Random Teddy Fact: According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Short replies then the post you've all been waiting for ... THEN another long wait Sorry, y'all I'm still working on what follows. This was originally going to appear later in flashback but ... the events following this post made it somewhat ... uhm, impossible. Yeah, because by the time I got around to interjecting this flashback it really wouldn't have mattered ... [*/is purposely vague]

That said ... Random Teddy Fact: Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

LilyLunaGinnyPotter: Thank you but Did you know ... Random Teddy Fact: Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.


hermionesclone: Kita, I don't know about Otty being lucky just yet ... as for Teddy he's ... well he'll be in the upcoming posts let's just say. Until then, Kita, I leave you with this Random Teddy Fact: Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Connie: Connie if Angel were a card he'd be ... the King of Hearts? or a knave you decide, later But for now ... oh you know what's coming ... Random Teddy Fact: Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

KellyBear: Random Teddy Fact: When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

HannahLongbottom: Hey Hannah, I'm still working on my entry but ... Random Teddy Fact: Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

♥ Chuck Norris Loves this fic Honest! ♥

Chapter: Chuck Norris is Dumbledore! <<<Don't look unless you want a spoiler.

Ron’s body lay on the floor convulsing as invisible knives cut his skin again and again not deep enough to inflict major damage but not so close to the skin as to only sting. Luna’s eyes pleaded with the werewolf boy to stop and his smile seemed to weaken as he caught her gaze and he said, “Finite Incantatem,” if somewhat reluctantly.

Hermione lay on her knees on the street, her hair in her face and on her face a tired look but in her eyes a fire of utter defiance. Bellatrix laughed. The girl’s spark of bravado incensed her but, she admired it as well.

“You … you can’t … you won’t get away … with this,” Hermione exclaimed, “There’ll … be … others.”

“Stop it you vicious witch!” Harry yelled at the top of his lungs.

Ginny for her part had her eyes closed to everything, she was silently mumbling something over and over again.

“What’s with this little one? Saying her prayers is she?” the Death Eater, a Cornelius Gracewell, taunted.

“I’d rather think you’d be doing that,” Ginny answered him opening her eyes. She wiped her sweaty brow and shoved one of her brother’s wet start firecrackers in the Death Eaters pants.

“What did you do you filthy little …” as the man fished around for it he let her go and throwing a few at the puddles on the ground she grabbed his wand and would have fired it off but

“Expelliarmus,” another Death Eater cried.

Ginny grabbed her hand which stung.

Cornelius screamed as the firecracker went off in his pants, the others started hopping around trying to avoid them and Bellatrix made the mistake of trying to make them stop thereby multiplying them. A cacophony of sound and light emblazoned the streets. Dragons and sprites flew through the air popping and exploding into starry nights and exploding rainbows, a thousand tiny super novas whistling and taunting the Death Eaters. The distraction was enough that Harry slammed both his heels on the Wall’s feet and that as anyone whose had it done to them can attest was very painful. Screaming he released the boy who grabbed Hermione.

“Come on Granger, we’re not done yet,” he said and helped her to her feet. He screamed out in a moment and fell on the ground as Fenrir tore his back with his claws.

Luna walked up to the werewolf boy and slapped him hard across the face. He looked at her ashamed. But another Death Eater slapped Luna back knocking her to the ground.

“Enough of this!” Bellatrix yelled. “Kill everyone of them except Potter! The Dark Lord wants him!”

“Just what I wanted to hear,” Fenrir exclaimed transforming fully into a werewolf before Hermione’s eyes. She screamed in terror and bending down next to Harry pulled him closer to her trying to get him away from the creature.

“Enough indeed,” a voice rang out in the night.

The sky trembled as dark clouds parted and a lightning bolt crashed down into the middle of the street tearing it apart creating a crater like a broken eggshell. “How dare you come after my students,” rang a familiar voice all of the children recognized.

At the start of every term its kind, gravelly tones welcomed them to Hogwarts and pressed on them the values of a good education but, never, as stern as that voice might become had they heard it so wrought with anger.

The fireworks cease sparking and the boy, for indeed he was not yet a man, holding Ginny Weasley by her hair let her go. He fell to the floor asleep stung by a buzzing mechanical bee.

“It’s Dumbledore,” another Death Eater exclaimed. The one who had been spelled by Bellatrix before with the Cruciatus curse. He was next to fall suddenly bound in magical ropes that appeared from nowhere.

“Don’t just stand there fools, do something!” Bellatrix exclaimed, firing fiendfyre.

Dumbledore batted the spell aside with ease, where it struck the ground flowers appeared. Where Maxie Zeus the werewolf boy stood the ground beneath his feet began to tremble and break apart. A giant arm made of stone lifted Ron and Luna in it’s grasp and it grew up out of the ground away from the Death Eaters. The werewolf boy gave Dumbledore a sheepish grin and ran away into shadows.

Spells began to fly from the remaining Death Eaters and Dumbledore swatted them aside easily, rebounded them, or merely made them disappear.

“You can tell your master that if he dares to strike at my students again I will come after him myself,” Dumbledore roared.

“You’re an old man, you are, wizard,” Fenrir replied. “You can stop our spells but you can’t …” before he could finish he fell to the floor stunned.

“Who fights and runs lives to fight another day,” the Wall said as he disapparated.

“No, you do not,” Dumbledore exclaimed casting a spell to render apparating impossible. Still it was too late, the Wall had escaped.

“Bellatrix, you were such a promising student … I’ve always thought it a pity that you ended up this way.”

“Yes, well, I always thought it a pity I couldn’t kill you,” and she fired another killing curse which Dumbledore deflected with a car.

Cornelius grabbing his crotch lifted his wand but fell to the ground as Ginny slammed the back of his head with a tire iron. The Death Eater fell to the ground knocked out.

“Accio wands,” Dumbledore exclaimed and the children’s wands returned to their respective users. “You are outnumbered Bellatrix.”

“And you’re an honorable old fool, Dumbledore,” she exclaimed holding Hermione by the throat Harry lying on the floor bleeding looking at her with helpless eyes trying to think of a spell to hurt the Death Eater without hurting Hermione.

Out of nowhere aurors started to step out of shadows, first Kingsley Shacklebolt, flanked at his side by his partner Tonks, then Mr. Weasley, and members of the Order of the Phoenix as well, Hagrid, Remus Lupin and Nicholas Black.

“‘Arry,” the tall lumbering half giant exclaimed running to pick up the boy. He helped him to his feet as Bellatrix backed away with Hermione. “‘Don’t you ‘urt ‘Ermione you vicious …”

“Oh shut it you blathering idiot,” Bellatrix said sending a stunning spell at Hagrid. Being half giant, however the spell had little enough effect.

“No one do anything,” Dumbledore’s voice commanded.

Tonks, Ginny noted, was suddenly curiously absent.

“Ginny love,” her father said suddenly whisking her into his arms, “Your mother is going to kill you,” and with those words Mrs. Weasley appeared bawling from a side street.

“Tell me to wait it out, not when my babies are … oh, Ginny,” she cried tears of joy and sadness rushing down her face. “Where’s Ronald, and Harry … Luna …” It broke Harry’s heart to hear her wailing voice like a mother whose lost all her children.

“You’re not getting out of this Bellatrix,” Dumbledore warned.

“But that’s where you’re horribly wrong old man,” she said, as she stood next to a man hole, peeping out of a hole in the man hole was a little pink mouse.

What happened next happened quickly. Bellatrix dropped a night bomb which exploded enshrouding everything in darkest night, Tonks transformed and pulled Hermione away from the witch who fired a killing curse and Bellatrix disappeared down the man hole.

“Lumos maximus!” Dumbledore exclaimed and the darkest night was replaced with the moonlight and the soft shinning beam from the end of his wand.

“Where’s my little Ronniekins, where’s my Ronald?” Mrs. Weasley cried hysterically.

“He’s all right Molly,” Dumbledore assured her, causing the giant stone arm that had come up out of the ground to fall back into the earth. Ron lay there his head resting on Luna’s legs bleeding slowly but breathing steadily. Luna had a black eye and her mouth was bleeding, her wand behind one ear.

Mrs. Weasley ran to his side immediately and she started to tend to his wounds.

“Are you all right, Hermione?” Tonks asked her. Hagrid took Harry closer to her.

“Yes, Hermione how are you?”

The girl whose defiant eyes had faced down death saw the broken glasses and the hurt on her best mates face. “Re.. re … reparo.” She said and Harry’s glasses were new again.

“I guess that means …” but before Harry could finish she had flung herself into his arms in an embrace and she was crying unashamedly and though her arms were wrapped so tight they touched the gashes on Harry’s back he said nothing silently thankful that his friends had all made it out alive, yet again.



*ahem* And on that note ... or rather this one: Random Teddy Fact: What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”. I leave you, to return again one hopes, someday, with a new post