Hi everyone! Wow, this is my... fourth fic here. Third one shot. Alright well, I have a thing for all the "forbidden love" ships, and this one is James/Narcissa. Oh yes, James/Narcissa. Be very afraid. Honestly, I don't particularly like this one shot, but I decided to publish it anyway, just for kicks.



All In My Head

(Flashback)

“James, come on!” a girl said, laughing while pulling the boy away from the Quidditch display. He turned away from the brooms, and looked instead at the girl beside him. Taking her hand and beginning to walk, the boy grinned.

“Anything for you, Narcissa, even if it means I must deprive myself of Quidditch supplies.” The girl smiled back at him, and on they walked, happy, in love, and holding hands.

(End Flashback)

I saw you today. In Diagon Alley. I watched silently as you strolled by with your husband, your hand in his and a smile on your beautiful face. I couldn’t help but seethe with jealousy. And you barely noticed me, you never gave me a second look. Did you forget the past? Did you forget all those times that we walked down the street like that? Lily came to me. “James,” she said quietly, “what’s wrong?” She could see through my blank expression. I forced the corners of my lips to curve upwards, as I lied to her.

“Nothing, my love.”

(Flashback)

“What’s wrong, James?”

The boy was silent for a moment. “Narcissa, I love you. You know that, right? But I can’t. We... we aren’t supposed to happen. Do you realize what your family would do to you if they found out about us? At best, they’d disown you. They’d probably kill me. Maybe you as well. I can’t let that happen.” The girl replied angrily.

“Well, they won’t find out. They can’t, they can’t, I love you...” she cried, her anger tuning to helpless desperation as she buried her head in the boy’s chest.

“It’s alright, they won’t find out,” he whispered, trying to be brave, to believe his own lie.

(End Flashback)

After our short encounter, Lily and I stopped in Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor. We took a small booth, and while sitting across from one another, Lily made light, contented chatter, not noticing that I was silently staring at my ice cream. I heard the little bell ring that announced arrivals. My head shot up, and my heart sank once again as I saw you and your husband enter the little shop. I diverted my eyes quickly, back to the little dish in front of me.I realized that I had churned the frozen treat to mush, and I hadn’t taken a bite.

(Flashback)

The boy looked happy as he took a seat opposite the girl in a little corner booth of the shop. She sighed. “I love it here. Oh James, this is perfect.”

“You’re perfect, Narcissa,” he said without thinking, “you’re my world. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She blushed, and quietly said, “And you never will.”

(End Flashback)

Lily whispered to me. “Don’t look now, but the Malfoys just came in. Don’t say anything, they’ll make a scene.” I didn’t acknowledge her, I knew all too well who had come in. I could feel your presence around me like a silken blanket, though it seemed you no longer felt mine. I began to stir my ice cream once more, but I stopped when, shocked, I heard two sets of footsteps stop at Lily and I’s table. I cautiously surveyed the couple who tarried beside us, through the corner of my eyes, and I saw that it was you. I brought my gaze up to your face, full on, and I felt my soul ripping in two as I took in the look of contempt you gave me. No sadness, no memories, just careless enmity.

(Flashback)

The girl sat alone in a cozy, fire-lit room. She combed her long blonde hair slowly, as she sat on her bed. She stopped suddenly, and called out. “James? Is that you? Are you there?” The boy soundlessly entered the room.

“Narcissa, I was almost caught tonight. We can’t continue like this. It’s dangerous. Sooner our later, it’s going to slip out.”

“James, no! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’d rather be disowned than lose you. Please!” The girl’s face was the picture of sadness and denial. The boy’s hard, but reluctant expression changed, but only for a moment.

(End Flashback)

Lucius sneered. “Old Fortescue’s been slacking on tidying up the place. There’s filth on half the tables here,” he said, looking pointedly at Lily and I.

You laughed, “There’s obviously no standard of cleanliness whatsoever.” The sound of your voice saying those hateful words was so lovely, so beautiful. I knew that Lily expected me to defend her, but I couldn’t stand up to yoau. There was no way. You looked at me with mock-pity. “Aww, what’s wrong Potter, can’t think of a witty reply?” My heart melted at the sound, and I knew exactly what I wanted to say. But could I?

(Flashback)

The boy’s face hardened once more. “No, Narcissa. We have to end this. I can’t let you stay in danger. I’m asking Lily Evans to the Yule Ball, and when Lucius Malfoy asks you, you’re going to accept. I can’t come and see you any more. Or write, or anything. I’m sorry, and I love you. But this is too dangerous. And I’m ending it. I... have to.” Tears began to slip down the girl’s face, but she nodded slowly.

“Then leave,” she said in a ragged whisper. The boy didn’t move. “Leave!” she screamed at him. With a small gesture of farewell this time, he slowly left the room, and shut the door, leaving his whole world behind.

(End Flashback)

I felt it burning in my throat, and I knew that the secret was about to be revealed for the world to see, for I could not keep it any longer. “Narcissa!” I screamed desperately, “What happened to us? Did you just forget? I loved you, you loved me, and we were happy! Did you just forget all of that?” Your face registered only anger and confusion.

“What? What are you talking about?”

I was started now, and I couldn’t stop. “You, you and me! Fifth, sixth, and seventh years! Don’t you remember anything? We walked down Diagon Alley together, we came in here, we, we were in love! It was all a secret, remember? And we ended it because I decided it was too dangerous. But I still loved you, and I still do, and I always will! Don’t... Can’t you remember?” I realized that I was sobbing and screaming at the same time. Then, you slapped me.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but that is the largest lie I’ve ever heard! I would never be with you!” You were yelling at me. I was crumbling, and suddenly, I knew the truth. It sunk in like a sharp sword, slicing me into small and unrecognizable pieces. My past, my life, my love, my world, it was all imagination. It was all in my head.
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Note: If you like my work, be sure to check out my other two oneshots, Hero and The Last Minute Love Letter, as well as my full-length fic, Death Can Not Part Us. Please read and review!