Ashby could only think to do one thing: smack himself in the forehead and rub his eyes so his face made a nasty squishy sound like when you pull your cheeks away from your face over and over really quickly (please try it )

"I need to get out of my office more," he muttered. "Umm, thank you, Miss Toussaint."

"The pitch too?!" he half-squealed. Not the pitch! That was the one part of Hogwarts (other than his classroom and his office) that he loved the most! For shame!

"Yummy?" the rotund man asked, snapping back to his class. Oh yes, he had been teaching. Yummy? Shortbread? Mmmmm....

"That could be fun, but I'm not sure the charm would work after that."

Utterly shocked by how anti-social and aloof he had been thus far, Ian's mouth gaped open a little. "Oh my. Let's hope the water doesn't reach this high!"

Mental Note: Talk to the rest of the staff about what the heck is going on.

"Childe, you must understand that I am a very busy man, and happen to have locked myself in my office for the past....very long time...doing work. I assure you, though, that I will educate myself on the going ons of this school soon enough."

'Twas true. How had he allowed himself to become so far removed?

"Oh my! I really have been living under a rock! I haven't read this magazine! However, it sounds as though I'll have to speak to these two professors." Ian's head was spinning. Or maybe it was the room. Or maybe Ian just needed some air. His office wasn't that well ventilated.

"My boy, I don't think they could have plaigiarized the idea from me, since I'm not the one who came up with this spell. Wouldn't it be nice if I could convince someone of that, though?"

"As intriguing as this sounds, students, I think it's time we return to the lesson, don't you?"

"As far as spells go, yes, this is the only thing we will be learning today, girls, however, I'll try to make it more fun than just a ho-hum theoretical lesson about charms. We approach things very hands-on here at Hogwarts, as you can see." He motioned toward the floating ink bottles and quills to prove to the girls that he was no Ministry-approved professor. No, sir.

"Marauder's Map? Child, where have you heard of this map? I've never even heard of such a thing."

Ian switched his focus back to strawberry cheesecake. No. The lesson. Yes, he was here to teach.

"Well, class, as many of your pupils pointed out, the incantation for the charm is Aparecium. However, this is not to be confused with the root word, appareo, which is Latin for appear." Ian didn't want to mention it to the class because he was there to teach charms and not grammar, but to appear was the infinitive form of the verb, and would require a change in the ending of the word. He couldn't quite remember what it was. Apparare? Apparere? But that was beside the point.

"So, just for some background on the spell, it is used mostly to reveal invisible ink, such as the kind that is used in secret notes or the diaries of young children. However, it can also be used to reveal other invisible things. Today, though, we will just be working with invisible ink, as it is the most basic and common subject with which to work.

"So, class, let's all first say the incantation. a-par-EE-see-um!" As he said the incantation, Ian touched the blackboard with his wand, and the incantation of the spell was revealed in chalk he had charmed to write invisibly.

While he waited for the chorus of correct and incorrect pronunciations of the incantation, he twiddled his wand through his fingers, sending a small shower of sparks flitting toward the ground.

"In order for this charm to work, you merely touch the tip of your wand to the parchment or whatever surface it is you are trying to make reveal its message.

"Are there any questions?"