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Go Back   SnitchSeeker.com > Forums > Floo Network (Extra Fun) > Honeydukes (Fanfiction) > Candy Display Case (Finished Fanfiction)

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Candy Display Case (Finished Fanfiction) A dazzling showcase of fully wrapped-up stories, these sweet treats are polished and ready for your reading pleasure!

 
 
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Old 10-11-2003, 06:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Mum, if you could be here
It would be great
If only you were near

Mum I have tried to live my life
the way you would want
Even though since your loss I'm filled with strife

I've still got a scar
And because you I live
(Aunt said it was from a car)

You saved me then
and protect me now
That's why this poem to you I send

Dad, if you could be here
It would be great
If only you were near

I've saved some friends
And lost some too
But it's not the end

I met your friend from school
Sirius was his name
But I lost him too

You two were great
When I knew you
But then you met your fate

So, now I hear stories
of the famous Lilly and James
Who's son little Harry
Is almost the same

I love you both and always will
My poem from my heart
And I love you still
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Old 10-16-2003, 12:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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Interesting rhyme scheme, but i think you could get a little more into it if you used no rhyming, because rhyming has the tendency to tie you down, so you cant really say that much. Just a recomendation, no need to follow my views. Other than that, nice job i enjoyed it.
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