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Old 10-19-2010, 08:55 PM   #35 (permalink)
MissWeasley
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tabitha Lorraine Cauldwell
First Year
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♥ Gone but not forgotten ♥ ♥ S.S. Fan ♥ Willowgirl ♥

Owen!

I enjoyed this chapter alot! It kind of had a different flavour to it, which led to an intensity that I quite liked. Your story brought great colour and imagery to mind, which gave the characters a well-rounded feel.

I liked how you were able to capture Teddy's intensity and vulnerability, through the use of drink. The image was clear and very thought provoking. What I would like to know is: What mission has he been working on for ages... and the scrolls he "borrows"... are they for his own personal quest or interest? Are we going to find out that Merlin was actually a "real" person afterall? What was Teddy specifically looking for in the first place? Hm...

Now... Harry. Isn't it wonderful what a little shave will do for a man's well-being? Although, three days was definitely a more than adequate time to sulk, I think, and what's up with Harry's anger at James? Is James perhaps up to no good?

Quote:
Feeling the tears threaten to overwhelm him, Harry rushed to the bed, his nostrils suddenly filled with Ginny's scent. An image popped into his head - Ginny lying on crisp white sheets, laughing. Her long red hair framing her soft, beautiful fac
I absolutely loved Harry's daydream! Those crisp, white sheets practically "snapped" in my mind... and the simple but revealing description of Ginny was well done. An excellent piece of writing, I think! What's up with Harry's jealousy of Ron and Hermione's marriage though? Are Ginny and Harry really having that many problems? I think you should clear them up quickly, if they are... poor Harry!

I had to giggle when I realized Madam Promfrey was still very much alive and kicking at Hogwarts; good for her! Again, the simple description you used to describe Lily's love for her father was well done. I definitely liked Ginny's playful poke to the ribs to awaken the sleeping Harry. It shows she still loves him, I think.

Now... the good part! What's up with Bill, "Death-Boy", Cei, and the Goblins??? I know there are some "double-agents" in this story... right, but who? I mean, I keep having to change my mind. Why did the goblins attack Cei anyway? I mean, I was sure he was a spy... and Bill? He's not a spy is he... or is he? Maybe a double agent... which leads us back to James... Maybe the "Boy Who Lived" has a rogue son...? Mwahaha... I'm so confused and have so many questions!

Okay, Owen... WHO killed the 20 captured wizards???? Was it... JAMES? or maybe Cei? Although, I really wanted Cei to be a good guy... :-( Incidentally, I'm with Hugo. There is no way that a bunch of stupid goblins could take down Cei! He's my hero! AND there's no way, he's a Dark Arts follower. There's got to be something else going on... right?

An excellent chapter, Owen. I enjoyed it very much and I'm truly looking forward to the next one! By the way... the suspense is killing me!

Katie
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