Chapter Three, Part One: New Place, Returning Face

I’d slept right through the whole thing- Hermione and Harry Apparating right outside the tent, Harry being seriously ill and Hermione’s quick explanation. It was Jamie’s shout that had woken me up- Hermione’s severing charm had caught his finger.

Harry was awake now, on watch, while Hermione thumbed through a book. It was past midnight- almost dawn. Jamie had gone back to sleep while I was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the back of Harry’s head, reading his thoughts. We’d moved as soon as I’d woken up, to another snow covered valley. I frowned slightly at his thoughts as Hermione stood up.

“Here, Alicia” She said after a minute, passing me a cup of coffee. I stood and walked over to Harry with her. “Harry?”

“Thanks” He took one of the cups Hermione held out as we crouched down beside him, the book still under Hermione’s arm.

“Do you mind if we talk to you?” I asked and he shook his head.

“Harry, you wanted to know who that man in the picture was... Well- I’ve got the book” Hermione said quietly, pushing the book into his lap. I glanced at the title- The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore.

“Hermione- where did you get that?” I asked, astounded, while Harry stared from Hermione to the book as she explained how she had got it. Harry’s thoughts turned bitter and his face contorted in anger.

“You’re still angry at me, aren’t you?” Hermione said, fresh tears running down her cheeks. I heard movement coming from where I’d left Jamie and stood up, resting a hand on Harry’s shoulder as I did.

“Alicia?” Jamie mumbled as I sat back down on the bed.

“Yeah, it’s me...” I said and he rolled over to look at me. “Are you okay?” I asked, laying my hand on his cheek. The conversation about Harry’s broken wand had swung so far towards Ron, his name had been mentioned.

“Yeah, I’m good... How’re the others?” He asked, glancing behind me.

“They’re fine- they’ve made up” I said, smiling slightly. “Jamie, you hungry?” He nodded so I stood up, summoned four plates from the kitchen and began to make breakfast. The eggs and bacon were on the cooker while I tried to toast the bread. It was a bit burnt but it would do. I started to plate it up.

“THE DUMBLEDORE WE THOUGHT WE KNEW DIDN’T WANT TO CONQUER MUGGLES BY FORCE!” Harry shouted, jump and shriek. I dropped the frying pan full of bacon over the floor, Jamie sat bolt- upright, smacking his head- like i had- and swearing. I stared over at the two by the door- Harry was pacing up and down while Hermione just stood in the door way.

“He changed, Harry, he changed!” I could hear the pleading in Hermione’s voice as she stared at him with wide eyes. “It’s as simple as that! Maybe he did believe these things when he was seventeen, but the whole of the rest his life was devoted to fighting the Dark Arts!” I was still as I stared over at them, watching with narrowed eyes. Jamie appeared beside me. “Dumbledore was the one who stopped Grindleward, the one who always voted for Muggle protection and Muggle-born rights, who fought You-Know-Who from the start and who died trying to bring him down!” I looked up at Jamie with a panicked expression that he didn’t see. “Harry, I’m sorry, but I think the real reason you’re so angry is that Dumbledore never told you any of this himself” Hermione’s voice was no longer pleading. It sounded slightly scared.

“MAYBE I AM!” Harry bellowed and I jumped again. “LOOK AT WHAT HE ASKED OF ME! RISK YOUR LIFE, HARRY! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND DON’T EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, JUST TRUST ME BLINDLY, TRUST THAT I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING, TRUST ME EVEN THOUGH I DON’T TRUST YOU! NEVER THE WHOLE TRUTH! NEVER!” It fell oddly silent as the snow was suddenly lit up- the sun had finally arrived.

“He loved you” Hermione said quietly. I saw Harry was about to retaliate.

“I know he loved you” I whispered and Harry turned to look at me.

“I don’t know who he loved,” Harry said quietly, his voice dripping in a bitter sadness. “But it was never me. This isn’t love, the mess he’s left me in. He shared a damn sight more of what he was thinking with Gellert Grindleward than he ever shared with me”

“Harry-” Hermione started as Harry bent to pick my wand up from the snow.

“Thanks for the tea. I’ll finish the watch. You get back into the warm. Sorry for waking you up, Jamie. And for scaring you, Alicia” I returned to the breakfast, which was now slightly cold. I warmed the plates up and handed them round the now silent tent.