Originally Posted by SSFC
Chapter 1: Through My Eyes
Dark and ominous, the Hogwarts castle at night was always something of a mystery. On this night in particular, it was a battle ground. The mystery of the Hogwarts castle crumbled with its walls as the Death Eaters entered and laid siege.
Severus Snape had been in his office when Draco Malfoy had rushed in, frantic and pale.
“I—I did it,” he had said. “I—I did it…” He repeated these words over and over again, almost as though he regretted ever having to say them, but there was nothing he could do. He had indeed done it and no sooner had he spoken those words, when the chaos began.
Madness like nothing you could imagine. Hogwarts was under attack and the headmaster was no where to be found.
Screams, bangs, the sound of people shouting curses, the sound of breaking glass, or crunching bones - all intermingled as the war within in the castle waged.
But Severus paid no mind to those Death Eaters around him, nor did he bother to fight those students that had managed to stand tall - Neville Longbottom and other Gryffindors, a Ravenclaw girl - all fighting older wizards, trying to fend them off and protect their beloved school.
Severus was a double agent, true, and those Death Eaters believed him on their side, much like those students believed him on their side. But where did his true loyalties lie? Many did not know, many questioned, but one man knew for certain and his trust in Severus never wavered, which is exactly why Severus was so angry with Albus Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore, guardian of Hogwarts and its pupils, was the most kind and wise person ever to live; Snape valued the old man’s trust, but he knew it would some day be his down fall. That day was upon him.
The only problem was Severus was loyal to Dumbledore; his very life was worth living just because Dumbledore had given him a second chance. Now, he would destroy what little trust and respect he had gained with any members of the Order.
Severus Snape hated Albus Dumbledore for the simple fact that he was forced to commit a murder he never wanted to happen.
Dumbledore had forced Snape to promise him that when the time came, for the old man knew Draco Malfoy was incapable of killing him, Severus would see to the fulfilment of his vow and secure his place at Voldemort’s side, enabling him to continue the war against Voldemort from the inner circle, even if Dumbledore were gone.
Foolish old man… Snape thought as his feet carried him higher up the stairwell. He knew exactly where he was going. Snarls and shouts emanated from the Astronomy Tower and Snape only wished the door would move farther from him rather than closer. However, he soon reached the door and burst through.
There would be no turning back now.
He hardly noticed what words were being said, who he was speaking to or what he was feeling. He just knew that if he let himself feel, he would run and never come back; he just wasn’t the cold-blooded Death Eater who could kill someone this important to him – just like that.
He knew how set his features were; he could tell that he had an ugly look about them, but the only thing that mattered were the words the old man was speaking.
“Severus… please…” It almost felt as though he wanted Snape to help him, or perhaps, he was afraid, maybe he had changed his mind? No, when he looked into those blue eyes, he could see no spark, just… what? The old man wanted this; he begged for it; he had made Severus promise.
How could he keep this promise?
Snape wanted nothing more than for the old man to rise from the floor, to look strong and radiate power, but he did neither. He was broken.
The words Dumbledore had spoken to him back at the beginning of summer came swiftly to mind, “I’m an old man Severus…”
Suddenly, Severus understood, there was nothing more he could do. Severus had to give in, because if he did not, old age would surely kill the headmaster rather sooner than later anyway. Albus Dumbledore was indeed, old and it was now or never that they could use this fact to their advantage. Severus raised his wand….
Black oblivion is a funny thing. Severus ran for it after that, Draco Malfoy with him, other Death Eaters running. He hardly remembered doing it; he didn’t want to remember doing it—after all murdering the one person who has always trusted you, is a difficult thing to do.
“COWARD!!!”
That was Harry Potter chasing him, wasn’t it? The show Severus was putting on was worth a standing ovation; he was an amazing actor apparently. Why didn’t I pursue the arts, he wondered as he shouted back at the Boy Who Lived and blocked his spells easily.
Harry’s anger was evident, even in Severus’ numb state. No wonder his spells weren’t effective.
“COWARD!!!” That word again. If only Harry knew, if only he could see, or feel what Severus was going through. It made him so angry!
“DON’T CALL ME COWARD!!!” He hardly realized that he had let the words affect him; he was just so sensitive right now. Harry Potter didn’t understand what he was doing; Harry Potter didn’t know…. Harry Potter would probably never know that Snape was truly and honestly loyal to Dumbledore and, if he thought about it, to Harry himself, because he would never kill Dumbledore on anyone’s orders, except the old man’s himself. And that was exactly what he had done; Harry did not know.
‘Would any one ever know?’ This was Severus’ first thought once safely away from Hogwarts, Draco shaking on the ground of his small home, crying and calling for his mommy.
‘No, no one will ever know…’