The hall opened up into a large room of cubicles. "This is where most of our Eliters craft their evilness." People scribbled away all over the room. Over each desk hovered a flashing number: the number of days until the next dare was due. Several desks had negative numbers flashing. Someone on the far side of the room screamed in frustration and a flurry of parchment exploded.

"We've had a lot of writing frustration since the Ministry banned..." Her voice dropped. "Itchy words."

"Words that make you itch?" Hermione asked loudly.

"No," Cass shushed them. "Itchy, itching, and itch... all gone. Let's move on," Cass said in her normal volume of quite-loud. She headed to the back of the room and opened the first in a series of doors. "This is our Head Minion Office." Next to the single desk, Edge and B2M rolled around on the floor, pulling hair and screeching.

"It's my turn to use the desk," B2M yelled. "I'm not done yet!" Edge yelled back. Cass took off a shoe and threw it at the two, who stopped and sat up.

"Guys, behave! We have guests. Sheesh... I'll talk to Lotus about buying another desk." She closed the door and they silently moved to the next door.

"This is where we keep Bill and Bob the Dementors," Cass tried to move on, but Ginny's voice piped in.

"That's a closet," she pointed to the 'janitor' sign.

"Yes, well... they're dementors, aren't they? People get scared of them, so we keep them in the closet," she snapped and moved the group to the next door.

"This is my office," Cass gestured to a closed door as they passed. "But I'm being punished for being a bad founder, which is why I have to lead tours. In addition, they are storing all the animals armies in my office until somewhere more suitable is found." She made an ugly face and moved to the next door. "And here is Lotus."

Lotus sat behind her desk, her head pillowed on her arms, snoring softly. "Um..." Cass said stupidly. "She's from Australia. She's awake at weird times." Everyone nodded in understanding and Lotus jerked awake. "Wha-?"

"I was giving the tour," Cass reminded her. "We just finished. Any questions?"

"Where's the food?" Harry asked.

Lotus leapt to her feet and produced a jar of peanuts, which she flourished proudly.

"Are you kidding?" asked Hermione.

"Are you finished?" asked Ron.

"Are you drunk?" asked Snape. "We don't tour for peanuts."

"These are special peanuts," Cass assured them. Ron grabbed the jar. He opened it and began to speak to someone, but six peanuts flew out of the jar and up his nose.

"Ow! Owie!" he yelled and ran around the room. Harry clapped the lid back on the jar and shot a scornful look at Cass. She shrugged. "That's curious..."

"How about an apple?" Lotus produced three from her robes.

"Those look safe," McGonagall said and the three professors each took one. After a few bites, they got a strange gleam in their eyes.

McGonagall grabbed Snape's wand from his pocket. "Mine!" she said. Snape struggled feebly for a few moments, then threw himself on the floor and screamed.

Dumbledore toddled around the room before trying to remove his robe. "Mr. Dumbledore, we don't take off our clothes here," Cass reminded.

He climbed on the chair Lotus had vacated and pounded on the windows with glee. "We don't play that way here. That is not okay," Cass said tiredly.

He sat on top of the still screaming Snape and pulled Snape's hair. Snape screamed louder.

"We don't sit on our friends here," Cass started to cry.

McGonagall threw Snape's wand at Ginny and sat on Snape as well. She grinned up at Harry and lifted her arms. "Up," she ordered sweetly.

Harry cast a panicked look at Lotus and Cass before hiding behind Ron. Cass walked to the door as Lotus cast an anti-charm.

"That's it!" Dumbledore declared, although he continued to sit on a fuming Snape. "All apples shall henceforth be apprehended on sight!"

"My tour is over," Cass called over her shoulder. "I'm going to go to my office and hide under my desk with the chickens."

"Cass," Lotus whined. "I promise to get those animals out of your office by tomorrow, but..."

Cass cut her off. "Great," she said, waved, and left.