SnitchSeeker.com - View Single Post - An Argument to Leave One Mad

OtterySt.Catchpole · 01-04-2008, 10:43 PM

A one-shot would be if that post was your whole story. All of it in one post makes it a one-shot story.

That said I liked it a lot, it was very cute, and I think you could go on and write more story. If it feels right I mean.

And one last piece of advice which you can totally ignore, it's just basic good grammar, but when you're writing, every time there's a new speaker you start a new paragraph. Like this paragraph of yours should be like this it makes it easier to read:

Quote:

Ron’s best friend Harry came in after Ginny left. “Any chance that was about me?” he asked.

“No.” Ron replied.

“Why?”

“Oh, nothing.” He was still trying to figure out what she wanted for her 17th birthday.

Realizing that Ron was up and out of bed, Harry asked “What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, Hermione and I had a-”

“We has an argument.” Hermione finished his sentence opening the door. Harry noticed that she was still in her pajamas.

“Oh.” Harry said. “Catch you two later then.” He would have liked to add “Leave him in one piece,” to Hermione, but he could tell she was more saddened than angry this time.

Just a thought, your story was very sweet. I totally love R/Hr and H/G. Yay! I hope you write more.

EDIT: I'm such a dork, I just noticed the poll

I was thinking if you didn't want to go on with the story ... you could always just keep adding shorts stories ... you know, lots of one-shots? Just a thought ...

*Today Otty is full of advice*

01-04-2008, 10:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
OtterySt.Catchpole SS Featured Artist DA Poet Rupert is My Man! SS100 Triumphant Aethonan Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Wicked House Posts: 18,910 Hogwarts RPG Name: Ottery St. Catchpole Gryffindor Third Year	Nice Shot! Paris & Kellybear r luv :Read Otty 's fics:Gone With the Wind:I♥Rupert A one-shot would be if that post was your whole story. All of it in one post makes it a one-shot story. That said I liked it a lot, it was very cute, and I think you could go on and write more story. If it feels right I mean. And one last piece of advice which you can totally ignore, it's just basic good grammar, but when you're writing, every time there's a new speaker you start a new paragraph. Like this paragraph of yours should be like this it makes it easier to read: Quote: Ron’s best friend Harry came in after Ginny left. “Any chance that was about me?” he asked. “No.” Ron replied. “Why?” “Oh, nothing.” He was still trying to figure out what she wanted for her 17th birthday. Realizing that Ron was up and out of bed, Harry asked “What’s wrong with you?” “Oh, Hermione and I had a-” “We has an argument.” Hermione finished his sentence opening the door. Harry noticed that she was still in her pajamas. “Oh.” Harry said. “Catch you two later then.” He would have liked to add “Leave him in one piece,” to Hermione, but he could tell she was more saddened than angry this time. Just a thought, your story was very sweet. I totally love R/Hr and H/G. Yay! I hope you write more. EDIT: I'm such a dork, I just noticed the poll I was thinking if you didn't want to go on with the story ... you could always just keep adding shorts stories ... you know, lots of one-shots? Just a thought ... Today Otty is full of advice __________________ Last edited by OtterySt.Catchpole; 01-04-2008 at 10:46 PM.