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Tazenhani · 09-27-2010, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pink Ninja

Lexi stopped in her tracks and began to laugh. She laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. Then she wasn't sure if the tears were from rage, hurt, or the laughter but she let them flow as she laughed some more. "Oh yes, you are right as always, Sabel. Indeed. Everything is about me. Yep that is it. I didn't lose COUNTLESS MONTHS of sleep over the things I did to you and everyone else at this school. Hmmm? Yeah, I never feel bad about anything I do. I KNOW that I screw up, Sabel. I know that I am not as perfect as you would like for me to be. I am not as witty as you and STERN, but I am ME. You have to take the good with the bad and that is all I can tell you," she said as she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjamas. "And I do not recall treating you like dirt, Sabel. Your perception of the events are totally different from mine. I am inexcusable though, so I would imagine you would point out a flaw somewhere. I swear, I can't win for losing with you. I apologize and apologize, I try to make things right but it is NEVER enough. I am never enough," she said as she fought back the tears this time because she knew they were hurt showing through.

"And I choose to walk away to avoid saying hurtful things like I am right now. I don't WANT to fight, I want to cool down and try to speak about things rationally, which believe it or not, I can do. You just push me and push me until I act out. And your words are not the issue, they never are it is the HURTFUL manner in which you express them. Get that straight right now. And I never once pretended that you were anything I can toy with. Never. I am appalled that you would even say that to me... But oh wait, I shouldn't say how that makes ME feel right? Is that how this works? You get to say whatever you want and my reacting is merely my being selfish. Well know this, I have never cared for anyone's safety and well being the way I care for you, but you simply won't allow me to be there anymore. That is fine, you can block me out and hold my needing someone else's arms to hold me whie I cried because you kept telling me that I needed to get past it, let it go, blah blah blah... You will NEVER understand what I have been through. I am sorry that you can't get that through your skull. It was not that I didn't want your friendship, it was just that I needed someone that could relate to my problem. That is why Reese, Dylan, and I became so close, Sabel," she said her words coming out less heated. She was running out of steam. She was simply tired of it. Tired of it all.

She chuckled at him again and just shook her head, "Yeah, take a shot at me, Sabel. What you have to say about me no longer bothers me. I have seen all of the judegement in your eyes and heard what you have said here tonight. YOu finally got it all out. How you really feel. I hope it is satisfying. I truly do. I don't bloody need you anyway. I have people that actually care about me now and I am not promoting myself to anyone, Finlay and I are perfectly happy together and that is that."

Without having realized it her fists were clenched so hard that her fingernails had dug into the day old wounds on her hands and she was dripping fine little drops of blood on the floor around her. Oh she didn't even care. Running her hands over the legs of her pants she left the blood smears there and just shook her head. Walking back toward Sabel she said as she pushed past him, "This is me walking away... I have nothing more to say to you, Sabel Dakest. Whatever you feel about me now is evidently negative and I want no more of this." She waved her hands back and forth between them as she shouldered past him. She just didn't care anymore. She was so over it.

Twisting his words. That's what he felt like she was doing. Twisting and skewering them until they were lodged back in his throat and caught in his gullet. The rest, caught in his stomach for despite his rage he understood some of her words as true. Some. Perceptions were so skewed and opposite in this that it was like looking at a mirror and trying to figure out how to get the reflection to move the way you wanted it. Pointless, tiring and maddening.

But damn her and damn the blood that had started to drip and stain her clothes. Damn it all.

When she moved to shove by him, he stopped her, grabbing her wrist with a gentle firmness that simply told her to stop. No would not be taken for an answer as he drew her hand up and uncurled her fingers, inspecting the wounds upon her skin. Something inside stung for the injuries, while something else fed off his rage against her and fired at whoever had hurt her.

Slowly, he moved to step in front of her so she would have no where to go and pulled her other hand up between them. His eyes were on the blood, the wounds and the phsyical representation of pain. "I do not hate you because of who you are Lexi." His voice, though still thick with rage, was quieter, more controlled. "I hate you, because you never let me in." Gently, he drew his thumb over the wound to shift some of the blood so he could get a better idea of the severity of the injury. "And I imagine, it is the same for you."

09-27-2010, 12:52 AM	#100 (permalink)
Tazenhani DMLE & DoM Doxy Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6,150 Hogwarts RPG Name: Amur Neverwinter Fourth Year	~ Rise and Rise Again, Until Lambs become Lions ~ Quote: Originally Posted by Pink Ninja Lexi stopped in her tracks and began to laugh. She laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. Then she wasn't sure if the tears were from rage, hurt, or the laughter but she let them flow as she laughed some more. "Oh yes, you are right as always, Sabel. Indeed. Everything is about me. Yep that is it. I didn't lose COUNTLESS MONTHS of sleep over the things I did to you and everyone else at this school. Hmmm? Yeah, I never feel bad about anything I do. I KNOW that I screw up, Sabel. I know that I am not as perfect as you would like for me to be. I am not as witty as you and STERN, but I am ME. You have to take the good with the bad and that is all I can tell you," she said as she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjamas. "And I do not recall treating you like dirt, Sabel. Your perception of the events are totally different from mine. I am inexcusable though, so I would imagine you would point out a flaw somewhere. I swear, I can't win for losing with you. I apologize and apologize, I try to make things right but it is NEVER enough. I am never enough," she said as she fought back the tears this time because she knew they were hurt showing through. "And I choose to walk away to avoid saying hurtful things like I am right now. I don't WANT to fight, I want to cool down and try to speak about things rationally, which believe it or not, I can do. You just push me and push me until I act out. And your words are not the issue, they never are it is the HURTFUL manner in which you express them. Get that straight right now. And I never once pretended that you were anything I can toy with. Never. I am appalled that you would even say that to me... But oh wait, I shouldn't say how that makes ME feel right? Is that how this works? You get to say whatever you want and my reacting is merely my being selfish. Well know this, I have never cared for anyone's safety and well being the way I care for you, but you simply won't allow me to be there anymore. That is fine, you can block me out and hold my needing someone else's arms to hold me whie I cried because you kept telling me that I needed to get past it, let it go, blah blah blah... You will NEVER understand what I have been through. I am sorry that you can't get that through your skull. It was not that I didn't want your friendship, it was just that I needed someone that could relate to my problem. That is why Reese, Dylan, and I became so close, Sabel," she said her words coming out less heated. She was running out of steam. She was simply tired of it. Tired of it all. She chuckled at him again and just shook her head, "Yeah, take a shot at me, Sabel. What you have to say about me no longer bothers me. I have seen all of the judegement in your eyes and heard what you have said here tonight. YOu finally got it all out. How you really feel. I hope it is satisfying. I truly do. I don't bloody need you anyway. I have people that actually care about me now and I am not promoting myself to anyone, Finlay and I are perfectly happy together and that is that." Without having realized it her fists were clenched so hard that her fingernails had dug into the day old wounds on her hands and she was dripping fine little drops of blood on the floor around her. Oh she didn't even care. Running her hands over the legs of her pants she left the blood smears there and just shook her head. Walking back toward Sabel she said as she pushed past him, "This is me walking away... I have nothing more to say to you, Sabel Dakest. Whatever you feel about me now is evidently negative and I want no more of this." She waved her hands back and forth between them as she shouldered past him. She just didn't care anymore. She was so over it. Twisting his words. That's what he felt like she was doing. Twisting and skewering them until they were lodged back in his throat and caught in his gullet. The rest, caught in his stomach for despite his rage he understood some of her words as true. Some. Perceptions were so skewed and opposite in this that it was like looking at a mirror and trying to figure out how to get the reflection to move the way you wanted it. Pointless, tiring and maddening. But damn her and damn the blood that had started to drip and stain her clothes. Damn it all. When she moved to shove by him, he stopped her, grabbing her wrist with a gentle firmness that simply told her to stop. No would not be taken for an answer as he drew her hand up and uncurled her fingers, inspecting the wounds upon her skin. Something inside stung for the injuries, while something else fed off his rage against her and fired at whoever had hurt her. Slowly, he moved to step in front of her so she would have no where to go and pulled her other hand up between them. His eyes were on the blood, the wounds and the phsyical representation of pain. "I do not hate you because of who you are Lexi." His voice, though still thick with rage, was quieter, more controlled. "I hate you, because you never let me in." Gently, he drew his thumb over the wound to shift some of the blood so he could get a better idea of the severity of the injury. "And I imagine, it is the same for you." __________________ I've got a fire for a heart._________________________________________________ I'm not scared of the dark._________________________________________ _______________________________________You've never seen it look so easy.