Well, I thought I was sending her to Hogwarts, but that'll be next chapter.
Chapter Three Wizards
I expected a hospital, and that was all. I didn't know what a wizarding hospital would look like, so didn't know what else to expect. I was quite sure that it isn't what I saw, if that made any sense. I'm quite sure it didn't. But somehow it did back then.
Everyone was quite busy, and quite a few people came to greet me. I didn't know how to be scared anymore. And I wasn't sure how to smile. I'm quite sure I'd forgotten a long time ago. I mean, yes, I could look like I was smiling. But it was never really a smile. And I realized I didn't know how to be happy. They were telling me I was about to be cured, and I didn't smile. I knew disappointment, and I knew relief. What sort of child was I? One step away from blank eyes and fake smiles. I realized then, I already had fake smiles. That doctor had smiled that beautiful smile at me, and I didn't even smile back.
They took my hand and I looked at that soft wristband. I couldn't let them take it. It was only that and my scars that said anything about what I'd been through. And I found myself telling the staff that I wanted to keep my scars. They frowned at me, not understanding, but said they'd do what they could. Apparently other procedures lay ahead of me. I guess whatever was wrong must be pretty serious if magic couldn't just fix it. But then again, I guess no one's perfect.
I woke up some time later, laying in a very soft bed. The comfort of the EKG wasn't there, nor was the twinge of the IV in my arm. I looked around, and found very little. Beds, other patients, curtains... it was rather boring, and it made me restless. It was very strange to feel restless after a procedure. Possibly two. They said if I was doing well enough, they would do it back-to-back.
I moved to sit up and found it took my breath away. My heart started pounding, stronger than I'd ever felt it. The dizzying feeling was new... not weak, but overwhelming. I could breathe easily, despite my body saying that I shouldn't be able to. It had worked! Whatever they did, it worked!
“You've been sick for a long time,” a voice came. It was someone in the hallway, looking at other patient's charts. It was strange not seeing them at a computer. “It's going to take a little while for your body to get adjusted to having a fully functional heart.”
“I was dying,” I said, looking down at my scars. They were still there, but faded. The band was still on my wrist. I didn't plan to take it off any time soon.
“Well, yes.” She came over and checked my chart. She nodded, satisfied, and put it back. “Dying or not, however, you're fine now, but don't push yourself. A functional heart in a weak body can be just as deadly. I'm sure you'll recover quickly, but try to relax until then.
I nodded and laid back down. “It's boring in here.”
“Pardon?”
“There's nothing to watch.”
She looked at me like that seemed silly. “Well, what could you possibly watch, dear child?”
She looked around, and I realized for the first time that it was the dead of night. I hadn't even realized it was dark, for some reason.
“Um, the EKG machine,” I said, feeling embarrassed for some reason. “The IV... or the TV.”
She looked rather confused. “Those are muggle things, aren't they? Yes, that's right. It's why it took so long to get you proper care. Barbaric those muggles are.”
“We are not barbaric!” I shouted, then clapped my hands over my mouth. No one else stirred.
The nursed sighed. “I'm sorry dear, just... some of those practices make me shudder. It all seems so primitive. I mean, we can regrow bones with a simple potion. But casts, and sometimes cutting open a person and using devices and...” She shuddered. “I can't imagine the pain that person must be in. Or having to touch someone like that.”
It happened. I almost smiled. Heck, I almost giggled. For some reason it had brought to mind something I'd seen on TV that seemed very amusing to me. But I held it in. She didn't need to know that I was amused, nor would she understand what I was amused about. But she reminded me of someone on TV, and in a movie once.
“I'll get you some Sleeping Solution. I'm sure it won't be quite as boring in the morning. In fact, if you're feeling better by then, you'll be able to go to Diagon Alley for your things.”
I nodded and drank whatever it was that they gave me. And I didn't even remember going to sleep.
~///~
It was two days, actually, before I went to Diagon Alley. It was rather difficult for me. The doctors said that my body was used to having to work hard, so it was overcompensating for every effort. Pardon, they're mediwitches and stuff now. Either way, I was finally able to go to Diagon Alley with an escort. A wizard by the name of Alurn Cathoway.
Apparently he was a volunteer for St Mungo's and a local orphanage. He guided children like me around when there was no one else to do it. I'd guess he was happy to do it. He smiled the entire time.
Our first stop was a place called Olivander's, a dusty little shop with many many boxes everywhere. I was rather amazed at the sheer volume of them. And after so long of being in a sterile enviroment, it was very strange being in a place that was not only dusty, but so horribly disorganized. Then the little old man came up and began measuring me, muttering something. I didn't really catch what he was saying, and I wondered if I should be trying. But by the time that thought was completed he'd run off again, going though boxes.
“He seems awefully more excited about this than I am,” I said, watching him.
Alurn (which he insisted I call him) laughed at this, watching as well. “He's always been like this. Like each time is new.”
“Is that so?” I may have thought to say more, but I couldn't even think before he came back and shoved one of those sticks in my hand.
I stared at it a moment before he gestured that I should do something. “Well, go on! Give it a wave!”
I frowned and did as he said. Nothing happened. He frowned and took it from me, going back to the boxes.
“Is that right?” I looked up to Alurn. “Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe I'm not a witch.”
He only smiled back at me. “Angelica, it's Hogwarts. They don't get it wrong. Trust me on this one.”
I huffed a little, though it really was quite reassuring. “Easy for you to say.”
The man came back and stuck another stick in my hand and watched on eagerly. I figured I just had to do like last time, and wave it a little. This time a small jet set out and just hit the man's sleeve. I was so shocked, I dropped the wand immediately, pulling my hands to my mouth. The man caught the wand easily and went back to searching.
“There, see? You are a witch after all!”
I nodded wordlessly, still amazed that I'd done something. The man kept fumbling about with boxes and finally I realized I had no clue what was going on. I looked up to Alurn, genuinely confused. “What's going on?”
“He's just trying to find the right wand,” he said. “It takes a little bit, but I guarantee he's the best in the business.”
“If you say so...”
Then he came back with a very slender, pinkish sort of wand. It looked very delicate. Once again the wand was placed in my hand, and I gave it a wave. A very soft light came from it, and lit the air as I moved. I couldn't help but smile.
“Charms girl, aren't ya?” he asked me, grinning. Before I could respond, however, he went on ahead talking. “I know I know, you won't know until you've started school. But I guarentee you should stick with charms. Will be your best subject for sure! So, redwood wand, unicorn hair, 9 3/4 inches. That'll be five galleons.”
I blinked and looked up at Alurn, who already had the money out. Five rather large-looking coins, actually. He handed them to the mand who'd given me my wand, and I got the odd feeling I should know his name or something by now. But I wasn't very used to asking, and no one spoke up, so I decided to just leave it. I at least waved as I left the store.
We went shopping for clothes, next. Apparetly what little clothing I had didn't suit wizards, so I had to get a few sets of robes. It was rather quiet, boring, and uneventful. And I wasn't sure I fancied robes. They reminded me a lot of the robes on the fourth floor: warmer than the regular hospital gowns, but still not all there. Apparently I didn' have much of a choice. At school, at least, I would need to wear them. Of course, I could always wear something more comfortable underneath than what they had, so it wouldn't be too bad.
As we left the robe shop, Alurn laid a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see he looked concerned.
“Aren't you happy to be going to Hogwarts?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Yeah, I am. Why?”
He sighed. “I dunno. You just never seem it. You never laugh, you never even smile.”
I looked back to the ground, ashamed. “I'm not sure I remember how to. I mean, I just can't.”
“Why not?” He continued walking, guiding me along.
“I remember something, from a while ago. Forced smiles.. fake smiles. I don't want to do that, and I know that if I do it now, that's all it'll be.” I looked back up to him, wishing I could smile for him. But I wouldn't do that. I knew if I had to think about it, it wasn't real. “I am happy, really. But it's not really something I'm used to.”
He grew quiet. Really quiet. I knew he was thinking, and wondering if he should ask me something. He was more decisive than others, because he spoke before I could say anything else. “How long have you been sick?”
“As long as I can remember.” I looked back to where we were walking, gazing at the streets and the people. And I realized just how fake so many people were. They didn't seem to really understand what was going on around them. “But in my file, I was six months old when it started. A doctor wrote on that page: failure to thrive.”
“Wow...” His voice sounded amazed and depressed at the same time. “Well, this is a big change for you then, isn't it?”
“Yeah, it is.” And I was terrified of it. I still wasn't at full strength, and I felt even weaker since the procedure. I mean, stronger, yes, but compared to before I just felt so weak. They said it was normal, but I wonder if they wrote somewhere those dreaded words again. And I so wanted to see. If they weren't there now, would they be in a few months? Those words again? I could imagine them...
Failure to thrive...