Firstly, my apologies Connie, but seeing your last post had regular type I assumed it was more replies and I never read it. I'm such a dork. I'm writing you about how you need to post and here I've been seeing a post for days now and I was completely oblivious to it ... Swear I'm too busy and my life and brain are over ...

Just a few corrections I noticed Connie, but otherwise, I loved your posts. I hope you don't mind me pointing them out.

I do this all the time, which is why I know it's wrong but read the sentence.

The Evenings are the subject of the sentence, but there's uhm not predicate. Nothing's happening in this sentence. You list who she sees, but not what happens to those evenings or Petunia, sorry. Maybe you meant to write something like this:

In the evenings after each day of seeing: the caterers, to decide what delectable delicacies are going to be served; the flower shops, to shop for the perfect bride's bouquet, bride's maids' arrangements, boutonnieres for lapels, rose petals to be dropped on the red carpet runway, gardenia trellises, and so on and so forth the list seemingly unending, Petunia would do something.

Everything I italicized I corrected. I always find it easier to fix other's grammar mistakes than my own I wrote the stuff so of course it's going to read right to me. Neways, the bride's bouquets needed the apostrophe because bride is possessive of bouquet. You're talking about the bouquet that belongs to the bride. Ditto bride's maid's arrangements. That one's more fun You see, the maids are possessed of the bride but the bouquets are the maids so the bride possesses the maids who possess the bouquets now that one would be hard for anyone to catch but grammar geeks like me Your was also should be a are because the wedding is in the future and not the past. Sorry.

Moving on ...

Here quotations enclose what someone says when they speak so technically it should read like this:

Since she doesn't say her eyes squinted that's not part of the quote and since it's not an aside in a sentence you don't need the (). :grin:

I totally ♥ Tom He's soooooooooo cute, and that's just the cutest thing ever.

Seriously, Kipper, Connie? I like Kipper

Firstly Vernon, don't ask questions you already know the answer to, you look a fool secondly, Connie, drunk dogs aren't allowed just kidding ... I love plastered pets you're so bad ...

I have to agree with harita the strikes were funny stuff, poor Ripper or whatever his name was ...

Next post.

If I wasn't already in love with Tom this would have clinched it You have a very strong sense of the comedic Connie and I love how you use it in your story. It lightens the mood.

It's 'accept his proposal', except is 'that is the exception not the rule.'

While the whole incident on the train with Lily and the man and the wife is very funny, too cute for words honestly and I loved it dearly, that paragraph there is another prime example of you telling when you need to show. It's jarring because you show us everything that happens up to that point and you show us afterwards as well. I don't know why you changed your tone here but it's weak. You should write it out like:

The woman on the other side of him glared at each of them in turn, then jerked the man away from Lily and told her, "I don't care how happy you are, get your own man this one is taken!"

You're saying her words for her, why don't you let her do it herself.

Here also, you're writing a story not stage directions so the (pause), should be written out as, "he paused" or "there was a pause" and technically a pause is between two somethings so he should have said something right after too.

^^This sentence is just cumbersome. I had to read it a few times to tell what you were saying.



And the last sentence needs to end in closing quotes Sorry, I'll shut up now.

I loved the descriptions for the wedding, even though it was Petunia's wedding, one wishes her the best of luck Still, it's hard to imagine her and Vernon young and in love, no? LOL But everything with Marge was good, right down to the namby pamby

Lots of kewlness ensued in these two posts and I can see where your writing has become stronger and more confident, which is always a good thing. As a writer Connie I think you should always write with the authority of a god, even if you do write wrong ... I mean ... whose going to dispute it, right? It's your story?

You're really growing as a writer Connie, I'm impressed with your story and how you present it. The little mistakes are the same we all make, Kelly keeps finding teeny tiny spelling errors in my posts ... But what matters is the prose and how you use it, and you're definitely using it more artfully and that's what matters. I'm sorry, again, I wasn't here earlier, I'm such a loser. I ♥ Tom though ...

ttyl,