It was early and Hermione was having a bad hair day. "How am I going to squish all this down in order to look presentable?" she asked Luna Lovegood in despair.
"Try taking a toot on this," Luna said, holding out a strange, golden colored flower with a distinct trumpet shape on the end.
"What's wrong?", Hermione asked Luna. "You seem more subdued than usual."
"Oh, it's just that Neville's psycho ex-girlfriend is coming back to Hogwarts," Luna sighed. "I just found out this morning and I don't know what to do. I guess you could say that I'm in a real pickle!"
Just then, a brightly colored ladybug flew into the room. "Don't worry, Luna, I love you and I want to marry you," the tiny creature chirped, then fluttered towards Hermione. "Oh hi! I'm Phil." Phil then turned his attention back to Luna. "I reallly do want to marry you, Luna, and as soon as possible!", he sang out.
"Well, call me crazy, but I want to marry you too!" Luna laughed.
Hermione thought Luna had really lost her mind this time, and decided to go and have a talk with Neville.
As Neville listened to the story, you could see jealousy forming in his eyes. "She's actually going to marry this Phil?", Neville exclaimed. "I always thought she cared about me, and vice versa. How could she do this to me?"
"It's probably because your old girlfriend is coming back to Hogwarts, I would imagine," Hermione said honestly.
"Oh, her," Neville sighed. "Luna doesn't have to worry, she's completely nuts."
"Whatever," Hermione said, wondering whether Neville was referring to his ex-girlfriend or to Luna herself.
Just then Harry burst into the room wearing, of all things, a short, frilly hot pink dress with puffed sleeves.
"Harry! What is going on?", Hermione exclaimed at the sight. Harry looked quite ridiculous. "That's not a good color for you!"
"I'm afraid I lost a dare with Ron," Harry grumbled. "I never should have made that stupid bet to begin with."
"What bet?", asked Hermione, then could only stare again as Pansy Parkinson, of all people, strolled into the room and began to loudly sing "Material Girl" by Madonna.
Quote:
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think theyre o.k.
If they dont give me proper credit
I just walk away
They can beg and they can plead
But they cant see the light, thats right
cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always mister right, cause we are
Chorus:
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
Thats all right with me
If they cant raise my interest then i
Have to let them be
Some boys try and some boys lie but
I dont let them play
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day, cause they are
(chorus)
Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world
(repeat)
Boys may come and boys may go
And thats all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now theyre after me, cause everybodys
(chorus)
A material, a material, a material, a material world
Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world
(repeat and fade)
"I've had quite enough", Hermione pronounced. "Come on, Neville, it's time for us to prevent a wedding."