12-26-2009, 03:27 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Mooncalf
Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Boston
Posts: 6,674
Hogwarts RPG Name: Hazel Martin-Pryce First Year Diagon Alley Proprietor:
Scout MacIntyre Daily Prophet Reporter x4
| Granddaddy Ravenclaw | | Jermione Granger I'm drafting the next chapter now, so hopefully before Jan 1 you'll get some more. In the meantime, quotes! Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoerawrr Yayyyyy! This is amzing! You sure can write.
I got scared when there was no cry, even though you actually play Tibi now.
I love it, and I definitely can't wait for more *nuzzles* Heh. ME TOO. *squishes his Tibi and keeps him safe.* Quote:
Originally Posted by aussiegirl Why did you not tell me that you had wrote this?*
I knew you were good Jeremie, I didn't realise just how much until now.
Awesome beginning and I cannot wait to read more. *blushes* I didn't tell you? Erm. Well, now you know. Quote:
Originally Posted by redifer Wow! Jeremie... Simply wow. This has been added to my stalk list! Oo. A stalker. <3 Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginarynumb3rs You know a story is good when you're so involved that you start mentally shouting directions at the characters and are itching to jump in and help.
Anyway, Jeremie, I loved your story so much! You're such an amazing writer! In just one chapter of writing, you really make the reader feel attached to the characters. Like Zoe said, when Tibi didn't breath- and the whole car scene too- I was like, glued to the computer screen. I knew Tibi wasn't going to die, and I knew his mom wasn't going to die, but I still couldn't help feeling extremely anxious. It reminded me of my little brother, only he was born late instead of early. I got this image of tiny Tibi in one of those baby incubators, drowning in all the little tubes.
I'd tell you what my favorite parts where, but that'd be hard, because I love it all! (though I really liked the first two paragraphs, especially the second. I liked the description of the stars, because I could picture it perfectly. It was something I, as the reader, could connect to it, and I think it made the story much more realistic and special for me.)
Ahhhhh- the ending was so sweet! I love it. But it made me depressed because I know the sad parts coming, and I don't want it to. Oh man, thinking about Tibi in the lil premmie incubators seriously makes me all mushy.
Spoiler: There's at least another chapter of happy... sooooo, dun worry about it yet.
__________________
Has anyone ever sung you a lullaby?
You can fly above the rain clouds
Close your eyes Let the melody carry you
Leave all your fears behind You can float across a rainbow sky
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