Tori had immersed herself in the study of Charms, her new field of expertise. When she wasn’t teaching, one could always find her in the library, her nose buried deep into her books. She needed it to take her mind off of things. Strange, contradicting emotions seemed to overtake her. Sometimes she was so full of confidence she could take on the entire world, only to find herself without any belief in herself the very next moment. Something in the depths of her mind kept bugging her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, which didn’t help her troubled state of mind. Thank goodness her appetite didn’t seem to suffer, the last thing she needed was a worried Madam Pomfrey reprimanding her. No, she seemed to be one of those people that ate away her worries. What better place to do that than Hogwarts!

One day she found herself sitting in the Charms classroom, marking some papers when she wanted to check something in a reference book. As she was about to stand up from her seat, she saw the book levitating itself from the shelf, slowly floating towards her. Amazed at what had just happened, she tried again with a chair. It came straight to her, without her having to reach for her wand. The excitement ran through her veins. This was truly fantastic! She only had to think about the ‘accio’ spell and BAM; whatever she needed came to her. She jumped up from her chair and ran across the classroom towards the door. She had to tell Severus…she stopped abruptly in front of the door, sadness overtaking her. Of course she wouldn’t run down to the dungeons and tell him about her discovery, what on earth had she been thinking?

Slowly she turned around and went to her desk, when Professor Flitwick came through the door. Her face lit immediately.

“Professor! I have something to show you.”

She demonstrated her newfound skill and seeing Flitwick’s ecstatic joy was almost enough to compensate her earlier disappointment. They experimented some more and Flitwick jumped up into the air each time she managed to levitate or summon the desired object. She asked him if it were possible that she could learn to master every charm without using her want. He seemed to think about it for a while before he answered.

“Maybe in time, but ‘Wingardium Leviosa’ and ‘Accio’ are two of the most common spells. Therefore it’s likely that they are the only one’s you will be able to cast without your wand. However, keep trying; you never know what you are able to do until you try.”

The discovery in the Charms classroom had given her a new boost of energy. She returned to her room late that night, thinking that tonight she would go to sleep a happy person. When she was about to get into bed, she heard a cat meowing. It was Crookshanks. She would recognize that arrogant, demanding meow anywhere. Her cat was calling her. Damn thing, why did Hermione have to give him to her, now she had no other choice than to go to the dungeon. When she was on her way down, she noticed the meowing didn’t come from the dungeons at all; it sounded more like it came from outside, maybe the lake. She went out and rushed for the lake, maybe Crookshanks was in trouble?

Severus had an absolutely rotten day. Not only had he overslept, his students seemed to have forgotten the essentials of potion brewing. He returned from a crowded detention session and longed for a hot bath. As he walked into his room, Crookshanks slipped between his legs, running out. He closed the door, thinking that he didn’t have to be its keeper and the animal might want to go out to catch some mice. When he was soaking in his tub he tried to let go of today’s irritations, but every time he closed his eyes, the image of Tori’s pale, sad face came haunting him. He decided it wouldn’t work and got out again, his relaxation session was not helping to lift his spirits. Just as he was about to call it a night, he heard Crookshanks meowing. He walked towards the door to let him in, but the passage was empty. Then he heard it again…and again. He knew it wouldn’t stop if he didn’t give in to it, that much he had learned about that cat. Law should forbid such obnoxious pets. Obviously the creature had gotten itself into trouble and now he had no choice than to go after it, otherwise he would have to explain to Tori why her cat had been harmed. Bloody cat! The noise came from outside, he put on his cloak cursing that ginger ball of fur and left his room. He walked across the lawn towards the lake where he saw the cat sitting calmly with his head up high as a token of his superiority. Then he noticed he wasn’t alone.

She turned around when she heard him whispering her name.

“Tori”

“Severus”

She was surprised to see him there, but then remembering that Crookshanks lived with him now. The uneasiness of being alone with him after what happened paralyzed her. She wanted to tell him about her wand-less magic, but didn’t have the nerve, fearing a sarcastic comment.

He stood there motionless, drinking in her beauty, every part of him aching to touch her. How he missed her! He felt that he needed to say something, but there were so many dangerous subjects he thought it would be safer to stick to the one at hand, being Crookshanks.

“Did you hear him as well?” he asked monotonous, trying very hard not to let his voice betray that his heart was longing for her.

“Yes, I thought he might be in trouble, so I went after him.”

“So did I.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, both feeling awkward.

“Err, is he all right?” she asked, not knowing what else to say.

“He’s fine, yes.”

His short answers didn’t help much either!

“Will you take him back to the dungeons?”

“If he wants to, yes, I’ve discovered that this cat has a mind of his own.”

Tori let out a little nervous giggle and he had curled his lip as well. His remark about Crookshanks’ independent nature had lifted the tension for a while, but not for long. Soon they were staring at their feet again, lost for words, but not willing to put an end to the moment.

It was a cold night and Tori inadvertently shivered when she realized she wasn’t wearing her cloak.

“Cold?” Snape asked, and before she could say anything he had taken off his cloak and draped it around her shoulders. She tried very hard not to blush, cursing herself for the effect the slightest touch of his hands had on her.

“Thank you.” She managed to say.

They looked at the cat as if they were waiting for him to tell them what to do. As if he understood what they were feeling, Crookshanks stood up and started walking towards them. First he curled around Tori’s legs and then he did the same with Severus, purring when he repeated this over and over. Obviously he was trying to say something, but they both chose to ignore it, although it would be an insult to their intelligence if they said that they didn’t understand his intentions.

“Well, I guess we might return inside and see where he goes.” Tori suggested.

“Let’s do so.”

They walked together to the castle, followed by what seemed to be a very happy Crookshanks. When they got inside Tori returned his cloak and Severus headed for the dungeon. The cat followed him, turning around and meowing plaintive when he saw Tori would not be coming with them. She patted him and looked up at Severus.

“Maybe I should have visiting rights?” she tried a little trembling smile.

“He’s your cat, you can come and see him whenever you like. He misses you.” When he said those last words, he knew very well that Crookshanks wasn’t the only one that missed her, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let her know that!

When Tori got back to her room she was shaking all over. Being alone with him had affected her more than she ever would have imagined. Climbing into bed, her eyes glanced over the bedside table where his farewell letter was lying. She picked it up and re-read it once, twice…many times, until she knew it by heart. Not realizing that she had read it aloud, she was startled when she heard her voice break. Reading his words of love cut right through her heart, knowing he felt this deeply for her. No one would ever love her like that again, that she knew for sure. How cruel life could be to let two people fall in love like that when they could never be together!

Severus walked back to his dungeon, careful that the cat came inside before he closed the door. He turned around towards the cat and sneered at him:

“Did you HAVE to do that?”

Crookshanks gave a little meow and sat motionless, his head tilted as if he was trying to figure out why Severus was upset.

“Don’t you go and sit there all high and mighty, mister; you know damn well what I mean.”

Another soft meow and then the cat decided to let Severus stew for a while, slowly walking past him towards the fireplace where he curled up and ignored the angry wizard.

Severus mumbled something to himself about ‘going insane’ and ‘talking to cats’ while undressing.

Tori had been so close to him tonight, if he had stretched out his arm he would have been able to touch her. The moment that he laid his cloak around her was engraved in his memory and when she had returned it to him; her fingers had brushed his, sending little sparks through his body. He was well aware of the reasons that had prevented him from taking her into his arms. How foolish he had been to think he was over it? Being alone with her for just a few moments had turned his world upside down again. He needed to get a grip, before he lost it completely and would turn into a softhearted lover, only to make them both feel even more miserable in the end.

He tossed and turned but couldn’t sleep. What if he never got over her? He could always resign and leave Hogwarts of course, but then again…he was there first and he would stay, no matter what!