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Maxilocks · 09-03-2009, 06:27 AM

The Wishlist Wagon
Written for SotS Magazine [issue, December 07].

They say tailing Pogrebins seldom bite, and it seems they don't lie about it, either. Digging through a wizarding pile of Christmas wishlists, Graffiti has just discovered some that prove flobberworms can dress in werewolf costumes just often as vice versa! The Dark side isn't all that morbid, you know. Fasten your seatbelts, 'cause here we go.

_______

Wishlist Severus:

1 pound of crushed beetles. (Possibly spiked with poison and 'accidentally' fed to Lucius Malfoy.)
A copy of Six Fail-Proof Ways to Charm Women.
A copy of Hairy Tales: How to Get Rid of Dandruff in a Jiffy.

The ability to run faster when faced with shampoo.
Pink boxer shorts.

Wishlist Voldemort:

Two bottles of sherry. (All the evilness does exhaust me so.)
Wizarding dominion over Chanel. (Those pretty skirts they have! All mine, all mine, ALL MINE!)
A copy of Twenty Ways to Get Rid of Evil Snakes that are Too Clever for You. (Thank God Nagini can't read.)
An Internet connection (P30pl3 r s0 gunna luff it wh3n I set up mah ownnn SS account, pplz. YES! Fame n' over 385448775874854854 hits per day, here I come. W00tagezzz! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Wishlist Lucius:

A BMW. (Such status symbols, those cars. I MUST have one.)
A small, violet goatee. (Girls do fall for it so, I've heard.)

Note by Narcissa: Lucius, you sneak! I knew it, you cheater! You wait, purple goatee and all.

Lucius (hasty scribble): It's violet, my love. You misunderstand me.

Narcissa (three hours later): I do, do I? Then where the HECK are you hiding? Tell me NOW, or I tell Voldie how you blushed that other day when ...

Lucius: O___o No! In the kitchen. *sigh* Err - do you have long fingernails, by any chance?

Narcissa: Very.

Lucius: Ouch.

Wishlist Draco:

Blonde highlights - Wait, my hair's already blonde. FF0033, then. (Muggle hex codes are love.)
~~High heels.~~ Err, new shoes.
A copy of Biology for Beginners: Basics of The Human Body. (I do wonder what makes my little toe so ... odd.)
A copy of The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot. (Dark Arts books are just so boring, what with all the curses and crazy looking people.)
A new teddy (That stupid house-elf threw out my last one.)

Wishlist Bellatrix:

That Potter boy. Ooh, if I could just get my hands on him. - growl -
~~Voldie under the mistletoe.~~ Erm, I mean, uhh ... whatever.
ORANGES! Yes, oranges! To help me in my plan of world dominion. MWAHAHAHA!
That boy next door's sort of hot ... *blush*
A cool, new book on curses. You, wait, Lucius, I'll pay you back for ruining it all for me at the Ministry.

Lucius: I already have your sister to deal with, Bella. Long fingernails?

Bellatrix: Yes. Very.

Lucius: Ouch.

09-03-2009, 06:27 AM	#95 (permalink)
Maxilocks SS Featured Author Türk Bilgini Bugbear Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith} Posts: 31,791 Hogwarts RPG Name: Sarani Glass Graduated x12	Seven <3 ♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ] The Wishlist Wagon Written for SotS Magazine [issue, December 07]. They say tailing Pogrebins seldom bite, and it seems they don't lie about it, either. Digging through a wizarding pile of Christmas wishlists, Graffiti has just discovered some that prove flobberworms can dress in werewolf costumes just often as vice versa! The Dark side isn't all that morbid, you know. Fasten your seatbelts, 'cause here we go. _______ Wishlist Severus: 1 pound of crushed beetles. (Possibly spiked with poison and 'accidentally' fed to Lucius Malfoy.) A copy of Six Fail-Proof Ways to Charm Women. A copy of Hairy Tales: How to Get Rid of Dandruff in a Jiffy. The ability to run faster when faced with shampoo. Pink boxer shorts. Wishlist Voldemort: Two bottles of sherry. (All the evilness does exhaust me so.) Wizarding dominion over Chanel. (Those pretty skirts they have! All mine, all mine, ALL MINE!) A copy of Twenty Ways to Get Rid of Evil Snakes that are Too Clever for You. (Thank God Nagini can't read.) An Internet connection (P30pl3 r s0 gunna luff it wh3n I set up mah ownnn SS account, pplz. YES! Fame n' over 385448775874854854 hits per day, here I come. W00tagezzz! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) Wishlist Lucius: A BMW. (Such status symbols, those cars. I MUST have one.) A small, violet goatee. (Girls do fall for it so, I've heard.) Note by Narcissa: Lucius, you sneak! I knew it, you cheater! You wait, purple goatee and all. Lucius (hasty scribble): It's violet, my love. You misunderstand me. Narcissa (three hours later): I do, do I? Then where the HECK are you hiding? Tell me NOW, or I tell Voldie how you blushed that other day when ... Lucius: O___o No! In the kitchen. sigh Err - do you have long fingernails, by any chance? Narcissa: Very. Lucius: Ouch. Wishlist Draco: Blonde highlights - Wait, my hair's already blonde. FF0033, then. (Muggle hex codes are love.) ~~High heels.~~ Err, new shoes. A copy of Biology for Beginners: Basics of The Human Body. (I do wonder what makes my little toe so ... odd.) A copy of The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot. (Dark Arts books are just so boring, what with all the curses and crazy looking people.) A new teddy (That stupid house-elf threw out my last one.) Wishlist Bellatrix: That Potter boy. Ooh, if I could just get my hands on him. - growl - ~~Voldie under the mistletoe.~~ Erm, I mean, uhh ... whatever. ORANGES! Yes, oranges! To help me in my plan of world dominion. MWAHAHAHA! That boy next door's sort of hot ... blush A cool, new book on curses. You, wait, Lucius, I'll pay you back for ruining it all for me at the Ministry. Lucius: I already have your sister to deal with, Bella. Long fingernails? Bellatrix: Yes. Very. Lucius: Ouch. Last edited by Maxilocks; 09-03-2009 at 06:33 AM.