That hit me....
When Im not with you...
Trying to forget...
Do I want to forget?...
You hear my faint screaming...
When I think of you...
When I lay in my...
Bed.
This moonlit night.
#####################
there you go.

I liked it a lot

weee...That's a nice poem XavierPal ^_^ :D

Thank you...
Here you go..
###############
Your everywhere...
Standing by me...
Laying beside me....
When I try to touch you...
There is nothing to be see.....
A feeling drops to my heart...
Inside me...
It starts to break...
It hurts..
When I think of you...
When I try to destroy myself.....
I always end up deep...
Down with you...
Stare in your eyes...
Like we use to do...
My head fills up...
It cant take no more...
I feel someone pulling me up.....
I wash the feelings of you...
The images of you...
Please!!
Take me!!
Be with me!!!
Im Brought higher....
Harry!!
Is what I say...
Air Bubbles reach in the Air....
You pulled me up...
My heart Stops....
Should I fall in love with Dean..??
###########################

Xavier!!!
YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!

:heart2:
Lily

Very Cute

very sweet and sentimental! I love those kinds. more please!

I've got a degree in English & Self-Importance so you know all my statements r valid
 

*Teddy & Ottery walk in read the sign* O: I was actually looking for a candy shop but ...
T: *smacks Otty* Read it!
O: *rubs head where Teddy smacked him*

O: Nice picture :lol: but now onto the poem ...


I have to admit that's a nice title. :yes:


:eek: Okay, so let me start by saying ... you chose a very seirous topyic to write on and I think that's brilliant. Seriously. Poetry is about the more passionate, most powerful moments about ... well it can be about anything but you chose to write about something epic and ...all I can say is: Wow.

One, because that's a meaty subject and a lot of people might have been scared off by it, you're brave. :yes:

Two, because you write it so well. :yes: You're right there at the start. Harry's thinking about everything that's just happened and he's walking to certain death ... :cry: honestly I think you wrote it sooooooooooo well. The grammar could use some help but who am I to talk, right? :lol: :cry: Neways, grammar aside, the words you chose and how you presented them is just beautiful. Seriously.

You are as good a poet as you are a writer Xavier. And you already know I think you're a brilliant writer. :yes: *insert endless blushing on your part here*

What I highlighted that is brilliant by itself in the context of the whole poem. I mean, you point out all that sacrifice to save Harry because he's going to defeat Voldemort and what then? In the end, is it for nothing? Harry has to give himself up to save everyone else, too. The duality and the circularity of it in itself is poetic but ... wow, seriously, brilliant.

It's sad the way you show, very graphically and beautifully for all it's horror the school we all love so well. Harry hasn't seen it since his 6th year and to have it be all that way ... that's sad. You show it so well.

Here, well what can I say? You give us a glimpse into the DA. Harry's friends are fighting for him alongside him and you show it so well in these tiny fragments of scene, what poetry can't afford to do is waste loads of pages on a character or a scene and you say it so well in a few words. It's ... well it's wow.
Honestly, the most terrifying thing I would have thought would have been Mrs. Weasley taking on Bellatrix but that's just my opinion ... :worried:

And you didn't forget the heroes best mates and his greatest allies, but I have to criticize and please don't take it the wrong way, that they should have merited more than just a simple thought ... They've been with Harry all the time, surely he would have thought more about them at the end, no?

That is beautiful. :cry:

That was poignant ... very touching and sweetly sad. I like bittersweetness so this chord strikes the right note for me ...

Your poem reminds me of the last chapters so well. Brilliantly. :yes:

And of course, the price that must be paid ... for every life is bought with something ... as is every death. Brilliant. *fires the cannons for this poem* I think you should post this poem in the DA thread, it features the DA characters and it is quite beautiful. That's my own opinion. :yes:

To say I liked it is an understatement and I wish I could use it in one of my fics it's so brilliant. I look forward to reading more of your poems Xavier but, don't forget your fic, some of us like that too. You're a brilliant writer keep it up.

Hello Everyone.....
And...
**Claps**
Otty is in the House...
lololololol...
here is a DA poem......
#############################
~The Dim Light~
Everyday the world that surrounds All around them....
gets a little bit darker....
But still they went on...
Another year at Hogwarts....
But this time..
Instead of always hiding in the dark...
Afraid of what might happened...
Now,They dont care at all....
As long as they stand together....
To fight for their rights...
and their freedom....
Crabbe held a wand in his hand...
As he flicked it...
Neville hit the wall...
and marks appeared all around...
He was weakened....
Brokendown...
Darkness rised above all....
"Crucio!!"
Shaking...
Screaming...
Pain that shot inside him......
"Stop!!!!!!!!!"
"Stop!!!!!!"
Silence...
Neville laid on the ground...
Laughing behind him...
He gave a slight grin...
He knew that this world...
would hurt him all along...
Snow falling...
Lives fading....
a ruffling sound...
on their way back to home.....
Slowing going....
Rolling...
Rolling.......................
Then.
Stop...
No sound at all...
Children whispering...
Trembling....
Shaking.......
Luna and Neville...
Them two from all...
Luna's hand slipped...
Fell onto Neville's hand...
They looked at each other....
Then.
Glass popped...
Out of the window...
shattered glass....
"NOO!!!!!!
NEVILLE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Black cloaks...
surrounded him in darkness....
Shuffling...
Finding...
Then...
No Luna...
He got up quick and ran out of the Compartment...
Cold wind all around...
Children screaming....
Then. Dean.
Ginny.
"THEY TOOK LUNA!!! HELP"
they muttered,"no."
They ran past students pushing them....
They took out their wands....
They heard faint screaming...
echoing from the walls...
Vibrating......
Screaming...
"NEVILLE!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!
NO-..HE-..."
Silence....
As they ran their hearts became...
deep black cold...
children laid on the snow...
Half of the Train laid broken...
He saw black...
He left Ginny,and Dean...
And he ran to his love...
His friend...
But nothing at all..
When he heard that faint pop...
She was gone...
Surrounded in white...
as she said,"Come here.."
She ran up to her mom...
as tears ran down...
Ginny was covered in friends....
Lupin...
Tonks....
Her brothers...
Her dad and Mom.......
The their was a crash....
The full moon was up......
Howling all around...
"RUN!!! RUN!!!!"
They broke the Glass.....
And ran...
their feet deep within the snow.....
A wolf clang to her Dad.....
"DAD!!!"
"STUPEFY!!"
Red light shot out from her wand.....
"PROTEGO!!"
Blue lightened around her....
A wolf trying to claw his teeth in.....
"LUPIN WATCH OUT!!!!!"
two wolves came out of thin air....
One said,"Time to play....
Traitor!!!!"
"TONKS PROTECT HIM!!!!!
WE HAVE THIS."
They were surrounded all around....
Screaming ending with spells....
Black clouds circled...
It caused Fire....
As it hit her house..
"MOM!!! MOM!!!!
PROTEGO!!!!"
Cho ran to reach her mom....
She was cornered by death Eters.....
"Please...dont.."
She reached her back pocket..
Her wand in her hand.....
She quickly aimed it at the Death Eater
"OBLIVIATE!!!"
He shot down to The Floor...
The last thing she saw was Black clouds all around....
Fire Surrounded...
Burning....
Everything....
as a bag was put over her face.....
Tightened...
and felt like
dust lifted from the Ground....
Still stay strong...
Trying to Protect their own....
This is it...
The End...
But at least they got to spend their Last days...
With their friends....
Dumbledores Army....
Shall rise again....
From the Ashes of the Dim Light...
Hopefully...
Once again.
##################################
Hoped you liked it

ohhh!
great poem!

Don't let your mome raths grabe out use the vorpal sword it's heroic! At a store nea
 

:bow: Thank you for that marvelous intro Xavier ... and now for my critique of your latest poem, per your request ... I usually try to catch up first but since you asked so nicely ;)

So you know I'm all :woot:

I have to admit I had to reread this a couple of times and as the critic feel free to correct me if I missed something or if I interpreted something wrong but ... my take on this poem goes a little like this:

*To the tune of The Beatles Can't buy me love ♥*

At first I thought, the DA having occurred in book 5 this poem took place in book 6, right? But that's where you're wrong ... on further reading of course we see Luna's abduction and that happens after book 6 going into book 7. I also note that the author ships N/L :lol: like I do ... :whistle: just sayin' Neways. They've decided to come out of the dark ... nice use of the dark/light motif :yes:



Now this I don't remember so ... I take it this either happens while Neville is at school fighting with his NEW D.A. openly (don't remember if that's canon but then again I take canon and fire it so who cares, really? :lmao: ) Poor Neville. :cry: Evil obviously is triumphing ...

I don't know why, but those lines I highlighted just clicked a note ... they're so sad and true ... and not just to Neville but ... it's funny he's grinning, he's used to it I guess ... yet he still goes on ... *glomps Neville* :glomp:

Using an old metaphor ... winter means death ... nice. :yes:

*cough*IstillshipN/L*cough* Is this love or mere coincidence? :lol: I think it's cute ...



A couple of things here ... we start with silence and our heroes hearts deep because they feel, become black because they're facing evil and cold because they feel loss and absence ... I like how you capture all that in three simple words.

Then there's the use of color ... he sees black, the Death Eaters and then when she's gone he's surrounde by white ... nothing. There's nothing there were his Luna :luna: was ... black representing evil and white absence ... nice touch.

Here we have two scenes which you start the same and meld well together ... They seemlessly melt into one another (dunno if you did that on purpose) while at first reading it confuses the story flow once you get the jist of the tale you can appreciate the repetition *a tool of poetry* and how you go from one scene to another ... :yes: *please hold your applause*

The imagery of fading light or darkness or blindness (Neville in the snow) does not escape me. Goes well with the title Dim Light :yes: Nice touch. *fires the cannons*

The imagery of darkness or blindness again, present here in Luna's abduction scene (?????). Nice touch.

And you end it on a hopeful note, which we all know who have read book 7 that it does end well ... well mostly, for our intrepid heroes. Unless you liked Snape cuz then you're ...

I have to admit it was very dark, :lol: sorry light imagery you know ... but the point is. Yes, I did indeed like it. Not as much as your epic but still good stuffs. Your epic was ... well epic so it's kinda hard to top. Still, a brilliant poem Xavier ... give us more. :lol: Lemme read some more of your stuff. What poets do you read, what poetry do you like just out of curiousity?

My favorite poem is Jabberwocky ... what can I say ...

my mome rath just grabe out so I gotta go ... I'll be back Xavier keep up the beautiful poetry ... I love your imagery and PAMS on your fic, no?

Cool Poem

Now I'm off to change my siggy ... *goes*
 

That's a heady topic ... :lol: you don't pick the simple stuff do you? I like that ... I'm just happy to write a happy love poem ... you do epic. Wow.

That is a beautiful introduction. :yes: I like how you introduce her, give us her title and tell us it's the story of a ghost and the way she died ... it's cool how you're up front about the whole but we have to read the poem to find out exactly how and why that is. Nice intro.

Envy kills. It's really tragic too that it's her mother she envies.

It's like the scene mimics her heart's feelings ... sad. :cry: No good can come of greed ... Nice setting and story ...

That part there is the saddest. She thought her beauty wrapped up in a crown when in truth her desire made her ugly and her wicked scheming and stealing made her evil ... pity. :lol: Just call me Aesop. I'm full of morals.

Greed comes back to haunt the greedy, no? Tragedy times two. This is sadly ironic and cool. Wow. Poor thing ...

And your ending like your introduction is beautiful as well. You close it the way you started it so it's circular and I love the tragic poignancy of the whole piece ... :cry: nice work Xavier ... uhm, but how's about a lovely love poem from Harry to Ginny or something? Just to lighten the mood? No? LOL Love your stuff ... keep it up.

Awesome one, you're good!