 ll Achmed's 2nd Keeper ll Team Jacob l l Otaku ll
Otty!   Quote:
Originally Posted by The Otter's first comment *squee*
For a first fic, this reads pretty cool Lari, you've got some grammar troubles but you've got the plot goin' ... I liked your story.  So here are some more comments, but yay go Lari, you write cool fics.  Thanks man! Yeah I do don't I? I think I'll edit a full story once I'm done with the fic and use some of your comments *huggles Otty* Quote:
Originally Posted by KK I'll Back off!Rupert's yours! That's how I would have written that:
I was repelling the spells with difficulty, from bubble head charms to the basic shield charm I couldn’t launch a counter-attack.  Thanks sooooooo much! I knew there was something wrong with that, I just didn't know how to fix it! Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof Otter You want to keep sentences nice and clean and simple, and not give us too many short ones. When you can fit one idea in a sentence that's a good thing. For the record. I totally loved the action there ... you've got skillz girlfriend. Are Ari & Sam going to be ... just curious  I totally ship! Okay cool! I'll keep that in mind! *ish so happy*  maybe! Okay there's no point in hiding.....YES! Quote:
Originally Posted by Otty's making me go :)
I seriously loved that description of Harry, you give a lot of his character right there without bogging us down. I think that was brilliant. I'm very impressed Lari, I still haven't mastered the art of minimal description ... I usually write two paragraphs to say what you said rather very quickly and a lot more prettily. Can't say thanks enough! *clings*   Go A/S! Quote:
Originally Posted by eek! Otty's so nice :)
You mispelled boggart, but I loved what you wrote here ... I loved seeing that in my mind ... I can picture teh annoying lunch lady ... You've got quite a talent for painting pictures Lari, you really sure this is your first fic? I mean seriously ... that was cool. :arg: Spelling....:hack: Hehehe....I enjoied writing that bit! Thank you! Yep 'tis my first but I write a lot of stuff in English so yeah Yeppers! lol I love that in him....  Naughty Otter! *pets* Yeah....kind of....It gets a little more interesting as it goes on  lol yeah I need to write soon! |