Harry, Ron and Hermione are now grown up...sort of and now they live on a remote island off Ireland (heh...heh?)

Suddenly from being wizards, living without magic are now catholics and happy... apart from competition off Malfoy, who lives without magic...on a remote island off Ireland... who is Catholic.

NOT against Catholics, just a background story.


Starting off....Hermione bounced into the room with her hair done in an Elvis style (scary :unsure: ) pointing to a fake diamond studded black leather jacket with 'Elvis' on the back. As she turned round, she saw an ambitious Ron and a drunk Harry with gross stuff on his face - wearing the same stuff.
"Who're you supossed to be then?" asked Ron.
"Ron. I'm Elvis."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"I'm Elvis."
"Yes. I know. We're all Elvis. That's the problem."
"Why?"
"Cos you copied off me. I said I was going to be Elvis."she said with clenched teeth.
"Ah, so that's where I got the idea!"
"I thought this was the first Craggy, Crundell and Crippen Islands look-a-like competition I was gonna win!"
"Now, it is a bit strange you thought of it as well!"
"I'll have to go as Mother Teresa again!"
"Who're you s'posed be then?" said Harry in a very gruff voice. He was sobering. Unusual.:o:
"I'm Elvis." He said and he walked slowly and roughly to his favourite chair. "DRINK!"he demanded poignantly.
Hermione got up. "This is riduculous. I'm making a cup of tea."

Post 2
Post 3
Post 4

This is about a run through of Harry Potter's life...except...

Albus Dumbledore has an invisible imaginary friend who has a Siamese twin.
Seamus is posh.
And Neville appears only all the time
Go away.
Stupid Neville. He's an attention seeker but I'll make him worse.
The power! sigh.
But this is writing off the top of my head so, if it's not funny, it's random.


Harry was smoking his first cigarette, and he spluttered realising he couldn't be late for: How to really irritate Dumbledore's imaginary friend's Siamese twin.
"Whadda heck? I gives yuh thiz and yuh give me nuffin. You're a dizzgrace."
One of his friends, Ron, had come off with a new disguise to avoid lessons. A gangzta.


And after the large D'oh! a woman in Bombay stepped on a snail.
And Ron's beret didn't move, so the author flicked it off.
So the readers went "Ahahaha" at the same time, making Harry zoom to HTRIDIFST
And also the teachers place for HTRIDIFST had an everlasting curse that, whenever the sat down, they'd be sitting on a hippo.

*L* OK, the whole elvis thing is very funny ... but what does that have to do with them being Catholic?

LOL, very random.

Dunno^...lol I could have made them Protestants...just the first thing that came to my mind.

As Hermione was about to storm out, Hagrid, now thin and with cut hair to the shoulders entered.
"You're lookin' different today, Herm. Have you had a haircut or summin'?"
"No. I'm Elvis."
"Are you Hermione? Well, that's a turn-up for the books then isn't it? Anyway, tea!"

All I could think of, but still!

Seamus burst in after seeing Professor Obviouslyabadguyjustkickhimoutofthestory.
"Oh, I say, ah say..." he said snorting - but not into anyone's soup (he's so polite)"Professor Obviouslyabadguyjustkickhimoutofthestory has sat on - a hippo!"
Nobody laughed so he slunked out. That happened every time they sat down.
Suddenly he poked his head through the door and said, "Rum do."
And by that time the author tried to post the reply.

One day in the middle of the woods, Noddy managed to ring Big ears on the telepho -

There was a young man fron Brazil,
Whose name, I think, was Bill.
He could screw on his head
While he was in bed,
And still have time for his Pills! Wait- someday the author will get it right -
Ah, yes, the weird on. O. Won. whatever.

Anyway, Harry and his hmm...(Neville disguise?)friend Neville dressed like a weirdo from Hogwarts!!! walked out. Ron was slithering out of his suit until Hermione suddenly died. (Go on! You know you want to!) and hippo angels playing bust saxophones came flying down trying to play Cb (Which actually is B! mwahahaha! Should I call this book Harry Potter and the Rampaging Hippos?).
Until Ron heroically (and did i mention Bleurgh!ly?) said, "Oh, Hermione! I've always treasured the moments even when you were breathing, so I don't what I would do good snog, but anyway, I LURV YOU!"
"Oh, right, that's good enough excuse not to be dead!" she said and she jumped off her hippo, "They were bad serenaders anyways."
"I can't believe I said that."
"C'mere you hunk of Ginger blob!"
This bit blanked out for the X-rated swearing and violence. I know you want to read this bit but - hey don't pokey! It's ended now anyway.
And Ron cried out as Hermione was being carried away by the hippos, "Oh, Author, I'm bored of this!"
"Rum do" said Seamus poking his head through the doors
And the author ended it.