Hey guys, sorry it took me a couple of days and thanks for being amazing readers as always!!! This chapter is kind of dealing with inner problems but a action chapter is coming next, I promise... Please tell me what you think about this one.

Chapter 17

The day that Harry came backwith James nothing happened to upset them or to ruin their happiness. Almost every member of the Weasley family came by the Potter residence and they were all pretty thrilled that the boy was back. Mrs. Weasley and Roxanne just couldn't get enough of him just like his mum couldn't and he spend most of his day next to one of them, since they weren't leaving him from their eyes. He didn't mind though.
He didn't mind being the centre of attention and he didn't mind the excess of affection he was getting from everyone. It felt right to be back home, back with the people he knew that will never hurt him and that will always care for him, back with his family. It felt like a dream; or rather everything that had happened felt like a nightmare.
He couldn't eat properly, since the wounds on his hands didn't allow him to hold a fork or a knife. Teddy had looked at them and said that it wouldn't be healthy just to make them disappear with a spell; he could get an infection. So, he gave him an ointment, that would heal the cut by time; same with the cuts on his torso. James though resented that and not just because everyone got all sympathetic and sorry when they'd see thw scars.
Those wounds reminded him of everything. They were like a chain around him that drew him back there, to that castle, away from this dream. The truth was though that he couldn't remember much from when he was tied up in that chair. All he remembered was blood and their laughter and pain and wishing he could be dead; still those were enough. Enough to get haunted by ans enough to make him jump every time someone approached him from behind. He wished his father could cast a spell on him and erase everything but how could he ask without admitting that everything wasn't okay with him to his father or to himself? And it got worse at night.
At night when everybody was gone he was left by his own in his room. His mum had offered to stay with him but he had sent her away. Why had he sent her away? Last night with his father sleeping in a chair next to him was different. Besides the fact that he was back home now, besides the fact that he was in his room, besides the fact that the people he most cherished slept in the bedrooms down the hall, he had never feel more vulnerable and weak.
He was covered with two blankets in spit the summer and the heat. He couldn't sleep; he wanted to, but he couldn't. He kept seeing Death Eaters emerging from the dark corners of his room and every time he closed his eyes he kept feeling hands grabbing him and his screams were echoing in his ears. Screaming...
Was he screaming now or he was just hearing himself screaming back then? He didn't know; all he knew was that if he wasn't screaming now he should be, because he felt that it would liberate him. He lay silent though; his fear and anguish building inside him. He thought what his dad said that bravery was the strength to overcome your fears; but how would he overcome this? Jokes and acting casual wouldn't help him now.
The night went by and it was almost six in the morning when James finally fell asleep. But the nightmares wouldn't let him forget.

The next morning James was supposed to go to the Ministry with his father, so he only got to sleep for two hours because they had to be there at nine. He got up from the bed, feeling the world spinning around him. He regained his balance and looked at his reflection in the mirror. There were black bags beneath his eyes and his whole face was pale, probably because staying awake for almost all night is not the best thing to do after you almost bled to death.
He sighed and pulled his sweaty shirt off. He walked to the closet to search for something he could wear. As he opened it he looked at the spot where his guitar usually was. He had lost it along with his broom when the Death Eaters were chasing him. With a jolt he realized he didn't have a wand either. Being with his father he didn't need to use any magic of his ownand he hadn't realized it till now. Great. The most valuable objects he had were all gone.
"Hey, James, can you...?" Albus said entering the room without knocking but stopped.
James turned to face him and he realized that his brother was looking startled at the cuts and bruises on him. James turned away and pulled the first shirt he found in front of him on, feeling an unexplainable anger filling him inside.
"Haven't I told you to knock?" he said to his brother.
"What? Yeah, sorry", the boy replied. Usually when James told him to knock, Albus was mocking him, but he didn't today; and that made James even more irritated. His brother had the same sympathetic, pitiful look all the others had when they looked at him; he hated that.
"What do you want?" he asked him, trying to control the anger that was building inside him.
"What...? Nothing, never mind", the boy replied shaking his head. "James, are you okay?"
"I'm fine" James said; Albus must had gotten the anger in his voice, because he bit his lower lip, he didn't give up though.
"Are you sure? Maybe you should tell dad to take you to the hospital or..."
"I TOLD YOU I'M FINE!" James yelled irritated.
"Okay, sorry", the boy said hastily.
"Stop looking at me like this", James told him.
"Like what?"
"Like you've never seen me again in your entire life, Al!"
"Sorry", the boy said again; James felt ready to explode. He didn't want his brother to be sorry, he wanted him to get angry, he wanted to have an excuse to yell at someone.
"Oh, I bet you are", he said ironically. "Really, since when do you inform strangers about what's happening in our family?"
"What?" Albus asked confused.
"Scorpius told me you told him about the argument I had with dad!" James said.
"I...he's my friend and...I just mentioned it to him...I didn't want to..." Albus mumbled trying to defend himself.
"Did we have anything to do with you business? Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut?"
"Oh, I was the one who should have kept his mouth shut?" Albus said in an angry voice; James had succeeded to his accomplishment. "You were the one who opened your mouth and didn't know what you were saying to dad!"
"Dad said he forgives me and we're okay now", James informed him. "But I guess that you don't like that, right?"
"What do you mean?" Albus asked confused.
"OH, COME ON!" James exclaimed indignantly. "Like you weren't always trying to be dad's favorite kid! What do you think? That if dad likes, then the rest of the world will too?"
"I never...I'm happy that you and dad are getting along..." Albus said bemused. "How can you think...?"
"Yeah, go ahead and tell me I'm wrong. You're always wanted to be right anyway!"
"I DON'T!" Albus yelled. "Why are you picking on me?"
"It was time for someone to do it!" James said; his anger had taken complete control over him and the worse was that he knew his brother really well and he knew exactly what to say to hurt him. "Or did you think that everyone will bow in front of you? You're only a useless, pathetic, twofaced piece of scum Al and you know it!"
"Why are you talking to me like this?" Albus asked him, tears falling from his eyes. His hurt look wasn't going to stop James though; it felt good causing pain at someone else, it was like he was transmitting his pain and anguish to him. It felt good seeing somebody else crying for once.
"Wanna know why? Because you deserve it!" he told him. The door opened again and their mother walked in.
"What's going on? Why are you two...? Al, are you okay?" Ginny asked looking at her youngest son's face. The boy didn't respond and he stormed out. Ginny turned to her other son. "James..."
"What?" he said irritated.
"What did you say to him?"
"Nothing! It's not my fault that he gets hurt over nothing, is it?"
"James..." Ginny said again warningly.
And as the boy looked at his mother, the anger building inside him faded away and all that was left behind was a big, dark and deep void and he was falling in it. He bit his lower lip, felling his eyes welling up. For a few moments he couldn't breathe from the suffocating feeling that the void inside him was sucking him.
"I...I can't, mum...I just can't..." he said shaking his head and allowing the tears he was holding back all night to fall.
Ginny crossed the room and hugged him. James held on to her for dear life.
"It's gonna be okay, baby, it's gonna be okay", Ginny whispered stroking his hair.
"I...I didn't mean to upset Al...I just needed someone to let my anger on..."
"I know, honey", Ginny nodded kissing his forehead.
They just stayed like this; Ginny trying to calm her son down. Then Harry came; he stopped at the door watching them.
"What's going on?" he asked and they turned to look at him. "Jamie, are you okay?"
"I'm better now", he nodded, managing a watering smile. "I'll get ready for the Ministry...you go see Al and...tell him I'm sorry".
Harry did as James told him and a few seconds later he was knocking on Albus' door. He didn't get a response so he just opened the door. The boy was sitting next to the window with his legs pulled close to his chest.
"Al, are you okay?" Harry asked him as he closed the door and approached him. The boy raised his head and looked at him.
"I guess", he shrugged. "Dad, why does James hate me so much?"
"He doesn't hate you", Harry said nodding negatively.
"Then why was he like that today? All I did was to ask him if he was okay when I saw the cuts on him".
"Alby, your brother had been through a lot during this last week...he almost died", Harry tried to explain. "Yeah", he nodded when Albus looked at him taken aback. "He almost died; because the Death Eaters tortured him so badly. He has a lot of anger inside him and he just...he just used you as a punching bag".
"So, you're saying that he doesn't have any issues with me?"
"He doesn't" Harry nodded. "He told me to tell you he's sorry".
Albus sighed.
"I feel like we're falling apart, dad", he said. "All of us... this thing has to end".
"I know", Harry nodded. "And I want it to end more than anyone, believe me, but I don't know how. All I know is that the Death Eaters will pay for what they did to Jamie and that I won't let any of you to get hurt again...and that's a promise".
"Fine, then, I believe you", the boy smiled.

-Angie-