I...didn't cry.
Instead, I felt the urge to punch Max in the face.
I mean, maybe Tibi and Susan needed some alone time, maybe that's why he chose to leave. But, he just abandoned them. First of all, he apparated, and I think that's a bit below the belt, seeing as Susan had no way to follow him. He didn't offer an explanation, which he owed them. He didn't say he was sorry. He didn't try to redo the protection spells. He didn't say ANYTHING. Plot device or not, Max is a coward.
I mean, how do they even know he's going to come back?
He could of at least promised them that.
I don't trust him.
Anyway, emotions aside, I thought this was very beautifully written (as always)! I especially loved the last four paragraphs. The way you used the "thump" word was as pretty as it was heart wrenching. And also, Tibi's response to being in Gryffindor.
That made me laugh.
I found two tiny typos, though, and I thought you might want to know about them:
Quote:
“Susan, for the last time, I can't.” He voice betrayed his frustration
Quote:
As she sat across the kitchen table from Tirion, he studied his face.
Otherwise, I think it's perfect.
