Ok, tip. Don't have your writing in that colour. I can't read it! I tried but it was like, 'woah I'm blinded!' So yeah, different colour might help.

Otherwise, what I did manage to read, it was pretty good! The last line you said she could see Hogwarts, well I don't think they could, could they? Don't they stop at Hogsmeade and take the carriages up or the boats? Well I don't know, just a querie!

Ok, that was a ramble... Keep on writing!