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Originally Posted by
##Hermione&Draco## 
Helena Ravenclaw..The daughter of one of the Four Great Founders
That's a heady topic ...
you don't pick the simple stuff do you? I like that ... I'm just happy to write a happy love poem ... you do epic. Wow.
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A pale white body floats through the walls of Hogwarts..
She is the daughter of one..of the four great founders...
Under her ghostly transparent white dress..
is a large mark just below her chest..
That reminds her what happened to her and the reason she is dead..
That is a beautiful introduction.
I like how you introduce her, give us her title and tell us it's the story of a ghost and the way she died ... it's cool how you're up front about the whole but we have to read the poem to find out exactly how and why that is. Nice intro.
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I wish I was her..
and let everybody admire me..
Nobody else..
Not even my mother.
Envy kills. It's really tragic too that it's her mother she envies.
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The candlelight was brighting up my darkened room..
The cold breeze blew hard..
so I got to my feet and closed the window.
It's like the scene mimics her heart's feelings ... sad.
No good can come of greed ... Nice setting and story ...
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I laid here by an old oak tree..
with no one gazing at me..
"What Happened?!"
I have the crown...
"But where are the people who are suppose to be gazing at me?"
Im beautiful..
and clever..
"Why havent people been crowding me?"
I took off the crown..
I think I'm just ugly..
That part there is the saddest. She thought her beauty wrapped up in a crown when in truth her desire made her ugly and her wicked scheming and stealing made her evil ... pity.
Just call me Aesop. I'm full of morals.
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"If you dont want me nobody can have you.."
He took a dagger fom deep within his pocket..
"NO! I BEG YOU! DONT!"
The last things I heard were..
"Your too late my dear Helena.."
And he stabbed me and I was dead.
Greed comes back to haunt the greedy, no? Tragedy times two. This is sadly ironic and cool. Wow. Poor thing ...
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But it wasnt over..
The Baron looked at his love and saw what he had done..
And then he felt her blood..
A teardrop fell..
He held the dagger in his hand and stabbed himself to his own death..
All he wanted was for them to be together..
Now they laid there..
They were together..
But they were dead...
Thats the tragic story of Helena Ravenclaw..
The daughter of one of the four great founders..
And her ghost remains at Hogwarts..
She is now known as The Grey Lady..
And your ending like your introduction is beautiful as well. You close it the way you started it so it's circular and I love the tragic poignancy of the whole piece ...
nice work Xavier ... uhm, but how's about a lovely love poem from Harry to Ginny or something? Just to lighten the mood? No? LOL Love your stuff ... keep it up.