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Old 03-31-2004, 04:32 PM   #95 (permalink)
Edge
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That night…
We find them at the Headmaster’s office while Dumbledore was placing the Sorting Hat on top of Michael’s head. The tear near its brim opened and gave out the most horrible sound ever before it broke into a song:
“This person I refuse to choose,
a house where he can go and peruse,
I’m afraid his mind is too polluted,
but what can I do, a wish must be granted.
The Slytherin house is not for you,
‘cause they don’t need your money,
Neither does Hufflepuff, who’s known to pick
the general crowd, refuses your company.
The Ravenclaw bunch, denies your entrance,
to their humble abode, of smartness and intelligence,
Without a doubt, there’s only one left,
I hope they’re brave enough, and they can accept.”

GRYFFINDOR!
And when Dumbledore removed the hat, he noticed that it was wet. “Hmmm… It seems that old Sortie cried. That’s odd!”
Michael jumped up and down, and moved it all around, and exclaimed, “I’m going to Gryffindor! I’m going to Gryffindor! But where is that? In Norway or something?
“Silly you. Come on, follow me!”
And Dumbledore led Michael to the Fat Lady who was confused of the whole situation. When Dumbledore said the password, the Fat Lady had no choice but to let Michael in, too.
As they enter, they spotted the Famous trio hanging out near the fire. Dumbledore said, “Hem, Hem.” And the trio looks up, especially Hermione, who looked like someone splashed cold water to her.
“My dear students, you have a visitor. His name is Michael Jackson and he’s temporarily sorted to your House. I accept all of you to respect and accept him, ‘cause he’s a dear friend. That’s all.” And after patting Michael and waving at the students, Dumbledore left.
“Oh my God!!!” Screams were heard from the girls’ dormitories as Angelina, Alicia, and Katie went down, carrying a quill and parchment, and jumping like mad misses. “Can we have your autograph? We’re your number one fans.”
Michael obliged and then Angelina asked him, “Can I have a kiss? But can you please lower your face. I maybe tall but unfortunately I have a large head and a very small neck.”
“Sure dear. But careful with the nose.” And she did, and afterwards was followed by Katie and Alicia. After the small session, the three Quidditch chasers left, quivering, shrieking and fake fainting.
Michael motioned to join Harry and Ron, but they looked at him piercingly and they were hiding something, so he had no choice but to join Hermione. He sat beside her, and noticed the incredible amount of books and parchments lying on the table. He looked at her, made a discontented sound, before finally asking, “What’s bothering you, my dear?”
Hermione eyed Michael very menacingly, it’s like she’s going to use ‘heat vision’ to burn him. Then she exploded, “Would you leave me alone!!! My hands are currently full and I don’t need to feed another mouth!!!”
“Huh? What are you talking about, sweetie?”
“You and your codswallopness, that’s what. I leave you for one minute and then, you run off with someone. Imagine that.”
Michael wasn’t able to take it anymore, so he slapped Hermione. Hermione’s eyes went back to focus and then shook his head.
“What happened?! Oh my gosh! Michael Jackson in here, right now. I can’t believe this!” Hermione grabbed a quill and parchment and asked and autograph from Michael, who looks confuzzled.
“Didn’t you know what happened?” he asked.
“Um… no. And why are my cheeks hurting?”
Michael realized that she was getting delirious because of the heavy workload and maybe stress. He replied, “I’m sorry but I kinda slapped you because,” he lingered for a while and continued, “you had a spider on your face.”
“Spider?!?! Where?!?!” It was Ron, and he jumped on top of a chair and a crunching sound was heard.
“Ronald Weasley!!!” Harry exclaimed. “Look at what you’ve done?” He motioned Ron to get off the chair and picked up a bag. “You know too well she doesn’t like crushed Skittles!”
Ron huffed and replied, “Neither did she liked that grass-stained shirt you made her wear!”
“Oh yeah? Well how about that time when you made her a wig of Milicent Bulstrode’s hair. That was the worst!”
“Ooh…” Ron’s face was already red, and so was Harry’s. They both shouted, “Dobby!” and afterwards the house-elf arrived, and amazingly, is still carrying a big ball of cheese.
I asked, “Wasn’t that supposed to be melted?” And Michael nodded for approval.
“Young storyteller, I’m afraid that you were talking about the bad cheese. Now, this is the good cheese and the ugly one is with Winky.” Then he turned to Harry and Ron and asked, “What is it this time, misters?”
They said in unison, “Take Barbarella and hide her. Don’t ever let that,” they pointed at each other, “person see her ever again.”
“As you wishes.” And Dobby picked the ‘Barbie Doll’ that was sitting in a custom-made chair, and then he left. Harry and Ron harrumphed at each other and stormed up to the dormitories, while Hermione fell face first on her pile of books and started to snore.
Suddenly, Sirius’ head popped out of the fireplace, and he had a sock up by his mouth. Michael was surprised by this, but didn’t think twice and removed the sock.
Sirius said, “Who are you? But anyways, where’s Harry?”
“I think he’s already sleeping.”
“For real? Well then I guess I’ll just do it for you.” He cleared his throat and sang:
“And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we've got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest?
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best.”

Michael applauded whilst Sirius said, “Thank you! You’re too kind.” And he popped out.
Michael decided to tell Dumbledore what happened, but I released some pixie dust, and he fell asleep.

The next day…
Michael was awakened by some screams. As he opened his eyes, he saw Hermione ranting while looking out the window.
“What’s the problem?” he asked.
“Look… there!” And he did. He saw a huge tent pitched on the grounds, and there were also lots of animals and stalls. “I didn’t know they’d come now! Gah!!!” And Hermione messed up her hair and nearly began to weep.
“Well, that’s good… isn’t it? There’s a fair outside.”
“Oh yeah? Well lucky you, you don’t have anything to worry about. But look at me!” And he did. Hermione is looking very… odd. She got lines on her forehead, she smells like she rolled in the mud, and Michael spotted some grayness on her bushy hair.
“My, my! What’re you doing with your life, dear? I say, ease up a bit and let’s go see what’s going on below!”
“Ohh! You never understand a word I just said. “ And Hermione set off, I think towards the library.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Girls. No wonder...” And he decided to find what’s really going on.
As he was about to go out of the front door, a young man with the same long, unruly hair halted him. That young man brought out a lei and put it on Michael. He then sang:
“It's the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life.”

“Bravo, bravo! You’re the same guy as last night, right?” I wonder why you’re here and what’s up with this lei?”
“Yes, yes, I am. I’m here to look after my godchild, Harry. You know him? I was tipped by someone that Lordy Voldy is here, so I signed up for the Welcoming Committee.”
“Yeah, I do. Well that’s good. See you around.”
And Michael walked up to where everyone is, but he was still confused on the goings on, so he asked the author.
I replied, “I don’t really know, too. I can’t think of any event so I just made-up this very random fair.”
Michael understood and tried to pat me in the shoulder, but I ran away, just in case Slashy appears and bops our heads.
Michael perused from one kiosk to another, which were mainly supervised by Hogwarts’ students and staff. He stumbled upon Harry’s kiosk, which bears the sign “Dolls ‘R Us.” Ron also had a kiosk next to Harry, with the sign “It’s Dolls ‘R Mine!” Harry looked at Ron then to his’ sign, then to his own sign. He took out his wand and pointed at his own sign. The letters changed to “Don’t Trust the one on my left.” Ron changed his sign too. It now reads “Liar, liar, Plants for Hire.”
Harry redid his sign. “It’s Pants on Fire.”
Ron did that too. “You Would Know… Liar!”
Harry looked Ron straight in the eye, while Ron wears a smudged face.
“Why you?!?!” Harry began to charge at Ron. Luckily, a hooded figure wearing a pirate’s hat approached them and interfered. “I shall approve to no fighting, this fair promotes camaraderie and I believe you haven’t followed that.”
He glared at Harry and Ron, and then from out of nowhere, Sirius arrived with his wand out.
“What’s this? Lordy Voldy, what’re you going to do!” Sirius was ready to strike but Harry stopped him.
“Don’t, Godfather. He didn’t try to kill me. He just stopped me and Ron from fighting.”
“Hmm, that’s better.” Sirius the faced Michael and began to sing:
“It means no worries, for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!”

Michael responded with a moonwalk and his rendition of “Thriller.” But the others, including the author, were too busy with random stuff that Michael felt ignored and just walked away. He walked upon a small stable with the sign “DE Rules.” As he went inside, he saw more hooded figures tending to the horses, and he noticed one particular stable where a lot of people were gathered. He tried to find out what was all the commotion. But before he could, the stable opened and out comes the pinkest pony you could ever imagine… with Snape as its rider. A boy with perfectly gelled hair was ranting to a tall hooded person, which obviously is his father.
The boy cried, “I want to ride the pony, Father. Pwease!”
“Now, now, Draco, play nicely. You know that Snape has made a bargain with us. He’ll put a stop to our bad reputation if we let him ride the pony.”
“But I wanna!” And Draco ran after Snape and the pony, with Lucius not very far behind. Michael thought to himself, “I want the election day to come. Maybe right now…” And so it did.

The Election Day…
Michael was very pumped up while he entered the Gryffindor Common Room. To his surprise, people there waited for him and wished him luck.
A random person would give something to Michael as a sign of support. After some time, someone old looking approached him, and he was dumbfounded.
“Uh, aren’t you too old to be a Gryffindor, ma’am?”
“No, she isn’t. She’s Hermione, and she only looks old because of the wrinkles and gray hair. But she’s still…” And Hermione poked Ron and said, “It’s impolite to tell a woman’s age.”
Ron replied, “As you wish, Grey-mione.”
Ron ran away and Hermione followed him. It seems that there wasn’t really any problems with her body, her face just matured.
Anyways, Dumbledore came in and took Michael to Hogsmeade. The students followed because they wanted to, so what can Dumbledore do? They came upon a stage built in the middle of the High Street, where the other candidates are all waiting. When Michael approached them, Snape exclaimed, “Why are you very late? We’re supposed to start 2 hours ago! Never mind!” He took out his wand and pointed it to his nose… err… I mean, throat and muttered, Sonorus. He then said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever election for Mayor of Hogsmeade. I want to tell everyone that voting is open to all, even babies. But first, you must all meet the candidates to decide the winner.
First to walk, more like float, on stage is Professor Binns. He talked and talked but no one seems to listen, so he just floated away. Next up was Sirius, who sang “In the Mighty Jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight,” and after his performance, Harry shouted, “Sirius is my man!!” <span style='color:blue'>[‘Tis not Slashy-forbidden. I promise.]
Next up was Lordy Voldy who made a litany about being good. I personally don’t believe him, especially with his hat that has the description, “Once a thief, always a thief.”
Cassirin then went up and a group of people was cheering for her. As I looked, I saw Lotus and Zy holding up a banner and shouting, “Go, Maleficent!” Cass began to make her speech, “Magandang umaga. Ako si Cassirin Louise Douhickey, ay nag-uutos sa inyong lahat na iboto ako bilang Alkalde ng Hogsmeade. Ngayon, sumayaw kayong lahat ng ‘Otso, Otso’!”
She brought out her wand and waved it at the crowd, She then began to sing:
“Tayo’y mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!
Mag-otso otso! Otso otso! Mag-otso otso na!!!”

The crowd really liked her and danced to her song. Suddenly, gnomes with parachute fell from the sky and nearly scared the whole crowd. Luckily, Flitwick, who was wearing a banana-muffin costume that the author picked himself, ran up to the stage and said, “No, no, no! you were all supposed to parachute down Hagatña, not Hogsmeade! Where’s Gnarvin?” And a gnome with a big head, he must be the ‘head’ gnome or something, approached him. “We’re sorry, King Gnitwit, Gnoel lost the map and Gnelson said that this is the place, so…”
“Ano ito? Flitwick, bakit ka nandito?!” Cassirin said while removing a gnome in her cape. “Alis!!!” She then ordered everyone to degnome the whole place, and she personally took Flitwick away.
Finally, Michael Jackson went up the stage. He made a speech about many things and the crowd sucked it all up. They also thought that he would do best, considering that he’s a Muggle. So they voted for him unanimously.
Michael searched for Snape to thank him for his help. He found Snape hiding in a corner drinking coffee and munching on jelly doughnuts. He thought that this wasn’t right so he banned these foods at Hogsmeade.
After a few days, we find Michael in his new office. He was playing with a random thing when the door burst open suddenly. Two dementors in pink tights, we call them Bill and Bob, went in. Since we know that they can’t speak… or do they… they we’re holding up a placard and it reads, “Why did you ban coffee and jelly doughnuts? Now we’re out of stock and forced to eat these!” They took out biscuits and milk and threw it at random places, and they moved closer to the desk, but because they don’t have eyes… or do they… they didn’t realize that Michael fled and decided to, finally, visit Medraut.
And as story ends, Harry approached me and said, “Why am I not present in the whole story? I’m supposed to be famous!” He decided to throw a tantrum but I ignored him and locked this topic.</span>
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