This shall be my first ever double dare - it's going to be a long one, so i'm posting it in short, easily digestable pieces. Enjoy!

Dumbledore was short of money – again. Now it was time to pay the staff their monthly salaries, and the Hogwarts Vault was dangerously empty. He became desperate, and decided to ring some people using a muggle phone and see if he could get some items for an auction.

The first person he rang, he thought was the old phone company, but it was actually the Dursley’s.

"Hello? Is that the old phone company? Can I please order a pair of squishy maroon socks with a talking leopard? And self-drinking soda?" Dumbledore asked politely.

“What are you talking about?” yelled Uncle Vernon. He then hung up.


Dumbledore thought he’d try the Superhero’s hangout, they were always up for donating to ‘charity’.

The phone rang twice and then was answered by a woman.

“Hello, Superheroes Incorporated, Catwoman speaking. How may I help you?”

“Hello Catwoman, this is Albus Dumbledore, from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I wish to speak with Batman, your head of the Charity division.”

“Albus, how good to hear from you. I’m putting you through now”


Random superhero-y type music was played for a short moment, and then Albus was connected.

“Charity Division, Batman speaking”

“Batman, it’s me Albus – look I need a favour. I’m arranging a charity auction, and I would like you to attend, and possibly offer dinner with yourself, and another superhero, as an auction item.”

“I dunno Albus – we’ve been really busy here lately. I don’t know how we could find the time”

“I believe you owe me Batman – I know you remember that incident in Guatemala with the Monkeys. How I saved you from the embarrassment of s-”

Batman interrupted quickly. “yes, I remember, I wish I could forget. Okay, we have an agreement - Ah it's just as well. Not like I was going to pay him to let me feed his purple iguana mangoes anyways."

“Excellent. Who will be your fellow Superhero – so I can put it on the advertising” said Albus.

“Let me see – I’ll look in our Database” frantic typing ensued, “Oh dear – it seems the only ‘Person’ available is Scooby-Doo”

“That’s fine. See you and Scooby on Saturday then, Bye”

Albus hung up.