SnitchSeeker.com - View Single Post - Poetry: Rania's Leather Bound Journal

Maxilocks · 08-20-2009, 02:25 AM

Nice, new work, sweetie. I haven't read all of it yet, but I'm commenting on some of what I have read, right now. <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rania

Secrets -
your secrets are sweet and soft
like the midnight moon grinning down at the sun.

Very imaginative. Nice simile, too.

Quote:

Passing by you wink, my muse.
Strolling by you smile, you sly devil, you.

I found this one of the weaker bits of the poem. The first line quoted is delicious, but the second line seems to disrupt the flow of the whole thing. But the poem on the whole makes up splendidly for it.

Quote:

These secrets
only create more secrets.

This was an amazing ending. It seems to sum up so much, really. Great finish, let's have a round of applause here. <3

08-20-2009, 02:25 AM	#29 (permalink)
Maxilocks SS Featured Author Türk Bilgini Bugbear Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith} Posts: 31,791 Hogwarts RPG Name: Sarani Glass Graduated x12	♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ] Nice, new work, sweetie. I haven't read all of it yet, but I'm commenting on some of what I have read, right now. <3 Quote: Originally Posted by Rania Secrets - your secrets are sweet and soft like the midnight moon grinning down at the sun. Very imaginative. Nice simile, too. Quote: Passing by you wink, my muse. Strolling by you smile, you sly devil, you. I found this one of the weaker bits of the poem. The first line quoted is delicious, but the second line seems to disrupt the flow of the whole thing. But the poem on the whole makes up splendidly for it. Quote: These secrets only create more secrets. This was an amazing ending. It seems to sum up so much, really. Great finish, let's have a round of applause here. <3